Control
by Shinara66
Summary: Arizona hides a dark past. When Callie wants kids, she finds out more from her girlfriend than she ever thought possible. Can true love save them or will Arizona's demons rip them apart?
1. Chapter 1

** All television shows, books, movies, and other copyrighted material referred to in this work and the characters, events, and settings thereof are the properties of their respective owners. As this work is an interpretation of the original material and not for profit, it constitutes fair use. Reference to real persons, places, or events are made in a fictional context and are not intended to be libelous, defamatory, or in any way factual.**

**Chapter 1**

Callie had been at a loss for words since she had last spoken to Arizona. She had been confident that she knew the other woman, that she had finally figured out the cause to Arizona's reluctance to having children. The weight of their argument had seemed to fade away when Callie mentioned Arizona's brother to Mark. She had solved the problem and all she had to do was let the blonde know that she understood.

She had not been prepared for the look she received. She had seen Arizona display an array of emotions. Happy, sad, surprised, confused, loving, lustful, overwhelmed, supportive. She had seen them all. Even when the other woman was upset, her blue eyes were always bright and alert and focused. The look she had received was like nothing she had ever seen from the smaller woman. It was beyond angry. It was far from simply being upset or tired. It was hatred. When the look was directed at her, Callie had barely recognized Arizona. She was not the cute, confident and flirty new doctor who had kissed her at Joe's. She was not the confused woman standing in an elevator asking her on a date. She was not the smiling girlfriend confessing her love to her.

The look had startled Callie enough to realize that this argument was larger than it seemed. The hatred she saw in those blue eyes she loved so much was not directed at her. It was directed inward. Arizona was protecting herself from something. The words had shocked Callie next. She had always heard people talk about others' words "dripping with venom". She understood that phrase now. Arizona had always spoken to Callie with nothing but reverent tones. Never had the dark-haired woman felt more important than when Arizona Robbins spoke to her. It didn't matter what they talked about. When the blonde spoke to Callie, her words and tone of voice were always light and musical. It was as if every word had been rehearsed to ensure that they had the most powerful impact. Arizona's words to Callie had never "dripped venom". Not until today, that is. Callie was too overwhelmed to say or do anything. She had sat and listened to Arizona talk about not being broken. She had seen the look in her eyes and the tension in her shoulders as she informed her that she hoped she wasn't wrong about enjoying her life with Callie in it.

It had been too much. Callie had gone from thinking she knew Arizona Robbins, that she knew the root cause of their argument, to having the floor fall away beneath her feet. She didn't know anything. Worst of all, she felt like she really didn't know the blonde as well as she thought she did either. As Arizona had gotten to her feet and headed to the door, Callie's mind had frantically told her to say something, to do something. All she had managed was a weak, "Wait" before Arizona had left the room.

Callie had remained in the room for more than an hour going over everything she had ever talked about with Arizona. She had replayed their last conversation in her mind until she couldn't stand it anymore. She knew that things didn't add up. The anger she had received from Arizona had not been justified. If the other woman just did not want kids, she couldn't seem to understand where all the anger was coming from. Why not just tell her that her brother and her job had nothing to do with her decision? Why all the venom? In the end, Callie had decided that, as much as she wanted children, she wanted Arizona more. Her past relationships had paled in comparison to Arizona. She had cared for George and had thought she was in love with him. Her desire to have children, then, had come from a different place. In those days, she had thought that having a child would cement things between herself and George. She had hoped that a baby would make their relationship real and important to him. She'd had selfish reasons for wanting a child then. When she got involved with Erica, well, kids weren't really on her mind, what with all the self discovery and all.

With Arizona she felt loved and respected, desired and needed. She felt like an equal with Arizona. She had to try to save that before throwing in the towel. She had to try to understand things before she gave up. Calliope Torres didn't like being confused, so she had decided that she had to try to get the blonde to open up to her before completely shutting her out of her life.

When Callie walked into her room and saw Arizona lying on her side of the bed, she smiled. As upset as the blonde was with her, she had still come home to their bed and laid down on Callie's side. Callie hesitated only briefly before lying down next to the smaller woman. She was slightly hurt that Arizona turned away from her, but she was determined to say what she had to say. Lying against the blonde, she placed her left hand on Arizona's side as she bent her head slightly to breathe in the woman's scent. She loved the way Arizona smelled. Once upon a time, she had thought it odd to be so wrapped up in something as simple as the way a person smelled. Like everything else with the peds surgeon, nothing was simple. Arizona smelled like Japanese cherry blossoms. It was light and subtle, but it drove her crazy.

"My cousin's baby punched her in the face" she said as she let out a sigh. "Literally. She had a black eye from a one year old." Arizona's only response was a deep sigh. The sigh told Callie that she was tired of having this particular argument. The dark skinned woman continued to stare at the back of the blonde's head. This was harder to say than she had expected. Everything she had been feeling was threatening to come out.

"Who needs that, right? she asked when she received no other signs of response from Arizona. Her voice wasn't as strong as it had been. Arizona looked confused at Callie's words and the emotions behind them. "I don't need that" Callie continued, her statement sounding more like a question.

"They scream, they're grimy, they smell like poop. The whole house...smells like poop." Arizona turned over to face her lover as the other woman started to cry. Her heart hurt for Callie. She, literally, felt sick to her stomach seeing the raven haired woman break down into tears. Calliope was right about one thing. She didn't need that, meaning, she didn't need her. Arizona wanted to tell Callie everything. She wanted to explain things to the other woman so that she would understand. She wanted a lot of things. Calliope didn't need Arizona keeping her from her dreams, her desires. She didn't need all the extra baggage that Arizona came with.

"Don't" the peds surgeon whispered to Callie. She had meant to say more, but all that she could get to come was that single word. Callie continued to cry as the enormity of the situation came crashing down on her. She was emotionally exhausted. She hated fighting with Arizona. She hated feeling like she was being left in the dark. She just wanted them to go back to casual lunches in the cafeteria. She wanted sexy time in an on-call room and playful banter about chicken pox. She wanted late nights at the batting cage with her arms wrapped tightly around Arizona's waist. She wanted to dance in her living room and conspire with the blonde to play matchmaker for Bailey. She wanted to sit in the park and eat pizza. What she didn't want was this gut wrenching feeling she was currently experiencing.

"Don't" she heard Arizona repeat herself, but couldn't stop the flood of emotions from overcoming her. She felt Arizona shift in the bed and felt her hands come to rest against her face. "Don't" Arizona sighed against her lips before softly kissing her. That was all it took for Callie to let go. She didn't want to think about things anymore. She just wanted to experience everything her senses could tell her about the woman next to her. She kissed Arizona back as she mirrored the other woman's actions and brought her hands to Arizona's face.

Moving slightly, Callie brought the hand that was on Arizona's face to the side of her head so she could support her weight above her. She leaned into the blonde as she dragged her tongue over Arizona's bottom lip.

"Calliope..." the blonde half sighed-half moaned against her mouth. Callie didn't give Arizona time to form any further protest. She kissed a hot path down the woman's chin and neck, stopping only briefly to place a gentle kiss on her pulse point, before her lips came to rest against Arizona's right ear. She nuzzled the small space behind the blonde's ear with her nose before whispering, "I love you" and placing a light kiss on Arizona's ear lobe. She heard and felt the blonde let out a gasp. Arizona's hands found their way to the top of her head and let her hair down. Her nails scratched lightly against Callie's scalp. Callie realized that the other woman was trying to pull her head up.

"Calliope, don't." It was obvious to the ortho surgeon that Arizona was finding it difficult to concentrate on resisting. She didn't know what the blonde was trying to tell her. A part of her was screaming that she needed to listen to Arizona. She needed to talk to her. The other, and larger, part of her was demanding that she just FEEL the other woman. She was tired of talking. Talking had gotten them nowhere. She just wanted to touch and taste Arizona. She wanted to find her peace in the body of the woman currently breathing heavily into her hair.

Moving her head slightly, Callie positioned her mouth against Arizona's ear once again. She let out a sigh that she knew would send chills along Arizona's body. Her right hand was slowly finding its way under the hem of the blonde's shirt and she felt the rewards of her actions when her hand grazed chill bumps on Arizona's stomach.

"I love you" she repeated in Arizona's ear. Her tongue was drawing lazy circles along Arizona's ear lobe. The blonde's hands in her hair were tightening into an almost frantic grip and the breaths against her head were quickly becoming pants.

"Just let me touch you, baby, please," Callie whispered, "feel me, be with me." She knew she sounded almost desperate, but her body was telling her that this was what she needed. Her mind was telling her that this was what they both needed. Callie brought her head up so that she could look down into the blonde's blue eyes. They were two shades darker than her normal hue and that alone sent an electric shiver down Callie's spine. Arizona's hands had moved from her hair down to her chest and where down flat against her sternum. Callie knew that Arizona could most likely feel her heart pounding against the inside of her chest. She leaned down to kiss the blonde and was relieved when she felt no resistance. Arizona moved her hands to the back of Callie's neck and proceeded to, once again, wrap her fingers in her hair.

"Calliope," Arizona whispered before Callie's lips could connect with her own, "You drive me crazy. I want you. I want you so badly" she sighed. Callie's only response was to kiss her. She felt as if Arizona was trying to tell her more with her words. In her lust induced state, it was hard for her to follow that train of thought. She felt Arizona kicking the sheets off the bed to free her legs. Callie shifted so that she was directly on top of the smaller woman. It wasn't often that Callie was in control of their love making. Arizona was a bit of a control freak and rarely gave up control of anything. Callie was determined that, tonight, she would be in control. Pulling back from the kiss, she straddled the blonde's slim hips and looked down at her. Arizona looked uncertain, but highly aroused. Her hands were kneading Callie's thighs and making their way slowly up to the apex of her legs. Callie couldn't suppress the moan that escaped her mouth. Breathing heavily, she looked back down at Arizona before grabbing her hands and pulling them away from her body.

"Arizona, you don't have to be in control of everything all the time, baby." The blonde looked confused as she felt the Latina shift her weight above her and pin her hands above her head. Arizona immediately tried to remove them from Callie's grasp, but the larger woman pressed them back against the pillows at the headboard.

"Don't" she told her. Arizona looked up into Callie's eyes and saw that she was very serious. Something was transpiring between them. Something larger than the two of them. Callie was trying to make a point. She was trying to get Arizona to see...something. If she was honest with herself, she had to admit that she was extremely turned on by this power play. It wasn't often that Arizona Robbins let anyone top her. This was different. She had never been so turned on in her life. She was convinced that her heart was going to pound out of her chest. She couldn't seem to get enough air into her lungs, if her heavy breathing was any indication. She shifted slightly under the weight of her girlfriend and realized how wet she had become.

"Don't, Ari." Callie looked down at her before repositioning herself so that her weight rested on her left side where her left hand currently held the blonde's hands above her head. Arizona was watching her every move as she tried, desperately, to draw air into her lungs. The blonde's eyes were fixed on Callie's. She saw her own arousal mirrored in the dark pools before her. Arizona felt Callie's free hand moving down her body. She swallowed a sharp gasp as the other woman's hand reached the hem of her shirt once again. Callie leaned forward and kissed Arizona. The blonde had never experienced a more heated kiss in all 32 of her years. Calliope's body was on fire and her tongue was forcing that heat into Arizona's mouth. She moaned into Callie's mouth as she fought for a breath. The dark skinned woman's hand was now under her shirt and moving upwards along her stomach.

"Oh God" she groaned. She didn't know what was different about tonight, but something was. Arizona felt as if she would die from sensory overload. She attempted to pull Callie into another kiss, but was disappointed when the other woman pulled back.

"Ari, keep your eyes on me" Callie said as she looked down at the woman beneath her. The hand under Arizona's shirt had reached her breasts and was currently tracing a path around one of the blonde's nipples. Arizona arched her back in a desperate attempt to deepen the contact between them. Her eyes closed as Callie moved her hand to her other breast. She was being driven mad by the other woman. Her hands were still pinned above her head and Callie refused to even remove the blonde's bra so she could feel her skin against her own.

"Open your eyes. Look at me, baby" the blonde heard Callie say. She opened her eyes and was overcome with arousal when she saw the look the dark skinned woman was giving her. She was amazed by this entire experience. Callie had not even really touched her that much. They were both still fully clothed, but Arizona was finding it extremely difficult to even care too much about that minor detail. One moment she had been lying in their bed contemplating the day's events. The next moment, Callie was crying and giving up her dreams for her. And now? Now she was writhing beneath the woman she loved more than anything else. Now, she was gasping and panting as she tried to remember to breathe. Now, she was flooded with sensation and emotion as she stared into the eyes of her lover.

"Calliope," she breathed as she tried, yet again, to deepen the physical contact between them. "I need to touch you. I can't...I can't..." The rest of the sentence was cut short when the blonde felt Callie's hand start a downward path towards the drawstrings of her pants. She moaned deeply and loudly as she felt the raven haired woman's fingers working on untying the loop to her pants. Her hips moved and bucked of their own accord. Once Callie had the knot untied, she proceeded to push the pants down Arizona's legs. The blonde helped her in that endeavor as she practically kicked herself out of, what she considered now, the offensive garment.

"Touch me," Arizona moaned as she looked at Callie, "touch me." The blonde's hands were still grasped in Callie's and she wanted desperately to touch the other woman, but Callie's grip was strong and she found that she couldn't break the hold. She felt Callie shift her weight marginally and her grip loosened for just a moment. It was enough. Arizona tore her hands from the loose grip and immediately buried them into dark tresses. She brought her lips to Callie's and moaned at the contact. Her tongue didn't wait for an invitation before invading the darker woman's mouth. She was breathing heavily through her nose as she felt her tongue come into contact with Callie's. Both women gasped at the feeling.

Callie was trying to regain control when she felt Arizona wrap her legs around her waist. Deepening the kiss with the smaller woman, Callie slipped her hand under Arizona's panties. The blonde moved her hips forward trying to get Callie's hand where she needed it. She broke away from the kiss to draw, much needed, air into her lungs. Callie removed her hand from Arizona's panties as she moved to rest her weight on her left arm. Pulling back, she used her right hand to remove the blonde's hands from her hair and put them back above her head. Once there, she leaned into Arizona and shifted her weight so that she could grasp the blonde's hands, once again in her left hand.

"Just wait" she said softly to Arizona. It was spoken so lightly, that Arizona wasn't sure if she had actually spoken. She looked up at Callie and saw her smiling down at her. Whatever was happening between them, it was important. Callie moved her hips down against the blonde causing her to moan as she closed her eyes. Arizona felt soft lips against her own before hearing Callie say, "Eyes open, Zona"

Callie was trying to kill her. It was the only explanation that the blonde could come up with. She couldn't touch the other woman. She couldn't close her eyes and Callie wouldn't just get on with it. Arizona didn't know if it was tormented pleasure she was feeling or exquisite pain. Her panties were soaked with the evidence of her need. She just wanted Callie to touch her.

Breathing deeply, she attempted to slow her pounding heart. Opening her eyes once again, she looked back up at Callie. The other woman sighed before saying, "This feels good, Ari. This IS good." Callie ground her hips down again, causing Arizona to let out a long moan. The blonde's hips were moving up and down trying to feel the woman above her. Her legs, wrapped around Callie's waist, tightened as Callie continued to rub herself against the blonde.

The dark skinned woman was amazed at the look in Arizona's eyes. It was breathtaking. She found it hard to keep her own eyes open. The feelings and sensations running through her were mind blowing. She moved her hand back down to Arizona's panties and slipped her finger inside. The blonde bucked her hips wildly as she groaned deeply. Callie couldn't believe how wet the other woman was. Slipping her fingers through her folds, she couldn't help but moan herself. Arizona was looking at her through hooded eyes. The dark haired woman could feel the blonde's breath on her face as she gasped for air.

"Callie..." Arizona whispered. Callie locked eyes with Arizona before dropping two fingers lower and sliding them into her. The blonde's eyes went wide as her hips surged forward to intensify the contact. She was finding it insanely difficult to keep her eyes open, but the look Callie was giving her made her continue to try. Callie was in awe of Arizona. The emotions running over her face and through her eyes was almost enough to give Callie her own release.

"You feel amazing, Ari"

Callie's head dropped slightly to rest against the blondes and their breathing evened out to match the others. Arizona leaned forward to kiss the darker woman. Her hips were still moving forward trying to get Callie's fingers deeper. The ortho surgeon was so wrapped up in what she was experiencing, that she failed to notice Arizona pulling her hands free from the grasp above her head.

"Arizona..."

"Calliope..."

Both women looked into each others eyes. Arizona's right hand was running down Callie's spine while her left was wrapping itself around Callie's right wrist. She slowed the fingers inside her with her touch. Callie looked at her, afraid that the blonde was going to end what was happening between them.

"I love you, too" Arizona said softly before pushing Callie's fingers deeper insde her. She gasped as she felt Callie curl her fingers. The two women had locked gazes and were panting heavily against one another. The blonde's legs were digging into Callie's waist and back as she felt herself nearing orgasm. The hand wrapped around Callie's wrist was threatening to cut off the darker skinned woman's circulation.

Callie broke eye contact briefly to slam her mouth into Arizona's. Their tongue's were battling for dominance and as the two women breathed the others air. Callie took Arizona's bottom lip between her teeth and nipped her playfully before running her tongue along it to sooth it. She felt the other tightening around her fingers as her hips gave way to a frantic pace. Pulling her gaze back up to the blonde's, she whispered softly to her "Let go, baby. For me, just let go." Her words had a double meaning. She wasn't sure which meaning Arizona took, but the next thing she knew, her fingers were being cluthced tightly as Arizona stiffened beneath her. The blonde's hips froze as she dug her feet into the back of Callie's thighs. Arizona heard herself moaning and panting, but it sounded dim over the pounding in her ears.


	2. Chapter 2

Arizona was convinced that she would never get enough air into her lungs the rest of her life. Her body relaxed beneath Callie's and she felt the other woman gently kissing her temple. Her heart was doing little to slow its pace. She could feel her pulse pounding behind her eyes and hear it thrumming in her ears.

Arizona was vaguely aware of Callie moving to lie beside her. Her legs felt weak and her mouth was dry. Callie's fingers were still inside of her and the blonde had never felt more spent, fulfilled, or complete in her entire existence. The hand that she had wrapped around Callie's wrist tugged gently. She felt the other woman slowly remove her fingers and she gasped softly at the change. It left her feeling empty. She brought Callie's fingers to her lips and kissed them blonde heard herself hum in contentment as her own taste and scent left her feeling light-headed.

Callie dropped her hand to Arizona's chest and rested her palm over the blonde's heart. The steady rhythm was soothing. It made everything that had just happened between them real. Something had changed. That much Callie knew. The raven haired beauty just wasn't sure what that change would entail.

Callie moved so that she could wrap the sheets around them. Arizona had not yet spoken and it was making the ortho surgeon uneasy. She didn't want to explain things or answer any questions right now. The dark skinned woman wasn't even sure if she HAD any answers. She just wanted to exist in the moment. She wanted to shut out the world and its problems and snuggle with her girlfriend.

Arizona brought her left hand up to rest against Callie's hand on her chest. She had no words at the moment. She and Callie had made love a number of times. It was always passionate and loving and unbelievably satisfying. But, what she had just experienced threw every other orgasm she'd ever had out the window. She had given up a modicum of control tonight. She'd given a piece of herself to Callie that she never had prior. She was...effervescent. She'd never felt so close to the other woman. The troubles they'd had the past several weeks seemed to be like fading shadows. If only things could truly be as they seemed.

She sighed as she felt Callie settle beside her. The dark haired woman was placing soft kisses along her jaw and cheeks. Arizona turned her head slightly so she could bring her lips into contact with Calliope's. The kiss was gentle and wet and full of emotion. Callie's lips were full and soft and Arizona loved kissing her. She'd never kissed anyone like Calliope Torres before. The fiery Latina could change one type of kiss to another with nothing more than added pressure. She could be playful one moment, lightly pecking the blonde's lips while laughing, and undeniably sexy and wanton the next, dragging her tongue behind Arizona's teeth before bitting down on her bottom lip.

The kiss the blonde was currently engaged in was sweet and soft. It carried with it an undertone of uncertainty. Arizona kissed Callie once more before pulling back to look at her. Her girlfriend's face was pleading with her to say something. Arizona squeezed the hand on her chest and took a breath. Her heart was still pounding against her rib cage, but it was starting to slow its pace.

"Calliope. That was...amazing. I love you. I love you so much. Please know that" The blonde felt like she needed to say more, but at the moment, all she could do was try to overcome her previous sensory overload.

Callie looked at her and sighed briefly. Her brow wrinkled in confusion as her mind replayed the blonde's words. 'Please know that' What was that supposed to mean? Of course she knew the blonde loved her. Was Arizona trying to apologize for her earlier words? Was she was feeling overcome with emotion? The words almost sounded like a plea; like she was trying to get Callie to understand some fundamental truth before she...before she broke up with her?

Arizona's words from earlier in the evening floated back to Callie's mind.

"Don't" Callie couldn't get herself to breathe. Her mind was reeling. She knew she and Arizona were having difficulties, but she didn't think the blonde would actually break up with her. Would she? Especially not after she had basically told the smaller woman that she was willing to give up the idea of children to keep her in her life. She didn't want to know the answer to her unspoken question. Not tonight.

"Calliope, don't"

"No" she said. Arizona looked at her, her confusion clear on her face.

"No, Arizona."

"Callio-"

"NO!" You're not...we're not doing this now, okay? Please baby, for tonight, can we just be together?"

Arizona wanted to say yes, but felt as if she should say no. She wanted to explain to Calliope that things would be easier if they parted ways now, instead of later. She wanted to tell Callie that she was not going to let her give up anything in her life for her. She couldn't be the reason for Callie not being allowed to have something in her life. She couldn't. As she looked at the determined look on her girlfriend's face, she felt her resolve waning. She wanted so many things with Callie. Her future, her life was in the eyes of the woman next to her. However, she felt that her control over the situation had to be maintained, for Callie. Everything she needed may have been in Calliope Torres but she felt that she'd never be able to give the woman what she wanted. What she needed. If Callie only knew the true reasons behind her reluctance in having children...

"Okay, Cal. Whatever you want" she heard herself speaking the words, but she felt as if they were being spoken by another. She felt torn. Part of her wanted to stay with Callie and tell her everything. She wanted Callie to put the shattered pieces of her past back together, and in so doing, put HER back together...but, the other part of her wanted to escape, to run. She was getting too close to the things that she'd spent so much time running from. Arizona had worked too hard and too long to have everything fall apart now. She couldn't think about children and parents. She couldn't think about babies and diapers and that intoxicating newborn smell.

She sighed as she felt Callie snuggle down next to her and wrap her right arm around her waist. The blonde brought her left hand up to run up and down Callie's arm. The feel of her skin beneath her finger tips was comforting to Arizona. Everything about Callie was comforting to Arizona. She felt Callie sigh against her neck. For just a moment, the peds surgeon could pretend that nothing was wrong. Everything in the world was right. Everything with she and Callie was as it should be.

"Callie," she said softly, using the shortened version of the Latina's name. "I love you. You're everything to me. You're my purpose for...being here." The blonde was finding it difficult to speak past the lump forming in her throat. "I'm sorry for hurting you. That's the last...I'd nev-"

Her words were cut short by Callie's fingers on her lips.

"Ari, I know. I know, baby. Okay? Let's just, for tonight, forget about all the bad. I don't want to fight anymore. I'm tired and I just want to be here with you. I love you, Arizona. Sometimes, that scares me." She laughed uneasily to herself before continuing. "You scare me, Ari. The feelings you elicit in me are...bigger than me. It's crazy, but I like it. I like being whipped."

She said the last bit with a hearty laugh and kissed the blonde's neck. She hoped Arizona heard her words. She needed the other woman to understand where she was coming from, but she didn't want to get into a long discussion just to get Arizona to see her point.

The blonde was silent for a moment as she absorbed Callie's words. They made her heart skip a beat but, at the same time, they made her stomach sink. Callie didn't understand. She couldn't. She was only making things harder for them. Arizona wanted to say as much, but she had promised Callie that, for tonight, they would just be together.

"You scare me, too, Calliope." The blonde sighed as she continued to run her hand down Callie's arm in a slow pattern. She could feel the other woman relaxing under her touch and her breathing was starting to become more steady.

Arizona turned her head and lightly kissed Callie's forehead. She let her lips linger briefly as she inhaled the dark haired woman's perfume. For long moments, they stayed that way. Arizona could feel Callie's heart beating steadily against her side. She smiled as she closed her eyes. If only everything was as perfect as it seemed. She sighed before speaking once more.

"You scare me. You make me want things. You make me believe that anything is possible. You...you make me want to tell you everything." The blonde stiffened when she heard herself say the last part. She hoped Callie wouldn't read too much into it. To her fortune, she realized that Callie had fallen asleep under her gentle ministrations.

She rolled more fully onto her back and brought Callie with her. The larger woman moaned soflty in her sleep before her head came to rest on the blonde's shoulder. Arizona ran the fingers of one hand through Callie's hair as the other hand continued to play across the skin of her arm. Staring up at the ceiling, Arizona sighed.

"I love you, Calliope. I just wish that I could keep you."


	3. Chapter 3

_"I just don't...see what the rush is. I mean, I'm a resident. I-I don't have any time to myself. I barely have time to spend with you. I'll be looking to start my peds fellowship before long...I just, I don't want to feel-"_

_"Rushed?" Arizona looked at the darker haired woman and sighed. The other woman's green eyes were sparkling with a hint of amusement. She couldn't help the smile that was slowly starting to appear on her own face._

_"Terri, I'm 25. Can't we wait for-"_

_"For what, Zona? For you to become a world renowned pediatric surgeon? How rushed would you feel then?" Terri pursed her lips as she looked at the smaller blonde headed woman. Putting her hands on Arizona's shoulders, she looked deep into her eyes before speaking again._

_"Zona, the time is now. Things are good now. We can do this, okay? And just think, when you want to pull your hair out, you can come see me. I'm going to be the crazy shrink at the hospital anyways. Okay?"_

_Arizona released another sigh and brought her eyes up to meet the level gaze of her girlfriend. Terri was smiling that, insanely perfect, smile and Arizona couldn't help but smile back._

_"Okay, Terri, let's do it."_

Arizona awoke with a start. Her mind couldn't seem to focus and her brain felt fuzzy. Had she been dreaming? Why was she awake now? Had she been talking to Terri? No, that couldn't be right. She hadn't seen Terri since...

The sound of her pager going off brought her back to full reality. That annoying little device was the cause for her current state. She realized that she had, in fact, been dreaming and that her pager going off was the reason the dream had ended. Untangling herself from Callie, she rolled out of bed and grabbed her pager to silence it. A 911 page. Great. The blonde looked at the sleeping form of her girlfriend and felt her stomach fall.

She couldn't do this. She couldn't give Callie what she needed. Doing so would only open old wounds that the blonde had long since closed. She couldn't let Callie see anything other than happy, together, perky Arizona Robbins. She had to maintain control of the situation. She couldn't slip up now. She. Couldn't.

Dressing quickly, she softly kissed Callie good-bye and left for the hospital.

"What do we have?" Arizona said as she entered the hospital and saw Karev at the nurses station. He looked up at her and handed her a chart.

"Melanie Travers. Seven years old. Acute lymphoblastic leukemia. She was diagnosed when she was three and was considered low risk. Her doctor's started her on the standard treatment for low risk patients: prednisone, L-asparaginase, and vincristine. She responded well and her doctors started her on consolidation therapy. She was looking at a full remission, but apparently, the leukemia was more aggressive than her doctors realized. They were afraid to put her back on the methotrexate and 6-MP with her-"

Karev paused for a moment and looked at Arizona. She hadn't moved or spoken or even nodded her head since he had placed the young girl's chart in her hands.

Normally, when he handed her a patient's chart, she would insist on him walking AND talking as they made their way to the patient's room. He was more than a little confused by the blonde doctors behavior.

"Dr. Robbins? You hearing me?" he asked in a tentative yet, slightly annoyed, voice. Arizona looked up from the chart and shook her head before smiling at him.

"Yes. Of course. I'm just-I just didn't get much sleep and I haven't even had any coffee and I'm trying to understand why your page was a 911. The patient's doctors could have continued her consolidation therapy. There's nothing surgical here. Why did you wake me up in the middle of the night?"

"She has a hepatoblastoma. The facility her parents were taking her to specialized in leukemia. They didn't have the means for a surgical resection. They recommended that Melanie be brought here to see you. Her liver is fried with all the drugs she's been on. With her immune system already being compromised with the ALL, surgery is the last thing she needs."

Arizona looked from the chart to Karev. This case was giving her a headache and she'd only been on it for ten minutes. Melanie needed to continue her treatment AND she needed the tumor on her liver removed. Not doing one meant success for the other. Hepatoblastomas were almost always malignant. That was pretty much a given in this case. This case. Arizona sighed. She wished the girl's doctors hadn't sent her parents here to see HER.

Any other time, Arizona would have been thrilled. She loved the fact that she was renowned for being one of the best in her field. It meant she was doing her job. It meant she was good at it. But, this case and this little girl...

_"Hannah isn't responding to the medication. The cancer is continuing to spread. If we can't get-get it under control, it'll spread to her spine and then to her brain. Dr. Hasburn is an inept idiot. This was caught early enough. I-I just, I don't understand why this is hap-"_

_She collapsed against the other woman. Her legs couldn't support her weight any longer. As she felt the tears finally start to fall, she was overcome with grief. She felt empty inside; hopeless. Her body shook violently as she cried. She needed to do something. There should be something she could do. She couldn't breathe. She couldn't think and she knew if things ended the way she feared they would, she wouldn't be able to live either._

_The other woman held her close as she, too, cried. She cried for the woman in her arms. She cried for herself. She cried for Hannah. This wasn't how things were supposed to be. Not for them._

"Dr. Robbins?"

Arizona blinked and looked back at Karev. Goddamn this case. She didn't need this. This was the last thing she needed. This was...this was her job. She sighed to herself. This was her job. She didn't have a choice. The girl's doctors had sent Melanie here to see her. This was her job.

"Yeah, look, do me a favor. Go to the cafeteria and get me a coffee. I need something to shock the sleep from my brain. Make sure it's strong, too, Karev."

Alex just looked at her. Did she really expect him to go fetch her a cup of coffee like he was some low-life intern? He was about to voice his objections when she spoke again.

"Green-eyed monster, Karev. You. My girlfriend. Brick. Ringing any bells for you? Coffee. Now." The dimples never once left her face as she said the words. Her voice was it's typical light and musical tone. It annoyed Karev to no end. He sighed and turned to go to the cafeteria when he heard her speaking again.

"I'll be in the patient's room, Karev. Make it snappy"


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4:**

Callie hated that she was a heavy sleeper. It always amazed her that her own pager going off could awaken her in seconds, but the sound of her girlfriend's pager sounding failed to even filter into her dreams. Rolling over and feeling the empty, cold space next to her, she sighed. Her mind immediately went back to the previous night's events.

Callie smiled as she remembered Arizona breathing heavily against her and pleading with her body for Callie to touch her. Her sides were sore from the tight hold the blonde's legs had had on her and her left arm was killing her from having had supported her weight above Arizona.

She threw the sheets back and checked the time from the clock on the night stand. 11:47 a.m. If she showered quickly, she could meet Arizona for lunch. She knew the blonde was most likely paged at some point during the night. She didn't think Arizona would leave without word for anything other than a 911. At least, she didn't want to think she would. Suddenly, she wasn't too sure. She knew that something fundamental had happened between them. It was one of those things didn't require a confirmation.

Arizona would want to talk, Callie knew. The other woman didn't like feeling as if she didn't have a firm grip on any given situation. Callie had felt the hesitation in her body and seen the uncertainty in her blue eyes. Sighing again, she headed towards the bathroom to get herself ready. This was going to be a long day.

She couldn't do this. She thought she could, but she was lying to herself. It was this case! Try as she might, she couldn't seem to pull herself together. She had blamed the lack of sleep, the bad hospital coffee, and Alex Karev. When none of those proved to be a sufficient excuse, she'd finally just blamed not having her heely shoes in an attempt to jest with the powers that be for making such a mockery out of her life.

She'd met the patient's parents, Jacob and Kimmy Travers. They were everything you'd expect frightened parents to be. They'd questioned her profusely about every detail of the surgery and the risks involved. Arizona had done her best to explain things to them. She'd told them that the risks were substantial for either scenario. If Melanie didn't have the tumor removed, she ran the risk of the cancer spreading. If she did have it removed, well, then she ran the risk of complications from the surgery. She had informed the parents of the fragile state their daughter's liver was currently in.

They'd taken in everything as best as one could expect. Both of them had thanked her several times for taking their daughter's case. They'd told her about how she came highly recommended.

She had smiled at them, dimples in full force, before walking over to see Melanie. The little girl had taken her breath away. She had light brown hair like her father and bright blue eyes like her mother. Arizona had tried not to stare at the small child, but she couldn't stop the catch in her stomach as she asked Melanie how she was feeling. The child had answered as honestly as she knew how. She'd told Arizona that her tummy had been upset and that she'd not felt like doing anything more than sleep.

When the little girl had looked up and smiled at her, Arizona had been overcome with dizziness. She'd felt her legs trying to give way as her world blurred briefly, before Karev had come up to her side and asked if she was okay.

She had smiled at him and apologized and blamed it, once again, on a lack of sleep. After ordering him to run a series of tests, she'd excused herself and rushed off to the nearest on-call room.

_"I can't do this."_ she thought to herself. She felt like she was drowning. This wasn't her. She just needed to get a handle on things and everything would be fine. A part of her, a huge part of her, wanted to call Callie and...and what? Cry? Break down? Tell her she really was broken? She sat down on the bed in the on-call room and dropped her head into her hands. She hadn't felt this out of sorts in a long time. Not since...

_"I can't seem to make this fit in my head, Terri." Her voice was soft and hoarse, barely a whisper."I f-f-feel like I'm living another person's life...like, like I-I'm watching it all happen to someone else and I feel badly for them. Then, I realize, that the person I'm watching is me." Terri hugged her tightly as they sat on the floor at the foot of their bed. She couldn't believe the news they'd just gotten. Danny, Arizona's brother had died while on active duty. She'd never seen the blonde so upset. When she'd first answered the phone, Terri had thought Arizona's parents were only calling to check in on them, but as she'd watched the smaller woman's face, she'd known it was something tragic._

_Arizona had dropped to the floor as she'd fought to keep her tears at bay. Terri had rushed to her side, a concerned look on her own face. The blonde was struggling to breathe. Her eyes were brimming with unshed tears as they focused on some undetermined spot across the room. Terri had watched as Arizona had tried to form words. Her mouth had moved, but no words had come forth. The attempt had only proven to increase the blonde's difficulty to draw a breath._

_In the end, Terri had taken the phone from her girlfriend and gotten the details she knew Arizona would never have been able to ask for. Arizona had lost her reserve then. The green-eyed woman didn't think she'd ever be able to console her blue-eyed counterpart. The deep, heart wrenching sobs had shattered Terri's soul. Never had she felt someone's grief and anguish more profoundly. All of her training had seemed to fail her. She knew absolutely nothing she could say would ease the pain Arizona felt. So, Terri had held her and bathed her temple and hairline with light kisses and told her how much she loved her._

_"I'm soo sorry, Zona. This isn't what...God, this is so fucked up. How are we supposed to tell-"_

_"Don't! Don't...please. I can't think about that right now. I don't know how I'm supposed to be strong when everything around me is falling apart! I-I just wish we'd thought things through before..."_

_Terri looked at her with wide eyes. "You have regrets?"_

_Arizona laughed as she pulled away from the other woman. It wasn't a laugh laced with mirth. It was humorless and cold and it matched the look in her eyes._

_"Don't you? Things were fine! Our life? Our life, Terri, was perfect. It was you and it was me and it was our careers!_

_"Arizona, stop it! You don't mean any of this. You're just upset." Terri tried to reach out to the blonde, but she was unsuccessful._

_"You think? My brother is dead! I'll never see him again. I'll never talk to him again! He'll never see 'Dims', again and she's..." her voice cracked as she sucked in a sharp breath before looking back at Terri. "She's sick, Terri. She's really, really-" The rest of her words died in her throat as she lost the battle that had been waging within her. Her tears stained her cheeks as they ran in hot tracks down her face. Terri pulled her close, once more, and wrapped her arms around her. The body next to the brunette's rocked spastically against her as the sobs wracked her small frame._

"Ari?" The blonde looked up upon hearing her name. How long had she been in this on call room? She cursed herself when she realized she'd been crying.

"Callie? What are you doing here?"

Callie ignored the question when she saw the tears on the blonde's face. She locked the door behind her and crossed the room quickly before coming to rest on her knees in front of Arizona.

"Ari, what's wrong?" Her voice was heavy with concern and her deep brown eyes were focused intently on the blonde's face.

Arizona sniffed and wiped away the tears on her face with the fingers of her left hand. She leaned forward and let her lips brush suggestively against Callie's. The tip of her tongue ran a slow path along the underside of Callie's top lip. She felt Callie release a breath as her hands gripped her thighs.

"Arizona," Callie pulled away trying to calm her, already crazed, libido. The blonde's hands were resting slightly on her shoulders. She watched Arizona's eyes as the blonde let her fingers brush softly against her collar bone. Callie's eyes closed of their own accord as she leaned into the other woman's touch. "Arizona, talk to me."

"Calliope," the smaller woman's voice had dropped to that low, sultry tone that drove her crazy. It did nothing to help her libido. The blonde's hands were continuing to slid lower over her chest. Callie felt the pace of her breathing quicken. "Does it look like I want to talk?"

Callie gasped against Arizona's lips as she felt the blonde's hands squeeze her breasts to emphasize her point. She moaned despite herself. Arizona felt good. The things she did to her left her feeling light headed. She could feel her body reacting to the blonde's touch as her mind clouded over with arousal. She knew something was bothering the other woman. In all their time together, Callie had seen Arizona cry only one time. She needed her girlfriend to open up and talk to her, but she also knew that the blonde had to talk to her on her own terms.

"Calliope...I love to touch you." The blonde was speaking to her in a breathy whisper against her mouth. She felt Arizona's fingers running slightly over the exposed skin on her chest before dropping down lower to firmly squeeze her breasts. The smaller woman used her tongue to, once again, run along Callie's top lip. When she felt the dark skinned woman respond, she let her tongue draw her into an open mouth kiss.

Callie had drawn herself up on her knees and gripped the tops of Arizona's thighs. She couldn't believe she was this turned on already. Everything Arizona said, everything she did only served to increase her passion. She felt like a slave. A slave who enjoyed her punishment.

"Take off your shirt, Callie. I want to feel you."

There was something undeniably sexy about being told to undress in front of your lover. Callie wasn't sure what it was. What she did know, was that the blonde's words had caused a flood of moisture to pool between her legs and that could only ever be a good thing.

She drew back and looked into the blonde's blue eyes. They were darker, just as Callie expected, but there was something else...

"Now, Calliope"

Callie continued to look at Arizona. She leaned forward again so that her body was nestled between the blonde's legs. She grabbed the blonde's left hand in her right and brought it to the top of her shirt.

"Do it yourself."

Arizona gripped Callie's top roughly with her hand as she stared into her eyes. The Latina's hand was still on her wrist. She continued to look into her eyes as she slowly pulled the top down. Her fingers grazed soft skin as she pulled the shirt down as far as it would go. She ran her hands over every inch of Callie's chest, reveling in the way her touch affected the dark skinned woman. Callie was breathing heavily now and Arizona could feel her heart pounding in her chest.

She ran her hands back up Callie's chest to her neck and finally into her hair. She pulled Callie forward, roughly, and brought her lips into contact with the other woman's. She felt Callie moan into her mouth. She needed this. She needed to forget. She needed to ground herself in the present. This, this feeling, this relationship was her present. This was what brought her to life every morning. This was what kept the tiny coffins away at night. This feeling. This woman. This was her everything. She understood what all those people in those sappy love movies were trying to tell her when they said that another person was their whole world. This woman was her world. Arizona lived, not only through her and for her, but in her.

She never felt more alive than when she was inside the woman in her arms. She needed that now. She needed to feel alive and whole and complete. Callie was pushing her body up against hers and she felt herself being pushed back on the bed.

"No. I need to feel you,Callie. I need to touch you. I need you..." she trailed off when she felt tears running down her face. She felt Callie pull away and look at her. Her eyes were full of concern, but to Arizona's surprise, she didn't question anything. Her brown eyes searched her face before she leaned forward and lighly kissed a lone tear above the corner of her lip.

Callie kissed her lips softly and she felt the other woman shifting on the bed so that she could move to a sitting position.

She didn't waste any time in removing Callie's shirt completely and shoving her onto her back. Callie pulled her down on top of her as soon as the shirt left her body. Arizona's right leg was between her legs and was pressing hotly against her center. She crossed her legs over Arizona's and locked her ankles together to keep her in place.

The blonde was rocking against her as her right hand kneaded her left breast. She felt Arizona's fingers moving to the clasp at the front of her bra and, in one deft motion, the blonde had removed her from it.

She gasped into the smaller woman's mouth when she felt her fingers running along the underside of her breast. The blonde was forcing her tongue into her mouth and pressing her thigh against her sex. She struggled to breath against the onslaught of sensations. Arizona was frantic in her touch and her pace. Not that Callie was complaining. She was beyond arousal. Arizona was driving her towards the edge and it was all she could do to keep up. But, Callie did know something was different. She did know that something was bothering the other woman. She did know that Arizona had stopped kissing her lips and was dragging her tongue wetly down her neck and across her chest to her...

"Jesus...ohh, Ari..." She threw her head back on the pillow and moaned as Arizona's tongue licked roughly around her nipple before pulling back to slightly blow across it. Callie drew her legs, still locked at her ankles, up to increase the pressure between her legs. Her hands were pulling roughly on the blonde's hair as she felt herself starting to crest.

"You make me feel alive, Calliope." Arizona said, suddenly, against her lips. She felt the blonde pinching her nipple roughly. Callie's eyes were squeezed shut, but she could feel the blonde's smile against her neck when she moaned at the contact.

Arizona's hand moved farther south and made quick work of her of her pants and underwear. Callie helped in their removal as best as she could before locking her legs over Arizona's once more. The blonde leaned forward and kissed her passionately as her hand worked it's way down between their bodies.

"Ari..." Callie moaned as she spread her legs wider in accommodation. Her ankles were still locked together around the blonde's. Arizona took the invitation without hesitation and groaned when she felt the result of her actions. Callie was hot and warm and wet. So wet. Her fingers slid easily along the length of her girlfriend. She could hear Callie gasping and moaning and whispering her name. She could feel her hands in her hair tightening and pulling as she was overcome with the feelings the blonde was causing. Arizona leaned her head forward and let it drop into the crook of Callie's neck and shoulder. She could smell the woman's scent and it sent a jolt of pleasure down her body. Callie was sweating with exertion and the blonde couldn't stop herself from letting her tongue play along her neck so she could taste her.

She was alive. Arizona was alive, in this moment. She was alive and she was home. Every one of her senses was fully aware of the woman beneath her. Nothing else in the world mattered because the world was in Callie. Arizona could hardly understand everything she was feeling as the world, the outside world, seemed to stop and she let herself take in everything her senses were telling her.

Calliope Torres was perfection. She let her fingers dip low into the woman's sex. Her fingers were instantly covered in the dark skinned woman's arousal. Arizona moaned into Callie's neck as the hot essence of her lover coated her fingers. She dragged her fingers slowly back up and let them run hotly across Callie's clit. The wild buck of the hips beneath her let her know that her actions had been well received.

"Ari, oh God...Ari, Ari, Ari..." the woman's words played across Arizona's ear in a heavy, hot breath of a whisper. She continued to stimulate Callie by letting her fingers play across her clit. She made sure she let the other woman feel her heat on herself. Callie was panting and gasping into her ear and saying her name like mantra.

Finally, and without warning, Arizona slipped two long fingers fully into her lovers heat and instantly felt her fingers hugged tightly by hot, velvet walls. The walls made her feel safe and more alive than anything else in any other existence. She sighed as she kissed Callie's neck. Her fingers stilled briefly as she took in the moment. She loved this. She loved this feeling. She loved this woman. She loved feeling surrounded by her. Her fingers were encased in wetness up to her knuckles.

Callie's wetness was moving and pooling around her fingers as her walls tried to pull her in deeper. Slowly, she started to move her fingers inside the other woman. Callie gasped and moaned loudly. The hands in the blonde's hair were giving her a headache, but she didn't care. She pulled her fingers out slowly before pushing them quickly back into the wet heat. Once she felt Callie's hips start to meet her thrusts in a steady rhythm, she matched her pace and let the other woman ride her hand.

She was in heaven. Callie was grasping her tightly and panting heavily against her ear and moving her hips at such a pace the blonde had trouble keeping up. Arizona bit down on Callie's pulse point and proceeded to gently suck and lick the woman's skin as she felt her fingers gripped tightly. She knew Callie was close to orgasm, so she curled her fingers up suddenly and rubbed the spot deep inside her lover only she knew about. Using her legs between Callie's, she added the last bit of extra pressure the Latina needed to go over the edge.

"Fuuu-" the rest of the word was cut short as Callie's orgasm slammed into her full force. The waves crashed against her so powerfully, that everything blacked out briefly and the wind was knocked from her lungs. She turned her head to the right slightly ro drag her tongue along the shell of the blonde's ear as her lower body tightened around her lovers to ride out her release.

For a moment, Callie lost herself to the sensations. All that mattered was feeling Arizona on top of her and her fingers inside her. The world was perfect for a timeless moment and then, she was left trying to catch her breath as the body above hers went slack and she felt hot tears on her neck.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5:**

She was breathing heavily as she tried to get a hold on her emotions. Her heart was threatening to pound out of her chest and her throat was constricting in painful spasms. She could feel Callie running her hands through her hair and down her back in a comforting gesture.

This was too much. There were too many things fighting for attention in her mind. She was running the risk of having everything spin out of her control. Her tears were cooling in a pool on Callie's neck. She couldn't do this. She needed time to put some distance between herself and...everything.

"Arizona, please talk to me." The blonde stiffened at Callie's words. She wasn't ready to distance herself from the dark skinned woman. Not yet. Her senses were still surrounded by the other woman. Her fingers were still engulfed by her warmth. She wasn't ready to leave her home, her safety. She sighed against Callie's neck in an attempt to stall what she knew she needed to do.

_She_ had found Callie.

She had put Callie back together. She had been, and still was, Callie's 'good man in a storm'. The Latina didn't need someone who was broken. Arizona had run from her demons for two years. She'd tried to leave all the bad and the dark and the ugly behind so that she could start a new life and be a new person. She'd thought she was successful.

The blonde slowly removed her fingers from Callie. She was no longer safe. She was no longer warm, no longer alive. She could have cried. Again. She shifted and moved to a sitting position next to the raven haired woman she loved so much.

"Calliope-" Whatever else she was going to say was cut short by the sound of her pager going off. Karev. Her patient. Her reality.

"Umm, look, I've got to go." she said as she moved herself off the bed and towards the door of the on-call room.

"Arizona...can we, can we talk when you get home?" Callie's words shattered her heart into a million pieces. Home. She wouldn't be going home.

"Calliope, I'm going to-" she looked at the woman on the bed and felt herself die inside at her next words.

"I'm going to be getting my things and moving back to my place for a while"

"Ari-" Callie's dark eyes were wide as the blonde's words shook her very foundation.

"I've got to go." She left as quickly as she could to prevent Callie from talking her out of her decision. A part of her was screaming at her in an outrageously loud voice to talk to Callie. The other part of her was convincing her that she was doing the right thing. She was protecting Calliope. She was leaving so that her demons couldn't touch the woman she loved. She'd fixed Callie. She'd put her back together. She'd touched her. She'd loved her. She'd been alive through her.

_ "What are you doing?" Terri's words sounded hollow to her ears._

_Arizona lowered the set of cds in her hands to a box on the floor before turning to answer the woman._

_"I can't do this anymore, Terri. I can't be here" her voice was a harsh rasp against the silence of the room. She turned away from Terri and walked towards the closet and proceded to remove several items of her clothing._

_Terri didn't know what to say. She wasn't even sure what was going on. Releasing an unsteady breath, she stepped more fully into their bedroom before speaking again._

_"Zona, will you just stop and tell me what's going on? What's with all this stuff? What are you doing?"_

_"I've been offered a job. I'm taking it."_

_"Just like that? You weren't planning on running this by me? Where is this job?" Terri couldn't believe what she hearing. She knew that the two of them had been having problems with everything they'd been through the past several weeks, but she couldn't believe that Arizona would make such a drastic decision without talking to her first._

_"Seattle. I've been offered an attending position as head of the pediatrics department." Arizona slowed her movements briefly and caught her breath. She looked up with sad eyes and caught her expression mirrored on the face of the green-eyed woman sitting on their bed._

_"You're going to continue Peds? I didn't think you'd want to after-"_

_"It's where my strengths are and this is an attending position. I can't pass it up." Arizona took a deep breath and willed herself to continue packing her belongings._

_"Zona, I don't want to move to Seattle. I know you're wanting to get away from everything here after all we've been through, but I don't think running away is going to-"_

_"No, Terri, spare me, okay? I'm not...I'm not broken. You don't get to psychoanalyze me like I'm one of your patients. I can't stay here. I'm not...me anymore. Do you understand that? The person who was in love with you no longer lives in my body."_

_She heard Terri take in a sharp breath at her words. She hated that she was hurting the other woman, but she knew that they weren't ever going to be able to move on together. Not after everything that had happened._

_"Terri, I love you. I always will, but I'm not in love with you. Not anymore. We've been drifting away from each other for a while now and I-"_

_"We can find our way back to each other, Zona!" Terri exclaimed as her emotions overtook her and she began to cry._

_"No, we can't. Listen to me, Ter." The blonde moved to sit next to the brunette. Her right hand traced over the woman's full lips before moving down slightly so she could pull her face up to meet her eyes._

_"Terri, we've been together for seven years. I've loved every minute I've had with you. But, we're not each other's great love story. I thought we were, but we're not." She felt the other woman start to open her mouth to protest her words, but she silenced her with a finger to her lips._

_"If we were, Ter, we'd be able to pick up and move on and continue being us. I don't know how to be ME anymore, Terri. Two months ago, I buried my brother. My brother." Arizona heard her voice starting to shake as she spoke. The emotions from everything that had happened recently had left her feeling raw._

_"And, two weeks ago," her voice was barely a whisper. She was fighting with herself to say the rest of what she needed to say. She felt her bottom lip start to quiver as her vision blurred. Terri squeezed her knee in a gesture of comfort. The pain was still too near, too new for both of them._

_"Two weeks ago, Terri, we buried-"_

_"I know, Zona. I just think that we need to take some time to-" Arizona stood up suddenly and look down at Terri._

_"Now? Now, you want us to take time and think things through? Now, you want us to focus on us and our careers? Now, Terri? We're too late! Don't you see that?"_

_"Zona, please. We're still good together. We can fix this, fix us." Arizona turned her back on the woman and continued to pack her things. She kept her back turned as she spoke, "Terri, you're not coming with me to Seattle. I'm going to check things out, meet with the Chief of the hospital, and get a place. It'll be a bit before I'm expected to start. I need to do this. I need to find me, okay? I've lost myself._

_Terri felt lost. They couldn't be over. Not after everything they'd been through together. Her heart was fighting everything Arizona was saying, but her head was telling her the truth of the blonde's words. They'd grown apart. They were two different people now. They were over._

_"Zona? If I'm not the great love story of your life, I hope you find it in Seattle. I hope you find yourself, again." With that, the dark haired woman turned and left the room._

At first, Callie had been too shocked to say anything. Arizona's parting words had rocked her understanding of the universe. They went against everything the dark skinned woman knew about the blonde. Had Arizona broken up with her? Was she needing time to...damnit. What time did she need? What reason would she have for needing time? Callie had given up her dream for the blonde and the woman STILL left her? Callie couldn't reconcile things in her head.

She knew there was something, some vital piece of information, that she was missing. Nothing about their situation was making any amount of sense to her. She'd gone from being confused to down right pissed off for being left in the dark.

The ortho surgeon had composed herself before getting off the bed to find her pants on the floor. She was going to find Arizona and get some answers. This back and forth had gone on long enough.

"Alex? Have you seen Arizona?" Callie was relieved that she'd found the resident so quickly. She didn't want to hunt for her girlfriend all day in the halls of Seattle Grace Mercy West.

Alex glanced at her, a little shocked to see the attending at the hospital on her day off.

"Uh, yeah. I've been working with her on the ALL patient. She was going to go over the test results with the girl's parents. They're in room 5327."

Callie nodded her head in thanks and started towards the patient rooms.

"Oh, and tell your little girlfriend I'm not her whipping boy either. She can get you to get her coffee for her." Callie only scrunched her brows in confusion before making her way to room 5327.

"Melanie's hepatoblastoma isn't cancerous, which means that she won't have to go through adjuvant chemotherapy. With a complete resection, she's looking at an 80% disease-free survival rate. Her liver is still in pretty bad shape, and she'll have to continue her consolidation therapy afterward, but if all goes well, " Arizona paused and looked back at the small girl on the hospital bed, "If all goes well, Melanie's looking at a full recovery...on all fronts."

Jacob and Kimmy both let out collective breaths as they absorbed Arizona's words. Kimmy was fighting back tears and the urge to hug the blonde doctor's neck, while Jacob was squeezing his wife's hand in silent comfort.

"She's not out of the woods, yet, but children are resilient. Melanie's a fighter." She turned back towards the girl and smiled at her. The little girl smiled back and nodded her head at Arizona's words.

"Dr. Robbins says that as long I believe I'll be okay, I will be. She told me she was going to make sure I had a special...umm..." the girl's words trailed off as she tried to remember the words Arizona had spoken to her earlier.

"A special I.V bag that is full of magic fairy dust," the blonde finished for her. Melanie only nodded her head and smiled again. Jacob and Kimmy were watching with open smiles on their faces.

"You're great with her, Doctor Robbins" Kimmy said softly. "She trusts you. Your kids must actually like going to see the doctor." The woman said the last part in light and jovial tones, but the look on Arizona's face caused her to back peddle in an attempt to correct her, obvious, err.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to ups-"

"It's fine, Mrs. Travers," Arizona spoke quickly. Her smile was bright, but didn't meet her eyes. "If you have anymore questions, please feel free to ask Dr. Karev, okay? We'll schedule Melanie's surgery after we've monitored her a few hours, okay?"

With that, Arizona left the couple with their daughter. She realized that she hadn't eaten anything in several hours and if she was going to be going into surgery soon, she'd need to eat something. She was barely out of the patient's room when she spotted Callie coming towards her with a determined look on her face.

"Arizona, we need to talk" she said as she came to a stop in front of the peds surgeon.

Arizona wanted to bury her face in the crook of Callie's neck and breathe her in. She wanted to feel her lips on hers and taste her skin on her tongue. Everything in her was telling her that her comfort and her sanity was standing in the body of the woman in front of her. She wanted so much to lose herself in Callie, but she couldn't. Her sense of right and wrong wouldn't allow her to. Not now. She was doing the right thing.

"Calliope, there's nothing to talk about. Go home. I'll be by sometime to get my things. I've got surgery in a bit. I don't need this. Just...just go home" she said as she moved around the dark haired woman and walked down the hallway.


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6:**

She didn't know what to think. It had taken her several minutes to even blink as she had watched the retreating form of her girlfriend. Girlfriend. Were they even still together? How could Arizona tell her that they had nothing to talk about? They had plenty of things to talk about.

Her first instinct had been to go after the blonde and demand an explanation. She was getting way past annoyed at being kept in the dark. The longer she had stood in the hallway, the more she'd realized that getting into an argument with the blonde doctor before she was due in surgery was not the best of ideas. As much as she wanted an answer, she knew that emotional distress was the last thing Arizona and her patient needed.

In the end, she'd decided to confront the blonde when she came by to get her things. Thinking about that prospect left her stomach in knots. She couldn't imagine sleeping alone in their bed. The thought of not falling asleep with the smaller woman seemed unimaginable to her. Arizona had become vital to her in all aspects of her life. Callie couldn't let her run away from her any longer. She needed the blonde. It was that simple. Sighing deeply, she turned and headed for the exit of the hospital.

* * *

As she entered her apartment, she heard the phone ringing. Kicking the door shut with her right foot, she rushed to the sofa to grab the phone where it was tucked between the cushions and arm rest.

'_Cristina'_ she thought briefly before answering the phone.

"Callie? I'm sorry to bother you at home, hon. I was trying to reach Arizona. She's not answered her cell phone in a few days and I was starting to worry. Is everything alright?"

Callie knew the voice on the other end. It was Diedre Robbins, Arizona's mother. She'd spoken with the woman several times, though the two of them had yet to actually meet in person. Callie had instantly liked the older Robbins. She was kind, accepting, supportive, funny and wickedly witty. She couldn't understand why Arizona would be avoiding her mother's phone calls. It wasn't like her.

"Mrs. Robbins, umm, hi. Arizona's at the hospital, actually. She hasn't been answering your calls?"

"No, I was hoping you'd be able to shed some light on why. She normally calls me everyday, you know that. Are you two okay?"

Leave it to Diedre to hit the nail on the head. Callie didn't know what to tell the other woman, because she herself didn't know if they were okay. A small part of her felt slightly alleviated at knowing she wasn't the only person whom Arizona had been avoiding. It assured her that she was right. There was something going on with the blonde that was being kept from her.

"Callie?" she heard Diedre question her silence and knew she needed to tell her something. Anything.

"We're, uhh, we're...I'm, I'm not sure how we are to be honest" she replied with a heavy sigh.

"We've been arguing. I want kids, a family and a future. She wants beaches, foreign countries and strong alcoholic beverages."

There was a heavy silence on the other end of the line. Callie thought for a moment that the call had been disconnected, but then she heard Mrs. Robbins speaking to her in slow and soft tones.

"How did you expect her to react, hon?"

The question knocked Callie for a loop. What kind of question was that? She expected Arizona to say yes and for them to whip out the turkey baster and do whatever lesbians did with those things. She expected forever and commitment. She expected a family.

"I-" she let out a nervous chuckle. She wasn't sure how to answer. The answer seemed obvious. "I expected her to want the same things I wanted. I thought-I thought we wanted the same future. She's been so distant with me and I don't know-"

"Callie," Diedra said as she cut Calliope off mid rant. "How did you expect her to react after everything that happened with Terri? With...with Hannah?" Diedre's voice broke slightly on the last name, as if she was remembering a painful memory.

Callie didn't know what to say. Mrs. Robbins was speaking of this Terri and Hannah as if she should know who they were. Were they patients? Exes? Did Arizona lose sisters as well as a brother? It aggravated her that there were large pieces of Arizona's past and her life that she didn't know about. The blonde had never really spoken about herself in depth. She had always seemed far more interested in learning about Callie.

"Mrs. Robbins? Who are Terri and Hannah?" she asked nervously.

Again, the silence on the other end was deafening. Cacophonous silence. It hung between the two woman like a thick mist.

"Callie, hon, I think you need to talk to Arizona. I'm not really the one to tell you this. You'll understand where she's coming from when you know about-"

"Diedra," Callie exclaimed in a harsher voice than she had intended. "Mrs. Robbins, please tell me. I feel like I'm falling out of touch with her. She's so evasive with me."

"I'm sorry, Callie. I-I can't. Talk to Arizona. Ask her about Terri. Ask her about Hannah." With that, the older Robbins cut off the conversation and Callie was left with more questions than answers.

* * *

_ "So, you're set up then?' Terri asked._

_Arizona walked around her living room placing books from a box on a nearby shelf. The phone was resting between her ear and shoulder and she sighed before answering._

_"Yep, I started two weeks ago. The people seem...interesting. Dr. Bailey is going to take an extra bit of sunshine to placate, but overall, I think I'll like it."_

_"Let me guess, you're just now actually doing any real unpacking?" Terri asked and Arizona could imagine the other woman smirking on the other end of the phone._

_The blonde laughed and sat down on the couch. She ran ran the fingers of her right hand through her hair._

_"You know me too well, Ter." She regretted the words as soon as they left her mouth._

_"I should, Zona. I miss you. Can't you find yourself already and come back to me?"_

_Arizona felt her stomach drop. She hated that she was the cause of Terri's suffering. The woman had done nothing but love her for seven years. They'd met when Arizona was still in med school. She'd been 23 at the time and the older woman had fascinated her to no end. It was an unavoidable attraction._

_For two years, the two of them had been the perfect, happy couple. It wasn't until years later, that Arizona would find herself drifting farther and farther away from the green-eyed woman. She hated herself for not being able to feel what she had once felt for Terri, but she knew she couldn't pretend and hope for the best._

_"Terri, I've met someone."_

_There was a long pause before,"Wow, didn't take you long, Zona."_

_"Yeah, well, I'm trying to push forward, Terri." She knew she wasn't telling Terri the full truth. She'd only just met Calliope Torres. After hearing about her from several people around the hospital, Arizona had finally spoken face to face with the dark skinned woman tonight at Joe's. Talked and kissed. She still couldn't believe that she'd been so bold, but there was something about the woman that Arizona found hard to resist._

_"Who is she, Zona? Tell me about her. Is she your "great love story"?"_

_"Her name is Callie. She's an ortho specialist at the hospital and-" she paused as she considered her next words carefully._

_"And, she's got something about her that I find endearing. I think she and I are supposed to be something for each other. I'm not sure what that something is, but I feel like I can breathe when I think about her. She's my air, Terri. She has the ability to breathe new life into me."_

* * *

Arizona paused at the door to Callie's apartment. She felt like she was being controlled by someone other than herself. She didn't want to leave Callie. She didn't want to sleep alone tonight. She didn't want to suffocate without the other woman.

'_Then don't_' her inner voice screamed at her. She sighed. She didn't have a choice. Calliope deserved someone who could give her everything that she couldn't. She didn't want Callie to want for anything. The woman deserved everything.

She was shocked that Callie had not stayed at the hospital or confronted her about her parting words. She had expected it. As she'd left Callie standing in the hallway, her only thoughts were to keep putting one foot in front of the other, breathe in, breathe out.

Melanie's surgery had gone well. She'd been able to do a complete resection of the tumor. At one point, she'd thought she would lose the small child due to a bleeder. She'd caught herself chanting softly under her breath at one point as she fought to get the bleeding under control.

_"Come on, Hannah. Come on, come on. Fight, baby, fight"_

When Karev had given her a questioning look and informed her that the patient's name was Melanie, she'd snapped at him and told him to leave her O.R.

Arizona shook the memories from her mind as she used her key and let herself into the apartment. The sooner this was over with, the better. When she walked in and saw Callie sitting on the couch with no sign of Cristina or even Owen, she knew things were going to be anything but easy tonight.

Callie looked up at her arrival and moved off the couch to stand in front of Arizona. She was a breath away from the blonde and her perfume invaded Arizona's senses like an intoxicating drug. Against her will, the blonde found herself leaning forward to bury her face in Callie's hair. She breathed deeply and felt herself becoming lightheaded.

The control the dark haired woman had over her body was unnerving. She felt Callie bring her hands up to her hair and bury them in curly locks. Callie pulled her head back softly to look at her before bringing her lips up to meet her own. Her lips barely touched Arizona's. It was more for the closeness than for anything resembling passion. Callie lightly kissed her top lip as she let her nose rub softly against the blonde's.

Arizona felt Callie pull away slightly. For a moment, she missed the contact, but she soon felt Callie's fingers playing softly along her lips. She had not been expecting this reception when she'd entered the apartment. She had expected Callie to be angry. She'd expected questions. At the very least, she'd expected flying dishes and rants in Spanish. She had not expected gentle kisses and feather light touches.

She knew she needed to put a stop to things. She wasn't here for this. She was leaving this woman, her love. She brought her hands up and placed them on Callie's wrists.

"Calliope-" she breathed against Callie's fingertips.

"Who are Terri and Hannah?" she heard Callie ask softly. She pulled back sharply and looked at Callie. The other woman looked nervous, curious and scared. Her eyes were dark as she looked at the blonde.

"Where did you-" she stopped herself. She wasn't going to drag Calliope into her pain. She didn't know how the woman had heard those names, but she wasn't going to open up old wounds for the sake of satisfying Callie's curiosity.

"You know what, I'll just get my things another time." With that, the blonde turned from Callie's embrace and left the apartment.

The dark skinned woman sighed. "Shit"


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7:**

It had been three days since she'd asked Arizona about Terri and Hannah. Three days of confusion, misery, heartache, and lonely nights. She'd not had a solid night's rest since Arizona had stormed out of her apartment. The one thing Callie did know was that whatever was bothering, and had been bothering, Arizona had to do with this Terri and Hannah.

She'd tried to call Arizona, naturally. The blonde ignored her phone calls. She left messages that were never returned. Callie had even tried to call Mrs. Robbins in the hopes of getting the woman to let on what she knew. Diedre had been just as evasive as her daughter and, in the end, Callie was still left in the dark on the whole situation.

The hospital proved to be larger than Callie had ever really given it credit. She'd once joked with Arizona about it having plenty of places to hide with lots of floors. She'd not realized at the time how accurate her jest had been. The blonde was doing a stand up job at hiding from her. Callie had hoped to see the peds attending in the cafeteria. but for three days she'd ended up eating lunch alone with no sign of Arizona.

When she'd gone to the peds ward repeatedly, the nurses had told her that Arizona was on rounds, with a patient or in surgery. She knew, as a doctor herself, that time could be hard to come by, but she also knew that Arizona was spending her time in a way that let her avoid Callie.

The ortho rockstar had never felt so depressed. When she'd found out about George and Izzie, she'd felt like her world was falling apart. When Erica had walked out of her life, she'd felt like her world was caving in on her. But, not being able to see or speak with Arizona for three days had left Callie feeling like her world had imploded, shattered, and exploded all at the same time. Nothing made sense to her anymore. Her days were spent doing her job and doing it well. Her nights were spent wondering and questioning and crying before finally falling into a fitful sleep while her dreams were filled with memories of Arizona.

She stared up at her ceiling as she laid in bed. Tomorrow would be four days since she'd seen Arizona. Four days since she'd kissed her, felt her body against hers and heard that sweet, musical voice say her name. She had hoped that if she gave the blonde space, she'd be rewarded when Arizona finally came back to her and told her whatever it was she was keeping from her. She'd been wrong. Arizona seemed perfectly fine to continue ignoring and avoiding her. Callie felt lost.

She let her thoughts drift to happier times with the blonde. Good times. Perfect moments. Their moments.

_"So, you make a habit of kissing strange women in dirty bathroom bars?" she asked with a light laugh._

_The blonde smiled at her and Callie let herself get lost in sparkling blue eyes and adorable dimples._

_"Well, I wouldn't say it's a habit, really. More of a compulsion. And there haven't been any other women I've kissed in dirty bathroom bars. You're the first, Calliope Torres."_

_Arizona looked at her and cocked her head to the side before she spoke again. "Besides, you really weren't understanding what I was trying to tell you. I had to do something to get your attention. I had to make you see me." The last bit was said in a low voice as she lowered her eyes from Callie's dark gaze._

_The two of them were having dinner as planned. After being initially confused by Callie's reluctance, Arizona had been more than thrilled when the dark haired woman had stopped the elevator doors from closing and agreed to have dinner with her. Now, they sat in an upscale restaurant talking, laughing and getting to know one another._

_"You had my attention from the minute you walked in the bathroom. I-I thought you were the most beautiful woman I'd ever seen." Callie laughed nervously as she stared at Arizona's face for any negative reaction to her words. The blonde just continued to smile at her._

_"I was just embarrassed that you saw me in the state you did. I couldn't believe that you were really interested in me. You could have just been being nice to someone, you know?"_

_"So, you played dumb so I'd kiss you? You always make a habit of doing that so you'll be kissed in dirty bar bathrooms?" Arizona asked her as she laughed._

_Callie took a drink from the wine glass in front of her and smiled back at the blonde._

_"Well, it worked, didn't it?" The two of them laughed. The rest of their dinner was spent in mutual satisfaction. Callie had never been able to talk to someone as easily as she did with Arizona. She'd known that night that the blonde was someone special. She had picked Callie up off the floor and made her feel human again._

Callie felt herself smiling at the memory of their first date. She'd been nervous about getting out on the whole dating scene again, but more nervous to be out with a woman. After Erica's departure, she'd finally admitted to herself that she was attracted to women. It was no longer a singular kind of thing like she'd tried to convince herself was the case with Erica. Going out with Arizona had been a new step for her. The blonde doctor was not confused or experimenting. She was a lesbian. She knew herself and was comfortable. That had been intimidating to Callie.

She felt hot tears slowly start to fall down her cheeks the more she thought of Arizona. Everything with the blonde headed woman had been new and exciting and perfect. Arizona had opened up her world. She had brought her back to life and made that life beautiful. Callie didn't think she would be the person she was today were it not for Arizona.

_She was tired. Some weeks seemed to be longer than others when one worked in a hospital. This week was shaping up to be one of those weeks. Callie felt like she'd spent more time at the hospital than she had anywhere else. Every minute of her time seemed to be taken up by patients and surgeries. To top things off, her father was supposed to be visiting today._

_She sighed as she continued walking up the stairs. As she turned to head up the second fligt of stairs, a bouncy Arizona blocked her path. She looked up in time to see Arizona smiling at her. The blonde grabbed the lapels of her jacket before bringing her head down so that her lips could meet Callie's. The dark haired woman instantly felt her worries start to fade away. Arizona pulled back slightly to smile at her again. She leaned in to briefly kiss Callie's lips a second time._

_Calliope was amazed at the affect the blonde had on her. It was as if Arizona knew that she was upset and feeling trepidation at her father's pending arrival. The kiss had been soft and sweet and playful. It had let Callie know that Arizona was there for her._

_The blonde released her jacket and smiled once more at her. Callie felt herself leaning into the other woman before she regained control of her senses. She opened her eyes and felt a smile tugging at her lips. Arizona was looking at her with a mischievous glint in her eyes._

_"Don't look so smug" she told the blonde._

_"Me? I'm sure I don't know what you're talking about." Arizona smiled again, more fully this time, and Callie was rewarded with a flash of dimples._

_"Your dimples make me sick...just to let you know." She moved past the blonde and continued up the stairs. As she rounded the corner, she heard Arizona laughing as she descended to the lower levels of the hospital. The day, suddenly, didn't seem so bad after all_.

She needed to stop doing this to herself. Thinking of Arizona and better times between them wasn't helping her at all. It only intensified the pain she was already feeling. How had things ended up the way they had? They had been so happy. She'd never felt so optimistic in all her life than when she was with the blonde. Everyday was perfect because she'd found her soul mate. She had been complete and she'd been truly, utterly happy. The thought of never feeling that sense of contentment again made her want to die. She felt as if her insides were being hollowed out. She couldn't live like this. The blonde made her who she was. She was the other half to her soul. She was her heart and her heart could only ever beat for Arizona. Without her, Callie wasn't really alive. She couldn't go on without her.

_"I'm scared."_

_"You don't have to be. It's just me, Calliope. It's just us." Arizona softly pushed her hair out of her face and held her head in her hands. She kissed the tip of Callie's nose lightly._

_"We don't have to do anything you're not ready for. We can take it slow. Just tell me to stop and I will." She let her hands run through Callie's thick black hair. Her hands ran down her neck and over her shoulders before coming to rest on the straps of Callie's dress._

_She looked up into Callie's eyes in silent question. The other woman released an unsteady breath before nodding her head slightly._

_Arizona's hands were shaking as she slowly pulled the straps over Callie's shoulders. She was scared, too. Nervous. She couldn't let Callie know how new this was to her. For seven years, Arizona had slept with the same woman. Sure, she'd had other girlfriends before Terri, but this was different. She didn't know Callie's body like she'd known Terri's. It had been a long time since she'd made love to another woman. After seven years with Terri, Arizona had become complacent. Anyone would have._

_She didn't want to mess anything up with Calliope. They'd been dating for a few months and in that time, Arizona had never felt more alive. The weight of the world and it's problems didn't seem to touch her when she was with Callie. She could breathe and the air was sweet._

_"You amaze me, Calliope. I love the way you feel." She felt as if she was in a trance. Her hands were tracing over the other woman's chest in a light pattern. She could hear Callie's breathing starting to quicken._

_"You're so beautiful" With that, Arizona pulled the straps completely off Callie's shoulders and lowered the dress until it came to bunch at the dark skinned woman's waist. She heard herself take a sharp breath at the sight before her. Never had she imagined that Callie could take her breath away anymore than she already did. Arizona was amazed. She was in awe. She was staring at perfection and it made her heart catch._

_Callie looked nervously at Arizona when she heard her sharp intake of breath._

_"Arizona?" she asked in a shaky voice. The blonde kissed her suddenly. It was the most passionate kiss she'd experienced with the blonde to date. It took her own breath away. Arizona's lips were assaulting her own and her tongue was playing roughly inside her mouth. She felt as if her breath, her air, was being stolen by the blonde. Her body was on fire._

_"Calliope, if you want me to stop, you need to tell me. I don't think I'll be able to before much longer. I want you." She kissed her again. "I want you" she whispered against her lips_

_Callie didn't know what changed, but she found that she was no longer scared. She was no longer nervous. She wanted Arizona. She needed her. She could tell by the look in Arizona's eyes and the longing in her kiss, that she needed Callie as much as Callie needed her. They were meant to be, to exist in this one moment._

_"I want you, too, Arizona." She grabbed handfuls of Arizona's dress at her hips and pulled the material up. Arizona gasped into her mouth at the sudden change in Callie. Before she could react, she felt Callie lifting her off the floor. Instinctively, Arizona wrapped her legs around the other woman and leaned down to hotly kiss her. She left her tongue dip in and out of Callie's mouth._

_"Calliope" she whispered as her hands dug into Callie's hair. "Make love to me. Make love to me..."_

Callie shook the memories away, again. She didn't need to remember that particular memory tonight. She sighed and rolled out of bed. This was bull shit. If Arizona was breaking up with her, the least she could was tell her. She needed answers. Even if she didn't like the answers, she still needed something so she could move on. Or attempt to move on. With that thought, she made a decision.

* * *

"I'm coming! Stop with the banging, already." Arizona didn't know who was loudly knocking on her door in the middle of the night, but it was quickly starting to annoy her. Without checking to see who was outside her apartment, she threw the door open in an attempt to silence the offensive pounding.

"Calliope?"

The other woman didn't wait for an invitation before she came barging into the blonde's apartment. She looked tired and unkempt and Arizona thought she was breathtaking.

"You're talking to me. Now. I don't care what it is you have to say. I'm not leaving until you tell me what's been going on with you."

Arizona sighed. She knew she couldn't run from things forever. It looked like her demons had finally caught up with her. She had nowhere else to run. She was trapped.


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8:**

She hated herself. Never in her life had she felt so despondent. Each breath had been a struggle as she'd walked farther and farther away from Callie's apartment. Her stomach had been twisting and turning in knots and her legs had felt like led. That small voice in the back of her mind had, repeatedly, been calling her an idiot and the instrument of her own sorry state of affairs. She'd ignored the voice and continued walking.

Over the next several days, she'd buried herself in her work. The Traver's case had gone far better than she'd ever prayed to hope. Melanie had come through the surgery and gone into recovery and Arizona had been beyond relieved. She was supposed to release the child the next day so that she could continue her consolidation therapy. Arizona had done her job. She had saved her. She'd made sure that the young girl would have a chance at a life. A future.

As she sat in her apartment, drinking her 3rd shot of Charbay clear vodka, she let her mind drift.

_"What are you doing? You'll...you're going to get the chicken pox." Callie said in a small voice heavy from sleep._

_Arizona settled down snug behind her and wrapped her body around the dark skinned woman._

_"So, I get the chicken pox." she said as she leaned down to inhale the scent pf the other woman that drove her crazy before turning so she could kiss the side of Callie's head._

_Arizona had hated lying to the other woman. She hadn't even really meant to. It had been defensive. Callie's illness was not life threatening. She would have been fine. She was fine. Arizona had reacted to the other woman being sick. She had panicked. The blonde headed woman didn't react well to any type of sickness that affected her loved ones. She couldn't watch someone she loved, someone she was crazy about, lie in a hospital bed and be in any kind of discomfort. She'd been down that road before._

She threw her had back as she downed a 4th shot of vodka. The fiery beverage burned a path down her throat. She wasn't normally a person who drowned her sorrows in a $40 bottle of alcohol, but tonight she found comfort in the clear liquid. Her world no longer made sense. Everything was crashing and falling apart around her. She couldn't make heads or tails of the situation.

She'd run for so long. For almost two years, she'd tried to be a different person. She'd tried to create a new life. A life that couldn't be touched by her past. A past that was forever tarnished. For over a year of that time, she'd found hope and love and joy and perfection in one, Calliope Torres-her heart, her soul, her air, her foundation. Her Calliope. And now, now she had thrown all of that away because she'd been too scared to let the other woman in.

She laughed to herself as she poured another shot into the tumbler. She was sitting on the floor between her coffee table and her wrap around couch. All around her were pictures. Pictures of another time. Another life. They sat atop the coffee table in haphazard piles and all along the floor next to the blonde's body.

The pictures all showed the same three people. One of those people was tall with a runner's build, penetrating emerald green eyes, long dark brown hair, and the most perfect smile a person could ever ask for. The second was small, only a few years old, with light brown hair, cerulean blue eyes, and cute dimples adorning her cheeks. A third person could be seen in a few of the photos. Her blonde curls, blue eyes and perky cute smile gave her an all-American girl kind of look.

Arizona picked up the picture closest to her and let her fingers run lightly over the beautiful face smiling up at her. She saw herself in that face. So much of herself. The tears came suddenly and without warning. Tossing the picture on the table in front of her, Arizona finished her drink and let her mind, once again, drift.

_"How does Little Grey know about your birthday and I don't?"_

_"Birthday's are just days like any other days. Don't like them, don't celebrate them. No big deal..."_

_She'd been a little worried when the topic had come up, but had been relieved and proud of herself for having had bypassed the conversation as skillfully as she had. There was a reason she didn't like birthdays. There was a reason she no longer celebrated them. Her birthday had started off on a horrible note with Wallace dying. Coming home to a room full of people who wanted to celebrate her birth had been too much. Wallace would not be celebrating anymore birthdays. It had brought up painful memories. Memories of another small child who no longer celebrated birthdays..._

Arizona pushed herself up off the floor in an effort to shake the memories from her mind's eye. Her birthday had ended on a better note than it had begun. She'd finally been able to take the leap and tell Callie that she was in love with her. She'd been so nervous her finger tips had been tingling. Her heart had raced in her chest as she'd offered it to the other woman. It had been a huge step forward for the two of them and Arizona had been on cloud nine.

She walked into her kitchen and sat the bottle of vodka on the counter. She was tired and emotionally drained. The alcohol wasn't helping as much as she'd hoped. As she headed towards her bedroom, she prayed that sleep would come quickly so she could just forget...everything.

_"Make love to me" she whispered against Callie's lips._

_Callie pulled back and lowered the smaller woman to the bed. She removed the dress from her body and kneeled on the floor before the blonde. Arizona's eyes were tracking her every move. Callie thought she looked stunning as her arousal showed plainly across her features. She reached up and around the blonde until her fingers found the top of the zipper to Arizona's dress._

_Leaning forward on her knees, she let her tongue lick a slow, wet path from Arizona's chin and jaw to her left ear. Her fingers made easy work of relieving the blonde of her dress. The smaller woman's hands were tangled roughly in her hair._

_Callie softly nipped the blonde's ear as she pulled back to take her first look at the woman who had so captured her senses._

_"Wow" she said softly in an awed tone. She laughed nervously to herself, as was her habit, as her eyes looked on hungrily at the blonde's exposed skin._

_"Arizona, you're gorgeous." she said. "Damn, I want you"_

_The blonde leaned forward so she could wrap her hands around Callie's neck. She let her lips linger a breath away from the other woman's._

_"You have me, Calliope." She smiled as she pulled away and leaned back on the bed. Callie took in the view before her with wanton lust. Arizona spread her legs before the dark skinned woman before speaking once more._

_"So, take me."_

* * *

The noise was persistent. The harder she tried to block it out, the louder it seemed to become. She'd been dreaming. The dream was fading like wisps of smoke to the far recesses of her mind. Her body could still feel Callie's lips on her skin. She could still hear Callie's soft whispers and taste her tongue in her mouth. The dream had been so vivid and now...

"I'm coming! Stop with the banging, already!" she said as she rolled out of her bed and away from her dreams. She stumbled out of her bedroom, down the hall, and across the living room. The pounding on her front door had not slowed and it was quickly pissing her off.

Throwing the door open with a jerk, she was surprised to see the object of her dreams standing outside. Callie looked beautiful, even in her upset and exhausted state.

"Calliope?" she asked in a confused voice.

The other woman barely looked at her as she pushed past her and stormed into her apartment. Closing the door behind her, Arizona turned to confront Callie, but was beat to the punch.

"You're talking to me. Now. I don't care what it is you have to say. I'm not leaving until you tell me what's been going on with you."

Arizona sighed. She knew she couldn't run from things forever. It looked like her demons had finally caught up with her. She had nowhere else to run. She was trapped.

"Calliope. You need to leave. It's late." Arizona moved to step past Callie, but was stopped by a hand on her arm.

"Arizona! If you're breaking up with me have the decency to tell me. I've been dying the last few days wondering what went wrong, what happened. I've tried to get you to talk to me, but you've just shut me out. I've questioned and re-questioned myself to the point that I feel like I'm going crazy."

"Calliope-"

"I love you. I-I didn't think I could be so happy. You found me, Ari. You made me whole. I was yours. I am yours. Now, you're just wanting to break up with me after mind blowingly awesome sex and for what!"

"Calliope, there are things about me that you don't understand. Things that-"

"Help me to understand, Arizona! How am I supposed to understand anything if you shut me out of everything?"

"I can't do this. I'm tired and I...please, Calliope, just go home." Arizona pulled her arm free from Callie's grip and stepped around her. She paused briefly behind her couch when she noticed the pictures still sitting on the coffee table and on the surrounding floor.

Callie followed her gaze and bent down to pick up a photo lying at her feet. The woman in the picture was unbelievably beautiful. Her brown hair was pulled up in a high ponytail that showed off her stunning features. Green eyes were light with laughter and the woman's arms were held tightly around another woman who Callie knew all too well.

She looked at the two women in the photograph and felt her throat constrict painfully. They were happy. They were in love. The happiness was mirrored in both of their smiles. Callie thought the green eyed woman's smile was a little too perfect, but she dismissed the point as moot.

"Calliope" Arizona's voice seemed to come to her from far away. She looked up and realized that the blonde was standing in front of her, effectively blocking her view of the other pictures behind her.

"So, this is it huh? You've met someone else? How long-" her voice caught in her throat as she fought to keep her voice steady. "How long have you been-"

"Calliope, let me explain."

"Explain what, Arizona? Explain how you lied to me? How you used me? Cheated on me? God, how could you do something like that after what I went through with George?" She couldn't seem to make the situation real. Her mind was reeling. She'd thought she could handle any explanation, but not this one. Not this one.

She took a step away from Arizona and looked back down at the photo in her right hand.

"Calliope-"

"You found me, Ari. You helped me find myself. I thought you were my one and only. You were supposed to be different. I wish I could hate you...that-that this d-d-didn't hurt so much." Her tears were falling freely and she found that it was becoming increasingly difficult to speak. Arizona moved closer to her, but she took another step back.

"Don't." She took a deep, shuddering breath before continuing. "Who is she? Terri? Hannah? How many do you have, anyways? Does Terri know about Hannah? Does Hannah know about Terri? God, who are you?"

"You know _nothing_" Arizona said in a low voice. Her eyes were staring at Callie with an almost deadly intent. "You understand nothing, Callie."

"Then, enlighten me, Arizona. "

"I...I can't." The blonde said as she turned her back on the other woman to try and regain her composure.

She heard Callie let out a low laugh. "How fucking convenient for you. Maybe I just need to call this Terri or Hannah and tell them about each other. Maybe then I'd get some answers from you. You never tell me anything-"

"Shut up-" the blonde said vehemently as she turned back around to face Callie.

"Then TELL ME, Arizona. Who is Terri? Who is Hannah?" The blonde came up to her so fast, Callie wasn't even sure if she had seen her move. She was in her face and breathing heavily.

"You want to know who they are? You want to know who Hannah is?"

"YES!" Callie yelled.

The blonde stepped back and looked into the dark haired woman's eyes. Her hands were steepled together in front of her face while her fingers were pressed into her top lip. Callie noticed that Arizona was shaking. Her hands were trembling and she was pacing a short path in front of her.

The blonde removed her hands from in front of her face and they came to rest on her hips. She continued to stare at Callie.

"I love you." she said softly. "You are my reason for existing. You're my sanity, Calliope. I'm...fragmented without you. I'm-I-I'm not me when I'm not with you. I'm not able to function in your absence."

"Ari-"

"You want to know who Terri is? Who H-hannah is? Fine, but you will not stand there and doubt that I'm in love with you. You'll not come into my apartment at two in the morning and accuse me of cheating on you. You don't get to attack me because you know nothing, Calliope. You know nothing. But, you will."

She turned around and picked up a picture from the coffee table. She looked at it for long moments before turning around and handing the picture to Callie.

Callie didn't know what to think. Somehow, this conversation had gotten out of her control. Somehow, she'd stepped into something more painful for the blonde than she'd suspected.

She gingerly took the proffered picture and looked down at it. The same green eyed woman was in this photo as had been in the one she'd seen earlier. Her hair was down and fell about her shoulders in lush waves. She was holding a small girl who looked to be two to three years of age. The girl made Callie do a double take. She had light brown hair and amazing light blue eyes. She was smiling widely at the camera and Callie could see dimples on her rosy cheeks.

At first, Callie thought she was looking at a picture of a young Arizona, but she quickly dismissed that idea. That was impossible. Arizona didn't have brown hair and there was no way the woman in the photo could look the same in both pictures.

Arizona watched Callie and the emotions that flittered across her beautiful face. She could tell the other woman was trying to make sense of what she was seeing. She was trying to figure out who the two people in the picture were and how they fit into everything else.

"The woman is Terri. She's my ex. I was with her for a long time before I met you."

Callie looked up from where her gaze had been on the photo and met Arizona's eyes. They were pained. Haunted. Scared.

"Who's the little girl, Ari?" she asked softly. She suspected the answer, but she needed the blonde to confirm it. She felt as if she'd be sick.

Arizona wrapped her arms around herself and let out a deep breath. She closed her eyes for a moment before opening them to look at Callie.

"That's Hannah. She is...she was my daughter."

Callie heard herself make a sound deep in the back of her throat.


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9:**

"Your...your daughter?" She looked back down to the photo in her hand and still she couldn't make the situation real in her head. Her lungs seemed to have stopped processing her air and her throat was intent on crushing in on her windpipe. The more she looked at the small child in the picture, the more she could see her Arizona in the girl's features.

Arizona was a mother. She had a child. A daughter. She had a beautiful little girl with her amazing blue eyes and adorable dimples. Arizona was a mother. There was no mistaking her as the child's birth mother. Callie couldn't believe the truth of it. She looked back up and realized that Arizona had not spoken. She was staring at Callie with a lost expression. Her arms were still wrapped tightly around herself as if she were trying to keep the proverbial storm from assaulting her small frame.

Callie looked down at the picture one more time before returning her gaze to the blonde. She didn't know what to feel. A part of her was angry, furious, at Arizona for not telling her about this part of herself. They'd been dating for over a year. She couldn't believe that the smaller woman had kept something so important from her. The other part of her was amazed. Arizona was a mother. She couldn't stop the thought from running over and over again in her mind. She felt her full lips curling into a smile. The beautiful little girl in the picture was a part of Arizona. Her Arizona.

Arizona had a daughter. How could that be possible? How did she not know anything about it? How had Arizona gone for so long without seeing the small child? Did her ex, Terri, have custody? How could the blonde let her daughter go so easily? Did she not miss her? There were too many questions.

"Calliope"

She vaguely heard the blonde say her name but her mind was racing. She didn't know Arizona at all. The reality of that realization made her stomach sink. The past year with the peds surgeon seemed to be a fallacy. What was real? Who was the woman in front of her that had so ensnared her. The questions running through her mind slowed for an instant and Callie remembered Arizona saying something.

_"That's Hannah. She is...she was my daughter."_

She cornered the blonde with her eyes and held up the picture so Arizona could see it. The smaller woman inhaled sharply and Callie saw tears well up in her blue eyes. Her arms hugged herself more tightly.

"Where is she, Ari? How could you keep something like this from me?" She stepped closer to the woman in an attempt to bridge the gap, both physical and emotional, between them.

"Calliope...please-"

"Does Terri have her? I can tell you're her birth mother, Arizona. She's a mini you. She is gorgeous." she said in a breathy chuckle. "When was the last time you saw her?" Callie stepped in front of the blonde and looked intently at her. Arizona refused to meet her gaze and continued to hug herself.

"It's been a long time since I saw her, Calliope. You have no idea how much I wish that I could see her, hold her, f-f-feel her arms around my neck." Callie saw the tears falling but before she could say or do anything, Arizona had turned and headed in the direction of her bedroom.

She looked briefly at the other pictures scattered across Arizona's sitting area before following the blonde to her room.

"Talk to me. There's something you're not telling me. Obviously, there's a lot you've not told me. I was wrong to jump the gun and assume you were cheating on me like George...but, Ari? I love you. I love you so much and I want to know everything about you." Arizona was standing at the foot of her bed with her back to the dark haired woman. Callie could tell she was crying. She walked up behind the blonde and placed her hand on her shoulder.

"Please, please talk to me. Tell me why you can't see her, baby."

Arizona turned to face Callie and took a deep breath. She let her fingers play along the lapels of Callie's jacket as she tried to order her thoughts. She didn't want to talk about this. She didn't want to have to face the tiny coffins and the heartache and the sorrow. Callie had kept most of those things away for so long. She had allowed for Arizona to be free, to be alive, to be different. She'd been able to run, but now, Callie was standing in front of her demanding an explanation. She was standing in her room wanting to know about the demons that haunted Arizona's steps.

The blonde took another deep breath before looking up at the beautiful woman in front of her. Callie smiled softly at her and squeezed her arm in comfort.

"Hannah was diagnosed with acute lymphoblastic leukemia when she was three. I had just started my peds fellowship and when Terri and I found out, we thought we had been lucky enough to catch it early."

Arizona felt her emotions trying to get the better of her. Talking so openly about her daughter and her illness and her past was playing havoc on her emotional stability. Callie was watching her with deep brown eyes and the blonde felt the walls she'd built start to crumble. She continued to speak in a slow and unsteady tone.

"My attending...started Hannah on the standard treatment. For almost two years, we waited for results. For two years, we waited for...Hannah to go into remission. She should have. We caught everything early enough. She had a 90% survival rate, Calliope. 90%. A few days before her fifth birthday, Hannah...die- passed away. She died two months after my brother.

Arizona brought her hands to her face and covered her mouth as a loud gasp escaped her mouth followed by an even louder sob. The tears running down her face were heavy on her cheeks. The more she tried to breathe past the tears, the harder she cried. Everything was out. Callie knew. Arizona had made her past a reality. She was no longer able to run from it. It was real and it was in her present.

Callie wrapped her arms around the woman in front of her. She'd never seen Arizona cry like she was now. She'd never seen the smaller woman break down. Arizona had always been the strong one. She was always the emotional rock that Callie leaned on when things became difficult. The blonde had helped her through crisis after crisis. She was the more level-headed of the two. Callie was at a loss. She couldn't imagine the pain Arizona had gone through, and was still going through.

"Your patient," she said suddenly "the girl with ALL"

Arizona only cried harder and clung to Callie's body as if she were her life line. The dark skinned woman pulled Arizona's face up and gently kissed her tears away as they fell down her face. She ran her hands under her shirt and heard the blonde gasp.

Callie needed to comfort Arizona. She needed to let her know that she was here for her. She needed to do something to ease the woman's pain. Physical contact, skin on skin, seemed to be her brain's answer.

"I've got you, Ari. It's okay. I've got you, baby." she whispered to the blonde in between light kisses. Her hands were running along Arizona's stomach in a soothing pattern and she felt the other woman thread her hands into the hair at the back of her neck. Pulling back slightly, she looked into the blonde's eyes as she pulled her shirt over her head. Arizona leaned in to slide Callie's jacket down her arms. It landed on the floor in near silence. The smaller woman pushed her body against Callie's and continued to kiss her. Her tears were still streaming down her face and mixing with their kiss.

Arizona couldn't think. Her mind felt shattered and torn. Emotionally, she was exhausted. A part of her was euphoric that she'd finally told Callie about her past. The other part of her was frightened that it would change things between them, that she'd have to explain more of herself and her actions to Calliope. She was afraid that the other woman would view her differently. She didn't want the raven haired beauty to see her as broken.

She dismissed her errant thoughts. At the moment, all she could do was feel. That was all she wanted to do. Callie was here with her and she was alive and breathing and warm and the taste of her lips was driving Arizona wild.

She pulled back slightly to cup the other woman's face in her palms. Callie's hands were resting on her hips and were tracing circles on her skin. The blonde's tears were still falling and she could feel her body trying to betray her as she fought to control herself.

"You're intoxicating, Calliope." she whispered against the other woman's lips. She was so tired. She'd fought for so long to keep everything together and now that her facade had crumbled, she was left feeling exposed. Raw. She didn't have any more fight left in her. She'd fought, she'd run, she'd tried to escape. All roads had led her to this moment. To this woman. To her soul.

Callie gently kissed her lips again before pulling back to trace her fingers over the blonde's forehead, down her nose and finally to her lips where they stayed.

"I've got you." she said again, barely audible. Arizona realized that Callie was fighting back her own emotions.

"You're not alone, baby. I've got you" she trailed her fingers from her lips down to her chin and let her tongue part her lips before kissing her.

Arizona immediately responded and wrapped her hands in Callie's hair. The dark skinned woman was kissing her with such tenderness that the blonde felt overcome with emotion. She knew Callie had other questions. She knew she would want to know more about Terri and Hannah and the circumstances that had brought her to Seattle, but in this moment Callie was choosing to comfort her. She was choosing to be with her. She wasn't running.

She felt Callie lifting her body off the floor and she immediately wrapped her legs around the other woman's waist. She felt safe and protected in Callie's arms.

"I love you" Callie whispered before lowering her gently to the bed. Arizona watched as the other woman quickly removed her remaining clothes and moved so that she was directly above her. The blonde felt as if she was surrounded by Callie. She could feel the heat coming from her body. She could taste her on her tongue. She could smell her shampoo and her perfume and her need. Her eyes met Callie's and she saw that the other woman had tears in her own eyes.

"Calliope, please don't cry. I can't take it if you cry."

Callie didn't respond to Arizona's plea. She leaned down and brought her lips to the blonde's as their tears mixed together. More than anything, the dark haired woman wanted to take away the pain she'd seen in the blonde's eyes. She wanted to save her from her heartache. She wanted to be with her.

"I want to feel you on me. Take these off." Callie said breathlessly as she tugged on Arizona's pants. The smaller woman moved so she could remove the last barrier remaining between her body and Callie's.

Once they were both free of their clothing and their skin made contact, both women moaned in satisfaction. Callie was kissing Arizona with wanton abandon. Her tongue was sliding over the blonde's freely. There was no resistance from the smaller woman. She was kissing Callie with equal passion. Her hands were holding the dark haired woman's head tightly and her hips were moving in a familiar rhythm. She could feel Callie's center making contact with her own occasionally and it only serve to increase the pace of her hips.

She felt Callie move her left arm under her head. The raven haired Latina pulled back to lightly peck her lips before resting her forehead against the blonde's. Arizona was breathing heavily and she could feel Callie's deep breathing against her lips.

The next thing she became aware of was Callie's right hand trailing down her stomach. Her breath hitched in anticipation and her hips surged forward for the contact she knew could come. Callie's fingers trailed down her sex and she moaned deeply. Her hands tightened in the dark skinned woman's hair and her legs spread wider.

Callie's fingers grazed across her clit and moved lower to part her folds. She felt the other woman's fingers swirling in the evidence of her arousal.

"Callie...that feels so good." she heard herself moan. The other woman quickly removed her fingers and the blonde groaned in frustration. She opened her eyes to meet Callie's gaze.

Callie lifted the fingers of her right hand to Arizona's mouth and spread her essence across her lips. Before the blonde had time to respond, Callie leaned forward and kissed her. She heard Callie moan against her lips. Her right hand was moving again, but this time in a different direction.

Arizona felt her left hand, which was tight in Callie's hair, being gently pulled from its tight grasp. Callie guided the blonde's hand between their bodies and down to her core. She pushed Arizona's fingers against her and gasped loudly at the contact.

The blonde moved her fingers freely through Callie's lips and allowed the warm juices of her lover to coat her fingers. Callie was grinding down on her hand and breathing heavily against her lips. Arizona felt the other woman removing her right hand from her left and moving it back down to the blonde's sex.

"Calliope...Calliope." She continued to move her fingers through Callie's folds before she felt the other woman slip her fingers inside her. Her own fingers momentarily stilled as she let out a breath at the sensation of being filled by the woman she loved. She needed this. She needed this closeness, this connection.

Callie's fingers were sliding easily in and out of her and Arizona knew it wouldn't take much to send her to her release. Moving her own fingers again, she felt Callie shudder at the contact. Her hips moved down against Arizona's more forcefully and the blonde knew Callie wouldn't need much either before her own release took her.

She felt Callie move her forehead from her own and she opened her eyes to look into deep brown pools. Her lust and want and need and arousal was staring back at her.

"Together, Ari. Together" she heard her say and the two woman started a steady pace, each trying to match the others rhythm. The room was quickly filled with the sounds of their efforts. They were both breathing heavily and moaning deeply. Occasionally, Arizona would hit that particular spot deep inside her lover and she would be rewarded with a satisfying grunt. Callie was trying to kiss her, but with their movements, it was proving more difficult than naught.

Arizona's right hand, still tangled in ebony tresses, was pulling roughly on Callie's hair as the two woman picked up their pace. She felt the other woman drop her head back down where it settled in the crook of the blonde's shoulder. Callie dug her teeth into her neck and Arizona gasped at the sweet pain. Their hips were moving against each others and their legs were tangled together as they each moved to bring the other to orgasm. Arizona moved her hand from Callie's hair and ran it down her shoulders. Her nails suddenly dug into the other woman's back as she felt her release course through her body.

Callie's body stiffened above her and she knew she was in this moment with her. Both women clung to each other as the sensations passed between the two of them. Callie bit into Arizona's neck again as the waves of pleasure wracked her body. She felt the blonde's nails painfully scratching a path down her back as their orgasms seemed to collide and wrack them both again. So overcome were they both, that no sound escaped their mouths. No moans, no gasps, no names. The pleasure they were both feeling was almost too much. All they could do was cling to each other and ride it out together.

As quickly as it started, it was over. Callie collapsed against the smaller woman beneath her. She heard Arizona grunt at the extra weight, but she made no move to reposition herself. Arizona was breathing heavily trying to get air into her lungs. Her mind felt fuzzy as the sensations continued to lightly pulse through her body. She felt her legs go slack. She was too tired to speak. She was too tired to draw the sheets up over them. She was too tired to shift the body on top of hers. All she could do was continue to try to slow her breathing. She heard Callie making the same attempt before sleep overtook both of them.


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10**

She awoke to a weight across her body. Opening her eyes, she met the dark gaze of her girlfriend. Callie's right leg was across her stomach with her knee resting against her center. The latina's right hand was gently stroking along her chin and jaw while she rested her head in her left hand. The other woman was practically on top of her. It made her feel safe. Arizona recalled everything that had happened to bring them to this point and she felt herself immediately trying to extract her body from her girlfriend's body.

"Please, don't" she heard Callie whisper. The blonde tried to relax, but her heart was pounding. She knew she needed to talk to Callie. She wanted to talk to Callie, but she was also scared. Arizona had never liked change. It always seemed to happen and for the worst. She liked her life with Calliope. She didn't want that to change, but she knew she had to talk with the dark skinned woman if she had any hope of keeping her in her life.

"How long have you been awake? What time is it?" the blonde asked, her voice sounding hoarse to her ears.

Callie snuggled closer to her as she let her fingers softly trace over her lips. She leaned forward and lightly kissed Arizona's forehead before answering.

"I've been awake since about a quarter to five. It's 5:30 now."

Arizona lowered her eyes. Callie had been watching her sleep for almost an hour. She could have left but she didn't. She could have run but she stayed. She brought her eyes back to the dark brown she loved so much. Callie smiled fondly at her as her fingers ran down the blonde's neck and played across her clavicle.

"I'm so sorry...about everything."

"Calliope, it's my fault. I've kept a part of myself hidden from you and I shouldn-"

Callie leaned back so that she could take in all of the blonde's features. Her brow was furrowed and her fulls lips were parted in confusion.

"Arizona, I feel like I don't know who you are at all. I don't know squat about you. I love you, so much, but I don't know who it is that I'm in love with. You've kept _you_ hidden from me." The dark haired woman's breathing had become ragged as she spoke the words her heart had cried to her.

Arizona felt as if she'd received a blow. Hearing Callie tell her that she didn't know her turned her world upside down. She knew she'd kept certain aspects of her past from the other woman, but surely Callie knew her. Surely she knew who Arizona was deep down. How could she not?

Taking a deep breath, the blonde looked at her girlfriend and held her gaze as she thought of what to say.

"I'm the person who kissed you in a bathroom because you were upset. I'm the person who danced in your living room with you because you were happy." Arizona shifted so she could place her left palm against Callie's cheek. She let her thumb gently caress the skin she found there.

"I'm the person who held you when you were lost without your family. I'm the person who risked myself, my...everything to tell you that I loved you." She was whispering the words to the other woman in a harsh whisper. There was no anger behind her words, just a profound need for Callie to hear her. To hear her words.

"Arizona, I know all-"

"No, you don't Calliope. You want to know who I am? You want to know who you're in love with? I once tried to tell you, but I was too scared so I stopped myself." Arizona sighed heavily remembering how she'd told Callie about her brother and almost told her about Hannah.

"That night at Joe's was the start of my new life, Calliope. I got to start over that night. It was like Cinderella almost." Her voice was barely audible in the silence of the room. Callie let the fingers of her right hand trail up Arizona's left arm until it came to rest where the blonde's palm was against her face. She gently entwined their fingers before softly kissing the other woman's knuckles.

"Cinderella?" she questioned.

"Yeah, the younger, more hip, and lesbian version of it anyways." Arizona joked. Seeing her smile nearly broke Callie's heart. She always wanted to see that smile from the blonde.

"I was Cinderella, naturally. All the horrible events that had led me to Seattle were my evil step sisters and step mother." She heard Callie snort a chuckle at her analogy, but she continued without addressing it.

"You were my Prince Charming, Calliope. I'd heard rumors about you the few weeks I'd been working at the hospital. Everybody talked about you and a certain Dr. Hahn. It wasn't until I found out that this Dr. Hahn was a woman, that I took any real interest."

Arizona smiled as she remembered all the fuss and talk and rumors about Callie Torres. She felt the Latina squeeze her hand and she sighed again before continuing.

"When I saw you one day in the cafeteria, the whole world stopped. You were so beautiful...breathtaking. I was mesmerized by you. It's going to sound like something out of a cheesy romance novel, but you made me breathe, Calliope. You made my heart beat again. You made me want things again. I was drawn to you. I couldn't explain it. I just knew that I didn't feel so hollow inside when I looked at you."

Callie was overwhelmed. She'd never heard the blonde woman speak so openly about her emotions and her feelings. The details Arizona was providing were eye opening. She'd had no idea that the smaller woman had felt so strongly for her before they'd ever actually met.

She brought their conjoined hands to her lips and kissed the blonde's finger tips lightly.

"I love you" she said, her voice heavy with emotion. Arizona smiled at her as she brought their hands down to her chest.

"That night at Joe's, I knew I had to introduce myself to you. I knew I had to talk to you. When I followed you to the bathroom and saw how upset you were...I-I realized that I could fix you. I could be strong for you. That's who I am, Calliope. I'm who you needed me to be. I'm your good man in a storm."

They were both silent for long moments as Callie absorbed Arizona's words. She realized that the blonde was correct. She had been what she needed. She still was what she needed and wanted. Arizona _had_ been there for her, despite everything she'd been going through herself, Arizona had been there for her. She was determined, now more than ever, to be there for the blonde in the same way.

"Let me fix you, then. Let me be strong for you, Ari. I can be your good man in a storm, too."

Callie felt Arizona stiffen at her words. She hoped the other woman wasn't going to shut her out again. She was so tired of guessing and wondering. All she wanted was answers to her questions. She just wanted to know the woman who had stolen her heart.

"Calliope, I don't even know where to start. My life is a mess. I've tried to ignore it and stay ahead of it, but-"

"Start with Terri" Callie said as she interrupted the blonde. "How long were you two together?"

Arizona let out heavy breath as she removed her fingers from Callie's and proceeded to let her fingers play along the other woman's open palm.

"We were together seven years."

She heard Callie gasp in surprise. The other woman was shifting so she could lie on her back and stare up at the ceiling. Arizona rolled over so she could look down into her face and gauge her reaction.

"Please say something" she said.

Callie let her eyes meet the blonde's and she smiled sadly. Her right hand was running through the blonde's thick curls and she noticed Arizona close her eyes at the sensation.

"Wow, I just-just didn't expect it to have been so long. How do you leave someone after so many years together? I feel like I'll never amount to anything close to-"

"Calliope" Arizona silenced her with a finger to her lips. Callie noticed unshed tears in the woman's blue eyes.

"You amount to everything" she said quietly. "You mean everything. I was with Terri for a long time. I loved her. She was an important step in my life. You loved George and you loved Erica and whoever was before them. They were important steps in your life. Terri and I grew apart. We got together when we were still pretty young and at the beginnings of our careers. A lot happened pretty fast for us."

Arizona blinked as she fought with herself on what exactly she was trying to say to the dark haired woman. The movement caused the tears she'd been keeping at bay to fall. She let her forehead lean forward and rest on Callie's. She felt the other woman's hands in her hair instantly. The blonde let her left hand glide across Callie's chest in a soothing pattern. She just needed to feel Callie . She needed to know her warmth. The tactile sensation grounded her enough so she could continue. She let her hand continue it's path across Callie's chest.

"You mean everything" she whispered again against Callie's Arizona's forehead against her own, Callie could feel the other woman's tears as they fell on her own face. She kissed any part of the blonde's face her lips could reach as she held her head in her hands. She knew that there was nothing she could say in this moment. After all their time together, Callie knew that the blonde would get out what she needed to say sooner so long as Callie didn't sidetrack her. So, she remained silent.

"I love you so much. You don't even realize how important you are to me. I'm not really here, Calliope. I feel like I'm in limbo or like I'm two different people. When we're together and you look at me, I'm alive. I'm me. I'm me for you, baby. You're my anchor."

Callie kissed her suddenly. Her lips were wet and slightly salty as they mixed with Arizona's tears. Arizona opened her mouth and immediately felt Callie's tongue against her own. She moaned despite herself. In this moment, her pain was less. Her demons were fragments. Her world was aflame. She felt herself being pushed back as Callie exchanged their positions.

"You're here, Ari." Callie said before kissing her again. She changed the kiss from less passionate to more comforting. Her lips slowed as they moved softly and more firmly against Arizona's. Callie held the blonde's chin in her right hand while the smaller woman's hands were tangled in her dark tresses.

"You're alive and you're here" Callie whispered huskily before drawing back to look at the blonde. She'd never seen Arizona look so...open. So...free? So scared.

"Arizona, get some sleep. We can talk about all this later. I'm here, okay? And I'll be here when you wake up. Just, don't shut me out anymore, please."

The blonde smiled at her before nodding her head. It felt good to be able to talk about things with Callie. She didn't feel so weighed down anymore. She knew they had yet to have the big talk, but knowing Callie wasn't running from her made that talk not seem to daunting.

The two women repositioned themselves into a comfortable arrangement. Their fronts were to each other and their arms and legs were wrapped snuggly around one another.

As Callie was drifting into a deep sleep, she heard Arizona's voice.

"You're my great love story, Calliope."


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11:**

"We can't thank you enough for everything you've done, Dr. Robbins. We knew the risks to Melanie's surgery would be immense, but you managed to pull her through it. You've given us a miracle and we'll always remember you for that."

Kimmy Travers lavish words of praise brought a small smile to Arizona's lips. She was used to parents singing her praises, so to speak. That was the joy of peds-the ones you could save.

"Just doing my job" she responded in a humble tone. "Melanie did all the hard work." She spoke the last with a wink to the small girl who was sitting in a wheel chair. "Now, Melanie, I know the consolidation therapy isn't fun, but you've proven you can handle tougher stuff. "

Melanie smiled at Arizona and nodded her head in agreement. "It was the magic dust in the I.V. You said it would work and it did."

"Yes, I did. But, the magic only works if the person believes it will and you did. See? I told you that you did all the hard work." The small child laughed at the blonde doctor.

Turning back to the girl's parents, Arizona continued speaking to them. "Now, remember everything we talked about. If you have any questions or if Melanie experiences any complications, call me or bring her in right away. You're all good to go. Just stop at the nurses station on your way out."

"Dr. Clashe was right about you, Dr. Robbins." Jacob said as his wife moved towards their daughter. The words rattled in Arizona's head before finally settling into something concrete.

"Dr. Clashe?"

Jacob appeared not to have noticed the look on the small doctor's face. "Yes, Dr. Clashe was the one who recommended that we come see you. I'm glad we listened."

With that, the Travers made their exit from the small confines of the hospital room and left a very confused Dr. Arizona Robbins in their wake.

* * *

"So, you and Barbie are pounding each other's cake again, huh?" The words were spoken in a deep and heavily sarcastic voice. Callie looked up from the chart she'd been going over and met the smug and smirking face of Mark Sloan.

"What?" she asked him in her best 'I-have-no-idea-what-you're-getting-at' voice.

"Don't play games, Torres. You. Blondie. Poundcake. As your friend, I'll listen to any details you'd like to divulge." He came to sit next to her and propped his feet up on the table in front of them. Callie had come to the doctor's lounge because she'd thought she could catch up on some work. Looking over at her friend, with his hands behind his head and that irritating smile on his face, she realized she'd assumed wrong.

"We're...talking." she said as she lowered her eyes back to the file in her lap.

"Talking. Is that lesbian code for eating? As in poundcake eating?"

"Mark!" she yelled as she slapped at him. He laughed as he dodged her wild blow. "Come on, Torres! You can't blame a guy for trying!"

"How'd you even know anything was different with us, anyways?" she asked suddenly.

Mark leaned forward and let his elbows rest on his knees. He looked at Callie and caught her gaze.

"You were different. You've been dragging your feet around this hospital like you lost your dog. I haven't seen you like that since Hahn left."

She sighed and dropped the file in her hands to the table in front of her. Mark was still watching her. She ran her hands through her thick hair and smiled ruefully.

"I wasn't as bad when Erica left, Mark."

"Nope, you weren't. You and Robbins are the real deal, Cal. You came in this morning smiling. You looked like you did the day after Barbie kissed you at Joe's. That's how I knew things were different."

She smiled, sincerely, and nodded her head. "Yeah, we're...she and I...we're..." she laughed to herself and looked at Mark. He smiled his smug smile but remained silent. Callie's smile was wide and bright and it was mirrored in her eyes.

"We are the real deal, aren't we?" She was looking at Mark when she posed the question, but it was obvious to him, from the far away look in her eyes, that it was more rhetorical in nature.

He smiled at her, slapped his hands on his knees, and stood up. "You always were a little slow, Torres. Now, when you want to talk about poundcaking, I'm all ears." The smug expression was back on his face and it caused Callie to roll her eyes at him.

"Suck it, Mark." she said as she reached for the file that she had, earlier, tossed on the table.

Mark headed for the door of the lounge but stopped just short of opening it.

"So, you don't want to talk about Robbin's soft, moist poundcake then?" The file was out of Callie's hands before she'd had time to stop herself. Mark narrowly avoided it before slipping out of the room laughing.

* * *

Teddy prided herself on being a good judge of character. She'd not gotten where she was in life by sheer dumb luck. When the perky, blonde peds attending had informed her that they were going to be friends, Teddy had not known how to respond. She'd sensed a calm reserve from Arizona coupled with a zest for life and desire to be efficient when she'd first met her. That had proven true, for the most part, since the two of them had become friends.

Arizona was an enigma to the cardiothorasic surgeon. She was positive and upbeat and one rarely saw her upset or not in control. Perky was an understatement. Teddy chalked it up to her friend's military upbringing. Arizona always faced forward. She made plans. She continued on. It was a trait that Teddy appreciated in the other woman.

On the other hand, Teddy knew that the smaller blonde kept things in to the point of self harm. Arizona was not one to talk about her problems. She'd smile, with those too cute dimples, dive into her work, and wheel around the hospital with her heelys on. The face forward attitude that Teddy admired also proved to un-nerve her as well.

It hadn't taken Teddy long to know that something was different with her friend. The blonde had been too keen on staying at the hospital the past three days. She'd held her head up and faced forward a little too much. Anyone who didn't know the peds surgeon would have only seen a dedicated, workaholic doctor. The newest surgeon at SGMW wasn't just anyone. She'd come to know Arizona. She'd known that behind that carefree persona was anything but.

Naturally, Teddy had approached her friend and offered her ear and her shoulder to cry on. Arizona was true to herself and had deflected the taller blonde's efforts. She'd told Teddy that she and Callie had separated but that she was fine. In the next breath, the smaller blonde was asking her friend's medical opinion on a case and...continuing on.

Teddy had been stumped and a little hurt by Arizona's behavior. She knew the other woman had to be hurting. It was obvious to her, from the first day she'd seen the two doctors together, that Dr. Callie Torres and Dr. Arizona Robbins were a perfect match made in heaven. Watching the two of them warmed Teddy's heart and helped to improve her outlook on love and life in general. She couldn't imagine what her friend was going through or why she and Callie had broken up. All Teddy did know was that Arizona was anything but fine.

Over the next few days, she'd tried to get the peds attending to open up and talk with , Arizona would thank her, smile her cute smile, and change the topic of conversation to something else...something medical. In the end, the heart surgeon had decided that the best thing she could do was be there for her friend and be supportive. That decision had been made the day prior.

Sitting in the cafeteria with a salad, mixed fruit, and a bottle of water, Teddy watched as the woman in question made her way towards her. It was instantly obvious that Arizona was agitated. Even if her face remained impassive in most situations, her body could speak volumes if a person knew what to look for. Teddy was one such person.

"I don't even know what to say." Arizona said as she sat down opposite of Teddy.

Looking a little shocked at the vague statement, Teddy replied "A hello is a good place to start."

The smaller blonde glanced at her friend, her brows scrunched in confusion. She made no attempt to acknowledge the words Teddy had spoken. Instead, she continued with her one person rant.

"I mean, there's got to be a reason. I can't believe that spite would be the driving cause. That's just...spiteful." The last was said with a wild show of hands in the air.

Teddy was trying to follow the conversation, she really was, but she was finding it exceedingly difficult. She let her eyes fall back to her lunch.

"Yeah, spite can be pretty spiteful. _Who _is being spiteful?" she asked, still unsure what the blonde was talking about.

Arizona, only partly hearing the words her friend was saying, reached over and grabbed a grape from the mixed fruit cup sitting on Teddy's tray. Popping it into her mouth, she continued her tangent.

"Was it a test? Some perverse form of payback? I just...can't seem to understand the reason. The point." Arizona's eyes were set across the cafeteria, but Teddy knew she was staring at nothing in particular. She knew her friend's mind was racing ninety miles to nothing trying to figure out...whatever it was she was trying to figure out.

The heart surgeon took a bite of her salad as she continued to watch her best friend.

"Yeah, I'm trying to see the point, too." she said as she swallowed another bite of her lunch.

Arizona brought her eyes back to Teddy's and she was silent for a moment. Before the taller blonde could try to bring the conversation to some form of understanding, the peds surgeon grabbed her mixed fruit from her tray and proceeded to angrily pop the small sweet pieces into her mouth.

"I can't let this stand. Right? I'm mean, a line has to be drawn somewhere. Professionalism has to be maintained. Vendettas and revenge and other acts of...maliciousness ought not be allowed to thrive in the work place." Arizona looked at Teddy, who was still completely in the dark on the entire conversation, and nodded her head. "Right?"

Dr. Altman just stared at the blonde woman across from her. She stared at the cute, blue-eyed woman who had stolen part of her lunch. She stared at her friend, the woman who had told her in no uncertain terms, that they were going to be friends, and she smiled. She knew what Arizona was talking about. Or rather, _who_ Arizona was talking about.

There was no one else she could think of. She was shocked she'd not figured it out before. Arizona had to be talking about Callie. The last Teddy had heard was that she and Arizona had split and that Arizona was "fine". She'd known Arizona was having a rough time of the break up. With her schedule slightly conflicting with the peds surgeon's, Teddy had not had time to ask if things had progressed any further between the two women(for better or for worse). She wasn't sure what Callie could have done or said to elicit such a reaction from Arizona, but she knew that getting the two women to talk was the first step to mending their relationship.

"Ahh, yeah, yeah. You're right. You should talk." Teddy said, nodding her own head and taking another bite of her salad.

Arizona smiled as she raised herself from the cafeteria seat.

"Super! Thanks, Teddy. Oh, and thanks for the snack!" she said as she made her exit as quickly as she'd made her entrance.

Teddy watched her walk away and laughed to herself. Arizona Robbins was an enigma.

* * *

As Arizona left the cafeteria, she felt better than she had since earlier in the morning. She'd been upset with Jacob Traver's parting words. They had floored her, to say the least. She'd not had time to think on them overlong with rounds and surgeries and patients. Callie must have been equally as busy. She'd not seen her dark haired girlfriend all day.

She smiled to herself as she entered an elevator to take her back to the peds ward. Her girlfriend. They were going to be okay. Callie was still hers. She was still Callie's. When she'd entered the cafeteria, she'd hoped to find the Latina there. She wanted to talk with Callie about what was bothering her. Since opening up with the other woman the previous night, Arizona found that the idea of talking more with Callie didn't scare her as much.

She'd been disappointed when she didn't see her girlfriend's giveaway jet black hair amongst the sea of people in the cafeteria, but she'd been more than pleased to find Teddy in a lone two of them had become fast friends after the impromptu girl's night a few months back. Arizona liked the cardiothorasic surgeon. She was level-headed and attentive with a great sense of humor. Not to mention, the woman could swing a bat pretty impressively.

When she'd sat down at Teddy's table, the words and thoughts she'd been keeping in all morning came out in a rush of emotions. She'd needed to vindicate everything that had been running through her mind. Teddy's silent support had been all she needed. When she'd asked the taller woman if she was right, she'd seen the smile and the slight nod of a head before she'd heard the words. She was right. Now, all she needed to do was find Callie so she could talk with her about what was bothering her. If Callie agreed with Teddy and thought she was right, then she'd take action.


	12. Chapter 12

** Chapter 12:**

Callie's shift was at its end and she couldn't have been happier at the prospect. The day had, actually, been a normal day at Seattle Grace. She'd had two sugeries early morning that had put her in a good mood followed by post ops, rounds, consults, and catching up on paperwork. When her lunch had rolled around, she'd immediately checked the surgery board to see if Arizona was free. To her disappointment, she'd found that her girlfriend wasn't avaliable.

Not wanting to let the slight hitch in her day affect her overly so, she'd grabbed a burger from the cafeteria and relaxed in a nearby on-call room. Her talk with Mark earlier had left her in a 'giddy' mood. It was nice to hear from other people, outside people, that she and the blonde were "meant for each other". She knew how close they'd both come to letting it all slip away.

She still could barely reconcile the fact that Arizona had lost a child. Hell, the very notion that Arizona had been pregnant, had carried life within her, had raised a tiny little human who was her spitting image, was enough to cause a myriad array of emotions to flood through her. She still had questions. There was still so much she needed to know; so much she wanted to know, but she didn't want to inundate her girlfriend with her questions.

The two women had agreed to meet at Arizona's after work to discuss what lay ahead for them. They'd not had very long to talk that morning. Both Callie and Arizona had slept through the blonde's alarm...three separate times. When they'd finally awakened, the two of them had only enough time to shower, get dressed and agree to meet after work.

Standing in the attending's locker room, Callie removed her scrub top and was about to replace it with her own blouse when she heard the door open. She looked up to see the dour face of her roommate.

"Okay, you and rollergirl are getting your freak back on and that's all candyland and rainbows-"

"Oh my god, do I have it stamped on my forehead or something?" Callie questioned interrupting Yang mid-sentence.

"No, what you do have is a total lack of respect for the sleeping resident you share an apartment with."

When all she received was a confused look from Callie, Yang sighed and put her hands on her hips before continuing.

"You're not exactly known for a quiet exit, Callie. When you weren't home this morning, I put two and two together and got the L Word."

Callie couldn't stop the laughter that overcame her. Cristina was just so...Cristina. But, she was also Callie's friend, though how that had happened, the ortho surgeon was still unsure.

"Yeah, uh, sorry about that." Callie said with a sly smile on her face as she reached into her locker to grab her shirt. Pulling it on, she turned to see Yang still watching her.

"Right. Well, look if you two have some marathon sex planned then do it at her place. If she's moving back in, don't let me know. If you two break up again, be sure to stock up on cereal, tissues, and alcohol."

Before Callie could say anything, Cristina turned and left the locker room. The tall latina let out a breath of laughter before turning back to her locker.

"Cheerful as usual."

* * *

Arizona, after leaving Teddy in the cafeteria, had been paged shortly after arriving back on the peds floor. The remainder of her shift had been spent treating a nine year old girl with a stomach ulcer. Arizona had found out the child had IDA or Iron Deficeincy Anemia when she noted that the ulcer was bleeding into the intestinal tract.

Now, four and a half hours later, she was heading to the attending's locker room to change before heading to her apartment. She was wanting to speak with Callie about what she should do about Jacob Travers revelation. Knowing that she still had the dark skinned woman to rely on made Arizona smile.

"Oh, come on. You two were only apart for three days. She's all 'South of Nowhere' in the locker room and you're smiling like you're going to a Dinah Shore weekend. Just have sex in there and spare me tonight."

Arizona opened her mouth in a silent gape of confusion as Cristina Yang walked past her. What was the aspiring heart surgeon talking about and how many lesbian references could she put into one sentence? The young resident continued past the blonde without further word and Arizona looked from her to the attending's locker room for several moments. Finally deciding to attribute Yang's behavior to her neurotic state of mind, Arizona quickly walked the short distance left to the locker room.

* * *

"Hey!" Arizona said brightly as she entered the room and found her girlfriend in her street clothes.

"Hey" Callie replied turning to look at the blonde. The two women stared at one another for long moments, neither knowing what to say. The events of the past week had finally caught up with the two surgeons and everything seemed surreal to them both. Being at the hospital, surrounded by their friends and their patients, had allowed for both women to escape the realities of their situation.

Now, at the end of the day, Callie and Arizona found themselves facing each other and their own terrible fears. Callie, who had been surfing cloud nine for the better part of the day, found herself worried that Arizona would close herself off again. She feared that the smaller woman would try to leave her a second time due to her own insecurities. Arizona, on the other hand, didn't want Callie to see her as broken. She didn't want the ortho surgeon to feel as if she couldn't lean on her anymore. In short, she didn't want their relationship to change anymore than it already had.

Smiling once more, Arizona made her way to her own locker and proceeded to undress. She felt the other woman's eyes on her body as she removed her shirt. Uncomfortable in the silence, the blonde said "So, what's up with Cristina? If one didn't know any better, they'd think she was batting for our team."

Callie laughed softly but continued to allow her eyes to roam freely over the exposed skin of her girlfriend's chest. She watched as Arizona tugged her scrub pants down her legs and kick her feet to free herself of them.

"I mean, how many straight people her age even know about 'South of Nowhere, let alone Dinah Shore? You probably don't even know wh-"

"You're beautiful." Callie stated simply before Arizona could gather anymore steam for her errant train of thought. The blonde finished fastening her pants and stopped to look at her girlfriend. Callie's eyes were full of love, respect, desire, and admiration. Looking down at the shirt in her hands, Arizona smiled before saying "Only you make me feel that way, Calliope." She heard the dark skinned woman crossing the short distance between them and she looked up to allow their eyes to meet.

Callie smiled fully at her. Her radiant, gorgeous smile. Arizona felt Callie's fingers grasp her wrists and she let out a breath she'd been unaware she was holding.

"Ari, you're beautiful...so, so beautiful. I can't keep my eyes off of you."

"Calliope, why are you saying these things?" the blonde ask, confused at Callie's vehement statement.

"Because I almost lost you, Ari. For three days, I didn't get to see you. I didn't get to touch you. I didn't have the simple pleasure of watching you change in the locker room. I know you're scared, baby. I am, too. We're supposed to talk tonight and I want us to, Arizona. I want you to tell me everything. I want to help you like you've helped me."

Callie's hands were trailing along the blonde's arms and Arizona could feel herself getting lost in her touch. Callie's perfume was invading her senses and she felt the taller woman's words hit home. They had almost lost 'd put the two of them through agony because she'd let her fear guide her actions. Callie's left hand had come to rest on her hip and Arizona felt the fingers of her girlfriend's right hand running softly along her chin and jaw.

"Arizona, I want us to talk, but I don't want you to feel rushed. I just want to know that we're okay. I need you to reassure me that you're not going to leave me again." The last part was a whispered plea. Callie's voice had never sounded so raw in Arizona's ears. She allowed the shirt in her hands to drop to the floor as she leaned forward slightly to gently kiss the woman in front of her. She heard Callie gasp at the unexpected nature of the kiss before turning her head to deepen the contact between them. The blonde ran her tongue roughly across Callie's as her lips continued their assault. Her hands were grasping Callie's shirt in a not-so-gentle manner and she could feel the steady increase in the Latina's heart beat.

Pulling away slowly, Arizona kissed Callie softly several times before finally breaking contact. She reached up to let her fingers run across the dark haired woman's lips and kissed her chastely one last time. Callie's breathing was erratic and seemingly loud in the silence of the room.

"I'm sorry" Arizona whispered. Callie felt her body tense at the words, but the blonde quickly said, "I'm sorry for hurting you, for leaving you. I thought I was doing the right thing. We will talk, Calliope...about everything. I promise. You may not like all of it, but I hope you'll still find me awesome, anyways."

Callie laughed and softly kissed the blonde's nose before stepping back to allow her to finish dressing. Arizona bent down and gathered her shirt off the floor. She slipped it on quickly and turned to get her purse from her locker.

"There was something I wanted to talk with you about." she said turning back to her rockstar girlfriend. Callie's eyebrows raised.

"Sure, talk is good." she said with a sly smile tugging at her lips.

Arizona slung her purse over her shoulder and turned to face her lover. Letting out a sigh, she shuffled from one foot to the next in an effort to bring order to her chaotic thoughts.

"It was something Mr. Travers said when I released Melanie this morning."

Callie took a step closer to the blonde. "Mr. Travers? The ALL case, right?" Arizona nodded.

"What did he say?"

"He, uh, said that a Dr. Clashe recommended me." Callie waited for more information. She waited for an elaboration, a continuation, a clarification. Anything. Arizona just watched her expectantly. The ortho attending took a breath, brows and nose scrunched into a face of confusion, before asking, "And, do we know a Dr. Clashe? Is there a Dr. Clashe in the hospital? Wait, do we not like this Dr. Clashe? No, wait, Melanie was going to a special treatment center, right?"

"Yes"

"Ok, Arizona you're going to have to help me out here."

The blonde sighed as she held Callie's gaze. Drawing her lips into a thin line, she finally allowed her eyes to drop, once again, to the floor.

"Terri's last name is Clashe. She's a counseling psychologist."


	13. Chapter 13

** Chapter 13:**

"There is no right and wrong when it comes to grief. There are only various degrees of emotions that manifest themselves based on our own personalities. If you feel like crying, Cindy, then cry. If you feel like writing, for some emotional cathartic release, then do so. The sole thing to remember is that, in order to heal, you must go through all five stages of grief. You can go through them at your own pace, and you will."

Cindy sat in the chair opposite of her counselor. Her shoulders were slumped and the tears that she'd recently shed were quickly drying as they fell down her face.

"Denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance. Denial is the hardest step to face, in my opinion, Cindy."

"I'm not in denial. It's hard to deny the truth of something when you've watched it happen. I just can't believe that he's actually...g-gone." The last of Cindy's words were swallowed in a quiet sob as her shoulders started to shake.

The brunette across from her leaned forward in her chair and placed a gentle hand on Cindy's shoulder. Her deep green eyes were sympathetic.

"I know you can't. That's not something you'll ever really get over. Eventually, you'll accept it, though. Once you do, you'll be able to start the real healing process."

Cindy sniffed once and dried her face with her palms. She sat back in her chair and observed the woman whose hand was offering a silent comfort to her. She took a steady breath before allowing her eyes to connect with her counselor's.

"What do you mean, "real healing process"? she asked.

The other woman smiled, but it didn't reach her eyes. She was silent for a time and Cindy found herself curious as to the answer she would receive.

"The five steps of dealing with grief are only the first stage, Cindy. You'll deny the cold, harsh facts of the truth until the reality of the situation brings about the second step, anger. Anger will be the most draining of the steps. You'll rebel against anything and anyone who wants to help. You'll direct your anger at everything and everyone, no matter how irrational it is. Anger will be draining, but it will give you a sense of control over your situation."

Cindy was listening with rapt fascination as her tall and slender counselor continued speaking. She'd been seeing the attractive doctor for several months, ever since her son had been diagnosed with leukemia. The two women had been having sessions, very much like their current one, for a good week now. Aden, Cindy's son, had passed away nine days prior and Cindy had been coming in to see the other woman ever since.

"Once you realize the futility of your actions, you'll bargain. Whether it be with the higher power you believe in or with other people around you, you'll bargain. You'll promise to be a better person if you can have what you want in return. You'll apologize for the previous two steps of grief in an effort to make up for past reactions, all in the hopes of having your loved one returned to you."

The doctor's eyes were no longer staring at Cindy. Instead, they seemed to have become unfocused, as if the doctor herself were remembering her own dance with grief. Cindy could hardly believe that her counselor was being so straight forward with her. She appreciated it, but she could still hardly believe it. When the two of them had first started their sessions, Cindy had told the brunette that she didn't want things being "sugar coated". It seemed to Cindy that she was getting what she asked for.

"After you've denied your reality, become angry with your cruel set of circumstances, and bargained your life away, you'll realize that there are some things you have no control over. You'll realize how inept and helpless you really are and then you'll enter the fourth step in the process. Depression. This step is the step that people have the hardest time getting past. Nothing will seem to matter anymore. Things that once made you happy will cease to have that affect on you. People that once made you smile will only be a reminder of what you've lost. You'll feel empty, void of everything that was ever good in you."

Cindy had stopped breathing as she listened intently to the words being spoken by the other woman. They were so heart felt and real. She felt as if the doctor were speaking from self experience. The idea that she was made Cindy feel slightly better. It made her feel not so alone in what she was feeling. Her counselor's eyes focused once again and sought out her own.

"If you can suffer through all the other steps, you'll finally come to the last and that is acceptance. You'll accept the harsh conditions you've been dealt and you'll accept that you can't change them. In the end, you'll have gone through the five steps of grief and ended the first stage of the healing process. The real challenge, the real healing, won't start until afterward. That's the part where you have to figure out how to go on with your life. You have to figure out how to be you without the person you lost. The real healing process, Cindy, is remembering how to live when what you were living for is no longer with you."

* * *

"Terri? Terri is a freaking counselor? That's rich." Callie laughed, but it wasn't a happy one. She stepped away from the blonde and sighed as she eyed the ceiling in the locker room.

"Calliope, I'm not even sure if she's still practicing. All I know is that Mr. Travers said a Dr. Clashe suggested they come see me. Terri's last name is Clashe." Arizona adjusted her purse on her shoulder and stepped towards Callie. The other woman noticed the gesture and looked down at her.

"Why didn't you let her help you? She was trained to deal with...with-"

"Death? Her child suffering and dying? Her girlfriend breaking down everyday as she watched and could do nothing to change it?" The blonde's voice had dropped an octave as she felt her ire rise within her.

"No, that's not what I meant. God, that's not what I meant at all, Arizona. There's just been a lot going on, okay? I'm dealing, too, you know? I'm sorry. I just found out you had a daughter, Ari. Before I could fully process that, you tell me you lost her. I see her face when I close my eyes and I see you in her, so much. I can't imagine what you went through. Then, to add to everything else, you show me a picture of a gorgeous woman and tell me she was your partner for seven years. She was the one you decided to have a child with."

Arizona felt her anger quickly fading away as she listened to her girlfriend. Callie had been so supportive of her, and she knew that support was genuine, but she also knew that she'd dumped a lot on the Latina in a short period of time.

"Seven years, Arizona...and now, I find out she was or is a counseling psychologist and that she may or may not have been the one to recommend you to the Travers." Callie finished, slightly out of breath, and sighed in exasperation. Her dark eyes were pleading with the blonde for her understanding. Arizona moved to stand in front of the dark skinned woman. She placed her hands on her shoulders and lowered her eyes untill Callie looked at her.

"Hey. I know what you're feeling, okay? I lived it. I was there, in the front row. I got to watch it all play out in living color."

Callie looked stricken as she realized how selfish she sounded. Before she could put a voice to her fears, Arizona leaned forward and kissed her. It was light, feather soft, and over before Callie could reciprocate.

"I'm not saying any of this to hurt you, sweetie. I'm saying I understand. Look, let's forget about talking tonight, hmm?" Arizona pressed her body against Callie's and moved her mouth to the Latina's ear. She felt the other woman shudder as her breath played hotly across her neck.

"I can think of a better use for your mouth" the blonde whispered. She gently bit Callie's ear lobe and, before pulling away, dragged her tongue along the underside of the sensitive flesh. She looked back into the ortho surgeon's eyes and found her own desire staring back at her.

"Ari, we need to talk." Callie half protested. The smaller woman smiled, albeit a little wickedly, before replying.

"We do and we will, but let's just be us for tonight. Let's forget about all the drama and let's order a pizza, watch a movie and try to come up with a cure for lesbian bed death." Callie pulled back and brought confused eyes to the blonde.

"Lesbian what?"

Arizona removed her body from Callie's light embrace and grabbed her hand. Bringing their conjoined hands to her lips, she gently kissed Callie's knuckles as she pulled her towards the door.

"It's not anything we'll ever have to worry about, Calliope. Especially not tonight."

* * *

Autumn in Philadelphia was hot and muggy. It was hard to imagine that, come a few months, snow and rainfall would be making it's way to the state. For now, though, Terri found the humidity making fast friends with the heat and it only served to annoy her. She picked up her pace and found the steady pattering of her feet hitting the pavement to be soothing. She'd been coming to this park to run this same path for six months now. Running allowed her to forget. It allowed her to focus only on her heart rate, her breathing,and her feet making contact with the ground beneath her.

When she'd first started coming to the park, she'd found it difficult to focus on anything other than the woman who'd left her. She'd told the blonde to leave, to do what she felt she had to, but she'd always assumed that Arizona would come back to her. In the back of her mind, she'd always believed that all her girlfriend needed was time and space. She'd been wrong.

Eventually, she'd come to realize that her life had left her and the only way to get it back was to catch it. So, she'd started coming to the park to run, to forget, to heal. It helped, the running. She'd been able to start putting things into perspective. The longer she'd run, the more she'd come to understand and the closer she'd get to meeting back up with her life.

She slowed as she rounded a turn on the path. Bringing her hands to her knees, she leaned forward to catch her breath. She brought a hand to her forehead and brushed a strand of dark hair from her eyes. Her body ached and her lungs were burning from exertion. After all of her running, Terri had finally come to the point where her life was right in front of her. Her life, the complete and full circle life that she'd allowed to wither and die almost two years ago, was finally within her grasp.

She stood and stretched her sore muscles. Looking around the park, she noticed she'd come to a secluded area a bit off of her normal path. She walked towards a large tree to her right and leaned against it before sliding her body down its length to finally sit. The shade helped to quickly cool her overheated body and she let her head fall back against the trunk of the huge tree that was offering her this small respite.

After all this time, Terri had finally come to see what she needed in order to heal was closure. Arizona had left with barely an explanation. Her departure had been sudden and unexpected and had come at the worst time. Terri had lost a friend when Arizona's brother died. She'd been strong and supportive and kept her own emotions in check because that had been what her girlfriend needed. When Hannah's condition showed no signs of improvement, Terri had been positive and optimistic because that had been what Arizona needed to see. When Hannah had passed away, it had ripped Terri's insides apart and she'd felt like her very soul was leaking out of her, but she'd ignored it and been the rock that Arizona needed to lean on.

She'd lost a friend, a daughter and her lover of seven years. When she turned around and realized she needed help, no one had been there. She'd kept in touch with Arizona the first few months after she'd moved to Seattle. She'd hoped that, eventually, the other woman would come to see her mistake and that she'd move back to be with her. When she'd found out that Arizona was seeing someone, she'd backed off because, one again, it had been what Arizona needed of her.

Terri had left the hospital she and Arizona had been working at shortly thereafter. Their memories were in the halls and the rooms and they seemed to permeate everything. She saw the blonde in on-call rooms. She heard her in the elevator and smelled her in her office. It had been too much for Terri. A few short months later, she'd landed a job at the Eastern Regional Medical Center, a CTCA in Philadelphia, PA, as a counseling psychologist.

It had been fitting. She'd not been able to help her girlfriend when they'd lost their daughter, but she felt as if she could make a difference talking with other patients and their loved ones at Eastern Regional. She'd done just that for over a year now. In all that time, she'd failed to see that she was still needing help herself. She was still needing answers. She still needed to grieve, to cry, to lash out. She still needed closure. There was only one person in the entire world who could give that to her and Terri had fought with herself on whether or not she should contact the small blonde peds surgeon for weeks.

So, she'd run. Everyday, for the past two weeks, she'd come to the park to run. She'd run longer and faster than she had been previously. In the end, she'd come to the conclusion that she had to see Arizona. She had to get the other woman to talk with her. She'd recommended a patient case of hers to the surgeon in the hopes of opening up communication lines. When she'd failed to hear anything, other than the fact that Melanie Traver's surgery had been a wild success, Terri had known that she'd have to make a trip to Seattle.

She held out no hopes of winning the blonde back. She knew they were both past the stage of being lovers, but what she did hold out hope for was getting her life back. She'd put it on hold for so long in an effort to help Arizona that it had taken her years to realize she'd lost it. If she was to move on and lead a happy and productive life, then Terri needed to heal old wounds and that meant seeing her ex, Dr. Arizona Robbins.


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter 14:**

"You smell good" Callie whispered as she nuzzled the soft skin of Arizona's neck. She was leaning against the arm rest of the blonde's couch with the smaller woman resting against her. Arizona's back was to her front and Callie's arms were holding her in a tight embrace. The blonde ran her fingers down the latina's arms and reveled in the feel of her skin.

"I probably smell like the inside of an operating room" she joked. She felt Callie laugh against her ear and it sent electricity down the length of her body.

"Well, the O.R does get me hot so I think it works." The dark skinned woman nipped at the blonde's ear and lightly kissed a path down her neck. Arizona tensed as the sensations slowly started to accost her body. Her hands on Callie's arm tightened and she inhaled sharply. Turning her neck to the side, she allowed the sensations to wash over her as the taller woman's lips lazily continued to explore her neck.

The blonde ran her left hand down Callie's left arm and laced their fingers together. She turned her head towards the other woman and captured her lips with her own. The kiss was passionate and wet. Callie's lips and tongue danced with the blonde's with practiced ease. Arizona felt her bottom lip being taken forcefully between her lovers before she felt the dark haired woman pull away. She opened her eyes to question the change when she saw Callie leaning towards her again. Before she had time to register what was happening, Callie's tongue was running along her chin, over her bottom lip and forcing its way into her mouth once again.

She felt as if she could barely breathe. She inhaled through her nose as she tried to keep pace with the other woman. Callie never ceased to amaze her with the things she could do with her lips. The ortho surgeon's tongue was roughly gliding across her teeth and dueling fiercely with her own tongue. Just as she matched her girlfriend's pace, the other woman pulled away...again.

"You know, you're right. You do smell like the O.R. Let's fix that, shall we?"

Arizona felt the warm body behind her moving and, as a result, felt her own body being repositioned. She looked up and saw Callie reaching a hand down to her. The latina was smirking at her, her full lips red and swollen.

"You don't play fair, Calliope Torres" the blonde said as she reached up to take the hand that had been offered to her. Callie pulled her to her feet and quickly wrapped her arms around her.

"You'll like what I have planned, Arizona Robbins. Besides, a change of scenery is in order."

Arizona glanced away from the dark eyes before her and realized that Callie was right. The pictures from the previous night were still scattered about her living room. When she and Callie had entered her apartment, they'd both made a bee line for the couch; both of them wanting to just sit and relax and let their worldly worries dissipate.

"Come on, dimples. Follow me." Callie's words brought the blonde out of her reverie and she felt herself being lead down her hallway.

"So, what do you have planned exactly?" she asked as the two of them entered her bedroom. Callie released her hand and walked towards the bathroom set to the right of them.

"Well, I was thinking I'd show you, but if you really want to me spell everything out..." Callie let the words hang between them. Flipping on the light switch in the bathroom, she leaned over the large garden bathtub and turned the hot water faucet on. Arizona leaned against the door frame and smiled at her girlfriend.

"I love you" she said softly. Callie turned slightly to face her and smiled herself. Arizona was watching her wistfully. Her eyes were alight with nothing but adoration.

"I love you, too Ari. Now, where are your bubbles? We can't have a bubble bath without bubbles" she asked as she stood up and proceeded to rummage through the blonde's cabinets. Arizona watched her with a curious expression. Callie was doing all of this for her. She was being supportive and attentive and loving. Even after finding out the blonde's secret, Callie was still choosing to stand by her. She was still willing to work things out. She still loved her.

"Oh! This one sounds promising! 'Midnight Pomegranate'." Callie turned back to the bathtub and lavishly poured the dark red liquid under the running water. Turning the cold water on, she adjusted the temperature and moved away from the tub. Arizona was still leaning against the doorway, her eyes tracking Callie's every move.

"Like what you see?" she asked playfully.

Arizona smirked and crossed her arms over her chest. "Maybe." she replied.

Callie raised an eyebrow and pursed her lips. She lowered her hands languidly down the front of her body until they came to rest at the hem of her shirt. The blonde was still watching her, but her eyes were darker than they had been a moment before. Noticing that she had the smaller woman's full attention, Callie slowly removed her top. She tossed it, carelessly across the floor and looked back to her girlfriend.

"What about now?" she asked "Like what you see?" She smiled when she saw Arizona's tongue wet her lips. The blonde's eyes trailed down her exposed skin at a leisurely pace. She felt herself blush at the scrutiny.

"Hmm, I might."

Callie turned to check the water level in the bathtub and, upon seeing it still had a ways to go, took a step towards the blonde. Arizona sucked in a sharp breath at the Latina's proximity, but she kept her eyes focused on Callie. She watched as Callie's hands trailed down her own body and came to a stop at the waistband of her pants. Bringing her gaze back to that of her girlfriends, Arizona saw that Callie was watching her just as intently.

The ortho surgeon's fingers unbuttoned her pants and Arizona watched as the other woman slid them down long, toned, bronzed legs. Callie stepped out of her pants and kicked them to the side where they landed in the same corner as her, earlier discarded, shirt. Standing before Arizona in only her bra and panties, the dark skinned woman smirked and let the blonde take her in.

"Like what you see?" she whispered. Her skin was on fire as she watched Arizona's eyes rake up and down her half nude body.

"I do." the peds surgeon answered simply. "You're perfect, Calliope."

Arizona pushed herself off the door jam and came to stand in front her girlfriend. She brought her right hand to Callie's chest and gently let her fingers glide across the smooth skin. Her fingers trailed over the other woman's sternum before changing direction and sliding down between the valley of her breasts. She heard the raven haired woman gasp as her fingers played across her skin.

"You're perfect" she said again, reverently.

Callie blushed at the words as a small smile spread across her face. She let her hands work their way under the blonde's shirt and was rewarded when she felt an exhalation of breath against her face.

"Once we get these clothes off of you, you'll be perfect too."

Arizona laughed and stepped back to allow the other woman to remove the rest of the barriers separating them. Her eyes never left Callie's. Every once and a while, the dark skinned woman's gaze would falter as she went about the task of removing the articles of clothing, but every time she swept her eyes back up to the blonde's, she found that Arizona was still watching her just as mesmerizingly as before.

When the two of them were both finally nude, Callie smiled wickedly at the smaller woman before leading them both back to the bath tub. She checked the water's temperature one final time and then shut the water off. The scent of the bath beads she'd used had quickly filled the room with its fresh, invigorating scent. The bubbles the beads had caused were thick like clouds as they floated on the surface of the water.

Callie looked over her shoulder at Arizona before stepping into the garden sized tub. She submerged herself in the heat of the water and rejoiced as she felt the tension from the last few days leave her body. She let her back come to rest against the back of the tub and opened her eyes. Arizona was still standing at the edge watching her with a small smile plastered to her face. She allowed the smile to widen and, as she did so, Callie was rewarded with a brief flash of dimples. The blonde moaned as she felt the initial contact of the water glide over her body.

She moved around the large basin until she came face to face with her girlfriend. Smiling, she leaned towards the woman as if to kiss her, but at the last moment she turned her head so that it was against Callie's right ear.

"Have I ever told you how much I love it when you're wet?" she breathed across the Latina's ear. Callie's response was a deep moan. She grabbed Arizona and positioned her so that the other woman's back was, once again, to her front. Callie let her hands slide along Arizona's arms and chest. The blonde woman's skin was wet and slippery from the bath beads. Leaning forward slightly, the ortho surgeon let her head drop to the blonde's shoulder. She placed a gentle kiss on the soft skin of Arizona's shoulder blade before starting a path up her neck.

Her right hand had moved from the blonde's arm to her stomach and she sighed heavily against Arizona's neck when she felt her muscles tighten in response. She let her hand move farther south and quickly dip between the smaller woman's legs. The blonde jerked back against her at the sudden contact. She felt Callie smile against her neck.

"I love it when you're wet, too." she heard before Callie's fingers moved back up her body to resume their earlier ministrations.

"God, Callie, I needed this. You're amazing" she said. She let her head fall back onto the other woman's shoulder as she sighed her contentment.

"We both needed this, Ari. When things get crazy, all I want to do is get lost in you." Callie's hands moved to the blonde's breasts and she moaned against Arizona's skin as she allowed her fingers to glide over taut nipples. She heard an excited hitch of breath from the smaller woman and continued to kiss her neck. When she found the peds surgeon's pulse point, she roughly dragged her tongue across before letting her teeth gently nip it.

Arizona turned her head suddenly and nudged Callie's face with her nose. When the other woman looked up in silent question, Arizona let her mouth do the talking. She kissed Callie as if she were her air, her sustenance. Her lips were gentle, soft, against the ortho surgeons, but her tongue was almost harsh in its assault inside Callie's mouth. It massaged along the latina's own tongue with a wet heat that left Callie feeling as though she were having a bout of vertigo.

The taller woman squeezed the blonde's right nipple as her left hand ran circles across her other breast. She felt Arizona pushing back against her as she allowed her body to get lost in the sensations. Callie wrapped her legs around the blonde's in an effort to calm her jerking body. Pulling away from the searing kiss, she let her forehead rest against Arizona's. Both woman were breathing deeply.

"You're giving me a whole new appreciation for bubble baths, Calliope."

"I want to give you a new appreciation for everything, Arizona."

Her words were laced with a double meaning. Callie knew that they had agreed to just be them tonight, but a part of her was feeling uneasy about not talking things though...again. She wanted to discuss everything, especially the latest revelation about Terri. She felt as if the blonde was trying to hide herself and run from her problems a little while longer. Callie felt torn between wanting to work through Arizona's past with her and respecting her wishes for tonight. She let her hands move back to the blonde's arms. Her fingers slowly slid down Arizona's skin before she let her hands grasp the smaller woman's.

She gently squeezed the fingers entwined with her own. The blonde was silent for a few minutes.

"You do give me a new appreciation, Calliope. You give me a new today, a better tomorrow."

The two women remained in the bath tub for several long moments afterward. The simple joy of being able to relish in the others' skin was something that they both cherished. With their work schedules, neither woman found much time for such decadent pursuits. When they were both clean(and no longer smelling like the O.R), the two surgeons quickly dried themselves and retired to Arizona's bedroom.

"I'm not really tired, Dr. Robbins." Callie said as she laid her nude form on Arizona's bed. "Any advice?"

The blonde stood at the foot of her bed and openly stared at the gorgeous body laid out before her. Callie's hair was wet and clung to her face, neck and shoulders in waves of dark tendrils. Her bottom lip was sucked between her teeth as she stared at the blonde with an impish expression.

Arizona let her eyes trail down her girlfriend's body. She could feel the wetness pooling between her thighs at the sight of the Latina's full breasts. Noticing movement, Arizona watched as Callie spread her legs wider and bent her knees so that her feet were flat on the bed. The wetness between the blonde's legs increased as she watched her girlfriend open herself up to her.

"Any suggestions, Dr. Robbins?" The blonde noticed that Callie's voice was lower. It was heavy with barely restrained desire. Arizona crawled onto the bed and in between her girlfriend's bent knees. Keeping her eyes on Callie's, Arizona dropped head to the dark haired woman's sex and dipped her tongue into liquid heat. She pulled back slightly before attaching her lips to Callie's throbbing clit. She let the tip of her tongue swirl wet circles over the sensitive nub. The other woman's not-so-silent moans wafted to her ears and the bucking of hips spread wet heat across her face.

Removing her tongue from Callie's clit, she crawled up her body. Hovering over the ortho surgeon, Arizona bent down to dip her tongue into her mouth. She allowed just the tip to part and enter Callie's lips before she pulled her head back.

"I think we'll be able to think of something." she whispered before moving back down her girlfriends full body.


	15. Chapter 15

**Chapter 15:**

****A/N: This is completely, insanely, and 100% NOT suitable to read at work or in the presence of other people. A stiff drink or a cigarette may be need afterward. Enjoy!  
**

"I think we'll be able to think of something." Arizona whispered as she moved down Callie's body. She let her lips graze the soft skin of her girlfriend's throat, stopping briefly to plant soft kisses at the hollow of her neck, before trailing further down. She continued to lightly kiss down Callie's chest. When she felt the steady thump of the latina's heart beat beneath her lips, she allowed her mouth to linger for a moment longer. Her left hand was rubbing circles over Callie's hip and she felt hands in her hair when she let her breath blow across a hardend nipple.

"I love how you respond to me." Arizona said in a breathy whisper. Her eyes briefly met Callie's before she lowered her mouth to Callie's over stimulated flesh. When her lips closed around the ortho surgeon's taut nipple, the hands in her hair tightened significantly. She heard the other woman gasp at the contact and she hummed her own contentment. The gesture sent waves of pleasure down Callie's body that settled between her legs in ecstasy.

"Baby..." Callie managed to say. Her toes were curling into the mattress of the bed as the woman on top of her played her body like a fine instrument. The blonde's knee was pushed against her center and she tried in vain to deepen the friction between her legs. She felt Arizona's left hand dip to the sensitive skin between her thigh and hip and she rolled her hips in an attempt to satisfy the almost painful throbbing of her clit.

Arizona grinded her hips slightly and pushed her knee between Callie's legs harder. Her own wetness spread across the taller woman's stomach. The satisfied grunt from the full lips above her head caused her own core to ache with need. She released the hold her lips had on Callie's nipple and blew across it before leaning forward to lick around the edge of the hardened flesh.

Her left hand trailed up Callie's stomach, paused to pinch and massage a full breast, and slid back down the other woman's supple body. She brought her head up to meet the Latina's lips in a passionate, breathy kiss. The body beneath her own was rocking steadily and it stole the blonde's breath away to know that she was the cause of her girlfriend's current state. She never tired of knowing that, she alone, had this special privilege.

Callie's knees were still bent with her feet against the bed. The blonde's leg between her own was slick with her moisture. She let her right hand, which had been tangled in curly locks, slide down Arizona's face to gently cup her face. She felt the hand at her hip move suddenly to fully cup her sex and her mouth tore away from the blonde's as a loud moan escaped her. Her head fell back on the pillow behind her and she lifted her hips off the bed to fully enjoy the sensation of feeling the peds surgeon's hand between her legs.

"Ari...Ari, please." she begged the other woman. Her pleading worked, as moments later she felt the blonde trailing down her body once again. Arizona's lips were everywhere. On her chest, her breasts, her ribs, her stomach. She felt the knee against her sex being moved, along with the hand that had been cupping her, as the blonde repositioned herself.

"God, you're so amazing, Calliope."

She didn't have time to respond. The next thing she knew, her legs were being thrown over the blonde's shoulders and a warm, wet tongue was sliding through the folds of her dripping core. The contact had been so sudden, so needed, that the dark skinned woman bucked, almost violently, against that which was causing her so much pleasure. Her hands wound their way back into blonde curls. She was gasping for breath as Arizona continued to make love to her.

She felt the blonde's tongue dip into her most intimate area and she moaned loudly. Arizona pushed her nose against Callie's clit before sliding her tongue over it. The feeling of her own essence coating the blonde's tongue and rubbing along her clit was enough to cause tears in Callie's dark eyes. Her head was thrashing about left and right on her pillow and her hips were rolling against Arizona's face. She felt the blonde hum against her clit and she gasped as she pulled and pushed against the head between her legs.

Arizona could barely breathe, but the feeling of being surrounded by Callie caused her not to care much. The other woman's moisture was dripping off her chin and down her neck. Her head and her hair was being pushed, pulled, and tugged as she worked to bring her girlfriend to release. She placed the tip of her tongue on Callie's clit and quickly flicked it over the swollen nub several times. The other woman's half-moan half-sob let her know that she was in the throes of orgasmic rapture. She quickly attached her lips, once again, to Callie's clit and rode out the release with her. She felt the waves rock the Latina's body. Callie's feet were digging into her shoulders and her juices were running over her face. The loud moaning coming from her girlfriend was music to her ears. She continued to suck the other woman's throbbing nub until she felt her body slacken.

Taking her time, Arizona delighted in cleaning the other woman up before she made her way back up the tanned body below her. Callie's eyes were closed and she was breathing heavily. Her hands were in her own dark tresses and Arizona smiled before assaulting her lips. When Callie tasted herself on Arizona's tongue and smelled the evidence of her orgasm on the blonde's face, she hummed and gasped into the kiss as another orgasm, less powerful than the first, rocked her body. She pulled her lips away from the peds surgeons and wrapped her hands around the blonde's head.

When the last pleasurable thrumming left her body, Callie let her hands fall away from the blonde's head. She was completely spent. Her heart was pounding with so much force in her chest, she could feel its beat in her throat and behind her eyes.

"You're so beautiful, Calliope. I love to see you like 're breathtaking." Arizona was lightly kissing the side of her face and along her hair line. She was too worn out at the moment to reply. All she could do was slightly smile and hum her complacency. After several long minutes, Callie felt her heart rate return to normal. Her breathing became more even and the numb pounding in her head ceased. She parted her lips with her tongue and quickly wet them.

"Damn" she laughed, "Arizona, that was mind blowing."

The blonde laughed as she snuggled closer to her girlfriend. She let her fingers trace a slight path along Callie's lips and chin.

"You were so beautiful, sweetheart. I'm just glad I'm so awesome that I get to be the one to share this with you."

"So, was that supposed to make me tired?" Callie asked as she felt her body start to hum again at he girlfriend's closeness. "Cause, if that's the case," she flipped her leg across Arizona's body and rolled on top of her, "we may need to try again."

She leaned down to kiss the blonde and could still taste herself on her girlfriend's tongue.

"I taste good on you, Ari." she breathed against the smaller woman's lips. She pulled back and brought Arizona with her so that the two of them were in a sitting position.

"Wrap your legs around me" she ordered the blonde. Arizona complied and after a brief bit of maneuvering, she felt her center come into contact with Callie's. Wrapping her arms around the Latina, she moaned as their clits rub wetly against each other.

"Oh, god, Callie. That feels-"

Callie chose that moment to roll her hips. The movement caused Arizona's eyes to roll back into her head. She wrapped her arms around her girlfriend and clutched her back tightly. Her fingers tangled themselves into the downy hair at the base of the dark skinned woman's neck.

"That feels wonderful." she finished. The words were spoken so softly that, had they not been as close as they were, Callie was unsure she would have heard them.

"Move with me, Ari." she whispered into the blonde's hair. Arizona did as she was instructed and the two woman started a slow, hot, pleasing rhythm. Their bodies slid across each other's in the most sensual of ways. Callie's breasts were rubbing against Arizona's and the heated friction caused them both to moan and grasp the other more tightly. Their legs and arms were wrapped tightly wound the other's body as the pleasure between both of their legs increased.

Arizona turned her head and let her tongue drag across Callie's shoulder and up her neck. The taste of the other woman's skin was enough to cause her to moan. The sound traveled up Callie's spine and caused her head to tingle. She held Arizona to her as if her life depended on it. Their centers were rocking against each other in heated, slick waves of delectation.

"Callie...you feel good...oh, god, you feel good. This is...ohhh" Arizona's attempt at putting words to the stimulation her body was experiencing was drowned out as she nearly lost her breath to the sensations. This was a new position for them. Sure, Arizona had used it in past relationships and encounters, but she and Callie had yet to try it themselves. Being doctors who both worked 80 hour weeks left little time for sexual exploration. She'd planned on introducing this position to Callie when the two of them shared a day off and she was shocked that the other woman had beat her to it. She wondered briefly how Callie even knew about it, but stopped when she felt the Latina's tongue inside her ear.

"Calliope...fuck" Her head fell to rest against Callie's shoulder. Their bodies were still rocking together, though both their movements had ceased to be steady. The raven haired woman's tongue was sliding across her ear and nipping hotly across her neck. She bit down on the shoulder beneath her lips as she increased the pace of her hips.

"Ari, you're so wet. You feel, hmm, you feel good against me, too." The words shot across the blonde's ear in a hot wave of pleasure. She wrapped her legs tighter around Callie's body as she felt the first pangs of her orgasm start to overtake her.

"I'm close, come with me." she said raggedly. She brought her face up to greedily kiss Callie's lips before pulling away. Their breaths were skating across each other's faces in heavy pants. Arizona noticed that Callie's lips were pulled back against her teeth in an expression of unadulterated joy. Her eyes were hooded as she moved her hips and her sex against the blonde's.

"I'm with you, baby. Keep your eyes open. I want to see you when you come." Callie managed to breathe out between her heavy intakes of air. Arizona leaned her forehead against Callie's and opened her eyes. They both thrust their hips forward at an ever increasing pace and before long, they both pulled their heads back as their orgasms knocked and thrashed and rolled through their bodies. Arizona's eyes remained open and focused on Callie's for only so long. Her mouth opened in silent appreciation as her legs and arms grasped painfully around the Latina's wet body.

Callie watched as the blonde's face changed to mirror her body's reaction to her orgasm. She was beautiful to the ortho surgeon. She was free and unhindered in this one moment. She was in ecstasy and she was Callie's. She felt the pulsations shock their bodies as they continued to gently roll their hips together. She couldn't believe how good this position felt. Feeling Arizona come against her own center was pure and absolute perfection. They were one. They were united. She couldn't imagine ever feeling closer to anybody than she did in this one snippet of time.

She let herself fall backwards and her body came to rest at the foot of Arizona's bed. The blonde had moved backwards with her, her own body still wrapped around Callie's, and she laid fully along Callie's frame.

"Oh my god. I can't move or think or...god, I can barely breathe." Arizona's words were slurring as she tried to get air into her lungs. She felt Callie's throaty laugh as it vibrated through her body. They were both slick with sweat and other bodily fluids and their hair was plastered to their faces and necks. Callie rand her hands down the blonde's back and laughed again.

"You're burning up." she said in a near silent voice.

"So are you." Arizona replied before kissing Callie's chest. They remained in that position for nearly twenty minutes as they both recuperated. The blonde turned her head so that her ear was directly over her girlfriend's heart. The gentle sound reverberated through her skull as she laced her fingers with Callie's.

"I love you, Calliope. So much."

Callie squeezed her hand firmly. "Hmm, I love you, too baby. Especially after tonight." The two of them laughed. They were together. They were perfect. They were made for each other.


	16. Chapter 16

** Chapter 16:**

Seattle was rainy. That was really all she could think as she left the airport and signaled for a cab to take her to her hotel. The Travers had called her early the previous day and informed her that Arizona had worked a miracle for Melanie. She'd been gratified that things had gone so well. After getting the news and finishing her day, she'd gone to the park to run and try to clear her head.

That evening, she decided that a trip to Seattle was the only way for her to come to terms with her past. Seeing Arizona was the only avenue for her to take so that she could move on and make an honest go at happiness. She'd quickly left the park and returned to her house to start packing. Half-way through the process, she'd realized that she needed to let her superiors know of her plans. Her boss, William Cast, had been reluctant at first, but had given her the all clear when she'd explained(in vague detail) the necessity of her impromptu trip.

After finishing her packing, she'd booked the earliest flight she could and headed to the airport. She'd opted for a nonstop flight and nearly 10 hours later, her plane had landed and she was going through customs.

Now, as she took in the scenery passing quickly outside her window, she let her decision finally settle in her head. She was going to see Zona. No, scratch that. She was going to see Dr. Robbins. Arizona. The blonde was no longer Zona. She was just Arizona to Terri now. She smiled to herself ruefully as she thought about how the other woman would react to seeing her. She didn't want to cause problems for Arizona, but she also didn't want to spend the rest of her days in purgatory.

"411 University Street, right?"

Terri shook her head of lush brown hair and looked questioningly at the cab driver. His head was to her and when he caught her eyes, he nodded his head to the left side of his window. Terri looked past him and saw an incredibly tall and imposing structure climbing towards the sky. Potted plants and small trees surrounded the building in a beautiful display of architectural ingenuity. A rounded fountain in front of the large sets of doors set off the the hotel's perfection.

"The Fairmont Olympic Hotel. This is your stop, ain't it?"

"Yeah, yeah. Sorry, I'm a little tired. How much did I owe you?" As she paid her cab fare and looked on her surroundings, Terri scoffed to herself. $300 a night. She could barely believe the trouble she could get herself into.

'_Well, Zona always said my spontaneity would catch up with me one day. Seems that day has finally arrived'_

* * *

"Tell me about her."

Arizona looked up at her girlfriend's face. The two of them had eventually moved themselves to the front of the bed where they were now lying quietly together. Callie's fingers were lightly tracing the smooth skin of her shoulder and back, while her own fingers were playing softly in the dark skinned woman's thick hair that was laying across her bronzed chest.

"Who?" she asked.

Callie looked down at her, hesitation written plainly across her face, and replied, "Hannah. Tell me about your daughter."

Arizona studied Callie's face a moment as she gathered her thoughts. She could tell the woman was nervous about asking her this particular question. Callie's eyes were wide and she was softly chewing her bottom lip as she waited, patiently, for the blonde to respond. Arizona's lips curled into a small smile. Her voice was low, barely audible, and slightly more than a whisper.

"She was cute. Beautiful. She was perfect."

Callie hummed her agreement and lightly scratched Arizona's back with her nails.

"Yeah, I think that's pretty much a given since she was your daughter." The blonde shared a quick laugh with her lover before going silent. Her thoughts were focusing on her child, her daughter, her Hannah. After several quiet minutes, she continued.

"She was my affirmation, Calliope. She was my truth at the end of the day. She made me see joy and light and happiness in a world that seemed only to generate bitterness and darkness and hatred."

Callie felt a lump form in her throat at her girlfriend's words. They were spoken so openly and were so heartfelt. She wrapped her arms around the blonde and turned her head to plant a soft kiss on Arizona's forehead. She felt the other woman throw a leg over her waist as they both moved to be closer to the other. With her lips still grazing gently across the smaller woman's forehead, Callie said, "She sounds amazing, baby. Just like her mother."

Arizona kissed her collar bone lightly and let her nose travel along a tanned neck. She breathed deeply and sighed.

"She was, Calliope. There was never a more pure soul in all the world." Callie felt the slight sting of tears on her neck as Arizona started to cry. She hugged the woman in her arms tightly and whispered sweet words of comfort in her ear. After a moment, the blonde sniffed as she cleared the last tears from her system.

"'I'm sorry." she said against Callie's throat.

The ortho surgeon pulled back so that her eyes could meet blue.

"Hey. Don't you ever apologize for crying in front of me. Do you hear me? Especially about this, Arizona."

The blonde sniffed once more and nodded her head in understanding. She pushed her body towards her girlfriends and chastely kissed her full lips. It was a full, firm, but passionate kiss. Neither woman allowed their tongues to play with the other. Neither woman moved their head to change the intensity of the kiss. It was simple, but sweet. It was nothing more than the gentle pressing together of two separate mouths in a search for unity.

Arizona softly pulled away, but remained close, before kissing Callie again with slightly added pressure twice more. She looked deep into the Latina's eyes as the fingers of her left hand trailed softly along her face.

"Thank-you." she said simply before lying back down and allowing her head to come to rest on Callie's shoulder.

"We called her 'Dims'" she said suddenly. Her cheek rubbed lightly along the soft skin of Callie's shoulder before stopping to gently kiss her collar bone again.

"Dims?" Callie questioned, happy that the blonde was offering her this information.

"Yeah, we noticed pretty early on that she had my dimples. There wasn't anything in the world that we wouldn't do when she broke them out." she laughed as she remembered the small child. "We started calling her Dims shortly thereafter."

Callie laughed as she thread her hands through the blonde's curls. She played with Arizona's soft locks for a moment before bringing her hair to her nose and breathing in the other woman's shampoo.

"Yeah, I've seen the power of the dimples. You broke your own out that night at Joe's. I've been under your spell ever since."

They were both silent another long while as they both enjoyed being with the other. Callie let her hands run through Arizona's hair and along her back and shoulders as she intermittently placed soft and gentle kisses on her face. The blonde, in turn, rubbed her leg and foot along her girlfriend's body and let her fingers run lightly across her full chest. Occasionally, she'd turn her head to kiss Callie's shoulder, clavicle or neck before lying back down against her body.

"Why did you leave me, Arizona?" The question shattered the silent, easy peace they'd been in moments ago. The blonde pulled back and rested her weight on her right elbow. Her left hand on Callie's chest stopped it's idle circles. She looked down at the dark haired woman and noticed unshed tears in her eyes.

Upon seeing the look on Arizona's face at the realization of her tears, Callie tightly shut her eyes and swallowed a breath in an attempt to control her emotions. Her reaction only caused her unshed tears to quickly spill from her closed lids. She felt the peds surgeon's fingers on her face and opened her eyes.

"I'm sorry, baby. I didn't leave you because I wanted to. I didn't want you to have to deal with all of this. I didn't want to stand in the way of you having something you wanted so much. I left because I thought I was doing right by you."

Callie lowered her eyes from the blonde's deep blue gaze as more tears followed the path left by their comrades. Her breathing was ragged as the tears continued to fall.

"You thought leaving me with no explanation was doing right by me? Erica did that, Arizona. It wasn't right then and-"

"I know." the blonde said quickly. She wiped Callie's tears from her eyes and let her thumb gently graze her cheek.

"I was wrong. I was afraid and I ran. But, Calliope, I really did think I was sparing you any pain. I'd never want to be the one to cause you any discomfort."

The Latina licked her lips and took a deep breathe. "But you did, Arizona. I really felt like I couldn't breathe those three days. Everything was a fog. I've never felt more worthless in all my life. I wanted to die." She finished the last sentence in a whisper as she let her eyes fall to her chest. Her fingers were playing with the sheet across her lower body.

"I suck, okay?"

Callie brought her eyes back to Arizona's. The other woman's fingers reached out to brush a feather light path along her chin.

"I felt the same way, Calliope. I was on the verge of becoming a high functioning alcoholic in just three days time. I was miserable, Cal. But, I felt like I didn't have the right to be because I was the one who left you. So, I drank...a lot to numb the pain."

The Latina couldn't believe what she was hearing. Strict, military disciplined Arizona Robbins had sought to ease her sorrows with liquid courage?

"Promise me." she said in a rush of air. The blonde looked at her in confusion. "Promise me that you won't leave me. Please, Ari. Promise me that you're mine and that we'll go to sleep together every night and wake up together every morning."

Arizona smiled an adoring smile at her as her eyes searched Callie's face for answers she didn't even know the questions to.

"Promise me that you'll love me until the end of forever, Arizona." The voice was meek and quiet and heavy with emotion. The blonde continued to smile at the woman beneath her. She grasped Callie's chin in her hand and held her head firmly as she allowed her eyes to move across her face.

The raven haired woman was silent as she kept her eyes locked on the blonde above her. She was asking for a commitment, a future. The smaller woman was smiling at her with an awed expression as she held her chin in her small hand. Finally, after several minutes, Arizona leaned towards her and kissed her fully on the mouth.

"I promise you everything, Calliope. Everything that I am."

* * *

Mark Sloan entered Seattle Grace Mercy West and headed towards an elevator. Waiting for the next available cart, he turned his head to scan the hospital. A tall, slender woman with dark hair caught his eye. She was nicely dressed in a pair of dark pants and a cream colored v-neck with a long overcoat completing her look. Her hair was full and lush and fell down her back. Mark was instantly interested.

He noticed the woman appeared to be lost. Being the gentleman that he was, Mark turned and made his way over to the attractive female.

"Mark Sloan," he said as he held out his hand in greeting. "You look like you could use some help."

The woman turned to him and raised an eyebrow as she looked him up and down. He was attractive, for a man. His salt and pepper hair was cut short and his face was framed with a light beard that met an, even lighter, mustache. His jaw was wide and when he smiled, the woman noticed it softened his features. Holding her own hand out, she smirked as she introduced herself.

"Terri Clashe. Let me guess, you're the hospital's playboy."

Mark shook her hand before coming up short after her question. The woman, Terri, had a wild spark of intelligence in her eyes and a no nonsense attitude. Mark found himself liking her more by the minute.

"Well, why would you think that?" he asked as he stood back and put his hands in his pockets.

Terri mirrored his stance before answering. "The swagger, for a start. The confident roll of your shoulders, the way you spaced your feet when you introduced yourself."

Mark lowered his brow as he listened to the woman. His smug smile was fading as Terri read him like a text book.

"There's also the fact that I'm the only young, and to you, attractive female in this lobby. Looking around, I see plenty of other people who appear to be more lost than me."

Mark spared a quick glance around the room and realized she was correct. There were plenty of other people in the lobby. There was an older couple standing by the information desk, a homely looking woman with a crying infant, and a group of middle-aged men talking in a far corner of the room. He smiled weakly and turned back to Terri.

"Alright, you got me. It doesn't mean I can't help you out. I'm a doctor here, you know." he said as suave as he could muster. The brunette laughed and Mark found that he liked the sound of it.

"Since you're being so chivalrous, I could use some help."

Mark clapped his hands together in front of him and smiled. "Excellent. I'm your guy"

"I'm looking for the head of the pediatrics department." Terri said, ignoring the man's comment.

"Robbins?" he questioned. "She doesn't come in until tonight."

Terri sighed and a silent, 'Oh', escaped her lips. "Well, I guess I'll just have to come back. Thanks for the help,_ Dr._ Sloan." With that, she turned on her heels and started to make her away across the lobby towards the exit. She was nearly at the door when Mark appeared in front of her.

"You know, there's a great new place on the water front. I hear they serve the best steak in Seattle. I could take off early...keep ya company till you come back here."

Terri couldn't believe the nerve of this guy. She just looked at him as he wiggled his eyebrows at her and smiled that, overly annoying, smile before stepping around him.

"You know, thanks for the offer but I'm not really into beef."

Mark watched her smile as she left the hospital. The last thought he had before getting on the elevator was that her smile was too perfect to be real.


	17. Chapter 17

** Chapter 17:**

_ She hated flying. Looking out the window and seeing nothing but heavy cloud cover caused her throat to drop into the deep pit of her stomach. Sighing, she turned away from the nauseating view and decided to occupy her thoughts with trivial conversation._

_"So, uh, Valentine's Day. Personally, I, uh, think you can't go wrong with jewelery."_

_Looking at Karev, she noticed he didn't seem so inclined to join her discussion._

_"Uh, if you want, I could recommend some local-"_

_"What is wrong with you?" he asked, cutting her off mid proposal. He was looking at her with an incredulous expression on his face. She was unsure what he meant or why he seemed so upset._

_Voicing her concern, she asked, "What?"_

_The simple query seemed only to infuriate the younger doctor even more._

_"We just took a liver and an intestine from a little kid." He paused to gauge her reaction before continuing. "A dead little kid and you don't even care!"_

_She took a breath to calm her nerves but remained silent._

_"You're talking about rainbows and relationships and crap! What the hell is wrong with you?"_

_She felt her calm demeanor slipping away as this man, who knew nothing about her, had the audacity to try to pass his own sanctified judgment. She swallowed her words several times as her throat constricted painfully._

_"You don't think that I know that they just pulled the plug on a kid?" Her words were void of emotion as she spoke past the knot in her throat._

_"You don't think I get that?" She got the situation. She knew the situation. She was intimately familiar with the situation._

_"You don't think I know about the tiny, tiny coffin they're going to stick him in?" Her voice wavered slightly. "I know about the tiny coffins." she said with certainty. "I see them all the time. In my sleep."_

_Alex was quiet as he listened to the blonde calmly speaking to him about her nightmares. He felt, suddenly, like an ass. Arizona's voice was soft and emotionless, but the painful and forceful way she was swallowing told him he had struck a nerve._

_"So, if you don't mind, I'm going to keep talking rainbows and relationships and crap." The slight inflection on the last word was the only give away to Arizona's increasing agitation. "And, I'm going to make plans for tomorrow, cause that's what you do, Karev. You make plans. You have to."_

_She was silent for half a breath before, "You turn your back on the tiny coffins and you face forward. Till the next kid." Her eyes stayed on his for a moment, before she swallowed again and turned her profile to him. The hard set of her jaw was the only company Alex had as they continued their flight._

Arizona turned in her sleep and stretched her limbs before letting her body snuggle against her girlfriends. Her cheek came to rest softly on Callie's back. The familiar scent of her lover allowed her to shake her invading nightmares and fall back into a deep sleep.

_"Oh, my god! She's beautiful, Terri. She's perfect." Her words were interrupted by her tears of joy. The other woman was by her side as they both looked on adoringly at their daughter. The tiny new addition to their family was wrapped tightly in a swaddle as her small hands moved about her face._

_Terri placed her finger in the tiny palm and felt the baby gently squeeze. She turned her head to lightly kiss Arizona's lips. "You did good, honey. She's our miracle." she said through her own tears. Arizona let her head fall and lean against her girlfriend's as they both continued to stare at the perfect little human they'd brought into the world._

_"Ter, I don't want to have to go through that again. You can have the next one." Arizona said softly as she brought her daughter closer to her body so she could lightly kiss her small nose. She heard her girlfriend laugh._

_"Whatever you want, Zona. If it means I get to experience this perfection, I'll have the next five." She copied the blonde's actions and leaned forward to kiss the small child. "She smells amazing"_

_Her words were soft as she choked up on them and started to cry. Arizona turned her head and kissed her in an effort to stop her tears._

_"She is amazing."_

"Hannah?" Arizona awoke with a start and sat up in her bed. She blinked her eyes several times to clear them of sleep and looked down to the spot next to her. It was empty. She wet her lips and swallowed a few times.

"Calliope?" she called out. She glanced at the clock on her nightstand. 10:23 am. Falling back on the bed, she ran her hands through her hair and released a sigh. She'd been dreaming about Hannah. It had felt so real, so vivid. If she closed her eyes, she could still smell her skin. She could still feel her light but reassuring weight in her arms. It had been a dream.

"Hey, you're awake!" Callie said as she entered the room. She was dressed in a long, oversized t-shirt of the blonde's. Her hair was still damp from her recent shower and Arizona could smell her body wash rising away from her gorgeous body.

Callie walked over to her and sat on the edge of the bed. Leaning forward slightly, she brought her lips to the blonde's. With Arizona lying on her back, Callie got a perfect view of her hair spread out like a halo around her head on the pillow.

"You look beautiful." she said as she pulled back from their good morning kiss. Arizona let her hands smooth across the inside of her girlfriend's exposed thighs.

"Hmm, not nearly as beautiful as you. You're just like I like you, almost nude and wet."

Callie felt her skin flush at her lover's words. A goofy grin spread across her face as a deep laugh bubbled up from her throat. Not being able to resist getting a rise out of the smaller woman, Callie pulled back a breath and said, albeit dramatically, "Almost nude? You're saying you don't like me in all my wonderful glory?"

Arizona turned her body and grabbed Callie's thighs as she used the other woman's body to pull herself up. Once face to face with her girlfriend, she let her hands wander higher up her legs. The Latina spread her thighs apart to accommodate Arizona's questing fingers. The blonde's lips were against her own when her fingers brushed across her sex.

"I said, I _like_ you almost nude and wet. I _love_ you naked and hot with need for me." Her fingers played across the other woman's clit for a moment before she kissed her. The ortho surgeon's fingers roughly tangled in her hair as she deepened the kiss between them.

"You're working the night shift the next three days, aren't you?" Arizona asked against Callie's mouth. Her fingers were still moving hotly across the Latina's swollen bundle of nerves. She felt her fingers becoming slippery with the result of her actions. Her only response was a whimper and the slight nod of a dark head.

Arizona quickly removed her fingers and sat back against the bed. Her girlfriend's eyes shot open as her body moved to stay in contact with hers. Callie watched as the blonde brought her fingers to her pink lips and slowly licked her arousal from them.

"Ari, what the hell?" she cried.

"We've got all day together, Calliope. We never did order that pizza last night or watch that movie." With that, Arizona moved off the bed and headed to the bathroom.

"You're welcome to join me..." she said in a flirty tone before disappearing into the sunlit room.

* * *

_The day was sunny but not overly warm. Blue endless sky reached past the horizon before meeting serene green trees in a gentle arc. The wind blew a cooling breeze through the park as the two women walked side by side with a stroller in front of them._

_"Okay, so you're telling me that Bianca Montgomery is just all of a sudden a lesbian?"_

_"Zona, it doesn't matter if she is a newborn or not. What matters is that her kiss with Lena Kundera is the first lesbian kiss on American daytime television."_

_The blonde cocked her head to the side as her eyes fought to understand the nature of her current conversation._

_"Yeah, but it's not really the first lesbian kiss if they just had her wake up one day and decide to hop the fence."_

_Terri laughed as she linked an arm through one of the blonde's and continued walking. Birds overhead whistled and chirped a melodic tune that whispered with the wind that wafted through the tree branches._

_"Zona, I sometimes think you just like to argue the opposite of my point."_

_Arizona stopped walking and turned to face her. Hannah cooed softly at the change of pace, but otherwise remained silent in her stroller. The blonde stepped into the taller woman's personal space and smiled warmly at her._

_"I just like the way your mind works, Ter. Arguing with you allows me to see your reactions. It turns me on." She remained close as she watched a blush color her girlfriend's cheeks. Terri turned her head in the direction of the stroller and said, "Hear that, Hannah? Mommy likes the way my mind works."_

_Arizona was watching her as she spoke to the infant. Her smile widened. The wind picked up and blew her hair across her face. She felt gentle fingers stroking her skin as her hair was pulled back from her eyes. Terri smiled back at her, her hands still holding the blonde's hair from her face._

_"So, your baseless arguments are a form of foreplay? The brunette's eyes were bright as she posed the question. Her lips were pulled tight in an effort to keep her face from breaking into a full on smile._

_Arizona acted offended as she turned from the taller woman's embrace and continued to slowly push Hannah's stroller._

_"Terri, we shouldn't be talking about such things in front of our daughter."_

_"She's six months old, Zona. She needs to learn about the tuna and the clams as early as possible."_

_Arizona was too shocked by her girlfriend's words to do anything other than turn a pair of shocked eyes on her. The two of them laughed as they walked through the park. The sun was high in the sky. The breeze was light on their skin and the world was perfect._

Terri jerked awake when she felt her head falling from the arm rest of the couch in her hotel. The tv in the, overly posh, room was quietly playing in the background. A local anchor woman was giving a detailed account about the Gulf oil spill. Terri realized that she must have dozed off watching a movie that had been on prior.

She shook her head. Images of a seemingly distant past begged her to chase them, but the harder she tried, the easier they evaded her attempts. The only thing Terri could remember about the dream was Arizona. Arizona and Hannah. She spared a quick glance back to the tv and read the time displayed in the bottom corner of the news coverage. 3:45 pm.

The tall brunette raised herself off the couch and popped her back as she stood. The room was sumptuously furnished and opulent in every way. To say the room was excessively ornate would have been an understatement. Everything anyone could ever want or require was present in the room in abundance.

She walked with bare feet to the phone. It was still a few hours off before Arizona was expected at the hospital. Picking up the overly elaborate phone, Terri decided that she may as well enjoy her luxurious surroundings.

"Clashe. That's right. Just bring me samples of whatever is best this time of year."

The voice on the other end of the phone was only too happy to accommodate Terri. If room service was what she wanted, room service she would get.

* * *

"Are you going to call her?" she asked as she changed into a pair of pants and a deep purple top.

"And say what? That I'm accusing her of deliberately trying to hurt me by recommending the Travers?" The blonde pulled her hair from the neck of her shirt and sighed.

"Well, make some calls and find out if she's the same Clashe. If she is, then you can decide what to do after you know." Callie sat on the edge of the bed as she pulled her shoes on. She was happy that she'd left some of her clothes at the blonde's apartment several months back. It was 7:25 pm and the two of them were both scheduled to be at the hospital at 8:00 pm.

"I don't know, Callie. I feel like I need to, but I don't want you getting sucked into all this drama."

The ortho surgeon stood up and adjusted her blouse a moment before looking at her girlfriend.

"Arizona, do what you need to do, okay? You stood by me while I worked through all my crap. I'll still be standing by you when you're done working through your own stuff. Alright?"

The smaller woman nodded her head in the affirmative and walked towards her girlfriend. She laid her head against the latina's chest and wrapped her arms around her. Strong arms immediately reciprocated her actions and she sighed in relief.

"I'm glad you're with me, Calliope."

The darker woman held her more firmly as she kissed the top of the blonde's head.

"Me too, baby. I'll be here as long as you'll have me."

Arizona released her hold on the raven haired doctor and smiled at her. "I'll always want you around. Always."

* * *

"Mark, what are you still doing here?" Callie asked when she saw him standing at the nurses station. "It's 9:55."

The older man finished writing notes in a chart before turning to his friend. "Got stuck in surgery. Just working on some post ops before I head home."

Callie grabbed a chart from behind the station and gave it a quick once over. She felt Mark's eyes on her so she glanced up at him. "What?"

"Still don't wanna give me any details on you and Barbie?" he asked as he clicked his pen once and placed it into his white coat.

"Mark, do I ask for details about your sex life?"

"No, but I'd give them to you if you asked."

All Callie could do was laugh. She looked back down at the chart in her hands when she heard a voice say her name.

"Calliope, I've got Lexie taking Jansen for an x-ray. Looks like we'll be working closely together tonight." Arizona sidled up close to her girlfriend. She glanced up at Mark in greeting.

"Mark"

"Robbins"

A heavy silence settled between the three of them. Mark watched the two women as if they were ants under a microscope. Arizona looked from her girlfriend to her girlfriend's best friend as she wondered what she'd missed. Callie felt extremely uncomfortable being stuck in the middle of all it. Mark saved her the painful task of picking a topic of conversation when he spoke up suddenly.

"Well, I'll be damned. My night may have just gotten better. "

Callie turned to see what or who had so captured the man's attention. Standing across from the nurses station was an attractive woman with long brown hair. She had on a nice pair of jeans and a loose fitting top with a neatly cut jacket on her shoulders. Callie thought the woman looked vaguely familiar, but she found that she couldn't place her face.

"Ladies, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go say hello to-"

"Terri?" Callie turned back to her girlfriend when she heard her voice. The blonde's eyes, no her entire face, was unreadable. She was staring at the woman across from them with a ghost of an expression on her features. Callie didn't know what the expression meant, but she knew she didn't like it. She felt Arizona take a step away from her side as she continued to stare at the woman, Terri.

Terri took a couple of long legged strides towards the trio and searched the blonde's face.

"Zona" she said simply.


	18. Chapter 18

**Chapter 18:**

She hadn't meant to call the blonde by her own term of endearment. Standing across the small room and seeing the woman stare at her in stunned shock had caused Terri to revert back to old habits. Arizona looked miraculous. Her thick blonde hair was longer than she remembered and her body seemed more lean, but to Terri, she was breathtaking.

The man, Mark Sloan, whom she had met earlier in the day was watching the two of them with a curious expression. Standing to his left was a voluptuous hispanic woman with a wavy mess of raven colored hair. She was similar in height to Terri with full ruby red lips and deep dark brown eyes. Terri was unsure who the Latina was, but she didn't exactly like the look she was receiving from her. Briefly, she wondered if the woman was Arizona's new girlfriend, but she quickly dismissed the train of thought as her eyes found blue again.

Before she could speak, a deep voice cut through the silence.

"Oh, okay. I get it now. 'You're not really into beef'...I get it now. That's very clever."

Three sets of eyes, brown, blue and green, cornered the man as he continued to watch them all with a tight smile on his face.

"Mark, go home." the hispanic woman said as she darted her eyes back to the women in front of her. Mark paused for only a moment before nodding his head and walking away. Callie looked to her girlfriend's face and noticed that her eyes were still studying the brunette directly in front of her. Her baby blues were traveling across Terri's features, almost drinking her in. Callie shifted from one foot to the other as she felt a sinking sensation form in her stomach and slowly start to rise in her chest.

"Ter...wh-what are you doing here?" Arizona's question seemed unnaturally loud after the oppressive silence of a few minutes previously. She couldn't identify the feelings that were attacking her heart as she watched the woman smile and lower her eyes.

"I, uh ,I...well, I came to see you, actually." She brought her eyes back up to the blonde's and her face broke out into a full smile. "Spontaneity."

Arizona wasn't sure why or how, but something broke within her. She found herself laughing at the other woman's simple words and their inside joke. Stepping closer to the tall brunette, she wrapped her arms around her neck and pulled her close. Terri was hesitant for a moment before she wrapped her own arms around an, all too familiar, slim waist.

Callie felt as if she was going to be sick. Arizona had yet to even acknowledge her presence, let alone introduce her to this woman. The awed staring had been bad enough, but seeing the two of them hugging one another was causing Callie's heart to attempt an escape through her throat.

She was trying to be patient and understanding, but she didn't know how much longer her easy going temperament would hang around.

Somewhere in the back of her mind, Arizona knew she should let the other woman go. They had been wrapped in each other's arms for longer than was socially acceptable. Terri was familiar to her. She was comforting in an odd way. She noticed that the brunette still wore the same perfume. _Feerie by Van Cleef & Arpels_. She was more toned than Arizona remembered, but despite everything, she was familiar to the blonde.

Another part of her mind was trying to get her to remember that she was upset with Terri. She had questions for Terri. Had she sent the Travers to her? If so, what were her reasons? If not, why was she here? Surely, she wouldn't come all this way hoping to get Arizona back? The thought caused her to stiffen and release her hold as she stepped back to clear her mind. Terri looked slightly uncomfortable at the show of affection. She raised her eyes to Callie and back to Arizona as she cleared her throat.

"Dr. Robbins, I've got the x-rays back."

All three woman turned to the sound of the light voice. Lexie Grey had stopped a few feet from them and was watching with open embarrassment. She looked from Arizona and Terri and then to Callie, whose eyes were burning with a fire Lexie knew came from nothing good.

"I'll take a look at 'em, Little Grey. I'm not really needed here, anyways." Callie said as she looked from Terri to the wide eyes of her girlfriend. Picking up the chart from the counter behind her, she pushed past the happy reunion and headed towards Lexie.

"Calliope! Wait." Arizona called after her.

Terri froze when she heard the name. So, the beautiful hispanic woman was Arizona's new girlfriend. She was impressed. The woman was stunning. Stunning and obviously very put off by Terri's sudden appearance. She wondered if Arizona had even told her of her past. Did this, 'Calliope' know about her? About Hannah?

She placed her hands in the back pockets of her jeans and took a deep breath. She knew her sudden arrival would be difficult for all parties involved. She knew there would be questions and the possibility of harsh words. After two years of waiting and thinking of someone else's needs, Terri wanted only to fix herself. She wanted to think about what was best for her for a change. She hated that her being in Seattle would, undoubtedly, cause a certain amount of unease for Arizona and her new girlfriend but, at the same time, she was tired of living with her own constant discomfort.

She let her head fall back on her shoulders as she looked at the ceiling of the hospital for a moment. Sighing once more, she turned to see Arizona coming to stand in front of the tall latin woman.

"Calliope-"

_"No puedo hacer esto."_

Arizona stopped and felt her heart rock painfully against her ribs. Callie was speaking Spanish. Her girlfriend only ever spoke in her first tongue when she was upset. Upset or hurt. Bringing her hands to her face, she steepled them over her nose and took a breath.

Though she was far from being fluent in Spanish, her time with Calliope had taught her a few words and phrases that she could use conversationally.

"Calliope, what can't you do?" she asked in a timid voice.

The taller woman took a breath and looked to the chart in her hands. Bringing her face up, her eyes looked past Arizona and met Terri's waiting gaze.

"I can't see the two of you together, Arizona. She's..she's gorgeous. I'm just feeling really out of place here."

Arizona stepped closer to her and moved her body slightly so she could block the dark skinned woman's view of Terri. She felt as if she was being pulled in two different directions. Behind her, her ex and partner for seven years was waiting to talk to her about who knew what. In front of her, her heart and soul and confirmation of true love was fighting back tears and a rising fear of being hurt and broken. She felt her head starting to ache at the complexity of her situation.

Looking over Callie's shoulder, she saw Lexie still watching them by the elevator. Judging by her slumped shoulders and the nervous twitch of her eyes, it was obvious to Arizona that the younger Grey wished to be anywhere but where she currently was.

"Dr. Grey, let me see the x-ray." she said holding her hand out.

Lexie jumped upon hearing her name and shook her head. She brought the requested item to the blonde and stepped back to allow the woman room to observe the x-ray. Holding the thin sheet up to the light, Arizona and Callie both tilted their heads.

"Looks like a greenstick fracture." Callie said. Arizona gave a firm nod of her head in agreement.

Lexie came up behind them and studied the x-ray. "What's a greenstick fracture?"

Callie looked back at her. "Uh, why don't you get Jansen set up in a room and I'll be up in a minute to talk with his parents. We'll discuss fractures then."

Lexie looked from the taller woman to the shorter blonde on her left and smiled weakly. Taking the x-ray from Arizona's hands, she turned and headed back to the elevator.

"Calliope, please don't do this." Arizona said as soon as the doors to the elevator closed.

Callie turned back around to face the peds surgeon. "Do what, Arizona?"

"You said you'd stick by me while I worked through things." the blonde said, slightly irritated.

"I didn't know that feeling up your ex was part of you working through things." Callie said as her voice rose in pitch and her eyes narrowed. She could feel herself getting worked up the longer she was in the same area as Terri. The pictures she'd seen a few nights ago of the woman had not truly done her justice. Standing mere feet away from her, Callie felt incredibly out of her league. The woman was tall and slim and muscular. Callie thought she could have been a model.

"Calliope, I admit that seeing her knocked me for a loop. I never expected her to come here. She's a reminder of my past and-"

Callie stepped back and felt her throat tighten. She couldn't seem to make herself understand the blonde's words. Did she still love Terri? Was she going to leave her when she realized that she still had feelings for the green-eyed woman? Was she regretting ever leaving her?

_" Todavía la amo?"_

"What?"

"Do you still love her?"

Arizona couldn't believe how quickly the situation was spinning out of her control. How could Callie ask her such a thing? She felt as if she was having a nightmare. The harder she tried to explain herself, the deeper she dug her own grave. She stepped into the Latina's personal space and placed a gentle hand behind her neck. Her eyes implored the other woman to look at her. When brown eyes meet blue, the blonde exhaled.

"Yes." she said quietly.

She felt Callie trying to back away from her, but her hand behind the raven haired woman's neck stopped her.

"Let me finish, Calliope."

She brought her other hand up to grasp her girlfriend's right hand. She threaded their fingers together and kneaded the back of Callie's neck with her other hand.

"She's a part of me. She's a link, a reminder to Hannah. She helped me become who I am today. I'll always love her, Calliope. But, she isn't you, sweetheart."

Callie's eyes, brimming with tears, looked up suddenly to meet hers. Callie's free hand was toying nervously with the front pocket of Arizona's white coat.

Seeing that she had her girlfriend's full attention, Arizona continued.

"I'm not in love with her anymore. My heart is yours, Calliope Torres. When I feel it beating in my chest, I know it's because of you. I never felt for Terri what I feel for you, baby. You're it for me."

Callie's breath hitched as she tried to keep herself from breaking down in front of her girlfriend. She felt foolish for acting the way she was, but she knew fear was a powerful motivator. A part of her felt ashamed for even having to question the small blonde in front of her.

"I'm sorry, Ari." she said softly. She squeezed the woman's fingers in her hand and released a deep breath.

Arizona rubbed her neck in soothing circles and smiled wanly.

"I just need to find out what she's here for, okay? I'll catch up with you in a few."

Callie nodded her head a few times and stepped back. Her fingers were still entwined with the blonde's and she allowed her eyes to stay on their conjoined hands as she collected her thoughts.

"You promised me forever, Ari."

"I know." she heard the smaller woman say. She felt Arizona's thumb lightly rub along her palm. "I meant it, too. I love you, Calliope."

Callie yanked gently on the blonde's hand and pulled her to her body. She wasn't normally one for public displays of affection(especially at the hospital), but she needed to feel Arizona. She needed to find her reassurance. Bending her head, she let her lips brush softly across her girlfriend's. The kiss was nothing erotic. It was hardly more than a peck, but it lifted the heavy feeling that had settled around Callie's heart.

"I love you, too." the ortho surgeon said as she pulled away. Her words were said with a strong conviction. She backed away from Arizona but kept her eyes locked on hers until she was forced to turn away to signal for the elevator. She stepped inside once the doors opened and turned to face forward. Before the doors shut, she heard Arizona call her name.

"Calliope? Forever."

She smiled brightly as the doors closed.

* * *

"She's pretty, Arizona." Terri said when the blonde stepped up in front of her.

"Why are you here, Terri?" Arizona asked, ignoring Terri's compliment.

"Look, I'm not here to cause any problems, Zona."

Terri bit her lip when she noticed her slip. It was harder being around her ex than she had thought. Being so close to the other woman and knowing she couldn't touch her was a deep irony that Terri found she didn't appreciate. She knew Arizona had moved on. She was happy and Terri truly was warmed by that. She just wished she could stop her body's reaction to the small woman in front of her. Her body had missed Arizona. Feeling the heat coming from her ex lover was causing her body to crave her. Where once she would have loved that primal yearning, now she found that it only distracted her.

"Too late, Terri. Just tell me why you're here."

"I need your help. I know you're busy and I don't want to upset you, but-" Her words came up short as she stared at Arizona.

"But what, Ter?"

'Ter'. It seemed that she wasn't the only one falling back on familiar habits. Arizona had called her by her nickname twice already. Selfishly, she wondered if the blonde's body was having a similar reaction as her own.

"Can you meet me tomorrow so we can talk? I'm staying at the Fairmont Olympic on University."

Arizona was silent as she thought the question over. It wasn't like Terri to be so skittish. Whatever had caused her ex to come all the way to Seattle had to be of some import. She couldn't remember Terri ever, openly, asking for help.

On the other hand, she didn't think Callie would take too kindly to her spending any extra time in the company of her, as Callie had put it, "gorgeous" ex. She felt trapped, as if she were between a rock and a hard place. Callie had told her to talk with Terri. She had asked, only a day ago, why Arizona had not allowed Terri to help her with Hannah's loss. With everything that had been going on lately, the blonde felt as if she should agree to Terri's offer to talk. It had the potential to do them both some good.

"I get off at 8 in the morning. I can't guarantee that for sure, but-"

"I remember what the hours are like, Arizona." Terri said.

Arizona smiled bashfully. "Right." she said as she averted her eyes.

Terri grabbed a slip of paper from her jacket pocket and quickly wrote her cell number, hotel phone number, and hotel room number on it before handing it to the blonde.

"Just call me, alright? I'm not here to be the bad guy, Zona. I just want us to talk and then I'm gone."

Arizona took the piece of paper and tucked it into her coat pocket. She looked back up at the brunette and swallowed a breath.

"You look good, Terri."

Deep jade eyes sparkled as an open smile appeared on beautiful features. "So do you, Dr. Robbins."

Arizona smiled, but Terri noticed it didn't meet her eyes.

"I've got to go. I have patients. I'll call you."

The peds surgeon turned to leave. Her fingers were playing across the slip of paper in her pocket as she waited for the elevator. Before the doors fully closed, she saw Terri still standing by the nurses station with her hands in her pockets. Her eyes were on the blonde's until the silver metal of the doors cut off her view.


	19. Chapter 19

**Chapter 19:**

_"Say it." she said in a low tone of voice._

_The body in front of hers fought against the grip she had on the pair of hands above her head. Arizona was pressed against the wall of their bedroom and the hot soft body of her girlfriend. Terri had her hands wrapped around the blonde's wrists and was currently holding them against the wall above Arizona's head._

_"No, you can't make me." she said as she continued to try to push her body away from the wall. She was enjoying their little game, but she wasn't exactly enjoying Terri having the upper hand._

_She felt her girlfriend press against her more firmly as a thigh was placed between her legs. A roll of slim hips brought that thigh roughly into contact with the crotch of her pants. She moaned slightly and pressed down against the source of her pleasure._

_"Can't I?" Terri asked in a sultry voice. She dropped her head to the blonde's and rolled her hips again. The gasp from Arizona washed across her face. She let her tongue leave her mouth and slide along the blonde's bottom lip. When Arizona tried to lean forward to kiss her, she pulled back and looked down at her._

_"Just say it, Zona. Concede." Terri repositioned her hands so that her left held the blonde's wrists while her right moved down her body. She undid the button on Arizona's pants and slowly, agonizingly so, pulled the zipper down. She felt the body, pressed tightly to her own, jerk violently._

_Arizona threw her head back where it pounded against the wall behind her. She took a deep breath as she continued to press down on Terri's thigh between her legs. Nimble fingers were working their way down the front of her panties and she couldn't suppress the ,"Mmmhmm" that rolled across her lips._

_"If I say it," Arizona panted, "will you stop teasing me?"_

_"Yes." Terri said against her lips. She let her thumb flick across the blonde's clit. She could feel the other woman's wetness through her panties and the heat rising from her core._

_"Okay, fine. I find Bette Porter incredibly sexy. There, now stop teasing me, Ter."_

_Arizona opened her eyes to see her girlfriend smiling at her. The hand around her wrists released its tight hold and the leg between her legs stepped back. She groaned at the loss of contact. Terri removed her hand from her pants and helped her out of her jeans. Dropping down to her knees, the brunette hooked her thumbs around the waistband of her panties and looked back up at her._

_She leaned forward and blew a breath across the blonde's clit through her underwear. Arizona jumped and felt her legs trying to give away beneath her._

_"You said no more teasing, Terri."_

_"No more teasing, Zona." she said as she lowered the blonde's panties to the floor. "No more teasing."_

* * *

"What's a greenstick fracture?" Mr. Michaels asked.

"Basically, it means that your son's bone didn't break, completely. It's bent. Because his bones are still growing, they haven't fully calcified yet. This is a pretty common type of fracture in infants and children. With closed reduction and a cast application, he'll be fine." Callie said.

Before she could say anymore, her pager beeped and startled everyone in the room. She looked down and sighed. "I'm needed in the pit." Turning her attention to Lexie, she asked, "Dr. Grey, will you be okay to apply the cast?"

The younger Grey smiled widely and nodded her head. "Yes, Dr. Torres. Thank-you."

Callie looked from Lexie to Mr. Michaels and then back to her pager.

"Alright then." she said before she left the room. It was going to be a long night.

* * *

Five hours after leaving Terri by the nurses station, Arizona found herself in the third floor on-call room. Trauma had hit the hospital shortly after she'd stepped into the elevator and she, and every other doctor working that night, had rushed into action. The time had passed quickly, though stessfully, and had allowed the blonde doctor to forget about things for a while. She'd not had much of a chance to talk with Calliope about Terri. The two of them, as attendings, had been pulled in every direction of the hospital while the E.R bombarded them with patients.

She was laying on the small bed in the on-call room staring up at the ceiling. Her fingers were drumming light on her stomach as her mind refused to give her any peace. Everything was happening too fast. Not one week had passed since the Traver's case. Not one week had passed since she'd broken up with Calliope. It had only been two days since the two of them had gotten back together and Arizona had, slowly, started to talk to the other woman about her past.

Now, her ex was in Seattle wanting to talk with her, needing her help. Terri, the woman she'd loved and adored for seven years was a few miles away in a swank hotel most likey thinking or dreaming about her. The woman who she'd conceived a child with was breathing the same Seattle air as she was. Hannah's other mother was here, in her present. She knew the loss Arizona felt because she, too, had experienced it. Terri, Ter, was here. It made everything real. Hannah was gone. That life was a memory. That time was forgotten. With her ex's sudden appearance, Arizona felt as if she'd been transported to the past.

Having to confront her demons and tell Callie about everything had been hard enough. With Terri back in the picture, the blonde's world was threatening to swallow her whole. Too much was assaulting her too fast. When she closed her eyes and remembered Terri's scent, she could just almost hear Hannah laughing in the background of her thoughts. Nostalgia was a powerful thing.

_She couldn't believe how perfect she was. Weighing only 6lbs and 6oz, Hannah was tiny. Arizona was almost too scared to handle her ,being afraid that she would harm the tiny human. After a few days at the hospital, they'd finally been released. She was sitting in a chair in their living room holding her beautiful daughter closely to her chest. The chair rocked back and forth slightly as she hummed a gentle tune to her tiny bundle._

_Hannah's small hands were covered in tiny pink mittens to keep her from scratching her face. Her eyes were open and looking directly at Arizona as she spastically moved her covered hands in front of her face. Arizona smiled a smile that only ever visited new mothers. She gently grabbed Hannah's hand in between her thumb and fore finger and felt her breath catch when the baby yawned suddenly._

_"You're perfect, Hannah." she whispered softly to the little infant. "Absolutely perfect."_

_Terri entered the room and smiled at the sight of her girlfriend and her new daughter. The blonde was obviously engrossed in the child._

_"I've got to run a few errands, Zona. You'll be okay while I'm gone?"_

_Without looking up, Arizona nodded her head as she let her fingers run along Hannah's soft skin._

_"I'm fine, Terri. Better than fine. Go, we'll be okay."_

_Terri smiled again and left the new mother with her baby._

_"We're gonna be together forever, Hannah. You and me. You hear that?"_

_Hannah cooed softly and closed her eyes; the gentle rocking motion and her mother's soothing voice lulling her to sleep. Arizona watched and felt a tear leave her eye._

_"You and me, darling. You and me."_

"Arizona, wake up."

The blonde opened her eyes and blinked as she tried to focus on the face in front of hers. Sitting up on her elbows, she licked her lips and sniffed once. When her vision cleared, she saw that Callie was sitting on the edge of the bed watching her. Her hand was on the blonde's thigh and she squeezed gently.

"Hey." Callie said softly.

"Calliope?"

"Yeah, it's me baby. I paged you, but you didn't answer so I came looking for you."

"I fell asleep." Arizona said, stating the obvious. "What time is it?"

Callie studied the smaller woman for a moment. Her normally bright blue eyes appeared dull and there were dark circles forming below her bottom lids. She wondered what the blonde had been dreaming about, but stopped herself when she felt her stomach clench tightly. She didn't want to think about what, or who, her girlfriend had been dreaming.

"It's a little after four. Did you want to grab something to eat? Things seem to have slowed for the moment."

Arizona closed her eyes and sat up more fully on the bed. Although she'd been asleep for nearly an hour, her body felt as if she'd been awake for a week straight. She was tired and sore and exhausted. She wished she could go back to a time before her life had become so difficult.

"I'm-I'm not really hungry. I need to talk with you."

Callie removed her hand from the blonde's leg and sat back to allow the other woman room to move around. She didn't say anything for several minutes. Arizona had drawn her knees up to her chest and wrapped her arms around them. She was staring at her hands as she tried to gather her thoughts.

"Terri wants me to meet with her when I get off work," she said without preamble. Her eyes continued to observe her hands as the words hung on the air between them.

Callie searched her face and felt a painful spasm in her chest.

"What do you want me to say?" she asked.

Arizona looked up to meet her eyes. "I want you to tell me what to do." she said softly.

"I don't want you to see her, Arizona. But, I know you need to, if only to get answers about the Travers."

"It's not the Travers I want to talk about with her, Calliope." She'd said the words before she could stop herself. She had been thinking things over in her mind since Terri had left. At first, her overriding concern had been to demand an explanation for the ALL patient case. The longer she'd thought about things, the more she'd realized that she didn't care about whether or not Terri had recommended the case. She wanted find out why Terri was here. She wanted to finally put to rest her past so she could stop having it haunt her. She wanted to talk to Terri about Hannah so that she could reassure herself that the little girl, the experience of her life, had been real.

"What do you mean? What else do you want to talk with her about?" Callie's words were tightly spoken and Arizona noticed her body language change.

"I want to talk with her about...about who we used to be together, Calliope. I want to know why she's here and what she's needing from me. I want to close the door on that part of my life."

Callie stood up from the bed and turned her back to the blonde. Her left hand was on her hip while her right was pinching the bridge of her nose. She took a few calming breaths before turning back around to the small woman sitting on the bed.

"What you used to be? You want to talk with her about...about-" she stopped herself and took a deep breath. She was tired of being understanding. She wanted to tell Arizona that she forbid her from seeing Terri. She wanted to tell Arizona that she was tired of the rollercoaster ride of emotion she'd been on the past week. The more understanding she was, the more drama that popped up to test her patience. How much more was she supposed to take?

She bit her lip and continued to speak. "Fine, talk with her. Do what you have do."

Arizona got off the bed and stood before her. Her expression was one of near defeat and the sag in her shoulders corroborated that assumption.

"I don't want to do this if I don't have your support." she said plainly.

"My support? You want my support to deal with your ex? You want my support even knowing that I'm having to deal with the fact that she's here in Seattle!" She threw her hands up and turned away from the blonde. She chuckled nervously to herself and sighed.

"Yes. That's what I want, Calliope. I can't believe that you would have the audacity to act this way." Arizona couldn't believe her girlfriend was acting this way. A small part of her could relate, but she was tired and her emotions were on edge and Callie's attitude was only serving the anger coiling inside of her.

The Latina turned around and narrowed her eyes. "Audacity? What are you talking about?"

"You're upset because you're having to deal with Terri being here in the city? " She scoffed and took a step towards her girlfriend. "Think about how I've felt, huh? All your exes are here in this damn hospital. One of them happens to be someone I'd like to see wind up Peds. Another is your best friend and one time fuck buddy. George was here when I started and the two of you had been married not long before. The only one I've not had to deal with on a day to day basis is Erica!"

Callie was watching her with wide eyes. How dare her throw all of this in her face! She'd not been with any of her exes as long as Arizona had been with Terri. She'd not had a child with any of them. How could the blonde think that the situations could even compare?

"That's nice, Arizona. That's fucking nice."

Arizona was silent for half a beat. The good man in a storm deep inside her was trying to tell her to shut up. To not push the subject anymore. To let things go. She was past the point of being rational. All she wanted to do was get some sense of control over the situation. Ignoring that tiny voice inside of her, the blonde spoke and instantly regretted the words.

"Well, I'm not the one who has slept with half the hospital."

Callie's face fell and her eyes took on a hue the blonde was unfamiliar with. The taller woman visibly released a breath as tears fell down her face. She took a step back from the blonde and attempted to wipe the tears bleeding down her cheeks.

Calliope...I-I didn't mean...I'm sorry. Please don't-" Arizona stuttered the words as her heart stopped beating in her chest. She was ashamed at herself for her emotional outburst. Never could she have imagined that the face in front of her, the broken and hurt face, would be her own doing. A part of died as she watched the tears fall.

"Don't, Arizona. Just...do whatever the hell you want."

"Callio-" her words were cut off as the brunette opened the door and left her standing alone in the on-call room.

She felt her knees shake and before she knew it, she was on the floor as her own tears fell heavily from her eyes. Where earlier, she'd felt tired and exhausted, now she found that her body, her soul, her so much she was almost numb. Everything was happening too fast and despite what she said and what she did, things continued to assault her. Nothing made sense and now, she'd hurt the one person in all the world she'd sworn she'd never hurt.

The voice inside her, her good little man in a storm, climbed up her spine and whispered in her ear, _"Nice job. If only you'd listened to me."_


	20. Chapter 20

** Chapter 20:**

The world truly was a crazy place. Nearly ten years ago, she was young and in love and the world was her oyster. All her dreams had either come true already or were well within her reach. She was smart, accomplished and had a steady career. The love of her life was finishing med school and had plans to do her residency at a prestigious hospital. She was young and the world, the crazy world, was hers.

Little did she know that a few years later, she would be welcoming her daughter into the world. Granted, she was not the child's birth mother, but that never seemed to be a factor. She was there to help her partner select a donor. She held a small hand when her lover had the IVF procedure and she witnessed her girlfriend's body change with each trimester. She may not have given birth to her daughter, but she was no less her mother.

That crazy world would show its face five years later. They say bad things come in threes and the world dealt out its hand in a massive show of aces. Her brother-in-law died in Iraq. Her daughter, her precious, beautiful daughter passed away after a battle with leukemia, and her girlfriend left her. The woman she'd shared a heart beat with for seven years broke down and left her. Now, nearly two years later, she was standing under a spray of hot water in a posh hotel in Seattle. She was in the city where her ex had taken a job. The world is a crazy place.

Terri could hardly believe where her life had taken her. Once, she had been the navigator on the path of her own circumstances. She set a course and bi-passed life's more difficult trails. Her only brush with those other avenues was in her work, where she helped people who had lost control of their lives. Now, she found herself drowning in the deep, dark and cold waters of the world's more lonely places.

She turned the water off and let her hands rest on the walls of the shower. Her long brown hair formed a wet curtain around her face. Arizona had not called her. She wasn't overly worried about that fact. She remembered, all too well, the hours the other woman used to work. It was only twenty past eight. She slung her head back and let the excess water in her hair cascade down her back. Stepping out of the shower, she quickly wrapped a towel around her body walked to the bedroom suite.

A loud ringing rang through her ears when she opened her suitcase to grab a change of clothes. Wrapping the towel back around her body, she padded through the room quickly to answer the call of the phone.

"Yes?" she said, sounding as irritated as she felt.

"Ms. Clashe, there's an Arizona Robbins wishing to see you. Shall I send her up?"

Terri froze. A part of her had not actually expected the blonde to meet her. It was only half past eight. Arizona must have left the hospital and immediately made her way to the hotel.

"Ms. Clashe?" the voice on the other end of the phone asked.

"Send her up, yes." she replied quickly. Setting the phone back on the receiver, Terri ran back to the bedroom suite to get dressed. The devious side of her wondered what Arizona would do if she answered the door in only a towel. The mature and selfless side of her called her an idiot and demanded that she change quickly.

Throwing clothes out of her bag and onto the bed, Terri slipped a pair of gray yoga pants on. She was reaching for a t-shirt when she heard a knock at the door. Picking up a light green Northcentral University shirt, she bounded out of the room as she fought to get her arms through the sleeves.

She opened the door when she finally managed to get her arms in the shirt and met a startled pair of blue eyes.

Arizona opened her mouth to greet the woman on the other side of the door, but came up short. She had been nervous enough about coming to speak with Terri. After her fight with Callie, the blonde had been paged for an emergency appendectomy. Two hours later, with only an hour and a half left of her shift, the blonde had still not spoken with her girlfriend. After going over the early morning rounds, she'd spent the last ten minutes of her work day trying to find the ortho surgeon.

When she realized that her girlfriend didn't want to be found, Arizona had finally decided to leave for the day. She had wanted to find Callie so she could apologize and explain things to her. She hadn't meant the words she'd spoken earlier. After changing into her street clothes, she'd left the hospital to go and meet Terri. If she could talk with her ex and settle everything, then she could move on and work on repairing her current relationship.

Standing on the other side of Terri's hotel room, Arizona looked at her ex as she stood in the doorway. Her hair was wet. Judging by the messy tangles the dark hair was in, Arizona assumed she'd not had time to brush it yet. She had on a pair of loose fitting yoga pants and an olive green shirt that was currently wrapped around her chest where it came to a halt at her ribs. Terri's arms were barely through the sleeves.

The blonde couldn't help but stare at the lightly tanned and toned stomach of her ex. She could see the lines and contours of Terri's midsection as it flexed briefly to accommodate her maneuvering.

"Hey." Terri said as she finally managed to slide the top fully over her body. "Sorry, I wasn't expecting you so soon. Please, come in."

She stepped back to allow the blonde entrance. Arizona slowly walked into the room. Upon passing Terri, she realized another thing the woman hadn't changed. In addition to still wearing the same perfume, the brunette obviously still used the same body wash. Vanilla and Sandalwood by Victoria Secret. She cleared her head and walked across the room. A large cream colored sofa sat in front of a reddish-brown mahogany table. On opposite ends of the elegant table were two thickly cushioned recliners. Dark brown throw pillows sat atop the seating arrangements in sharp contrast.

In front of the coffee table was a massive fireplace. Where a fire should have burned, several white candles sat in its place. Above the mantle, a gold trimmed mirror hung with an ornate eagle carved into its top. Next to the faux fireplace were two ebony black executive chairs and behind the one on the left, a desk made of the same reddish-brown wood as the coffee table. Two floor to ceiling windows, complete with forest green curtains, cast light across the room from their places on the left and right of the desk. Arizona noticed a beautifully crafted wooden entertainment center behind the desk and to the left of the sofa. She knew that behind the lovely crafted doors was most likely a tv and dvd player.

She heard Terri closing the door behind her as she continued to take in her gorgeous and posh surroundings. Two lightly polished small tables sat on either side of the sofa where each supported a beautiful white table lamp. Behind the sofa was a long table that ran its length and atop it were several finely made glass structures. In the far left corner, bathed by two more windows, was a simple table with four red backed chairs. She looked to her immediate right and beheld an onyx black baby grand piano.

Turning away from the piano, she noticed a set of double wide doors opened up to the dining room. She could just barely make out a long dining table in the sunny room before the light reflected off the chandelier and caused her to turn away. Directly to her left against the wall was a three sectioned book case with three sets of glass doors adorning the front. She saw an opening the the case's left that appeared to lead to the bedroom and bathroom.

"Can I get you something to drink? I can order room service if you're hungry."

Arizona blinked when she heard the other woman addressing her. She removed her jacket and folded it across her arms.

Shaking her head, she cleared her throat and said, "Um, just coffee is fine."

The corner of Terri's mouth curled into a smile as she turned and walked to the desk in the right corner of the room. Arizona realized that a phone sat in the left pocket of the table. She watched as the brunette picked up the phone and idly played with its cord.

"Clashe, yes. We'd like some fresh coffee and an assortment of fruit brought up please. Thanks."

Terri hung the phone up and walked over to Arizona. She noticed the blonde flinch uncomfortably at her proximity.

"I'm not gonna bite, Zona. I was just going to take your jacket."

The blonde lowered her eyes in shame for a moment before handing her jacket to her. She wrapped her arms around herself as she continued to look around the room. Terri placed her jacket along the back of the sofa and sat down on it's left side.

"You can sit, you know?"

Arizona sighed and looked at the green-eyed woman.

"I'm more comfortable standing, Terri."

"Really? After a twelve hour shift, you want to come to my snazzy, and expensive I might add, hotel just so you can stand?"

The blonde let her arms around her body fall to her sides. She couldn't help the smile that ghosted across her features at the other woman's playful words. She decided to take a seat in the cream colored chair farthest away from Terri. Once seated, she rubbed her knees in a nervous gesture.

"So, I'm here. What did you want to talk about?"

Terri leaned forward slightly to tuck her legs under her body. Letting her right hand fall on the back of the couch, she sighed and placed her head in her hand.

"Straight to business, huh?"

"What else is there to discuss?" the blonde replied.

Terri's left hand came up in a 'shrug' gesture before falling back to her legs.

"What else? Seriously? Well, for starters, there's the fact that you haven't visited Hannah's grave since she passed away."

Arizona stood up from her chair and turned away from the tall woman sitting on the couch. She let her hands run through her hair and stay there.

"No, no, no. We're not going to talk about her, Terri. I can't. I thought I could, but-"

She heard Terri get off the sofa behind her.

"You never wanted to talk about her, Zona. Your reluctance to do so isn't going to bring her back. You can't just ignore the pain and hope it lessens over time."

Arizona turned back around and walked to the back of the chair she had, only moments ago, been sitting in. She placed her hands on the recliner and squared her shoulders.

"Yes, I can. Doing so keeps her alive in some small way."

Terri was standing by the table in front of the sofa. Her eyes were soft as she watched her ex.

"She isn't alive, Z. You need to come to terms with that. It's been two years and you're still in denial."

The blonde squeezed the back of the chair she was leaning against as she felt her stomach drop. Her head fell forward where it hung between her shoulders. Tears were demanding a release from her emotions and it was all she could do to keep from breaking down in that moment.

"Please, Terri. Please just leave it alone."

The next thing she knew, Terri was standing behind her and placing gentle hands on her shoulders. She stood up fully when she felt a slight tug from the other woman.

"Come on, Zona."

Arizona allowed herself to be guided to the front of the chair. "Sit down." she heard the brunette say.

Before either woman could continue their conversation, a knock at the door signaled the arrival of their breakfast. Terri patted Arizona's shoulder once before walking across the spacious room to open the door.

A young dirty blonde man with sandy colored eyes moved an elaborate cart into the room. A white lace cloth covered the silver cart and sitting on top of it were several beautiful plates, each with a different type of freshly cut fruit. Two steaming cylinders held the two woman's coffee and sat next to a couple of mugs..Terri noticed a couple of smaller dishes with, what looked like, fresh cream, sugar, heavy cream for their fruit and a possible fruit dip. She tipped the young man and closed the door behind him.

"You still take your coffee the same?"

Arizona turned in her chair and looked at the tray holding a satisfying looking breakfast. Terri caught her eye and quirked an eyebrow as she held a mug in one hand and a cylinder of black coffee in the other.

"Yes." the blonde said quietly.

She got up from her spot on the chair and walked over to the taller woman. Terri handed her a mug and looked over the different kinds of fruit.

"Sit down. I'll fix you plate." she said without looking at Arizona.

"Terri, just tell me why you're here. I appreciate all of this, but, just tell me. I doubt you came all this way just to try to get me to talk about Hannah."

The green-eyed woman dipped a strawberry into the heavy cream on her plate and brought it to her lips. Taking a bite, she allowed the full flavor of the cream to mix with the tart sweetness of the strawberry before swallowing.

"That's one of the reasons I came. I came to help you, Zona. I came to help myself."

"All of a sudden? You just woke up and...and what, Terri? Stop being so evasive and speak plainly to me. You know I hate it when you treat me like one of your patients."

Terri looked up at her and bit her lip. "Blast from the past."

Arizona sighed and sat her mug of coffee on the table in front of her chair.

"Terri, if you came here hoping to get me back, then I may as well leave now. I'm in love with Callie."

The brunette sat her plate on the silver cart and licked the cream from her lips.

"Wow, Zona. You just jump around from topic to topic trying to come to a conclusion. I'm not here to cause any trouble between you and your new girlfriend. I didn't come here on a whim, Arizona. Stop thinking about you for once and think about me."

The blonde's brows wrinkled in confusion. "What are you talking about?"

Terri walked over to Arizona and stepped into her personal space. The blonde felt her back hit the edge of the chair behind her before Terri placed her arms on either side of her body and let them rest on the cushion.

"What am I talking about? You left me, Zona! Your brother died, our daughter died. Hannah sat in that hospital and died! Then, when I needed you most, when I needed you for once, you left me! Did you even stop to think how I was feeling? I held you through every bad thing in your life, Arizona. I picked you up. I was your rock! I was strong for you because I loved you more than anything. I still love you more than anything."

Arizona's eyes were wide as she listened to her ex. She'd never seen Terri like this before. The other woman had always been calm and understanding and level-headed. She'd never seen her have an outburst. The words she was speaking were eye opening for the blonde. She'd never stopped to think about things from Terri's point of view. They made her feel awful.

"I let you go because I thought I was doing the right thing. You wouldn't let me help you, Z. You wouldn't let me in. You closed down and broke and changed right before my eyes. I was suffering and breaking, too, but I couldn't afford to show it. I had to be strong for you. I had to support you. I let you go because I thought you'd come back to me. I've waited two years, Arizona. Two years! I've not so much as even looked at another woman because I held out hope that the love of my life would return to me."

"Terri, I-"

"I had to believe that, Zona. The world couldn't give me everything and then take it away. I couldn't lose Danny and Hannah and you all in the same year. Things just couldn't be that horrible in real life."

Terri stepped away from the blonde but remained close. She studied Arizona's face as she fought to regain control of her emotions. She lowered her head when she felt the bridge that had been keeping things in check break. She was immediately flooded with anguish. A sob escaped her throat before tears ran down her face.

"Ter, I'm so sorry." Arizona said before catching the other woman and gliding them to the floor. She felt the brunette wrap her arms around her waist and bury her face in her neck. Tears streamed down her neck and burned into her soul. She was the cause of everything. She'd made Calliope cry and now, her past actions had made Terri break down.

She ran her hands down Terri's back in a soothing pattern trying to calm her. The woman's wet hair was sticking to her face as her body continued to shake. She moved her hands to the brunette's face and lifted her head up.

"Terri, I'm sorry. God, I'm so sorry." She let her fingers dry the taller woman's tears as her eyes searched her face. She noticed that, despite herself, her body was reacting to Terri's. She knew she wasn't in love with her ex anymore. She knew that what she was experiencing was only physical. Terri was her past. Calliope was her future. Despite everything, Arizona knew there was resonance where Terri was concerned.

"You're sorry?"

"Yes."

Terri scooted up her body and sniffed back her tears. Arizona's hands were still on her face and in her hair. She felt herself closing the distance between them before a voice stopped her.

"Ter, don't." Arizona said in a whisper.

Her forehead was against the blonde's and she could feel the other woman's breath against her skin. Her mind was telling her to listen to Arizona. It was telling her to respect the smaller woman's wishes. But, her body was telling her to fuck everything else. It was shouting at her to do what she wanted, for once. Shutting her mind off, Terri closed the distance between them and whispered, a breath away from the blonde's lips, "I can't help it, Zona."

She let her lips joyfully meet Arizona's.


	21. Chapter 21

**Chapter 21:**

She felt strong hands against her shoulders and started to rejoice. Arizona was going to kiss her back. She did still feel something for her. She knew they couldn't have been together for so long and had their kind of love and it not have meant something to the blonde.

When she felt her body being shoved, forcefully, she knew she had made the wrong assumption. She fell back on her knees and opened her eyes.

"Fuck...goddamn it. What the hell, Terri?" Arizona was frantically screaming at her as she tore herself off the floor. She was rubbing the fingers of her left hand over her forehead. Her right hand was digging painfully into her side as she fought to keep herself up right.

"Z-Zona, I-I'm, I didn't...Zona-" Terri stammered. She felt the full weight of what she had done impact with her body.

"Stop, fuck...stop calling me that. This isn't me Terri. I'm not this person. I'm not...I'm not a cheater. God, I'm going to be sick." the blonde said as she doubled over at the waist and rested her weight on her arms where they sat on her thighs.

Terri watched in horror as her ex fought with herself for control of the battle waging war within her. She hadn't meant to kiss Arizona. She'd had no intention of coming to Seattle to cause any problems. It had been in the heat of the moment and Arizona was familiar. In that moment, she'd not thought of what she was doing as cheating. Not for Arizona. In that moment she'd seen and felt and smelled someone who she had been love with for ten years. The other woman the blonde was with couldn't compare with that. Could she? The one time Terri had said 'fuck the consequences' was all it took for her to see she had made a huge err.

"I didn't mean that, Zo-Arizona. Please..."

Arizona raised herself and tried to breathe. Her chest was tightening and her heart was thrumming loudly in her ears. She was hyperventilating and she couldn't seem to calm herself down. When she looked back at Terri, she found the other woman was still in the floor watching her with a horrified expression.

"I love her, Terri."

The green-eyed woman was silent as she drew her knees up to her body.

Arizona took several long and deep breaths. Her throat felt raw and her insides hurt.

"I'm sorry that I did what I did. I'm sorry it hurt you. I really am. I woke up one day and my brother was gone, my child had been ripped from my arms, and I realized that what I was supposed to be feeling for you wasn't there anymore."

The smaller woman turned to face Terri and the brunette noticed tears in her eyes.

"I didn't go about things the best way and I hate myself for that. I hate that I couldn't be what you needed me to be. But, the past is the past, Terri. I'm happy now. I'm in love with someone so amazing. She helped me see myself. She's the reason I didn't curl up and die."

Terri lowered her eyes and studied the floor between her knees as she listened to the blonde. The words hurt. They hurt a lot. She wished that the blonde felt those things for her.

"I love her, Terri." Arizona whispered as her voice cracked. "I love her."

"I know, Arizona." Terri said looking up at her.

"I was only trying to comfort you, Terri. I didn't come here for this...any of this. When I look at you", she started in shaky tones, "when I remember your scent and our time together, I'm not thinking of you, Terri. You remind me of Hannah. You're a piece of her. Everything about you reminds me of...my baby."

The blonde turned away from the taller woman and ran her hands over her face. She sighed as a fundamental truth solidified within her.

"You remind me of her..." she said in a far away voice. Turning back to Terri, she met her eyes and continued.

"That's why I left you, Terri. When Hannah got sick, I pulled away from you. I tried to reconnect with you, but Hannah just got worse and worse and when she died, I found that my feelings for you had died with her. I couldn't stay with you having you remind me of what I lost everyday. That's why I left. I'm sorry."

Terri absorbed the blonde's words and locked her jaw. She stood from where she'd been on the floor and crossed her arms over her chest. There wasn't anything she could say. Arizona had spoken enough for both of them. She had given Terri what she needed. She'd given her an explanation and her closure.

She knew there were still things they needed to talk about, but she knew now wasn't the time to bring them up. Her silence sat on the air and battled with the volume of the blonde's words.

"Look, I have to go, Terri. I need to go see Calliope. I messed up with her and I need to fix that."

"Arizona, I'm sorry. But...did you feel nothing when I kissed you?"

Arizona placed her hands on her hips and cornered the brunette with her eyes. Terri was standing by the chair she'd been sitting in earlier. Her arms were wrapped across her body and she was nervously twitching from foot to foot.

"I felt nothing, Terri. We're over. We've been over for years. You're telling me to face Hannah's death? Face the fact that our relationship is finished. Move on, Terri."

With that, the blonde grabbed her jacket from the back of the sofa and proceeded to leave the room. When she passed by the brunette, Terri grabbed her arm.

"Does she really mean that much to you?"

Without missing a beat or needing to her ex to clarify, Arizona replied "She's the only thing that matters to me. She means everything, Terri."

She pulled her arm free from the taller woman's grasp and left the room in a rush. Terri stared at the door for long moments before walking to the couch. She flopped her body down heavily and licked her lips once. The beauty of her surroundings did nothing to lift her spirits or change her gloomy mood.


	22. Chapter 22

**Chapter 22:**

_"So, we'll stay in and we'll eat...sandwiches."_

_Callie listened to the beautiful blonde sitting in front if her. Her curly blonde hair was securely fastened with a clip and tucked neatly under her bright pink scrubcap. She couldn't believe how understanding Arizona was being. After almost throwing everything she was building with the peds surgeon away, Callie didn't expect this acceptance._

_"Huh, you don't even like sandwiches." she scoffed as she lowered her eyes briefly._

_She felt the smaller woman lean closer a fraction of an inch before, "I like the girl who has the sandwiches." When she looked up and saw the the blonde nodding her head as she broke out a full dimpled smile, she knew she was past falling in love with her. She was past thinking of the other woman as a "new adventure" or as someone to pass the time with. Though her mind told her to keep quiet, her heart begged her to voice its declaration. She was in love. She'd kissed a peds surgeon and now, she was in love with one._

_"Okay?" the blonde asked, eyes staring deep into Callie's soul._

_"No, you know what? I don't like sandwiches either. I like pizza." the ortho surgeon said after a breath. If they were going to try again then she wanted them to be themselves. She didn't want either of them having to go out of their way to please the other. She wanted them to be comfortable._

_"I like pizza, too." Arizona said in a playful voice before slightly turning her head and raising her eyebrows. She smiled a special smile at the latina. It was a smile meant only for Callie._

_Unable to respond verbally to the blonde, Callie continued to stare as an awed expression appeared on her face and erased her worries._

_She was in love and it felt...amazing._

Callie prided herself on her work. She loved her job and the rush that came with it. She enjoyed being able to help her patients and she lived for the thrill of the cut. Even when being a doctor was overwhelming, even when it was stressful, she loved it. Even when her personal life kicked her in the ass, she still found fulfillment in her profession.

When she'd become Chief Resident and had started to suspect George of cheating on her, she'd felt as if she had nowhere to turn. There was no one on her side. Her personal life, then, had threatened to ruin her career. In a strange turn of events Miranda Bailey, the person she'd been running against, the last person she'd expected to offer a shoulder, had turned to her and given her a helping hand.

When Erica and she had become friends and later became more, she'd been terrified by her feelings. She'd not known how to identify herself, let alone her budding romantic and physical attraction to the brusque heart surgeon. Callie had been scared and confused, but she'd had, not only Erica to talk with, but Addison as well. After the blonde doctor's unforeseen departure, Mark had carried her through her sorrows and when she'd felt as if she'd finally hit rock bottom, a stunning and perky young peds surgeon had kissed her in a bathroom.

Throughout all of her personal ups and downs, Callie had been surrounded by friends and people who were willing to show their support. Everything she'd gone through since, she'd had the love and constant companionship of Arizona.

Now, as she sat huddled in an empty patient room, she couldn't stop her girlfriend's words from replaying over and over in her mind. Addison wasn't here to listen to her. Mark was, most likely, at home asleep as was Bailey. The one person who was her unremitting and staunch support system was also the one person who had ripped her heart out and left her alone. In this one moment, Callie Torres didn't care about her job. She felt no joy or rush or excitement about the possibility of trauma or surgery.

She sat with her back against the door as her soul left her body through her tears. Her heart ached, her head was pounding, and the deep sinking feeling in her stomach was leaving her light-headed. She couldn't understand what had happened. She'd been supportive and had stood by the blonde through everything. She'd fought for her. She'd sacrificed for her. She'd given herself to her.

How had Arizona expected her to act? Should she have acted content about the blonde wanting to see her ex? Had she been selfish?

Callie swallowed back a sob that threatened to leave her mouth. She wiped her hand across her nose as her body continued to shake.

Even if she had been selfish, she couldn't believe that her lover had, basically, called her a whore. Arizona, her beautiful, charming, and perky Arizona had called her a whore. She'd stuck a knife in Callie's chest and cut her deep.

Standing up, Callie proceeded to quickly close the blinds around the room. She walked over to the hospital bed and pushed it against the door she'd previously been keeping company. Once she was secure in her modicum of privacy, she crawled into the bed and let her heart continue to cry. If an emergency came in, someone would page her.

* * *

It was ten after six when the strident sound of her pager awoke her. Callie jumped at the noise and nearly fell off the hospital bed she was lying on. She pushed her hair away from her face and glanced at the tiny device. Arizona.

She felt her heart skip a beat and double its pace at the thought of the blonde. She wished her heart would shut up. Her brain was trying, desperately, to remind her heart that it was sad. It was broken. It was in the state it was in because of the other woman.

Apparently, her brain and her heart spoke two different languages because the almost painful throbbing in her chest refused to cease. She didn't know why Arizona was paging her. It wasn't a 911 or anything medical for that reason. The peds surgeon had paged her using their code number. _514._ The day they'd met.

Callie sighed and continued to stare at the numbers displayed on her pager. Her girlfriend wanted to talk. Getting up from the bed, the tall latina ran her hands over her face and let them rest on either side of her mouth. She didn't know what to do. Part of her wanted to talk with Arizona. She wanted to know why she'd said something so awful to her. She wanted to know why she was so intent on meeting with Terri. She wanted to know if the blonde still loved her.

The other part of her wanted the small woman to suffer. She wanted her to have time to think about her actions, her words. She wanted Arizona to appreciate her. She looked back to her pager when it sounded again. _514_. Her pain was still too raw, too close to the surface. She couldn't talk with her girlfriend. Not now. Tossing the pager onto the bed, she walked over to the window and opened the curtains. Sitting on the inside ledge, she laid her head against the cool pane and let her thoughts drift.

_"I love you."_

_The words shocked her into silence. She stared at Arizona and felt her smile fading. Had she actually just heard the phrase she'd longed to hear? Had the blonde really just uttered the three most beautiful words in the world? To her? She felt her heart trying to stop and increase its pace at the same time._

_"You do?" she said in a small voice that was barely audible._

_Arizona was looking at her with veneration written across her features. Her curly hair was framing her face and her head was turned slightly as she watched the dark skinned woman's reaction._

_"I do." The blonde punctuated the words with a cock of her head._

_Silence stretched between them as they let the admission settle. Finally, when Arizona thought her heart would shatter, she heard her love respond in kind. "I love you, too."_

_It was all that was needed for her to cross the short distance between them and sit on the couch. They were in love. Callie wrapped her arms around her and felt the blonde rest her head beneath her chin. She was elated. She was convivial. She was exultant._

_Callie felt Arizona bend her head farther down her body. The blonde's lips were on the top of her breasts and her breath was causing a chill to run pleasurably down her spine._

_"I love you." She heard the whispered attestation only moments before Arizona placed a gentle kiss on the soft skin between her breasts. She pulled the other woman's head up and let their eyes meet. The blonde smiled at her as she reached up and tossed Callie's party hat across the living room._

_"Say it again, Ari."_

_The smaller woman scooted closer to her and threw her right leg over her hips. Balancing her weight on her knees, Arizona let her hands travel sensually across Callie's chest. She ran light fingers over a tanned collar bone and up a silky soft neck. Holding the back of the Latina's head, Arizona leaned against her until her lips were by the other woman's ear. She heard a hitch in Callie's breathing and it caused her to smile._

_"I love you."_

_Callie laughed softly as her heart soared and her soul was set free to meet its mate. The moment was perfect. The woman sitting across her lap was perfect. Their love was perfect._

_"Again" Callie said in a whisper. She was holding the smaller woman's body tightly to her own. One hand was in Arizona's hair while the other one was on the blonde's right forearm._

_Arizona blew hotly across her ear and placed a wet kiss on the sensitive flesh behind it._

_"I'm in love with you, Calliope."_

_The dark haired woman felt her chest contract before her tears of joy erupted from her._

* * *

_"I'm in love with you, Calliope."_

She jerked and hit her head against the window. Squinting her eyes once, she blinked several times to clear her vision. Looking to her left, Callie realized that she'd fallen asleep while staring outside. Her pager was sounding off on the bed where she'd tossed it. Sliding off the ledge, she crossed the room and picked up the small black object.

_'514'_

Checking her watch, she noted that it was nearly time for her shift to end. A lump formed in her throat. It was nearly time for Arizona to meet with Terri. She wondered if the blonde was going to follow through with the meeting or if she was just planning on going home. Was that why she was paging her? To let her know?

She rolled the bed back to its prior position and took a moment to compose herself. Clipping her pager back onto the waistband of her pants, she opened the door and exited the room. She didn't have the courage to send a page back to Arizona. She knew that if the blonde told her she was still going to see her ex, she'd have nothing good to say. She didn't want to risk her already broken heart on the chance that Arizona was choosing Terri over her.

Arriving at the nurses station, Callie passed off her charts to the attending on duty and briefed the residents and interns on her open cases. Lexie approached shortly thereafter and inquired about her disappearance.

"I wasn't feeling too well so I decided to do some research on the Matson case. I knew I'd be paged if there was an emergency."

"Oh, well, it's just that Arizona was looking for you. She seemed kinda, well, a lot worried." Lexie replied.

"She did?" Callie asked, her hopes rising.

Lexie looked slightly confused, but shook her head up and down.

"Yeah...but then she said something about needing to be somewhere and she bolted. I thought you guys were doing something, but you're here so you can't be doing something if you're not with her. Not that you need her to be doing something. I mean, there are certain things you'd need her for to qualify as doing something, but-"

"Thanks, Lexie." Callie said holding up and hand and quickly silencing the babble the younger Grey was starting. "I'll see you tonight."

When she left the hospital, she could barely contain her emotions. Arizona was going to see Terri. Despite knowing that her doing so was upsetting Callie, the blonde still chose to go and see her alone in her hotel room. It wasn't that Callie didn't want Arizona getting closure. Her anger about the situation was deeper than that. She was upset with her girlfriend for agreeing to meet her ex without talking more with her.

She'd barely given Callie time to react before she'd thrown her sexual history in her face and left Callie feeling broken and shattered. She knew that they both had suffered a lot the past week, but Arizona lashing out at her and expecting her to be all 'gung-ho' about the situation had left her utterly devastated.

She just wanted them to go back to being them. She was tired of the soap opera their life together had turned into. Before the raven haired beauty could adapt to one thing, another and larger piece of drama was being added to the mix. She hardly had time to process anything fully before life was throwing her another curve ball.

She stopped walking and wrapped her arms around her body. The sun was partially hidden from view by the heavy cloud cover that was blanketing the sky. Rubbing her hands over her arms, she felt a light mist starting to fall. 'Perfect.' she thought. Her girlfriend had called her a whore and gone to meet her ex in close quarters. She'd spent the last three and half hours of her shift holed up in an empty patient room and now it was starting to rain. Life sucked.

As the rain started to fall in heavier sheets, Callie continued to stand on the sidewalk where she'd stopped. She needed to wrap her mind around everything. She needed to try to find some sense of inner peace. She just needed a break. Turning to her right, Callie made a change of direction and proceeded quickly through the loud down pour of rain. She knew where she needed to go to find peace.

* * *

When she entered her apartment, her only thought was to get into the shower as quickly as possible. She wanted to wash the feeling of Terri's body off of her. Though the other woman had only kissed her, Arizona felt as if her scent was everywhere. She just wanted to shower, throw on one of Callie's shirts and make some coffee(plain ole coffee-not fancy ritzy hotel coffee) before calling Callie.

She dropped her purse by the door and stopped. The pictures that she'd left lying about her sitting area were gone. She knew for certain that she'd not had a chance to put them away. Panic rose sharply in her chest. Was there someone in her apartment?

Moving quietly, she stepped more fully into the living room and ran her hands along the wall behind her bookshelf. When she felt the hard smoothness of a handle, she wrapped her fingers around it and silently pulled the bat from its hiding spot.

She took a breath and scanned the room as she started a slow trek towards her hallway. Her heart was pounding in her ears and her grip on the bat was slipping as she felt her palms starting to sweat. When she approached her bedroom door, she wasted no time before slamming the door open and bringing the bat up to a swinging position.

When she met the startled and scared face of her girlfriend, she felt the bat drop from her hands. Callie was sitting on her bed with the photos from the living room spread out before her. The over-sized shirt she'd worn only yesterday was hugging her body.

"Calliope? Oh, god. I didn't know you were here. I-I thought someone had broken in." Arizona's words were ragged as the adrenaline started to rush from her system.

Callie remained silent and took in Arizona's appearance. She let her eyes travel over her face in an attempt to ascertain whether or not the other woman had something to hide.

"I tried to page you." the blonde said after the silence.

"Yeah, well I must have been busy. You know, sleeping with the _other_ half of the hospital." Callie's voice was harsh and when the smaller woman met her eyes, she was confronted with a hardened glare.

"Forgive me. I didn't mean that, Callie. I was just upset. There's been so much going on and-"

"Forgive you? You call me a whore and run off to your ex and you want my forgiveness?"

Arizona took a breath and could feel the tension building in her shoulders. She sucked her bottom lip between her teeth and lowered her eyes.

"I'm sorry. This entire week has been so crazy. I don't even feel like me anymore, Calliope. I lashed out at you. I took my frustrations out on you and that was wrong. I can never take that back but I can try to make it up to you."

She raised her eyes and saw the Latina studying her with intensity.

"What did you and Terri talk about?" she asked.

The blonde visibly tensed at the question. A panic stricken expression ghosted across her face before she managed to cover up the reaction. Callie's eyes went wide upon seeing it and she rose quickly from the bed.

"No, please..._¿Te acostaste con ella?"_

Arizona didn't know what the Latina had asked her. Callie's cheeks and nose were turning red as she obviously fought to hold in her tears. Her hands were covering her face while she stared at Arizona.

"Calliope...my talk with Terri accomplished what it needed to. I let her know that-"

"Answer me...did you sleep with her, Arizona?"

The blonde held a breath as she watched various emotions race across Callie's face. A part of her was appalled that the other woman could even ask that, let alone think it. Didn't her girlfriend know that she would never cheat on her? That she loved her with all her heart? The other part of her mentally slapped her across the face. Of course her lover would think that. She was well within her rights to ask the question. Arizona had hurt her. In essence, she'd already cheated on Callie by choosing to speak with Terri.

She must have remained silent for some time while she had her inner debate because the next thing she knew, Callie was crying loudly as she tried to breathe.

_"Oh dios mío ... no no no. Esto no puede estar pasando. No a usted. No es así, también."_

Arizona only caught a few words. Between the Latina's tears and the pace in which she spoke the Spanish, the blonde was unable to understand everything her girlfriend was saying. But, it didn't take a genius to get the gist of it all. Callie thought she had cheated on her. She crossed the distance between her bedroom door and the bed that the dark skinned woman had fallen back onto. Callie backed away when she reached for her.

"No..."

"Calliope-"

"Just leave me alone. Go back to her if she's who you want. Just...go." The taller woman was beside herself with grief. She was overcome with anguish and sorrow. Her hands were slapping at the blonde's as the other woman tried in vain to comfort her.

How dare her try to console her when she had cheated on her!

"I don't want her, Calliope. I want you. Please, calm down and let me-"

"No! I can't do this. Don't touch me!"

"Calliope! I didn't sleep with her, damnit!" Arizona yelled in frustration. She hated being so blunt and so forceful, but Callie wasn't letting her speak. The wrists she'd managed to get a hold of went slack in her hands and fell to Callie's chest. She kept her hands on the other woman's skin and let her breathing return to normal. Callie's tears were slowing their pace and she had stopped fighting with the smaller woman.

Arizona placed a knee on the bed beside her girlfriend and allowed her weight to come to rest on it as she gently settled herself. Her body was to the right of Callie's and she could smell the clean scent coming from the other woman. She was relieved that her lover didn't make a move to put any space between them.

"I didn't sleep with her, Calliope." she said softly. "I'd never do that to you."

Callie remained quiet but her eyes were watching Arizona's face for any traces of duplicity.

"I love you." The blonde's voice broke as she let her fingers softly graze Callie's face. She didn't know how to say what she knew she needed to say. There was so much she needed Callie to hear. So much she needed her to know. She didn't know where to start.

"I don't like this, Calliope. I want us to go back to being us. This is why I didn't want you knowing any of this. It's been one thing after another. I hate it."

Callie's expression softened somewhat. She reached up and placed her hand over the blonde's fingers that were on her face. She noticed that Arizona's fingers were trembling at her touch.

"What happened with you and Terri, Arizona?" she asked.

The peds surgeon smiled sadly before her eyes turned upward and she focused her gaze on the ceiling. Taking a deep breath, she licked her lips nervously and looked back at Callie.

"I went to her hotel and asked her what she wanted to talk about." Her words were jerky and it was obvious to Callie that she was having difficulty speaking them. The Latina let their hands fall from her face where they landed in her lap.

"She started trying to psychoanalyze me about not accepting and coming to terms with Hannah's death." The blonde's tears started to fall and her nose started to run at the mention of her daughter. She bit her lip and looked skyward again in an attempt to stop the tears.

"I told her that I didn't want to talk about Hannah. The next thing I knew, she was attacking me about leaving her without so much as a goodbye." Arizona then proceeded to recount her ex's words to Callie. She explained to the other woman that Terri had been right to be upset.

"When she started crying, I felt awful Callie." Arizona said looking back to her, "Terri doesn't cry. I didn't know what to do, so I tried to comfort her. Before I knew what was happening, she was leaning forward to kiss me. I begged her not to, but she just said she couldn't help it. Then, she kissed me."

Callie didn't know what to feel. The biggest part of her wanted to find Terri and kick her ass. She wanted to tell the other woman what she thought of her and tell her to get the hell out of Seattle and out of their lives. But, a part of her could understand where the green-eyed woman had been coming from. If it had of been her that Arizona had up and left, Callie wasn't sure that she would not have acted the same way as Terri. The situation was complicated. She was relieved that the blonde had not cheated on her. Her body didn't feel as cold and hollow as it had moments ago.

"Did you kiss her back?" she asked in a whisper.

Arizona caught her gaze. She moved in the bed so she could sit indian style and reached for Callie's hand. The Latina copied her actions and the two of them soon found themselves face to face. The blonde's fingers tenderly held Callie's as she brought her blue eyes back to brown.

"No" she said simply.

Callie released a ragged breath and smiled slightly. She felt her heart start to beat again.

"Did you want to?" Callie asked lowering her eyes to their hands.

"No, Calliope. I shoved her off of me and threw a fit. I let her know that I didn't feel anything for her...that we were over." She squeezed the hand in her own and scooted closer. The blonde lowered her head so she could catch her girlfriend's gaze as she brought her right hand to Callie's chin and forced her to meet her eyes.

"Hey, listen to me. If you never listen to another word I say, listen to me now, okay?"

The dark haired woman nodded her head and Arizona continued.

"I love you more than anything. I know people say that, but I think few of them really understand what it means. I'd sacrifice anything and everything for you, Calliope. You're my reason. Do you get that? You're my reason for being here. You're my reason for living. You're my reason for not giving up. You mean...everything, everything in the world to me. I want to spend the next 50 years waking up next to you. I want to see you excited about your research. I want to be by your side when anything good happens and I want to hold you when you cry when something bad comes along."

Callie didn't know what to say. It was so rare that Arizona let her see this side of her. She was afraid to say or do anything out of fear that the other woman would stop herself from saying the things she was saying.

"You make me hope, Calliope. You allow me to dream. When I'm with you and I look at our life together and think of our future, anything is possible. I'd give up my job, my life here, anything you wanted...for you. Nothing else matters to me if I don't have you. You make all the other things in my life have meaning...you're my reason."

Arizona shook her head and shrugged her shoulders in an effort to get her words across. She didn't know what else she could say. Her heart knew what she meant. She just couldn't seem to translate that into proper words. Callie's face was unreadable and it was making her nervous. It wasn't like the other woman to be so quiet.

"I told Terri all of this...pretty much. You're it for me, Calliope Torres. " She brought her hand back to Callie's face and turned her head so she could look her in the eyes.

"Do you still love me?" The words her softly spoken and Callie thought they were hauntingly beautiful coming from Arizona's melodic voice.

Of course she still loved her. How could she not? Even if the blonde had chosen to go back to Terri's hotel in that exact moment, she still would have loved her. She'd experienced the true meaning of love with Arizona. There was no coming back from that. She knew she would always love the other woman. Arizona wasn't just her soulmate, she was her soul.

She let the silence swallow the two of them as she searched her lover's face. There was nothing staring back at her that led her to believe that Arizona was anything but serious and truthful. The blonde did love her.

"Yes. Yes, of course I still love you, Ari." Callie said, her words thick with emotion. She brought her hands to the blonde's hair and tangled them in wavy locks. Letting her head rest against Arizona's, she said, "I couldn't stop loving you even if I wanted to."

The two of them held onto to each other as they both let their emotions finally overcome them. Exhausted, hot tears spilled from both their eyes and with them they both let go of their insecurities and heartache. Pictures from Arizona's past surrounded the two of them, creating a beautiful dichotomy of sorts.

Outside, the rain continued to cry from the heavens with its torrential down pour. Thick dark clouds hung to the sky suffocating the sun while occasional thunder clapped loudly against a celestial empire. Lightening hissed in painful arcs as it lit up the darkened sky and inside a small apartment, two women held each other as the storms passed over them.


	23. Chapter 23

** Chapter 23:**

_She knew something was wrong when she approached the door. There was a presence in the air that made her heart feel heavy. She wasn't one to believe in a sixth sense, but she knew there was something as she neared the door. Her hands, one holding a plastic cup of coffee, were shaking with an unknown disquiet. She'd been with Hannah the past three nights. Her daughter's condition had been on a steady decline and her doctors had told both she and Terri to prepare themselves._

_She always hated that phrase. How does one prepare themselves for death? How does a person come to terms with a loss before it happens? She knew, as a doctor herself, that it was a phrase she'd been forced to use. It, somehow, felt different being on the other side of the words. Terri had been telling her since they got the news that she needed to accept the facts. She'd told Arizona to try not to hold out any hopes of a miracle. The blonde had bucked everything her girlfriend and her daughter's doctors had told her. She knew Hannah was sick. There was no denying that. But, Arizona couldn't see a future without her daughter in it. She couldn't imagine not teaching her to ride a bike or sending her off on her first day of school. Hannah would make a come back. She would fight and she would survive. Arizona had to believe that._

_As she continued her walk to her daughter's room, she felt as if she were in a trance. The white noise of the hospital seemed to fade away. The nurses and doctors and visitors in the hallway all blended together and become a part of the walls. All the blonde could see was the door to Hannah's room. Everything slowed down and the only sound she could hear was that of her own heart beating loudly in her ears._

_'There's nothing wrong' she told herself. 'You just stepped out to get some fresh air and grab a coffee. There's nothing wrong.' She repeated the words until she found herself standing in front of the door. She reached for the handle and noticed her hand was shaking almost uncontrollably. She squatted, took a breath, and placed her coffee against the wall before standing again._

_When she reached for the handle, the door swung open and she met the sad face of her girlfriend. Terri's eyes were red and puffy from her unshed tears and when she saw Arizona, she shook her head as a ragged breath left her body._

_"Zona, she's-I'm sorry, baby."_

_Arizona stepped back when the brunette reached for her. Her face was one of disbelief. Though the truth was standing in front of her, she couldn't seem to make it real. She felt as if she was standing outside of her body. Everything was numb._

_She took a breath and ran her hands through her hair. Inside her, she felt her heart break. It wasn't figurative. She grabbed her chest and dropped to her knees. Her eyes were unfocused and everything hurt. This couldn't be happening. She must have been dreaming. There couldn't be this much pain in the world. How was she supposed to survive?_

_She felt gentle hands on her shoulders and looked up into green eyes. Terri's tears were falling freely. She helped the blonde to her feet. Around them, nurses and doctors rushed inside the room to verify what they all knew. Hannah was gone. Arizona fought against Terri's grip. She had to see her. They were wrong. Her little girl wouldn't give up._

_"Zona-"_

_"Let me go, Terri. She isn't-she can't be. Not my Hannah, please...p-please no." Her body was shaking and her voice was harsh. Everything was a struggle. She couldn't breathe. She couldn't think. She couldn't stand upright. Nothing made sense. Nothing mattered anymore._

_The nurses and Dr. Hasburn came out of the room, all wearing morose expressions. The tall male attending shook his head._

_"I'm so sorry."_

_He was sorry? Her daughter was dead and he was sorry? Was that meant to make her feel better? Was it meant to ease her suffering? He was sorry? Hannah, her baby girl, her joy was gone. The light of her life had been snuffed out and he was sorry? The child she had carried for nine months and given birth to was no longer in her life and Dr. Hasburn was sorry? Her Hannah, her forever, the little girl she'd nurtured and cared for for five years was lying dead in the room behind him and he had the audacity to express his sorrow?_

_She pushed Terri away from her and shoved the older man aside. She heard Terri come up behind her._

_"Zona, you don't want to see her like this. Talk to me."_

_She barely heard the words of the other woman. Standing just inside Hannah's room, the blonde could see her daughter's bed to her right. The curtain around the hospital bed had been pulled closed and it caused a hitch in her breathing. A pain-stricken expression colored her face as she brought her hands to her mouth._

_"Leave me alone, Terri. All of you, just leave me alone." she said quietly._

_"Arizona, I really am so very sorry. We'll give you a few minutes, but if you need anything, just let me kn-"_

_Her reserve broke at the man's words. She could no longer keep calm. A good man in a storm she'd been raised to be, but one person could only take so much. She was raised to protect the things she loved and she'd failed at that. The person she loved more than her own life was lying lifeless in front of her. Her girlfriend had been treating her like a patient for two years and the man she'd entrusted her daughter's life to was offering his aid when he had nothing she wanted. The one thing she needed more than the very air she was breathing, he couldn't give her._

_She spun around as her tears finally started to fall._

_"I don't want to hear how sorry you are. My child is dead. I trusted you. I trusted you for two years."_

_"Zona, don't-"_

_"Enough, Terri." She inhaled a shaky breath as her reality hit her. Hannah was gone. Her tiny little human would never say her name again. She would never tell Mommy secrets or fall asleep in her arms again. The truth of the realization was crushing to the blonde. She grabbed her sides and bent over at the waist._

_"I can't accept this. Oh, god. I c-can't." she cried._

_Terri stepped into the room as Dr. Hasburn and the nurses left the two of them alone. Arizona's tears were pooling at her feet and her sobs shattered the quiet of the room. She couldn't seem to find the strength to stand. She remained bent over as she tried to catch her breath through her tears. The silence that engulfed her solidified the truth. There were no beeping machines monitoring Hannah's life signs. Not anymore._

_Terri closed the door and leaned against it as her own tears stained her cheeks. Seeing her girlfriend in such pain broke the green-eyed woman. She felt helpless and useless._

_"Zona, what can I do to help?" she asked softly. She needed to do something. Anything._

_The blonde slowly stood back up and Terri's breath caught in her throat. Arizona didn't even look like herself. The obvious torment, distress, and misery her girlfriend was in left her face a shade of what it used to be._

_"You can leave, Terri."_

_Terri scoffed. "What?"_

_"You can leave me alone. Just go. Go home. I can't take you being here." The blonde said the words calmly as she made her way over Hannah's bedside._

_"Zona, you don't need to be alone right now." Terri pushed herself off the door and took a step towards the smaller woman._

_Arizona sat down in the chair next to her daughter's bed. Looking back at Terri, she said "What I need right now, Terri, is to be with Hannah. Go home. Let me be with her." The last of her words were said in a near silent whisper._

_Terri looked from her girlfriend's face to her daughter's bed. The curtain was still pulled closed and Arizona had her hand on the edge. Her tears were still falling down her beautiful face and her body was still shaking from her sobs._

_"Alright, Z. If you need me, call me."_

_"Just go, Terri." Arizona said without looking up._

_"I love you, Arizona." Terri turned back to the door and opened it. She shot one last look over her shoulder. Her girlfriend was still holding the curtain while her eyes fought a losing battle with her tears. She waited for the other woman to say something._

_"Just go, please." It wasn't what she had been hoping to hear. She sighed, nodded her head to herself and left the room. Once outside the door, she slid down the wall and came to rest on the floor. Bringing her face to her hands, she let herself go and let her pain overcome her._

_Inside the room, Arizona fought an internal battle. Her heart was telling her that Hannah couldn't really be gone. It was telling her that when she pulled back the curtain, her daughter would laugh at her and say 'Boo!'. Her brain, on the other hand, was demanding that she stop setting herself up for more pain. It was trying to prepare her for what she knew she would see. It was telling her to say goodbye._

_She sat in the chair for an undetermined amount of time. Her tears had long since stopped falling. She cried until she was hoarse. Her eyes were stingy and swollen and her nose was red and sore. Taking a breath, she stood from the chair she'd been sitting in. With shaky hands, she grasped the curtain again and pulled it back swiftly._

_A gasped sob escaped her mouth and tears she thought she'd exhausted spilled hotly from her eyes._

_Hannah, small, beautiful and perfect Hannah looked to Arizona as if she were sleeping. Her features were peaceful and if the blonde used her imagination, she could pretend that the child would awaken at any moment. She sniffed and brought trembling fingers to her daughter's forehead. She was cold._

_Arizona leaned down and tenderly kissed Hannah's nose and her cheeks. She hurt. So much. Crawling onto the bed, she pulled the sheets back and settled next to her child. Once situated, she pulled the covers back over their bodies._

_"Hannah, baby...you weren't supposed to leave me. You were my forever." She raggedly whispered the words into her daughters hair._

_"Come back...p-please come back to me. I can't live without you, Dims. I love you."_

_Her words eventually slurred as her sobs overcame her once again. As she laid next to her daughter and cried, the blonde wondered how she'd ever be happy again. She questioned if she'd ever have a reason to smile again, a reason to live again._


	24. Chapter 24

**Chapter 24:**

She awoke suddenly from her nightmare. It had been months since she'd had the dream. Ever since confessing her love to Callie, the bleak images that haunted her sleep from a distant past had remained on the edges of her subconscious. She pushed her curls from her face and looked to her left. Callie was sprawled out atop the sheets in a deep slumber. Her dark hair fell about her face in ebony waves. Arizona let her fingers twirl a lock of her girlfriend's hair as she watched her sleep.

The two of them must have drifted off sometime earlier. The last thing the blonde remembered before her nightmare was asking the other woman if she still loved her. Everything seemed, in her mind, to have transpired long ago. She sat up in the bed and realized that the photos Callie had been looking over were now neatly stacked in the box she'd originally taken them out of. She sighed and glanced over Callie's sleeping form to the clock on the nightstand behind her. 1:17 pm.

She'd barely slept at all. The nightmare about Hannah had left her feeling more tired than she'd felt before falling asleep. Propping her body against her pillows, Arizona let her left hand softly run along Callie's left arm. The latina was on her side with her arms and legs spread out against the blonde. The smaller woman always found a sense of amusement when it came to her lover's sleeping habits.

Her mind jumped from topic to topic, memory to memory. For several minutes, she allowed her brain to be sporadic; never processing any one thought for too long.

_"Mom, Dad...I-Wow, I never thought I'd be having this conversation with you both." She stammered over her words as she tried to order her thoughts. The older female Robbins smiled knowingly as she looked from a pair of blue eyes to a pair of green._

_"Just pretend that you're not having this conversation with us and say what you came to say, dear." Diedre said with an impish glint in her eyes._

_Arizona laughed nervously and placed her hand in Terri's. Gathering strength and courage from the simple gesture, the blonde tried again._

_"Mom, Dad...we're pregnant..."_

* * *

_"You're a pediatrician! How have you never had the-"_

_"No, I am a pediatric surgeon. I don't do little diseases on little people. I do big surgeries on...little people."_

_Callie scratched her head as she removed herself from the hospital bed._

_"Uh, you know what? This is...ridiculous. I'm going home."_

_"No, no, no...hey hey hey hey hey! You're not going anywhere. You're highly contagious right now. You leave this room and you're going to touch door knobs and elevator buttons and then you'll be the...outbreak monkey."_

_"I'm going to kill you" Callie said as she proceeded to scratch a nasty itch at the base of her neck._

_"I love you. Stop scratching cause you're just going to make it worse and then you're gonna scar."_

* * *

_"Say Mommy...come on. Don't disappoint me and say Mama first."_

_Hannah was sitting in her high chair kicking her feet and waving her hands in the air. Her smile was infectious and Arizona couldn't help the laugh that escaped her throat._

_"Mom-my...no? Nothing?"_

_She was sitting on the kitchen island next to Hannah's chair holding a small jar of baby food. Hannah had been making sounds and gurgles and attempts at speech for a few days now. Terri and Arizona had a small wager on which version of 'mother' their daughter would say first. So far, the farthest Hannah had gotten was "Ma". Anything after that could go either way._

_"Ma" Hannah squealed as she watched her mother in front of her. Arizona brought the spoon in her hand to her daughter's mouth and smiled._

_"You know, we can come to an agreement of her our own, Hannah." she said wiping her daughter's chin with a damp cloth. The little girl bounced in her chair and waved her hands in front of her face._

_"Say 'Mommy' first and I'll make sure you have a really, really nice car come your 16th birthday...huh?" Delicate golden eyebrows gently raised as the blonde attempted to bribe her 7 month old daughter._

_Hannah only cooed and continued to bounce in her highchair. She could care less about cars or birthdays or forming words. The only thing the light haired little girl was concerned with was being fed._

_Clapping her small hands in front of her, Hannah opened her mouth expecting another bite._

_"Ma!" Arizona smiled at her daughter and accepted defeat. She brought the spoon back to Hannah's mouth and sighed._

_"Ma, huh? Maybe I should have named you Dorothy since you seem so intent on being a Golden Girl. "_

* * *

_"Still wanna call me a newborn?" Callie asked, out of breath as she fell back on the bed._

_Arizona inhaled heavily through her nose and placed a hand on her chest._

_"No, I think it's safe to say that you are most definitely NOT a newborn, Calliope Torres." Her body was humming with the aftershocks of her orgasm. Every nerve ending in her body was sending pleasurable waves up and down her frame as she tried to recover._

_Callie laughed and rolled over so that her body was slightly on top of the blonde's. She let her left hand trail down Arizona's chest._

_"I can't get over how soft you are." she said softly._

_The smaller woman linked her fingers together with Callie's and smiled._

_"It's part of the awesome package that is me." she joked._

_The Latina smirked and allowed her hand to continue to trace light patterns across Arizona's skin. When she came to a hardened nipple, she looked into blue eyes. The blonde was watching her and her actions and Callie could have sworn she saw her eyes darken with arousal._

_"You know what's really awesome?" the Latina asked in a low and husky voice._

_Her fingers pinched the blonde's taut peak and the pleasurable gasp that floated to her ears caused her body to react instantly._

_"What?" Arizona asked in a sigh of a breath._

_Callie leaned forward and placed her lips against her girlfriend's mouth. Speaking in a sultry tone, she said, "What's really awesome is having you scream my name in ecstacy."_

_Before Arizona could come up with a witty retort, Callie lowered her mouth to her nipple and licked around the pebbled nub._

_"Don't worry, Ari. You'll be really awesome really soon."_

* * *

"You're thinking so loudly you're making it difficult to sleep."

Startled from her errant thoughts, Arizona jumped slightly at the sleep-heavy voice coming from her left. She looked down and was greeted by a concerned pair of dark eyes.

"Hey you. I'm sorry." She leaned over and gently kissed Callie's temple. "Go back to sleep."

The taller woman moved and rested her weight on her right arm. With her left arm, she reached a hand to the blonde's face. Her fingers grazed tenderly across Arizona's jaw.

"What's wrong? Why are you not asleep with me?" she asked.

Arizona looked lost for a moment. Her first instinct was to tell her girlfriend that nothing was wrong. She didn't want Callie having to deal with anything else that had to do with her. The other woman had been so supportive and so loving. Arizona didn't want to upset her anymore than she already had. The other part of her knew that she needed to start opening up more with her lover. She had promised not to shut Callie out when it came to matters of her past.

Sighing heavily, the blonde locked gazes with her girlfriend and replied, "I had a nightmare. Couldn't sleep."

She felt Callie adjusting herself in the bed as she sat up. Long, tanned fingers reached for her hand.

"Come here." Callie whispered to Arizona.

The blonde complied and her girlfriend quickly wrapped her fingers around her own and pulled her to her body. Arizona soon found herself with her back to Callie's chest. The latina was warm and soft and her close presence instantly made the smaller woman feel better. She felt her lover pulling the comforter around their bodies before strong arms locked themselves around her waist. Callie laid her head against Arizona's neck and started to gently sway their bodies.

"Better?"

The blonde smiled and squeezed the arms around her middle. Her girlfriend was amazing. Even though she had been hurt, Callie was still here. She still had not run away. She was still standing by Arizona. She still loved her.

"Hmm, much." the peds surgeon answered.

Callie kissed her shoulder and sighed.

"Good. Tell me about your nightmare."

The fair-haired woman was silent for a moment. The comforting weight of the body behind her own and the gentle rocking motion from that body was making her nightmare appear fuzzy in her mind. Callie's heart was beating a gentle, steady thrum against her back and the smell of her body wash was invading Arizona's senses.

"It was about Hannah." she said after a time. "About the day she died."

Callie tightened the hold her arms had around the blonde's stomach and turned her head so that her lips could place a light kiss on Arizona's ear.

"I'm so sorry, baby. That must have been unimaginable."

The smaller woman said nothing. She leaned back against the body behind her and sighed. It had been unimaginable. It had been the most raw and painful day of her entire life. Her heart and soul had died that day. Arizona had not thought she'd ever live again. She'd been wrong. Her heart had started to beat again the first day she'd seen a tall, attractive ortho resident. Her soul had come to live in her body once more when she'd kissed a firey and stunning latina in a bar bathroom. She had been made whole and come back to life the moment she'd heard ,"I love you, too" from full ruby lips. Callie had saved her. She was her reason for everything.

"Can I tell you something?" the blonde asked quietly.

Callie rubbed her cheek softly across Arizona's neck and said, "You can tell me anything."

The peds attending laced her fingers with those around her waist and studied the head board of the bed for a moment.

"When I'm with you and I remember Hannah...anything to do with her, it doesn't feel so unimaginable. It still hurts and I think it always will, but it doesn't seem so overwhelming when you're with me."

Releasing a breath, the dark haired woman smiled and hugged the body in her arms tighter.

"I'm glad, Ari. I'm glad that I can help you." After a breath, Callie asked, "Can I ask you something?"

Nodding her head, Arizona turned slightly so she could see her girlfriend's face. Callie took the opportunity to lean forward and softly kiss the blonde's lips. She let her nose nuzzle her lover's before asking, "Why did you say it?"

Blonde eyebrows scrunched in confusion. "Say what?"

Callie sat back, the comforter falling away from their bodies, and Arizona turned to face her. The raven haired woman's eyes were downcast and her fingers were playing nervously with the sheet between her legs.

"Why did you say what you did about me and who I've been with?" She brought her eyes back up to meet blue.

Arizona look horrified and lowered her gaze. She knew her girlfriend would have eventually asked the question. She knew Callie would expect an explanation. Running her left hand through her hair, she sighed and bit her lip.

"Because I'm an idiot and I was scared."

"You were scared? Of what? Me?" Callie questioned.

The smaller woman in front of her swallowed several times and found a deep interest with the ceiling. She could tell Arizona was having difficulty in coming up with a way to say what she needed to.

"Yes, I was scared of you. I've been scared of you since I met you."

"Why?"

"Because you control me, Calliope. You have the power to make or break me."

Callie stared at her lover. She couldn't make sense of the words she was hearing. The blonde's eyes were no longer on the ceiling. They were focused on her. Laughing nervously, the Latina shook her head and exhaled deeply.

"I don't...what are you talking about, Ari?"

Instead of providing an answer, the blonde posed a question of her own.

"Do you really love me? Or are you just in love with being in love?"

What kind of question was that? Callie felt as though she'd taken a wrong turn somewhere in their conversation. Somehow, her simple question had opened up a not so simple insecurity issue.

"Arizona-"

"Because, you've loved a lot of people, Callie. I'm not judging, okay? I'm not. You have a huge heart and I love that about you. I just...don't know if I'm different from all the others. I don't know if you feel any differently about me than you did with George or Erica or Mark or Alex or-"

"Stop."

The blonde closed her mouth mid-sentence and let her eyes travel across Callie's features. She didn't look upset or angry or mad. If anything, the other woman looked confused. Her eyes were boring into Arizona's as a smile graced her lips.

"You're so dense sometimes, Arizona. You really don't know if you're any different from Mark or Alex? Alex was a one time way to release some sexual energy. We've all been there and down that. Mark? Mark was a mistake. He was...convenient when I was feeling down. I wasn't in love with either of them, Arizona."

The blonde lowered her eyes as she processed her girlfriend's words. She felt silly after hearing Callie's explanation. She knew deep down that Mark and Alex had meant nothing to the latina in the larger scheme of things. Though Mark was her best friend and Alex a close co-worker, Arizona knew that the two men had meant little, emotionally, to Callie. She brought her eyes back to her lover's.

"Okay, point taken." she said, "But, George and Erica-"

"Were still nothing compared to you. I wanted to be in love. I wanted to be in a relationship. George was sweet and I thought he could give me what I wanted. I loved him, but I know, now that I wasn't as in love with him as I should have been. I was trying to manifest a feeling that wasn't there. As for Erica? Well, things were so crazy and over so quickly that I really don't know if I was in love with her or not. She opened up a new way of seeing myself, Ari, but she wasn't you. You want to know if you're different from George and Mark and Alex and Erica?"

The blonde nodded her head and kept her eyes locked with Callie's.

"You're different because you're the only person I've ever actually been in love with. I cared for all the others in some way. But, you? I've never felt anything like this with anyone but you, Ari. I'm not looking for a quick sexual fix with you. I'm not using you because I'm confused about my sexual identity. I'm not fucking you because I'm horny and I'm not trying to make you into anything that you're not. I'm with you because I'm crazy about you. I'm with you because I love to be around you. You pick me up when I'm sad. You carry me through my bad times. You make me laugh and believe that everything will be okay."

Arizona sniffed as tears welled up in her blue eyes. Callie was giving her exactly what she needed. She was telling her everything her heart wanted to hear.

"You're different, Arizona, because I'm in love with who you are in every way. I'm not confused when I'm with you. I'm not trying to find myself because I found me when you kissed me. I don't need quick romps with Mark or Alex anymore because you blow them out of the park, Ari. I've never been more sexually fulfilled with anyone. I don't need anything or anyone else because everything I want is...you.

The smaller woman didn't know what to say. Callie had healed her in every way. Her words, her love, meant everything to the blonde. She crossed the small space between them and attacked Callie's lips with her own. Her tongue parted her lips and met Callie's. The other woman opened her mouth and the blonde immediately shoved her tongue inside. She let her hands run through her girlfriend's hair and roughly grasp her head.

The Latina's hands held onto the blonde's hips as she fought for control of their kiss. She felt as though the two of them had finally had some emotional break through. She'd never thought that they could be closer than they had been, but with the fervor that Arizona was kissing her, Callie knew she had been wrong. Never in her life had the ortho attending been so happy to have been so wrong.


	25. Chapter 25

**Chapter 25:**

Terri paced the floor at the end of her bed. Dressed in only a pair of boxers and a wife beater, the tall and lean brunette argued with herself over her current set of choices. She'd been going stir-crazy, for lack of a better term, since Arizona had stormed out of her hotel the previous day. Everything had been so surreal when the blonde had come to visit her. It had felt to Terri as if the two of them had never been apart.

She'd realized that her feelings for the peds surgeon had not lessened over time like she'd originally thought. Sharing the same space with Arizona had brought back a plethora of emotions for Terri. She'd wanted only to reconnect with her former love. They'd been together for seven years. They'd raised, and then lost, a child together. At the time, the green-eyed woman couldn't fathom how Arizona's current girlfriend could compare to their history.

Stopping her pacing, Terri opened her suitcase and grabbed a loose fitting and very well worn pair of jeans. She tossed a few tops and blouses onto the bed before finally deciding on a dark blue button up shirt. Opting to wear the button up shirt over her wife beater, Terri sat down on the end of the bed and sighed as she ran her hands through her hair.

She'd not come to Seattle to cause problems or to try to win Arizona back. All she'd wanted was a chance at closure. When she'd seen her ex at the hospital, feelings she'd thought long buried had resurfaced with a vengeance. Part of her had been sure that the blonde would welcome her advances, but when she'd felt the resistance from the smaller woman and heard the vehemency in her voice, Terri had known where Arizona stood.

Standing from the bed and walking to the large chest of drawers to the right of the bedroom door, the brunette picked up a small box and smiled sadly. She'd made her decision. For nearly a decade of her life, she'd sacrificed for one, Arizona Robbins. She'd kept her own wants and needs at bay to allow for the love of her life to have what she desired. Holding the small box whose contents were a reminder of a better time, Terri knew this act would be no different from all the others she'd made in her life.

Arizona, Zona, was no longer hers. She'd ceased to belong to Terri the day their daughter passed away. Though the tall woman still loved her, the blonde had let her know that she was in love with another. She was happy. She was alive through this other woman. This Calliope Torres. Terri had loved and Terri had lost. It was time for her to move on and let go. She walked out of her room and into the living quarters of the hotel.

It was time for one last conversation with her ex. It was time for one last act of love. Making sure the box was held securely to her chest, Terri left her hotel room and walked down an elegant flight of stairs to the foyer of the building.

It was time to say goodbye.

* * *

"You paged me?"

Blue eyes looked up from a chart and brightened at the voice.

"Yes, I did. What'cha doing?" a musical voice asked.

Callie fought to control a smile as her eyebrows lowered at the question. "What am I doing?"

Arizona smiled with an innocent delight and nodded her head. "Yeah, what are you doing, Dr. Torres?"

"Well, Dr. Robbins, since I'm at the hospital, I'm working. As you should be. Why?" Callie asked in playful tones.

It was half past ten and the two woman were standing at the Peds floor nursing station. After their earlier conversation, both of them had finally managed to fall soundly asleep. The trials and tribulations and worries of the past week had melted into their dreamscapes and faded away to become little more than a nightmare. They had survived the best and worst of each other and made it through whole. They were in love and nothing else in the world mattered more than that single fact.

"Are you working on anything that requires your immediate attention? Because me? I'm just looking over patient charts until an emergency comes in..." Arizona said the words in a droll tone and smiled wickedly at the Latina.

"Really? Hmm, I think I might be able to spare a few minutes for a...consult." Callie replied conspiratorially.

Arizona dropped the chart she'd been holding and quickly grabbed the ortho surgeon's wrist. Guiding her knowingly through the halls of the peds floor, she expertly led them to their favorite on-call room. Barely sparing a glance to the few nurses on duty, the blonde doctor hurriedly opened the door and shoved her girlfriend inside.

"I've been thinking about you all day." she whispered before bringing her lips to the full ones in front of her. Callie felt her breath being stolen away as the blonde forced her tongue to part her lips. She grabbed the smaller woman's hips and pushed her against the door.

"All day, huh?" she said heavily in a breathy whisper.

Pulling her mouth away from Arizona's, she lowered her head and let her nose graze along an inviting neck. The blonde's hands were already wrapped tightly in her hair and her breathing has erratic and hitched.

She heard a quick, "Yes" from the lips above her head and smiled into the skin beneath her.

"Let's see about that." she said suddenly. Dragging her tongue up her lover's throat, she traced a wet path to her jaw and finally to her ear. Arizona's hand in her hair had moved lower to the base of her skull and were currently gripping her neck.

Callie used her left hand to maintain her hold on the blonde's slim hips while her right hand moved to the front of her scrub pants. She felt a hot escape of breath across her ear as she started to untie the loop her fingers had reached.

"Don't move" she whispered into Arizona's ear. The blonde's fingers grasped her head tightly and the pace of her breathing increased.

The dark skinned woman finished the task of untying her girlfriend's pants and wasted no time in forcing her hand inside them. Upon immediately feeling the heat coming from the other woman, Callie moaned and let her tongue slide across a delicate ear.

"Calliope..." Arizona sighed. Her hips were trying desperately to reach the fingers so close to her. She felt Callie moving her lips over her ear and she moaned at the sensation.

"Don't move, Arizona." Callie said against her. Her right hand in the blonde's pants moved lower as she let her fingers cup the other woman's center. She could feel Arizona's wetness through her panties and it was making her dizzy.

"Tell me you want me" she said in a heated breath.

The blonde grasped her head tighter and pulled back so that she could look into her eyes. Normally light blue eyes had turned to a deep azure. Callie flicked her thumb across Arizona's clit and watched the eyes before her darken through hooded lids.

"I want you." she breathed against the raven haired woman's face.

Callie closed the distance between them and passionately kissed the woman she had pinned roughly against the door. She didn't allow her lover the chance to take control of the dueling their tongues were in. Full soft lips sucked Arizona's tongue hotly causing the woman to moan loudly.

The taller woman bent her knees slightly and allowed the change in her position the opportunity to lift her girlfriend off the floor. She felt strong legs wrap around her waist. Moving away from the door, Callie led them across the room where she slammed Arizona against the far wall. The blonde grunted but continued to kiss her as her hips started to roll in a familiar rhythm.

Pushing her fingers past the blonde's panties, Callie finally let herself fully touch her girlfriend. The wetness that greeted her instantly let her know that the other woman had indeed been thinking about her.

"Callie..."

Callie looked up at the face slightly above her own. Arizona looked incredibly sexy lost in her passion. Her blonde hair was coming out of the high ponytail she'd put it in and her eyes were tightly shut as she breathed heavily through her open mouth.

"Tell me." the Latina said. Her fingers were running through her lovers wetness and over her swollen clit. Arizona still had her legs wrapped around her sides and her hips were bucking against her and the wall behind her. Bringing her fingers to the blonde's opening, she stopped all movement. An impatient groan floated to her ears.

"Tell me, Arizona."

The peds surgeon opened her eyes and let her hands hold her girlfriend's face. She used her legs, wrapped around the other woman, to pull her closer.

"I want you. I want you. I wa-"

Her words died in her throat when she felt two slender fingers easily slide inside her. The unexpected, but deeply satisfying penetration caused a strangled gasp to leave her mouth. Her hips needed no further invitation. They started a fast pace against Callie's hand as they fought to draw her fingers in deeper.

Arizona's hands were no longer on Callie's face. Her arms were hugging the other woman's neck in a frantic grip. The only thing keeping her from falling was her girlfriend's hand around her waist and the wall behind her. She felt a thumb rubbing circles over her clit before a third finger pushed through her wetness and was engulfed by slick hot muscles.

Callie was finding it increasingly difficult to hold them both upright. The legs around her body were digging painfully into her ribs and the blonde's shoes were occasionally kicking across her back. Arizona was lost to the feelings she was evoking. She was letting herself go, completely and Callie thought she was breath taking. Increasing the pace of her fingers, which were now buried deep within her girlfriend, the ortho surgeon found the blonde's pulse point and attached her lips to it.

Deep and heavy breaths washed intimately against a tanned ear as Arizona moaned and panted.

"I...want...you. Calliope...I-"

Her walls tightened without warning and her muscles convulsed almost painfully as her orgasm ravished her body. Turning her head to the left, she buried her face in her girlfriend's hair and moaned deeply in an attempt to silence the sound. Callie could feel the blonde's tongue lazily running along her ear and face as her orgasm continued to assault her relentlessly. Her fingers inside the other woman were being pulled deeper than they'd ever been. She could feel Arizona's juices spilling past her fingers while her hips continued to gently roll against them.

When she felt the legs around her waist loosen their grip, she quickly dropped to her knees and pulled her girlfriend's pants and underwear down. Before Arizona had time to process what was happening, Callie's lips were on her clit and her tongue was running hotly through her wetness. When she felt her legs going weak, a strong pair of hands grabbed her hips and held her steady.

She laced her hands in dark ebony tresses and pushed her hips against her lover's face. Callie pulled back to lightly kiss the blonde's pleasure center before pulling it into her mouth and sucking greedily. Arizona's second orgasm caused her to scream and slide to the floor. The Latina kept her lips in contact with her clit as long as she could. When the last of the shocks finally left her system, Arizona felt Callie's lips on her own. Barely able to respond, the blonde hummed and held the other woman close to her.

"You should call me for a consult more often, Ari."


	26. Chapter 26

**Chapter 26:**

"You should call me for a consult more often, Ari."

The two women were slouching against the wall behind them as they tried to bring some sense of control to their breathing. Arizona's pants were bunched around her ankles while Callie's face was glistening with the evidence of their on-call room activities.

"Hmm, I probably should but I don't know if I could handle being thrown against the wall that hard all the time." the blonde replied laughing, eliciting a similar reaction from her lover.

Before Callie could continue their afterglow conversation, Arizona's pager beeped and brought both of them back to reality. Standing to her feet and bringing her pants up with her, the blonde lowered a hand to her lover and smiled.

"I'll return the favor later. Duty calls." she leaned towards her girlfriend and let her lips lightly caress Callie's. "You're super sexy when I'm on your face, though." She pulled away quickly and left the room before the taller woman could say anything.

The dark haired Latina leaned back against the wall and laughed as she stared at the door her lover had exited. Licking her lips briefly and without thought, Callie tasted the other woman and moaned softly to herself.

She glanced down and looked at the pager attached to her pants and sighed. "Why can't you ever go off when I need you to?"

* * *

Terri entered the hospital and looked around nervously. It was nearly eleven o'clock and she wasn't even sure if Arizona was working another overnight shift or not. She'd briefly considered calling ahead to check but had quickly decided against it. She'd not wanted to take the chance that she'd be unable to do what she'd planned. Finally coming to terms with the fact that the blonde had truly moved on and was not, at anytime in the foreseeable future going to be coming back to her, Terri knew she needed to say goodbye and part ways amicably.

She ran her fingers over the box tucked under her left arm and walked to the nearest elevator. Stepping inside, she proceeded to tap her foot anxiously as she waited to arrive on the peds floor. She planned on giving Arizona her parting gift, explaining the Traver's case to her and why she had recommended it and apologizing for kissing the blonde in her hotel room. Though trouble was something she'd tried to avoid when coming to Seattle, it had appeared to make itself known despite her best efforts to keep it at bay.

Terri wanted to wish her ex and her new girlfriend her best and get back to her own element as quickly as possible. She looked back down to the box in her possession and felt her breath catch in her throat. There were so many memories attached to the items in the small container. Those memories seemed, to Terri, to be from a lifetime ago. She'd come to terms with Hannah's passing. She'd accepted the horrible fact that her little girl was no longer in the world with her. Arizona, on the other hand, had not. She'd run from the veracity of her life.

The green-eyed woman, after two years, had her closure from her ex. She knew, without a shadow of doubt, that Arizona was never coming back to her. She knew that the blonde was happy and she now new what her reasons were for leaving in the first place. Terri hoped that once she talked with the blonde and presented her gift, that the other woman could finally get closure where Hannah was concerned. Everything would be full circle then.

The doors opened onto the Peds floor and Terri started to leave the elevator when a body blocked her path. Looking up quickly from her thoughts, the brunette came face to face with her ex's girlfriend, Calliope Torres.

"You've got to be fucking kidding me." the raven haired woman said as she tucked her cellphone into her scrub pants.

Terri was slightly perturbed at the ortho surgeon's presence. She'd certainly not been expecting to see the hispanic woman when the elevator doors opened.

"Dr. Torres. I was ju-"

"Don't 'Dr. Torres' me. Were you coming to try to feel my girlfriend up again?

Terri took a step back and visibly swallowed a breath. The woman in front of her entered the elevator and the doors closed behind her. The green-eyed brunette watched as the doctor pressed the 'Emergency Stop' button beside her.

"She told you what happened?" Terri asked when brown eyes pinned her against the wall of the elevator.

Callie crossed her arms over her chest and looked at her girlfriend's ex. This was the first time she'd been able to actually take in the other woman's features. She wasn't staring at old photos or watching in shock as the woman hugged her girlfriend in front of her. In this moment, Callie was fully able to appraise the slender brown-headed woman.

She had to admit that Arizona had impeccable taste. Not only was Terri unnaturally beautiful, she also seemed to possess a strength of character about her that the latina couldn't place. The intelligence sparkling behind her emerald eyes told Callie what must have originally attracted her girlfriend to her in the first place. Terri was a catch. As much as it pained the dark skinned woman to admit, she couldn't deny the truth of it.

This woman, this green-eyed, tall, slim and fit brunette was her girlfriend's ex. Terri, Dr. Terri Clashe, a counseling psychologist, the woman who had been with and loved the same woman Callie loved now was her girlfriend's ex. She was the woman who had suffered silently when Hannah had died. A part of Callie felt for Terri. She wasn't the bad guy in any way. She was just her girlfriend's ex.

"Dr Torres?"

Glancing up, the raven haired woman realized that she had been asked a question and had yet to answer it. Terri's green eyes were cast in confusion and concern as they concentrated on her. The more she stared at the brunette, the more she felt her feelings changing. The woman in front of her was the woman who had kissed her girlfriend. She was the one who had caused so much upheaval in her life recently. Though, logically and rationally, Callie knew Terri was, for the most part, innocent, she couldn't stop herself from feeling angry and threatened by the woman.

"Yeah, she told me. She told me everything. Is that why you came here? You want her back?"

Shaking her head, Terri replied, "No. No, that's not why I came. Look, that kiss was a mistake. I never intended to-"

"Oh, please. You invite her to your hotel and nowhere in your mind did you think there was the possibility?"

Terri sighed and watched the Latina pace in front of her. Her arms were crossed, fiercly, over her chest and her shoulders were hunched with obvious tension. She knew, then, that Dr. Torres was scared. Her body language gave away the fact that she was feeling as if Terri was there to take something away from her. That something being Arizona.

"Dr Torres...Callie. I do love her but-"

Callie stopped pacing and walked closer to the brunette. Terri held her ground as the other woman advanced on her.

"You had her for seven years. I know everything that happened with Hannah and I'm sorry about that. I-I...no, you can't tell me that. Stay away from her. Whatever you came here for, just go."

Callie was breathing heavily while her eyes bore into the green ones in front her her.

"I'm not gonna do that. I love her, but she loves you, Callie. I'm not going to lie and tell you that I didn't toy around with the idea of Arizona and I having a second chance. You would have done the same thing were you in my shoes. I really am sorry for what happened. I came here to help her, Dr. Torres not-

"Help her? Kissing her when she was feeling upset was your idea of helping her?"

Terri pursed her lips and shook her head. The box under her arm slipped slightly and she readjusted her hold on it.

"What is that? Is that for Arizona?" Callie asked.

The brunette kept her eyes locked with her ex's girlfriend. "Yes, this is for Arizona. I came to say goodbye to her, Callie. Look, I know you and I will never see eye to eye, but believe me when I tell you that I didn't come here to cause problems. I came to get closure and finally put to rest problems that existed long before Arizona met you."

The Latina scrunched her eyebrows into a frown of confusion and stepped away from Terri. She wasn't entirely sure what emotion she was currently experiencing. Without a doubt, she knew she was angry. She wanted to take out her frustrations on the too perfect psychologist. At the same time, she was sympathetic to how Terri must have felt the last two years. When Erica had left her without notice, she'd been broken and hurt and lost. She and the heart surgeon had nowhere near the history that Terri had with Arizona. She could understand the situation.

"You're not here to try and get her back?" Callie asked.

"No." Terri replied emphatically. She watched as her words finally found a truth and a meaning for the other woman.

"Look, I do still love her. I won't lie about that. I've been pretty messed up since she left. A lot happened and I didn't have time to process it because I was so worried about Arizona. I came here to find my closure. I needed to know that there was no possibility of an 'us' anymore."

Terri paused and gauged Callie's reaction. The tall doctor was listening to her words with a look of relief on her face. Her shoulders were still tense, which told the green eyed woman that she was still on the defensive, but the arms across her chest had fallen to her sides.

Continuing while she had the other woman's attention, Terri said "I've gotten what I came for, Dr. Torres. I just wanted to...I just wanted to help Arizona accept Hannah's passing."

Callie searched Terri's face and placed her hands on her hips. "You recommended the Traver's, didn't you?"

"Yes." the brunette replied without pretext.

"Why? You brought all of this up for her. I've never seen her like she's been lately." the Latina inveighed.

The slender woman stepped forward away from the elevator wall. She ran the hand of her right hand through her hair.

"Exactly. You haven't seen her like this because you didn't even know about the situation. She didn't deal with anything, Callie. She laid in Hannah's room the day she died for hours. She refused to talk to me, her parents, our friends. I dealt with the arrangements and all the legal details. Arizona couldn't. The next thing I knew, she was accepting a job offer and here we all are. She never faced the truth, therefore, she never healed."

Callie was silent for long moments as the brunette's words sunk into her being; whispering their ill beheld truths. She'd known Arizona had gone through a rough time when her daughter had died, but she'd not known how closed off she'd been to everyone around her. Looking back on their relationship, the dark haired woman could see, now, how the blonde had used not talking about a situation as a coping mechanism.

Arizona had wanted to talk about poundcake and lotion instead of the baby issue. She'd told Callie she wasn't broken and that her life wasn't a psycho drama when Callie had tried to understand the blonde's behavior. She'd even broken up with Callie so that she wouldn't have to face her past. Terri was correct. Arizona did need help. She just wasn't sure she liked the idea of the blonde's ex being the one to give it to her.

"Okay, you're right. I don't know all the details. I only found out about all of this a week ago. But, she's talking to me about things. She's showing me a side of her I didn't even know existed. We'll get through this without your help.." Taking a breath and looking the other woman in the eyes, Callie continued "Now, tell me how recommending the Traver's was beneficial to her."

Terri looked down to the box in her hands. Her gift. A sad smile shadowed her features before she looked back up to the Latina in front of her.

"Here," she said, offering the box to the other woman, "give this to her for me, will you? I had planned on talking with her and explaining some things, but it's obvious that I don't belong here. I-I, umm, just give it to her. Please. My plane leaves the day after tomorrow, so, if she has any questions or...anything..."

She allowed her words to trail off as she felt the weight of the box passing from her to her ex's new current girlfriend. She couldn't tell the woman the things she wanted to hear. She couldn't be the one to fill in the missing pieces to the puzzle that was Arizona Robbins. It was obvious, by their exchange, that the blonde hadn't told the hispanic woman much at all about Hannah or her condition or her guilt over how things had come to pass.

"I don't...why are you giving me this? Did I miss something?" Callie asked as she looked down to the unassuming container in her hands.

Terri stepped around her and resumed the elevator. She let her fingers play idly with the buttons on the wall.

"Do you love her, Dr. Torres?" the green eyed woman asked without turning to face her.

"Excuse you?"

How dare this woman ask her that. First, Arizona had needed reassurance that she wasn't just another person in a long line of lovers and now her ex was asking if she really loved the blonde?

"She's stubborn, Dr. Torres. She'll fight you when she's scared. She'll hold to what she knows because she sees any form of change as something to be feared. Don't let her be stubborn. Don't do what I did."

Turning around, Terri met Callie's gaze and put her hands in her back pockets. The other woman was staring openly at her waiting for a further explanation of her vague words.

"Seven years ago, I was on top of the world. I had everything. Two years ago, I let the love of my life walk away because I thought I was doing what she needed me to. I thought I was giving her the space she needed to heal. I was wrong. I let her go and two years later she's still fighting the change. She's still refusing to acknowledge the basic parts of her life that made her who she is. If you truly love her, you'll fight for her even against herself. Don't be me, Dr. Torres."

The sound of the elevator beeping and the doors opening caused both women to jump slightly. Terri turned to exit the small space when she felt a gentle hand on her arm.

"I do love her and I'm sorry for everything. I'll give this to her and let her know you were here." Callie said the words and could barely believe she was the one speaking them. Here she was, badass Calliope Torres, being civil to her girlfriend's ex. The same ex who she'd spent a good part of her adult life with. The same ex she'd had a daughter with. The same ex who'd kissed her girlfriend in her hotel room not even a day before. Irony was a funny a thing.

Terri said nothing. Nodding her head once, she turned and walked away from the ortho surgeon. Callie watched her disappear from view and looked down at the box in her hand. She'd been complaining about all the drama she'd had pop up in her life in the past week and now, that drama had been placed directly into her hands. How...ironic.


	27. Chapter 27

**Chapter 27:**

Callie sat in the doctor's lounge with her feet propped up against the table. Her hands were drumming on her thighs as she stared at the box in front of her. Terri had left over an hour ago. Upon her departure, Callie had immediately placed the small box in her locker and gone to check up on her patients. After a consult with Owen, she'd paged Arizona, grabbed the box from her locker, and made her way to her current destination.

She now found herself replaying her conversation with her girlfriend's ex. Terri had come across as so confident, so sure of herself. When she'd first seen the other woman walking towards she and Arizona a few days before, she'd been shocked at how gorgeous and fit her girlfriend's ex was. The way she had smiled at the blonde as she said, "Zona" had made Callie's skin crawl. Her eyes had danced with a playful banter that matched her tone of voice.

Callie had not known how to feel when she'd first met the green-eyed woman. Arizona had been so shocked at seeing the brunette face to face after so many years, that she'd done little more than openly ogle the other woman. The way she had let her eyes trace over Terri's features had left Callie feeling wholly inadequate; like she'd been nothing compared to the slender woman standing before her.

Terri was supposed to have been a face in a photo. She was supposed to have been nothing more than a figment from Arizona's past. She was not supposed to be real and tangible.

When the blonde had gone to talk with Terri after severely and utterly devastating Callie, the dark skinned woman had braced herself for the inevitable. She'd felt with absolute sureness that Arizona would go back to her ex and she, Callie, would be left alone again.

Now, she wasn't sure of anything. A month ago, she'd known everything. She was in-love, had a great job, great friends and the sky had been her limit. Then, she'd told Arizona she wanted and needed a baby and everything had gone down hill. She'd awakened one day and found out things about her girlfriend and her girlfriend's past that she never could have dreamed existed.

Things. Horrible, sad, and painful things. Things she wished she could make untrue and forget. Sitting in front of her on the table her feet were perched against was a small container that she had no doubt had to do with those horrible things. Staring at the box brought her thoughts back to Terri.

The woman who, in the beginning had come across as untouchable and suave, had appeared defeated in the elevator. She had seemed inured to the situation. Callie had found herself feeling the other woman's pain and sympathizing with her state of affairs. Where she should have felt overwhelming animosity, she found herself feeling compassion. The situation was far too complex for her to get a firm grip on any one thread of thought. More than anything, Callie wanted things to go back to happier and much more care-free times.

The door to the lounge opened and a confused Arizona appeared in the doorway, breaking Callie's discombobulated thoughts.

"Hey. I know I said I'd return the favor, but I didn't exactly have the doctor's lounge in mind as the place to return that favor." the blonde said with a slight laugh.

Callie glanced up at her girlfriend's arrival and smiled weakly. Arizona parted her lips slightly and lowered her brows.

"Um, did I do something? You look upset." the peds attending asked as she walked across the room to stand in front of her girlfriend.

Callie met her lover's eyes before speaking.

"Terri came to see you."

The blonde let out a breath and lowered her eyes from the dark ones in front of her. Upon doing so, she noticed a small box next to Callie's feet.

"What did she want, Calliope?" Arizona asked as she sat down beside the box on the table in front of her girlfriend.

"She said she wanted to help you accept everything that happened with Hannah. She came to say good-"

"Damn it, why does she insist on bringing her up? What does she expect from me? I don't know how to be anymore accepting of my daughter's death! I'm still here! Hannah isn't. That's a fact. I know that. I wish she would just let it go and stop treating me like a patient!"

Arizona's voice had steadily increased in pitch as she rhetorically posed her questions to her girlfriend. She honestly didn't know what Terri's obsession was. From the moment Hannah had been diagnosed with ALL, her ex had insisted that she accept things as they were. When Hannah had passed away, Terri had pushed her to talk about how she felt and what she was going through. Arizona had refused to talk about anything. She had not felt the need to bring to life feelings that were already raw with pain.

"Arizona, you do need to talk about it. Terri told me how you shut down and closed yourself off from everyone, baby. I've known you for over a year and I'm just now finding out about all of this. You've run from it, Ari. You need to stop and just talk about it."

Callie chose her words carefully and kept her tone of voice as even and calming as she could. She knew the blonde would fight her on the issue. Sitting across from the other woman, the ortho surgeon could see the internal struggle waging within her girlfriend. Her emotions flittered across her eyes and over her face in a convoluted display of distress.

"I'm not doing this with you." Arizona said as she stood up suddenly. "We're good, Calliope. We've gotten through this week. You know everything and you've supported me and I love you all the more for it. But, we're not going to become me and Terri. We're not going to treat me like a mental patient. My daughter died. I know that. You know that. Talking about it won't change that simple truth, Calliope."

Shaking her head and sticking her jaw out, the blonde released a ragged breath before continuing.

"Don't you see? We can finally move on...away from all of this. Please don't treat me like she did. I just want to finish my shift and take you to breakfast. I want to go back to my apartment and lose myself in your body and spend the rest of the day spoiling you. I don't want to keep having all this other stuff thrown in our faces, Calliope. So, no, we're not going to do that. We're good."

Callie remained silent while she watched her lover. Arizona was speaking to her in the same voice she had days earlier when she'd informed her that she wasn't broken. Though the blonde's words weren't 'dripping with venom', it was easy for Callie to detect the shift and the undertones that belied her simple wants.

Her girlfriend was doing exactly what Terri had told her she would do. She was fighting against the change. She'd been fighting against the change the minute Callie had informed her she wanted a baby. Everything was starting to make sense in a way that it had not before. Callie smiled to herself at the simplicity of the answer to it all. It wasn't that things weren't a mess. Nothing about their current dilemma was black and white. The situation was complex and made her head ache, but the answer to it all was simple. She could be Arizona's 'good man in a storm'.

"Arizona, come here and sit with me." she said as she lowered her feet to the floor and sat up.

The blonde looked confused for a moment, but Callie pushed forward before her girlfriend could refuse.

"We're not you and Terri, baby. We're you and me. We're us. You helped me face some of the scariest times of my life. You found me, picked me up and made me talk about the things that I refused to see. I may be your 'reason', Arizona, but you're my salvation. You kept the dearest thing in your life from me because you were afraid. I'm still here. You pushed me away, broke up with me, questioned my feelings for you, called me a whore and nearly attacked me with a bat. I'm still here, Ari. We're not you and Terri. I'm not going to let you close up, shut down, and walk away from me."

Callie's voice had started to shake as she spoke her words with a strong conviction. The blonde was standing next to the table that held the small box. Her eyes were unwavering as she listened to the deep and rich voice breaking the silence of the room.

"Your refusal to talk about it, Arizona, means that you do need to talk about it. I'm not treating you like a patient when I say that. I'm speaking as someone who loves you and wants to see you happy and healthy and whole. You'd want me to talk to you about anything that was upsetting to me, wouldn't you?"

Arizona nodded her head and sighed. Callie seemed determined to meet some end. What that end was, the blonde didn't know. What she did know was that everything her lover was telling her was true. The simple fact that Callie was still around and still loved her was enough to give pause to Arizona's own convictions. She glanced at the container on the table and raised an eyebrow.

"What's with the box?" she asked, deciding on a neutral subject.

Callie reached for her and let her fingers gently wrap around a slim wrist.

"Terri brought it. I don't know what's in it. That why I paged you."

"You paged me so I could open a box?"

The Latina didn't respond to the flippant remark, instead choosing to pull the blonde into her lap. She allowed her arms to tenderly wrap around her girlfriend's midsection.

"Do this for me? Stop running, Ari. You want us to move forward and grow old? You can't do that if you're always looking over your shoulder. We're not you and Terri, okay? We won't change. Our feelings won't change. I won't run away and I won't let you do so either."

"You won't?" Arizona asked, as her voice faltered.

"No. Never. You've kept this all in for so long, Arizona. You don't need to face your demons alone anymore. Let's work through this together so we can both move on."

Callie didn't know what was in the box, but she did have an idea as to what the contents may pertain to. Terri had told her that she only wanted to help Arizona come to terms with Hannah's death. Keeping with that line of thinking, Callie had come to assume that whatever was in the box had to do with the blonde's daughter.

"Terri brought this for me and gave it to you?"

"I met her in the elevator as I was leaving the on-call room. She wanted to give it to you and say goodbye."

Arizona turned her head so she could meet her girlfriend's eyes.

"Goodbye?"

"Yeah, her plane leaves the day after tomorrow, Ari."

The blonde felt both relieved and torn at knowing her ex was soon to be leaving. Relief flooded through her body for all the obvious reasons. Grief, on the other hand, coursed through her veins because the last link she had to her daughter would be gone. All she had to remind her of Hannah's existence was a handful of pictures. When she'd left for Seattle, she'd packed very little and had very little sent to her new apartment. Though Dr. Kenley had still been head of the pediatrics department when she'd received the attending position offer, Arizona had known that she had a good chance of one day heading the department herself.

She'd had a chance to start over, completely, and that was what she'd chosen to do. It was luck, or irony, that played the hand of cards opposing her own. Not long after starting to work at Seattle Grace, Dr. Jordan Kenley had died from a heart attack and she'd been given his position. Everything had been so hectic and exciting and new that she'd not had time to think about Terri or anything to do with her past. Hannah's face had been in every child she treated, but by staying one step ahead, she'd been able to dull the pain to a numb ache. Once she'd begun seeing Callie, her world had reopened to her and she'd been able to shove all of her bad thoughts and all of those tiny coffins into a dark corner in her mind.

Feeling the warm body behind her and staring at the unassuming box on the table, Arizona found herself truly facing everything she'd been running from. Whatever was in the container had to do with Hannah. She couldn't think of anything else Terri would give to her in her efforts to 'help' her.

"Open it, baby." she heard from behind her.

The blonde let out a breath and reached for the small object of their curiosity. She let it rest in her hands for a moment before settling back against Callie and bringing it to her legs.

She allowed her fingers to trace the outside of the lid before grasping the edges and lifting the top off. The first object on top of, what she assumed to be other items, nearly took her breath away. She brought her hands to her mouth as her eyes watered. Her chest felt tight and her bottom lip trembled in her efforts to control her emotions.

The bright pink cloth lying in the box caused her heart to pound painfully in her chest. She lowered her hands from her mouth and slowly let them run along the incredibly soft material of of the swaddle.

"Oh, Dims." she whispered softly to herself, overcome with emotion.

Callie was looking over her shoulder at the simple looking piece of material. She could feel the blonde's body jerking ever so often as she tried to keep her emotional display to a minimum.

"Is that what I think it is, Ari?" she asked after a moment.

Her girlfriend sniffed and lifted the swaddle out of the box.

"Yes. This is the swaddle Hannah was wrapped in the day she was born."

Arizona wrapped her hands tightly around the small cloth and brought it to her nose. Inhaling deeply, she breathed in the scent that she'd loved for so short a time.

"It still smells like her." she said, a slight unbelieving laugh ending the statement.

Callie felt her own tears slip from her eyes. Just like Terri, Hannah too, had been just a face in a photograph. Seeing the swaddle the child had been wrapped in on the day of her birth made her more real to the Latina than ever before. She trailed her hands up the blonde's arms and allowed them to cover the smaller ones tightly grasping the swaddle. Her head bent forward and lightly kissed Arizona's shoulder.

"Oh, god Callie. I'd almost let myself forget this smell. It's her. It's...Dims."

Arizona let herself escape to the past briefly. Her tears joyfully left her eyes as she allowed herself to cry. The tactile sensation coupled with Hannah's scent sent her on an emotional high. Though saddened by the reminder that her daughter really was gone, holding the object in her hands and allowing herself to remember images from long past, left the blonde feeling closer to Hannah than she had in a long while.

She felt warm tears on her neck and turned her head to look at Callie. Dark eyes met her gaze.

"Why are you crying?" she asked softly.

"Because, this whole situation just became real for me. It's like she's here in the room with us, Ari."

The peds surgeon smiled as she thought about her lover's words. Dropping her head back, she brought her lips to the full ones before her and tenderly kissed the dark-haired woman. Callie's lips were wet from her tears, but Arizona continued to let her lips gently nip and massage her girlfriend's.

When she pulled away for air, her head came to rest against Callie's. The swaddle in her hands was securely nestled against her chest.

"Thank-you." she said quietly.

"For?" Callie asked.

"For not letting me run away. For being here with me so this isn't so overwhelming."

Callie smiled and kissed the side of her neck. She brought her hand up and let her fingers gently caress the cloth in her girlfriend's grasp. It was soft and made her fingers tingle. Her girlfriend's little girl had been wrapped in the cloth, once long ago. Her favorite person in all the world had brought a new life into the world and that beautiful new life had laid in the swaddle her fingers were grazing. Arizona, her beautiful and wonderful and life changing, Arizona had given birth to an equally amazing child and the cloth beneath her fingertips had held her.

She felt like she did when she'd first found out about Hannah.

"You're welcome, baby."

Arizona kept the swaddle wrapped in her right hand and leaned forward to see what else was in the box. Several dvds were in the bottom corner. She lifted them out of the box and proceeded to look over them.

"What are those?" Callie asked.

"I'm not sure."

Arizona opened the case on one of the dvds and noticed a leaf on the inside cover. Terri's handwriting graced the paper:

-Hannah's 1st birthday party-

"I can't believe she did all this." the blonde said, more to herself than to Callie.

She looked over the five dvds and opened each one. On the inside cover of every one of them was Terri's handwriting. Each dvd captured some important time in Hannah's life. Arizona felt her throat tighten. She couldn't believe how she'd let herself try to forget all those things. She's wanted to not feel so hollow and she'd come close to becoming dead to everything that meant anything to her.

"I'll get to hear her again." she said in a reverent tone of voice. "I'll get to hear her voice and her laughter. I thought the sound of her was lost in my memory, but-" she turned and smiled a genuine smile at Callie, "I'll get to hear her, Calliope. This is...this is awesome." she finished quietly.

The raven haired woman smiled her own dazzling smile and squeezed the body in front of her own. Arizona was accepting things. She was processing her past and the emotions she'd run and hidden from for so long. They were healing. Together.

"I can't wait to see them, Arizona. I bet she had your musical voice and laughter."

The blonde opened her mouth to speak when both of their pagers went off. Incoming trauma in the E.R. Arizona placed the dvds and the swaddle back in the box and closed the lid.

"I guess we'll have to look at the rest later." she said getting up from her position against her girlfriend.

Callie adjusted her scrub top and looked to the box on the table.

"Yeah, I guess so. I'll put it in my locker."

The smaller woman nodded and smiled sheepishly. She brought her hands to her face and made an attempt to wipe away the evidence of her tears.

"Okay, great."

"Arizona?" Callie asked when she saw the blonde turning to leave.

"Yeah?"

"We are good. We'll be fine, okay? You're still my good man in a storm and I'm yours. The storm has almost passed."

The peds attending stepped up to the taller woman and kissed her without warning. Her hands gripped Callie's hips and moved around her body to squeeze her behind. She felt, as well as heard, the gasp that left her girlfriend's mouth at the gesture.

Dragging her teeth across the Latina's bottom lip, she tugged and playfully nipped her lips before kissing her again.

"I love you." she stated matter-of-factly. "You're the most amazing girlfriend in the world and when we get home, I'm going to show you how amazing I think you are. Thank you for being you."

Callie smiled widely.

"I can't wait, Ms. Robbins. Let's go save some people so we can go home and have wild, crazy, amazing sex."

The two of them laughed and left the lounge together.


	28. Chapter 28

**Chapter 28:**

_"Mama...mama...I go?"_

_Hannah was tugging on the leg of Terri's pants as the brunette watched her girlfriend frantically pace around the kitchen._

_Bending down, she scooped the small child into her arms and let her rest on her hip. Hannah immediately wrapped her arms around her mother's neck and turned her head so she could trace the movements of her other mother._

_"No, honey. Mommy has to go put band-aids on little humans' ouchies."_

_Hannah's blue eyes lit up and she bounced against the hip that was supporting her weight._

_"I 'wittle' human. Mommy put 'ban-daid' on me?"_

_Arizona laughed when she heard her daughter's words. Biting into the bagel she'd been preparing herself, she stepped up to where the small child was being held by Terri._

_"You don't have any ouchies, silly. I make sure of that." she said._

_Hannah smiled and reached out her arms for the blonde. The smaller woman leaned in towards her girlfriend and allowed her to pass Hannah into her embrace. Holding the bagel away from her body, she turned her head and smiled once more at her daughter._

_"Give Mommy a kiss and make sure it's a super one, too."_

_Hannah lightly grasped the blonde's neck and gave her a sloppy kiss on the cheek._

_"Okay, be good for Mama." Arizona said before placing a gentle kiss on her daughter's forehead and hugging her softly._

_She passed Hannah, once more, to her girlfriend. Terri lowered her head and gave the blonde's lips a quick peck._

_"See you when you get home." the green eyed woman said._

Terri sat in her hotel room deep in thought. Since leaving the hospital, her mind had been on a continuous replay of every memory she'd ever made regarding Hannah. Maybe it was due to the fact that she'd brought up her own pain over the loss when she'd gathered the items for the box she'd put together for Arizona.

When she'd brought everything with her to Seattle, she'd originally planned to give them to the blonde in person while they talked about each item and worked through Arizona's grief together.

Things hadn't worked out that way. Hell, nothing had played out the way the brunette had intended. All she could do was hope that Callie had given her gift to her ex and that the hispanic woman would be able to help her in some way. It was all out of her hands now.

She glanced out the window to her left and sighed. Seattle was rainy. A steady sheet of rain was falling heavily down the glass of the window. She would be happy when she returned to her home where she would be away from the constant threat of a Seattle downpour.

Standing from the couch, the tall brunette crossed the living area of the hotel room and made the short trek to the piano sitting near the fireplace.

She allowed her fingers to lightly graze the ivory keys from right to left. It had been a long time since last she'd played. When Hannah had been alive, Terri had played for her often. The small girl had been fascinated with the sounds each key could make.

Sitting on the bench in front of the piano, she continued to let her fingers run atop the keys. Memories flooded her mind once again.

_"Middle C" Terri said as she looked down to her 3 year old daughter. The blue-eyed child glanced up at her and smiled._

_She grabbed her mother's left thigh and scooted her small body across the piano bench. Terri gently picked her up and placed her in her lap. Hannah immediately jammed all ten fingers onto the keys of the piano causing a shrill sound to fill the space of the den._

_Laughing, the green-eyed woman tenderly placed her hands over the small ones of her daughter and removed her fingers from the piano. While still holding Hannah's hands in her own, she guided the child's left hand farther to the left and placed her index finger on a key._

_"Middle C, Hannah."_

_Terri knew it would be some time before her daughter was ready for recitals, but she hoped to instill an appreciation for music as early as possible. Hannah was curious about the piano and had told her that she wanted to do what Mama did. So, Terri had slowly started teaching Hannah the basics. She was thrilled that the two of them would have something that was uniquely theirs._

_"Iddle thee" Hannah said, a slight lisp noticeable in her speech._

_"That's right, Dims. Good girl." Terri's voice was soft and full of pride._

Shaking the memories from her mind's eye, the green-eyed woman smiled sadly to herself as her fingers found a familiar position in front of her. Hesitating for a moment, Terri closed her eyes and moved her fingers along the keys.

_'Piano Sonata No.14 op. 27-2 "Moonlight 1st movement_' flowed beautifully from the piano. The quiet slow start of the piece sadly gave voice to Terri's emotions. With each note played, the sounds reverberated through the brunette's body and found resonance in her soul.

As she progressed through the first movement, she could feel her body moving to keep pace with the melody of the sonata. Her eyes, still closed, danced with visions of her daughter. Though tears did not fall, Terri allowed her feelings to find a peace in the music she was creating.

She saw Hannah smiling and laughing. She remembered birthdays and holidays. Hannah's voice played in her mind and rang in her ears. Memories of their piano lessons visited her and caused a smile to grace her lips as she continued to play.

For just a moment, Terri could let herself imagine that the small girl was sitting next to her intently listening and watching her mother play. If she let herself get caught up in the piece, she could almost feel Hannah's warmth next to her.

The sonata continued to sound gracefully in the space of the brunette's hotel room. She couldn't believe that she'd given up playing the piano for so long. After Hannah had passed away, Terri had been unable to even hear a piano without thinking of her daughter. Playing now, as she was, she realized what she'd given up. To not play had been an affront to her daughter's memory. Letting herself go as the haunting chords washed over her, Terri smiled again.

She was playing for Hannah. She was remembering her daughter and she was honoring her life.

As the piece came to a finish, the slender woman was shaken from her musically induced euphoria by the sound of the phone ringing. Allowing herself a moment to gather her composure, she stood from the piano bench and walked to the desk in the right corner of the room.

"Yes?" she said as she brought the receiver to her ear.

"Terri? It's Callie." the voice on the other end of the phone stated.

Terri paused for a moment. She couldn't imagine why her ex's girlfriend would be calling her. Was there a problem with Arizona? Had she given the box to the blonde like Terri had requested? Questions ran through her mind eluding the answers she sought of them.

"Callie, hi. Is everything okay?" the brunette asked before sitting herself in the chair at the desk. The rain continued to slide down the glass of the window in front of her.

"Yeah, yeah. We were, uh, we were hoping we could meet up with you before you leave tomorrow. Arizona wants to talk with you."

Heart racing, Terri exhaled and brought a knee up to her chest. Wrapping an arm around her leg, she released another breath before, "Yeah, sure. Just let me know a time and place and I could-"

"Actually," Callie's voice interrupted her, "we thought meeting in your hotel would be best. It's more private."

Terri was startled into silence for a moment. Arizona and Callie were both wanting to meet with her. She guessed she couldn't really blame the dark haired woman for wanting to come along. After what she'd allowed to happen the last time the blonde had been in her hotel, she could see the need Callie would feel in accompanying Arizona.

"Okay, that would fine. You're both welcome to stop by whenever it's convenient for you both." the green-eyed woman replied.

"Alright, we'll see you soon. Thanks, Terri."

With that, Callie ended the call and left a slightly perturbed Terri sitting by the window in her hotel.

* * *

After their emergency pages, both Callie and Arizona had spent the next several hours of their shifts in one surgery or another. The time had passed quickly and allowed both women the joy of finishing their day in the O.R.

When 8:00 a.m rolled around soon after, both surgeons were well past exhausted and looking forward to heading home. After stopping at a local diner near the hospital to grab a quick breakfast, the two women now found themselves in Arizona's apartment. Since the initial baby question weeks ago, both Callie and Arizona had spent more and more time in the blonde's apartment.

Callie kicked her shoes off and flung her leather jacket on the arm of the couch. Flopping down heavily on the cushions, the tall latina sighed deeply.

"I hate these overnight shifts." she complained.

Arizona laughed softly before bending to lift her girlfriend's legs from the couch. Sitting herself down next to the dark skinned woman, she proceeded to bring Callie's legs down onto her lap. She gently massaged the other woman's calves with her fingers.

"It's only one more day, Calliope. Then, we're both off for two whole super awesome days!" she said brightly.

Callie snorted from the other end of the couch. Lifting her hands from her face, she eyed the blonde for a moment.

"We'll be spending those "super awesome days" asleep."

Arizona only smirked at her girlfriends apparent bad mood. She ran her hands along Callie's calves, over her knees and up her thighs. There was nothing sexual in her touches. She was just enjoying being able to feel the other woman. It was comforting to Callie. It was comforting to her.

Turning her head to the left, she noticed her girlfriend's eyes were closed. Her soothing caresses were easing Callie's moment of vexation.

"Hmm, if you keep doing that, you're going to put me to sleep right now."

The blonde smiled at the drowsy voice. Her fingers continued to tenderly rub and massage her lover's sore muscles. For several minutes, the only sounds in the living room of Arizona's apartment were the soft moans escaping Callie's full lips and the slight laughter bubbling from the blonde's throat.

"Arizona?" the hispanic woman said after a moment.

The smaller woman stilled her fingers and turned her head toward the voice. Callie's eyes were still closed, but when she felt the fingers stop their ministrations, she spoke.

"We should see what else is in the box." she said in sleep heavy tones.

The blonde inhaled slowly and lowered her eyes. She knew her girlfriend was correct but a part of her still rebelled at the idea. Arizona desperately wanted to put everything behind her so that she and Callie could just go back to being them. To being in love. A larger part of her knew that coming to terms with her past was her only option if she truly wanted to move forward.

Taking a deep breath, the smaller woman raised her eyes to the table directly in front of the couch. Sitting on top of a stack of magazines was the object of her trepidation. The first two items she'd managed to look over before being paged had brought her a profound amount of joy. Hannah's swaddle was the closest she'd come to actually holding her daughter in close to two years. Knowing she had several dvds to watch caused her stomach to flip in on itself in nervous excitement.

She wasn't sure where her anxiety was coming from. Whatever the cause, it made Arizona's heart beat faster in her chest.

"Hey." a soft voice broke the silence.

The blonde shook her head of curls slightly and looked in the direction of the voice. Callie's dark eyes were open and tracing over her face.

"We don't have to if you don't feel ready, Ari. I just thought you'd like to know what else was in the box. We could always watch one of the home movies. I'd like to see her."

Callie sat up and scooted closer to the blonde. Her legs were still laying across Arizona's thighs. When she'd gotten as close as she could, she reached out with her right hand and gently pushed her lover's hair away from her face. Her left hand found the smaller woman's jaw and turned her head towards her own.

Leaning in slowly, the dark skinned woman allowed her nose to graze a light path along Arizona's cheek. She heard her girlfriend take a sudden breath. The hands on her legs grasped her knees responsively.

Pushing the blonde hair in her right hand farther away from an ivory neck, the Latina leaned closer and let her lips come to rest against her girlfriend's ear.

"Or, you could just repay that favor. My body's been longing for yours since last night." she said in a low voice thick with arousal. To emphasize her point, she let her tongue wetly trace a heated path along the outside of the blonde's ear.

Arizona moaned and grasped Callie's thighs. Her hands were kneading the other woman's flesh fiercely. Turning her head, she captured the mouth that had, only moments ago, been teasing her.

When her lips met Callie's, she sighed in satisfaction. The ortho surgeon was her drug. No matter how bad or nerve-wracking a situation was, the feel of the latina's lips on her own always turned things around. This time was no different. The blonde felt her stomach settling as her heart slowed to beat in rhythm with her lover's.

Pushing against the other woman, Arizona maneuvered them so that her own body was nestled between Callie's legs while the raven haired woman found herself on her back.

"Your body missed me?" she said playfully between kisses.

Biting her lower lip, the taller woman hummed as her fingers ran down the blonde's chest. She lifted her legs and wrapped them around Arizona's back.

"Like crazy. I walked around the hospital all night extremely turned on." Callie replied before using her legs, wrapped around the other woman, to bring their bodies closer together. Her hands, on the blonde's chest, moved lower and soon found her girlfriend's breasts.

The Latina leaned forward and caught Arizona's lips with her own. She allowed her hands to grab greedily at the mounds beneath her fingertips. Moaning deeply, she lifted her hips and rolled them seductively against the body above her own.

Arizona sighed into the mouth attacking her lips and let her tongue hotly glide along Callie's. Bracing herself on her left arm, she let her right hand splay across her girlfriend's chest. Her fingers curled and bunched around the other woman's shirt.

"How turned on are you right now?" the blonde whispered against full lips.

Callie nipped playfully at her lover's lower lip and squeezed the other woman's right nipple between her thumb and forefinger.

"Why don't you find out yourself." the Latina said as Arizona gasped into her mouth.

Callie knew that she and Arizona needed to finish looking over the container that Terri had left, but she was also aware that pushing the blonde too fast would accomplish little in the end. Right now, she knew that settling her girlfriend's nerves would go a long way to the other woman seeing things through.

She felt the hand on her chest burn a hot trail between her breasts and over her stomach. Arizona's head fell towards her own and her breath washed over her face.

"I love you" the blonde said trailing her fingers to the top of Callie's pants.

The raven haired woman removed her hands from the Arizona's breasts and wrapped them around her head. She brought her lips up to gently kiss the lips so close to her own and moaned lightly when she felt dexterous fingers slide under the waist band of her panties.

"Hmm, I love you, too baby." Callie breathed out heavily.

Arizona's fingers were teasing her though her underwear and the dark skinned woman's hips were moving in a desperate attempt to find any solid contact. She felt the other woman pull away from their kiss and she groaned.

"Tell me what your body wants, Calliope." the smaller woman said roughly against her ear.

Callie rolled her hips again and moaned. She could feel her own wetness as she moved. Her hands on the blonde's head threaded through curly locks and she moaned again when she felt nimble fingers rub suddenly across her clit.

"Tell me what you want." Arizona said hotly in against ear. The feel of the other woman's lips caused the Latina to release a breath she couldn't recall ever taking. She turned her head and tenderly kissed the side of her lover's face before positioning her own mouth close to Arizona's ear.

"I want you to touch me." Her voice was thick with passion and lust and the sound of it caused the blonde to moan with contentment.

Arizona allowed her fingers to move with purpose. Sliding lower over her girlfriend's panties, she eventually came to the throbbing and pulsing core of Callie's arousal. Flicking a nail over the swollen flesh elicited a gasp from the other woman.

"Ari..."

The smaller woman moved her head so she could look down into her lover's face. Callie's brow was scrunched and her eyes were closed as she continued to ride the waves of pleasure Arizona's fingers were causing.

"Is this how you want me to touch you?" the blonde asked. Her fingers were rubbing hot circles across Callie's clit through her underwear. The friction between the Latina's legs was almost unbearable. Her wetness was continuing to collect and pool around her opening as the woman above her drove her to the edge.

Before the dark haired woman could respond to her lover's question, she felt the fingers, giving her so much satisfaction, move suddenly. Groaning at the loss of heat and contact, Callie opened her eyes slightly in a silent inquiry.

Arizona smirked at her with a sexy expression before moving her fingers under her panties and running them through her wetness.

"Jesus, Calliope." the blonde moaned against her face.

The ortho surgeon grinned through hooded lids and bucked her hips to increase their contact. She let her mouth find Arizona's and attacked her lips with fervor.

The blonde couldn't believe the amount of moisture her fingers were sliding through. The heat coming from Callie's center almost burned. How the other woman had become aroused so fast, Arizona could barely fathom. Her girlfriend had told her that she'd been turned on since their earlier on-call room session, but that had been hours ago. Callie must have been aroused this entire time like she'd told her.

The evidence her fingers were gliding though was testimony enough to corroborate her assumptions. She briefly lost all sense of time and coherent thought as she continued to explore the other woman. Though her fingers had long since mapped Callie's body, she never ceased to be amazed and awed at the perfection of their simple moments.

Running her fingers back through the slick heat surrounding her fingers, she allowed her thumb to slide hotly across Callie's clit. The other woman tore her mouth away from pink lips and a deep moan escaped her throat. Her hips were rolling in a delicious manner while her center found pleasurable contact with her lover's fingers.

Arizona dropped her head to Callie's and opened her eyes.

"Is this how you want me to touch you, baby?"

She was enjoying being able to tease Callie. Never was her girlfriend more beautiful or more inspiring than when she was in the throes of passion. Having control over the body she craved more than the air she breathed was a heady high to the blonde that she found she was addicted to.

Callie was breathing rapidly and her chest was rising and falling in an errant pattern as she fought with herself to draw air into her lungs.

She could barely think clearly, let alone try to form words. Arizona was building her arousal in such a slow and heated way, it was causing her head to spin. Opening her eyes slightly, she met the dark blue gaze of the woman on top of her and moaned again at the lust staring back at her.

The fingers swirling around her clit stopped without warning and the next thing the latina was aware of was a hand at her mouth. Arizona was looking at her with a confident expression and smug smile on her perfect lips.

Meeting the gaze evenly, Callie grasped the blonde's fingers and brought them to her mouth. Licking her own arousal from them, she allowed her tongue to tease the smaller woman's finger tips.

Her eyes never left the blue above her and as she continued her oral assault, she felt Arizona rocking against her.

The blonde removed her fingers from Callie's mouth and brought her lips down harshly against the other woman's. She could taste the latina's essence on her tongue and it rocked her to her core. Her left hand, which had been supporting her weight, grasped Callie's hair that was splayed out behind her.

She moved her right hand back down her girlfriend's body and grabbed the waist band of her pants.

"These have to go." she said, tugging at the jeans, "Now."

Callie raised her hips to accommodate the smaller woman. The scent of her arousal immediately filled both their senses once the pants were on the floor beside them. Before Callie could warp her legs back around the blonde, Arizona stood from the couch.

Shocked almost to the point of insanity, the dark skinned woman opened her eyes and glared at her lover.

"Arizona, what the hell are you doing? Get back down here before I have to take care of myself."

The peds surgeon smirked at her. Keeping her eyes locked with the dark brown of the woman she loved, Arizona unbuttoned her own pants and lowered them slowly to the floor. She watched as Callie's eyes became impossibly darker and her breathing became even more shallow.

"I'm going to take care of you, Calliope." Arizona said in a sultry voice before bending to slid the fingers of both of her hands under Callie's underwear.

She felt the Latina jerk at the contact and it only made the smirk on her face more evident. Grasping the sides of the garment firmly, the blonde slid them down caramel thighs.

Callie watched from the head of the couch through heavily hooded lids. The feather light feel of Arizona's fingers as they made their way down her legs was a sweet torture. She could feel her wetness continuing to make itself known.

When her panties finally reached her ankles, she kicked them across the room and reached for Arizona.

"Come here." she said in a heavy whisper.

The blonde smiled genuinely at her and quickly relieved herself of her own underwear. Taking Callie's proffered hand, she lowered herself back down to her body.

Both women moaned when their half naked bodies came back into contact. Callie's wet heat left Arizona feeling dizzy as it smeared across her lower stomach. She felt her lover instantly wrap her legs across her back and the feeling of being surrounded by her caused Arizona's own wetness to increase.

She dropped her right leg to the floor next to the couch and used the leverage the position provided to push against Callie's body. The sensual grunt from full lips at the gesture let the blonde know her idea was going to go over well.

Her center was sliding wetly across Callie's left thigh. The jolts of pleasure flowing through her body at the contact caused her to moan. She brought her lips back to the Latina's and passionately kissed her.

Using her right hand, she glided her fingers down between their bodies until she came to Callie's center. Once again, the heat, rolling in waves, was insane. Adjusting their positions slightly, Arizona lowered her fingers and gently spread her lover open.

Callie gasped, almost painfully, into her mouth before turning her head to attempt to breathe.

"Ari...what are..."

Before her lover could question her further, Arizona moved so that her own sex could settle hotly against the body beneath her own. Removing her fingers from Callie's folds, she brought both of her hands up and let them rest against the arm rest above her girlfriend's head.

Pushing forward, using the leverage her right foot on the floor provided, the blonde rolled her body into Callie's. Their wetness normally would have made the position nearly impossible, but with Callie's legs wrapped around Arizona's waist and Arizona's foot keeping them in place, the two of them quickly fell into a familiar dance.

The Latina gently placed her hands on the sides of the blonde's face and proceeded to kiss her several times. Her lips nipped and sucked and teased as her hips moved to stay in contact with the body above her.

Her heart was pounding loudly in her head and the hot, wet friction between her thighs was pure decadence. She and Arizona had only ever used this position once and at that time, they'd not been lying down together. Their current positions allowed for much more contact.

Arizona continued to grind her heated sex against her lover's. She was unsure, now, whose wetness belonged to whom. Her clit was on fire and the steady throbbing was almost painful in its intensity.

Kissing Callie's lips fully, she pulled away and moved her head so that her mouth could find the other woman's ear.

Voice heavy with emotion and ragged with her efforts, Arizona whispered, "Is this how you want me to touch you, Calliope?"

Her hips picked up their pace and she heard, as well as felt, her lover moan at the sensation.

"Yesss." Callie hissed through clenched teeth. "You're amazing...don't stop...don't stop, Ari."

Callie's hands moved slowly from the blonde's face down her neck and finally to her shoulders. Her nails dug into creamy white shoulder blades as she felt the onset of her orgasm approaching.

"I love you...I love you...you feel so good, Calliope."

The raven haired woman found that she could no longer speak. The heat between her legs was burning a fire in her soul and the liberating amounts of pleasure Arizona was causing was enough to stop her higher brain functions.

All she could do was roll her hips and dig her fingers into the body on top of her. Her heart was racing in an effort to find her release while at the same time her body wanted only to live on the precipice forever.

This was life. This was emotion at its purest form. This was the meaning of existence. It wasn't just about how good the experience felt, though that didn't exactly hurt matters any, it was about the connection. It was about experiencing life with another person who loved you wholly; as you lived them. That moment before release was always Callie's favorite. It was the most guileless time she could ever imagine.

As her body finally found its bliss with her partner, she couldn't help the sob that came from her lips or the tears that spilled from her eyes. Arizona was perfect and when they moved together, breathed together and came together, the entire act only cemented that truth for her.

* * *

Arizona let her body sag on the curvaceous form beneath her. Her breathing was sharp and ragged. She allowed her hands, which had been on the arm rest of the couch, to fall to either side of Callie's face. Softly, she turned her head and her nose traced along the outside of her girlfriend's throat.

The dark skinned woman lowered her legs from a slender waist and ran her foot along the back of Arizona's right calf. Her hands found their way to the nape of a blonde head and she tenderly threaded her fingers into golden tresses. She could feel the reassuring cadence of the smaller woman's heart against her chest and it caused her own heart to skip a beat.

The tears that had escaped her eyes during her fall into the abyss were cooling in light tracks down her cheeks. She swallowed a moan when she felt the warm body atop of her own shift slightly.

Arizona brought her left hand to Callie's cheek and let her thumb gently caress her skin. Smiling fully, she searched her face for a moment before leaning down and tenderly kissing away salty tears. Her lips were light and soft as they moved from the dark haired Latina's cheeks to her nose and then to her eyelids. The blonde whispered kisses across her brow and hairline and finally met full lips in a searing panorama of love.

Callie smiled into the kiss and turned her head to allow her tongue to slip into Arizona's mouth. Her entire body was thrumming with emotion. She couldn't seem to find a position that would get her as close to her lover as her body desired.

The woman on top of her pulled away from her lips and brushed her hair away from her face.

"I love you, Calliope. So much."

Callie opened her eyes to meet her lover's gaze and felt herself falling in love with the blonde all over again. Arizona was smiling her special smile. Her eyes were sparkling with adoration and amazement and her lips were stretched into a thin line that tugged at the corners of her mouth.

The Latina dropped her right hand from the smaller woman's hair and trailed it over her collar bone in a sensual pattern.

"I love you, too. I think I fall in love with you everyday." Callie whispered as she lowered her eyes and watched her fingers run along a smooth chest.

Laughing softly, Arizona kissed the other woman quickly before rolling away from her body.

"That's good to know, because I want to be around for a long, long time. Now, let's save water and take a shower together. We'll deal with Terri's gift afterward."

* * *

Some time later, Callie and Arizona found themselves back on the blonde's couch. Their hair was still damp from their recent shower together and both of their bodies were glowing with a warm heat.

Callie sat herself down in the right corner of the couch and brought her legs up under her. She watched as her girlfriend settled herself to her left and mimicked her position.

"Okay, let's see what else is in there." Arizona said as she leaned her body against her lover's.

Callie gave her hand a quick squeeze and leaned forward to grab the box on the table in front of them. Pulling the lid off, she handed the container to the smaller woman.

Arizona hesitated for a moment before reaching inside to remove the two items she'd looked over earlier. Feeling the softness of Hannah's swaddle under her fingers brought a small smile to her face. She placed the dvds on her coffee table and looked back inside the box in her hands.

The first item her eyes landed on brought a flare of mixed emotions. Reaching inside, she pulled out a thin newspaper clipping. It was Hannah's obituary.

She read the words on the black and white piece of paper several times. She couldn't remember ever having seen them before. Terri must have dealt with the matter. The obituary did not have a picture of her daughter, and for that she was grateful. The biographical information said only that she'd passed away after a battle with an unnamed disease.

It went on to list that her parents, Pediatric surgeon, Dr. Arizona Robbins and her partner, Dr. Teresa Clashe would be holding a memorial service later in the week. She couldn't even recall the memorial service mentioned.

"Arizona?" a gentle voice called to her.

Blinking, she turned her head and looked into the face of her girlfriend.

"I'm sorry. I don't...I don't remember any of this. Why would she put this in here?" the blonde asked.

Callie took the obit from the blonde and looked it over. Towards the middle of the small strip of paper was a section stating that Hannah was preceded in death by one uncle, Major Daniel Robbins Jr, United States Marine Corp. She let her eyes scan over the rest of the obituary and looked back to the waiting face of her girlfriend.

"I think that's why, Arizona. You went into a...a fugue state it sounds like. You can't even recall these events." she said holding up the paper in her hand.

"It wasn't a good time, Calliope." the blonde said defensively.

Callie leaned closer to the other woman and brought a tanned hand to her wrist.

"Hey, no one's saying it was. I think Terri was trying to get you to face reality when she put this in there. You closed yourself off from everybody, Ari. You tried to run from things so you wouldn't have to deal with them. Your type A personality did a number on you."

Looking back at the newspaper clipping in her hand, she continued.

"This is the reality, sweetheart. I hate that it is. You didn't allow yourself to grieve. You were afraid to face those emotions. I think Terri wants you to feel what you need to feel."

Arizona could feel her eyes beginning to sting from her unshed tears. Her throat was swelling from her battle with herself. She reached for her daughter's obit and as she looked at it, she felt heavy tears fall from her eyes.

"I miss her so much, Calliope."

With that admission, the peds attending finally broke down. Everything she'd been keeping in or keeping at bay left her body in a wild release of emotions. Callie wrapped her in her arms and whispered sweet nothings in her ear. For several minutes, the tall latina was at a loss as to how else she could comfort her lover.

She knew that Arizona's acceptance and grief were long overdue, but she still couldn't help but feel inept as she cradled the small body she loved in her embrace. Her heart hurt for the blonde. She couldn't imagine the emotions her girlfriend was experiencing. It was still hard for the dark skinned woman to accept the fact that, yes, her lover, her Arizona had lost a child.

Kissing the tip of the blonde's ear, she closed her eyes as she rocked their bodies in a soothing pattern.

Eventually, she felt the other woman's tears starting to slow their pace and the body in her arms shook with less force than before.

Bending her head to meet blue eyes, Callie smiled sadly and kissed the corner of Arizona's lips.

"Are you okay?" she asked.

The smaller woman stared at her for a moment. Her hands were on Callie's shoulder and the warmth of her body brought her back to the present. She couldn't believe how lucky she was to have such an amazing woman to spend her life with. Callie's presence made anything seem possible. Though her heart felt raw and her emotions ragged, having the other woman by her side left her with the feeling that she could take on anything and survive.

Returning the light kiss she'd received, Arizona sniffed back her tears and nodded slowly.

"I am now. I guess I needed to get all of that out, huh?" she replied, laughing nervously.

"Yeah, I think you did, baby." Callie said in a soft tone of voice. Her fingers were running up and down the blonde's arms in a further attempt to calm her nerves.

"Calliope? Thank you. I know I've said that a lot lately, but you have no idea how much having you here helps. All of this...it feels like it should be another person's drama. Not mine."

"I know." the Latina said.

"You've stuck by me through it all, even when I pushed you away. I just..." the blonde paused as her eyes traveled across the beautiful face in front of her.

Shrugging, she smiled and finished with, "Thank you."

Callie returned her smile and kissed her sweetly on the lips. Deciding to lighten the mood, the raven haired woman said, "I've only put up with it because the sex is so earth shattering."

Both women burst into a fit of laughter at the ortho surgeon's joke. Arizona could feel her mood beginning to brighten at the rich sound of her girlfriend's deep laughing. Grabbing the other woman's hand, she brought her fingers to her lips and kissed the tips of them.

"I love you." the blonde stated simply.

The taller woman rewarded her with a million watt smile that only enhanced her mood.

"I love you, too, baby. Now, let's finish looking over things so we can sleep. All that hot sex has worn me out.

Arizona continued to stare at the other woman with a sense of wonder before finally bringing her attention back to the box next to her.

Tossing the obituary onto the table next to the swaddle and dvds, she looked back into the container holding so many memories.

Another thin piece of paper greeted her. She smiled as she lifted it from the bottom of the box.

Callie's breath caught when she saw it and she smiled. "Hannah's birth certificate."

The blonde ran her fingers over the letters of her daughter's name. She remembered the day of her birth in vivid detail. The labor, the delivery, finally meeting the tiny little life that she'd carried for nine months. She remembered everything about that day. She remembered Terri being every bit the 'expectant father'. She remembered her own parents hovering in nervous anticipation.

Everything about that day, January 13th, she knew she'd never forget. Never in her life had she felt more important than when she'd finally held her daughter in her arms. That day, she'd changed for the better because she was no longer just responsible for herself. She was responsible for another life. A life more important than her own. A life that cemented what it mean to be human.

Callie was silent as she watched her girlfriend. A shy smile could be seen on the blonde's face and Callie knew that she was remembering the day of Hannah's birth. She watched as her fingers continued to trace the letters on the birth certificate.

"Why did you name her Hannah?" she asked, jolting Arizona from her reverie.

The smaller woman shook her head and continued to smile.

"Hannah was my father's mother's name. We named her after my grandmother. Terri wanted a connection with her, so we named her after Terri's mother, Marie. Hannah Marie."

The dark skinned woman laid her hand on top of her girlfriend's and laced their fingers together. She could tell that the blonde's relationship with her daughter, though short lived, had been powerful. Sighing, she realized how much she wished she could have seen that side of her lover.

"That's a pretty name, Ari."

Arizona took a breath as her eyes stayed focused on her child's birth certificate.

"Yeah, little Hannah Marie. My 'Dims'. She wasn't just a dream." she said in a near silent whisper.

Callie scrunched her brows as she realized that the blonde's ending statement had been more to herself than anything else.

"Arizona?" she questioned, wondering at the meaning behind the words.

The blonde blinked at turned her head to meet her gaze.

"At times, I've missed her so much that the pain was too unbearable. Everything's gotten so blurred in my mind that I'd almost convinced myself that she'd only been a dream."

Shaking her head and taking a deep breath, she continued, "If she was just a dream, then I wouldn't have to miss her so badly. I know it sounds crazy. I don't know how else to explain it. But, holding this, it's confirmation of her life. Being surrounded by all of these things...it's so overwhelming, but in a good way."

Callie remained quiet as the blonde's words settled around her. She understood, in a small way, what the other woman was trying to say. When George had died, it had been easier for her to believe that he hadn't meant as much to her as he had. Though her feelings for the man had been nowhere near as strong as the feelings Arizona had felt for her daughter, she could see what the other woman was attempting to explain.

"She wasn't a dream, baby. She was your little girl and you were her amazing mother. She was so lucky to get to experience life with you in it."

Arizona released a breath and a huge smile broke out across her face. She grasped her girlfriend's hand tightly and squeezed her fingers.

"Calliope...I wish you could have known her. She would have adored you."

Callie's smile faded somewhat, but she kept the light in her eyes so as not to alarm her lover. The blonde's statement rocked her for a moment. She wanted a baby so badly. Knowing what she now knew about Arizona's past, she couldn't ever see that dream coming to fruition. A child was the only thing missing in her life to fully complete the dream she had for herself.

She wanted a house, and a family, and even crazy chickens in her future. The house and the chickens were a reality. The children, their children, their family was not. She'd told the other woman that she didn't want kids if it meant she couldn't have her in her life and she'd meant that. It still stung to know she'd never get to experience the joy of childbirth or the simple act of holding her own tiny human.

Smiling brightly once more she said, "Me too, Ari. I would have been crazy about her."

Arizona didn't notice the slight waver in Callie voice. She tossed a quick smile her lover's way and leaned forward once again to place the latest item from the box on the coffee table.

"Okay, what's next?" she said as she placed her fingers back inside of the container. For a third time, she pulled out a thin sheet of paper.

For a moment, she thought she was staring at another copy of Hannah's birth certificate. When her eyes scanned the document more fully, she noticed the heading at the top.

**'Certificate of Death'**

She felt herself shaking her head. The document listed Hannah's date of birth, date of demise, reason for demise and the location of said demise. Dropping the piece of paper, she stood quickly, the box falling to the floor.

Despite herself, she couldn't seem to understand Terri's reasoning for placing Hannah's death certificate in the container. The obituary had been bad enough, but the death certificate was just morbid.

Squeezing her eyes shut tightly, she brought a hand to her forehead.

Callie bent down to pick the document from off the floor. She allowed her eyes to take in the information on the paper before sighing. Hannah had died on January 2nd. Eleven days before her fifth birthday. Also listed was the name and birth place of Hannah's mother, Arizona. The section for her father's information was blank.

It stated the cause of death as Acute Lymphoblastic Leukemia.

"Arizo-"

Before she could offer any words of comfort, the blonde turned around and spoke over her.

"This isn't helpful in anyway, Calliope. I know how my daughter died. I know when she died. I know."

Wiping a hand across her nose, she said, "You know, we first realized something might be wrong when we noticed petechia on Hannah's stomach. She'd had a fever a few weeks before and had lost some weight. I took her to the hospital and examined her myself. I ran a complete blood count to exclude any other diseases and when everything came back and her white blood cell count was so high, I still refused to believe what my medical knowledge was telling me."

Callie stood a few feet away from the blonde and listened with a heavy heart. Her eyes were shining with unshed tears and her fingers were tightly grasping the death certificate in her hands.

"My three year had to have a bone marrow biopsy. She was so scared, Calliope. Even though they gave her a local anesthetic, she still cried. When we got the results, they only confirmed what we already knew."

Arizona bit the inside of her cheek and swallowed several times to keep herself from crying.

"We caught it early enough. Her survival rate was promising. We waited for results, like I told you before. When things weren't looking up, her doctors ordered a lumbar puncture. A lumbar puncture on a four year old. The cancer had spread into her spinal column and into her brain."

The Latina continued to listen to her girlfriend's sad words. Her tears had long since fallen from her eyes and she was finding it difficult to remain standing.

"Her survival rate plummeted. I knew that. Hannah's doctor's knew that. Still, I fought for her. I read up on everything I could find about her condition. I refused to let her become a statistic."

Turning away from her lover, Arizona let her eyes get lost in front of her. She inhaled deeply as she recalled her battle to save her little girl.

"I knew it was only a matter of time, but I couldn't accept that. The cancer was so aggressive, Calliope and she was so tired. I stepped out of her room one day to grab a coffee and clear my head and when I got back-"

Her voice caught in her throat and she shook her head before closing her eyes.

"When I got back, Hannah was gone. So, I know how she died. I didn't need Terri giving me Hannah's death certificate to make that real for me."

She turned and walked towards her bedroom.

Callie bit her lip and raised her eyes to the ceiling above her. The entire situation was so sad. Listening to Arizona speak about the ordeal had almost been too much for the latina. She licked her lips and tasted her own tears. Wiping her face with her hand, she turned and watched as her girlfriend disappeared into her bedroom.

She remained in the living room for a moment so she could calm herself. The death certificate was still in her grasp and she found herself wondering what Terri's purpose had been in giving it to the smaller woman.

The answer hit her full force and she nearly gasped with elation. Turning, she followed her lover's earlier trek and entered the bedroom.

Arizona was lying on her side on her bed. Her knees were tucked up by her chest in a fetal position and her hands were between her face and the pillow underneath her head.

Callie walked over to her and squatted next to her on the floor. The blonde refused to look at her and continued to stare at the wall across the room.

"Arizona, I think I know why Terri sent this." she started slowly.

The blonde met her gaze and raised an eyebrow in silent question.

Hesitating, Callie sighed and said, "I think you need to talk to her about it. She's not leaving until tomorrow, Ari and-"

"No. I'm not meeting her, Calliope. I won't do that to you again."

The Mexican woman matched her gaze evenly and let her fingers trace a tender path down her cheek.

_"Mi amor_, I'm asking you to do this. I'll go with you. We can meet her together and talk with her about everything, okay? Once you know about the Travers and-"

Arizona sat up and rested her weight on her right arm.

"The Travers? So, she did recommend that case and you knew? How did you know?" she asked quickly. She wasn't angry, just confused and emotionally spent.

Callie turned her head and pursed her lips.

"I figured it out when I ran into Terri in the elevator. Arizona, let her help you put this behind you. I'll be with you and we'll do this together, okay?"

"Okay, her number is on the dresser."

The dark haired woman stood from her place on the floor and walked across the room.

"I'll call her. You just get yourself ready." she said.


	29. Chapter 29

**Chapter 29:**

Terri paced at the foot of the bed in her hotel. Dressed in a pair of dark track pants and a loose fitting t-shirt, the tall brunette stopped in her tracks and faced the vanity in the far corner of the room. Sitting herself on the stool in front of the desk, Terri gave herself a once over before quickly throwing her thick brown hair into a high ponytail.

Arizona was going to be in the same room as her, again. She'd not seen the blonde since her disastrous kiss a few days before. Her mind was racing as to how their meeting could go. One side of her was completely professional. That side of her was in "therapist mode", as Arizona had once called it. She was hoping that part of her would remain at the forefront of her mind, because the other side of her was nothing but emotion. It was furious at the idea of the blonde's girlfriend intruding on a matter that had absolutely nothing to do with her.

Though, if she was honest with herself, the green-eyed woman could understand the desire for the hispanic woman's presence. She just felt put off by Arizona finally coming to talk with her about Hannah and bringing Dr. Torres along. Her ex's girlfriend knew nothing about their daughter. She'd never met her and she certainly had not been around when the, once giggling, child had gotten sick. Her "therapist" side told her it was because Arizona wanted the other woman's familiarity and support, but her emotional side couldn't stop the rising irritation coursing through her bloodstream.

A loud knock at the door silenced her inner turmoil and she stood quickly from the stool she'd been sitting on. Taking a deep, and very calming breath, Terri exited the room. Her long legs brought her quickly to the front door and she wasted little time in opening it.

Callie greeted her with a half smile. Her wavy mess of jet black hair was cascading around her face and lying against her shoulders. Terri smiled weakly and let her eyes look past the dark skinned woman so they could land on her ex.

Arizona met her eyes, but did not smile in greeting. Terri noticed that the blonde had pulled her own hair into a messy tail. Both she and Callie were dressed in dark jeans and bright colored blouses. The brunette suppressed a smirk that threatened to overcome her features.

It seemed that the lesbian 'urge to merge' had already visited the couple standing before her.

Shaking her head in an effort to clear her thoughts, Terri stepped back and opened the door more fully to allow the two women entrance.

"Please, come in. Make yourselves comfortable." she said. Her nerves were already on edge, but she attempted to calm them by imagining that this situation was just another therapy session.

Arizona walked past her and pulled her jacket from her shoulders. Tossing the jacket onto the chair next to the fireplace, she turned to regard her ex.

Callie, for her part, was looking around the room with interest. Posh surroundings were no new thing for her, but she had to admit that Terri's room spoke a lot about her refined taste. She noticed her girlfriend removing her jacket and throwing it, carelessly, into a chair. Before she could say anything, the blonde's voice cut through the silence in the room.

"Explain it, Terri. All of it."

Terri shut the front door and turned around slowly. She knew this meeting was going to be hectic, but she'd held out a slim hope that things wouldn't become that way so soon. Judging by the stiff stance Arizona held, the brunette realized that 'hectic' didn't even begin to describe how things were going to unfold.

"Arizona, why don't we sit and-" Callie tried to diffuse the situation, but her lover spoke over her and continued to stare at Terri.

"The Travers? The obituary? Her death certificate? What the hell is wrong with you? Why would you recommend a case like theirs to me? Not only did that little girl share Hannah's condition, she favored her, Terri! So, you explain to me how any of this was helpful."

Terri walked towards her, but remained silent. When she passed by Callie, she said, "Dr. Torres. If you'd like, you're welcome to take off your jacket and have a seat. I can order you both something if you're hungry."

Callie smiled shyly and dipped her head. "Uh, thanks Terri. We ate earlier."

She turned her eyes back towards Arizona and rolled her jacket off her shoulders.

"Baby, please sit down and let's hear what she has to say."

It wasn't often that Callie was the voice of reason. Normally, it was the blonde who spoke in neutral tones and offered comforting words of support. Since learning about Hannah and especially upon Terri's arrival, Callie had noticed that, more and more, she was having to be the 'good man in a storm' for Arizona.

Terri took a seat on the bench in front of the piano and sighed. Her eyes never left the blonde's. She could see Arizona debating the pros and cons of taking her girlfriend's advice.

"I'm sorry, Ter. Just, please don't play mind games with me. I want straight answers." she said before sitting in the chair she'd thrown her jacket into.

The slender woman took a breath and crossed her hands in front of her. Looking from Callie to Arizona, she finally spoke.

"I played the piano earlier."

Arizona shook her head in disbelief, "What?"

"I played the piano, Zona. I haven't played since before Hannah died. I played for her." she finished quietly.

Callie was listening nervously. Never in her life had she felt more like a third wheel. She knew without a doubt that Arizona loved her. She knew and was confident in their feelings for one another. But, she also couldn't help but notice the ease with which Terri and Arizona conversed.

Between the shortened versions of each others names, which had more to do with habit than affection, and the history that belonged only to them, Callie was finding herself completely at a loss.

"Terri, what does that have to do with anything?" Arizona asked suddenly.

The woman on the piano bench sat up and popped her back. Releasing a frustrated breath, she spoke again, this time in a slightly agitated voice.

"You just can't see it, can you? We've both been on pause in some ways since Hannah died, Arizona. You know how much playing meant to me."

The blonde dipped her head in agreement.

"When Hannah got sick, I didn't have time to sit around and 'polish the ivories'." Terri continued. "I put that part of myself on pause. This morning, before Callie called, I played." Terri said with wonder lacing her words.

Her eyes were begging Arizona to understand her.

"You played for her?" the smaller woman asked in a whisper.

Terri laughed and sat up straighter. "I played for her, Zona and it felt good. It was a release. I felt her sitting next to me...just like she used to."

Arizona chuckled lightly and let her gaze settle on Callie's face.

"Terri's been playing the piano since she was six. We used to joke that Hannah got her fascination with the piano from her." she explained to her girlfriend.

Callie smiled and nodded her head in understanding. She felt slightly better having the blonde include her in the conversation, though a small part of her still felt sick witnessing the two women reminisce.

Silence engulfed the three of them for moment. In the distance, the gentle rumble of far off thunder could be heard. Another storm was on the horizon.

Terri cleared her throat and leaned forward to rest her elbows on her thighs.

"Arizona, I want that for you. I want you to find your release so that you can remember her without so much pain."

Shaking her head, the blonde felt her bottom lip begin to tremble.

"There's no such release, Terri."

Looking back with apologetic eyes to Callie, the green eyed woman slid from the piano bench and dropped to her knees in front of Arizona. She placed her hands on the cushions to either side of the blonde and spoke in a gentle voice.

"How did you feel when you saw Hannah's swaddle?"

Callie leaned forward in her own chair as she watched every movement the brunette made. She didn't actually believe Terri would try anything, but the hot-headed and jealous side of her couldn't be denied.

Arizona inhaled a sharp breath and brought the fingers of her left hand to her lips.

"I felt like I did the day she was born." she started in a rush. "It still smells like her, Terri. She was so beautiful and new and..." she paused when she felt her throat constrict.

Terri lowered her head so that she could continue to hold her ex's gaze. She could hear Callie moving behind her and she hoped the other woman wouldn't distract Arizona from saying what needed to be said.

"And what, Arizona?" she asked quietly.

Sitting back on her knees, Terri continued to wait for a response. The blonde looked up and a sad smile graced her face.

"I felt like a mother, again. I-I wanted to be a mother again." she stated simply.

Callie made a noise that resembled a gasp mixed with a sigh before going silent once more. Terri spared a quick glance to her left and noticed not so shy tears shining in the Mexican woman's eyes. When Callie caught her staring, she blinked quickly and wiped the tears from her face.

The green-eyed woman lowered her brows for moment in thought while she processed the tall doctor's reaction.

Arizona's eyes were staring intently at her own hands. She'd not forgotten how badly her girlfriend wanted a baby. That desire had culminated into their current predicament. It was a fact that the blonde couldn't overlook. Callie wanted a baby. She needed a child. She wanted to be a mother. Arizona didn't want her lover giving up that dream but she wasn't sure if she could be a part of it either.

She knew with absolute certainty that Calliope Torres was the love of her life. She was the 'great love story' she'd yearned for. Thinking about Callie being with someone else, having a child with someone else, left her feeling utterly alone and cold.

On the other hand, imagining a child conceived by both she and Callie caused a strong stir of mixed emotions to flare within her abdomen. Their child would be happy, just as her girlfriend had said. She smiled inwardly as her thoughts took her to a wondrously perceived fantasy of the future.

She saw Callie ranting in Spanish as the hormones caused by her pregnancy ignited a horrid fury over anything and everything. She saw herself with her head on Callie's stomach as the two of them listened and felt the gentle kicking of tiny feet.

Allowing her fantasy to take a stronger hold in her mind, the blonde followed it to the delivery room where she and Callie were holding their child and seeing them for the first time. She saw diaper changes and feedings. She watched as an exhausted Callie slept on the couch as she rocked their child to sleep. She saw birthdays and holidays with both their families. She saw a beautiful future in her fantasy.

But, she also saw Hannah. How could she think about another child when she'd lost her own? How could she do everything she'd done with Hannah all over again? How would she ever survive if something happened to the child she'd brought into the world with Calliope? How?

Instead of a gorgeous little girl with Callie's dark hair and eyes, her fantasy now showed her a skinny and very pale young girl with light brown hair and magnificent blue eyes. Where before, she'd seen and heard happiness and laughter, now her mind bombarded her with death and beeping machines.

She couldn't give Callie what she wanted. She couldn't forget Hannah. She couldn't risk it all again. She couldn't.

Clearing her throat, she looked up and found Callie's face. The other woman was regarding her with concerned eyes. She realized that she'd been quiet for a time as her mind traveled it's own conceived view of destiny.

"You are a mother, Arizona. You always will be." Terri said breaking the silence.

Callie shifted in her chair and crossed her legs. She dropped her eyes to the floor and inhaled before locking gazes with Arizona's once more.

"Ari...Terri's right." the dark haired woman spoke in a voice thick with emotion.

The heaviness of the tone wasn't lost on the brunette. She stood up in one fluid motion and scratched her head. Arizona looked up at her before her eyes fell, once more, on Callie.

"Just explain everything Terri. I don't want to have to guess." the blonde said without taking her eyes away from the brown before her.

The green eyed woman sighed and walked to the dining area behind her. She returned with an elegant looking bottle and three fluted wine glasses. Sitting them on the table, she sat down heavily on the couch and took the wine bottle in her hands.

_"Chteau Valandraud Saint-Emilion, 1995._" she said as she turned the bottle of wine in her grasp.

Callie raised an eyebrow.

"That's like a $700 bottle of wine." she said. She turned to look back at her girlfriend and noticed a tight expression on the face she loved.

Terri nodded her head and placed the bottle down on the table.

"Yeah, it is. It's a little self indulgence on my part. I think we all deserve a drink because we are some highly entertaining people."

Callie was completely confused. She couldn't seem to make herself understand how exactly things had arrived where they currently were. One minute they'd been talking about Hannah and the next, they were sitting around a table with an insanely expensive bottle of wine.

How had her girlfriend put up with such...'randomosity' for seven years?

Arizona shook her head and pursed her lips. She couldn't believe that she'd actually thought her ex was capable of giving her a straight answer. All she wanted to know was why. Simple as that. Why had she recommended the Travers? Why had she put Hannah's death certificate in the box?

She opened her mouth to give voice to her growing ire when Terri turned to Callie and offered her a glass of wine.

"You want kids, don't you?" she asked as she brought her own wine glass to her lips.

Callie stuttered over her words and looked in the direction of the blonde.

"Wh...what? I-I didn't say that. Why would...why would you ask that? We're here for Ar-"

"Damnit Terri. Leave it alone. I knew this was a bad idea. I knew you'd play the therapist card. We're leaving. Come on, Calliope." she said as she stood and lowered a hand towards her girlfriend.

Callie stood and reached for her jacket. Lost didn't even begin to describe her current state. She wished Arizona's ex would just talk instead of speaking in riddles. It was confounding. Before either woman could take a step, Terri spoke.

"You're not responsible for Hannah's death, Zona."

Arizona turned harsh eyes on the slim brunette as she drew a ragged breath into her body. She chose not to ask Terri to explain herself because she knew the other woman would only further confuse the situation if she did.

"Hannah died due to Acute Lymphoblastic Leukemia." Terri continued.

The smaller woman closed her eyes a moment. Her heart was racing. Terri couldn't know. There was no way. She'd not spoken of her guilt to anyone.

She felt Callie's hand on her shoulder and she opened her eyes again. Terri was still sitting on the couch with a glass of wine in her hands. Her eyes were sparkling as if she alone had all the answers to all of life's questions.

"Terri, look I don't know you, but if you have something to say just say it." Callie said and Arizona felt comforted by the words.

Smiling her perfect smile, the green eyed woman continued to stare at her ex.

"Okay, fine. We'll do it your way, Zona. You always were the worst patient."

"Terri, I'm not your patient. I never was. I was your-" she spared Callie a sad look before, "I was your partner. I was...I was Hannah's mother. I know how she died."

"Do you?" Terri asked raising her eyebrows to emphasize her point.

"Fine, here it all is. I recommended the Traver's to you to help you. Melanie has ALL. She was diagnosed when she was three. Just like Hannah. She's undergone the same course of treatment as Hannah did. Unlike Hannah, Melanie developed a hepatoblastoma. You saved her, Arizona. Her chances were slim, but you managed to save her and now it looks as if she's well on the road to recovery."

Arizona sat down in the chair to the right of the couch and she felt Callie sitting herself on the armrest.

"How was that helpful? Melanie's here. Hannah...isn't." she asked sadly.

Terri ignored the question and continued speaking.

"Hannah's death certificate states that her cause of death was ALL. It doesn't say Arizona Robbins. You know what I'm talking about, Zona. Piece it all together."

Throwing her hands in the air, the blonde practically yelled, "I don't want to piece it together!"

Callie laced their fingers together and whispered, "_Usted mismo, calmar amor"_

_'Calmar'_ was the only word that Arizona caught outside of _'Amor_'. Taking a calming breath, she sighed and squeezed Callie's hand in her own.

Terri took another sip of her wine and watched the exchange. Being her sometimes was hard. She noticed everything. She saw everything. Body language was a language she was fluent in. She could pick up any and every nuance a person tried to hide. It's what made her an excellent psychologist. It's also something that she was only just realizing was a not so endearing trait in a partner.

"When Danny died, you were beside yourself with grief. Hannah's condition had just taken a turn for the worst and the news of your brother shattered you, Arizona. When I asked you how we were supposed to tell Hannah, you said you wished we had waited. Do you remember?"

Arizona looked stricken. Terri did know. But, how? Her guilt over Hannah's sudden turn for the worst and ensuing death had paralyzed her. Were it not for Callie, Arizona wasn't sure where she'd be. She remembered the day Terri was speaking about.

When she'd gotten the call about her brother, she'd been unable to respond at all. She remembered Terri taking the phone from her and later, she recalled the two of them sitting at the foot of their bed as the news became a reality for both of them.

Terri had asked her how they were supposed to tell 'Dims' about Danny. Arizona had been too drained, too torn and tired and beaten down to think about how she was going to tell her sick child about her uncle.

In a moment of grief and a haze of misery, she'd told her, then girlfriend, that she just wished that the two of them had waited; that they'd waited before deciding to have a child. To have Hannah. It wasn't that she wished that Hannah wasn't in their lives. It was more a statement said in a moment when the world just seemed to be throwing her too much. She had, at the time, one too many things to think about. To worry about.

"Arizona, what is she talking about?" Callie asked when the silence continued to stretch to the point of oppression.

Terri turned her eyes in Callie's direction briefly before returning them back to the blonde. Arizona's face was the epitome of horror. She looked as if she were a child caught with her hand in the proverbial cookie jar. The green eyed woman knew she'd hit the nail on the head just by the look in her ex's eyes.

"Terri...just...stop. You don't know what you're talk-" the smaller woman started.

"Don't lie, Zona. It took me long enough to figure all of this out. Let's not stretch it any farther than need be, hmm?" Terri cut her off, quickly.

"You've been holding onto this irrational guilt for two years and it's time to let it go. That's your release, Arizona. You feel responsible for Hannah's death. In a moment of weakness, when you lost your brother, you wished that we'd waited before having Hannah. Her condition was on a steady decline and two months after Danny, Hannah passed away. You've been blaming yourself all this time because you believe you got your wish, in a sense. Am I close, Zona?"

Terri's words filled the room and left its occupants with heavy hearts. Callie couldn't believe the words she was hearing. Was Terri correct? Did Arizona feel responsible for her daughter's passing? Surely the blonde knew how illogical her line of thinking was. Hannah died because she was sick. Nothing more.

"I did get my wish, Terri! We got to focus on our careers, didn't we? We didn't have to worry about a sick child lying in a hospital bed day in and day out! Gone were the tests and the poking and the prodding and the constant sound of hospital machines. We got to be just us, didn't we? I saved Melanie, damnit! I couldn't even save my own daughter, but I saved your patient! I got my fucking wish and now I have to live with the repercussions everyday! So, don't tell me I'm not responsible. I am...I am."

Arizona's words broke as her breathing caught sharply in her chest. She hung her head and fought with herself for air. There was a tightness in her body that was threatening to explode. That tightness was her guilt and it was battling explosively within her small frame. Her throat was raw from yelling at her ex and her heart was racing in an attempt to bring order to her mind.

Terri was right. She was right about everything. Arizona did feel responsible. That feeling of guilt had stood in her way for two years. It had been the reason she'd not been able to properly heal after losing Hannah. And now? Now it was convinced to manifest itself with each ragged intake of breath. Now it was hiding, lurking, just beneath the surface of her sanity.

"Baby, listen to me." Callie's voice drifted sweetly to ears. "You know Hannah's death wasn't your fault. Deep down, you have to know that. It was just a matter of medicine, Ari. Sometimes we beat the odds and other times, we don't.:

Arizona continued to to keep her eyes closed and her head hung low as she rocked softly in the chair. She felt Callie's right hand on the back of her neck.

"Look at me, _mariposa._"

The blonde opened her eyes and sniffed back her emotions. '_Mariposa_' was a nickname her girlfriend had given her shortly after they'd started dating. Callie had told her it was Spanish for 'butterfly' and had then proceeded to tell her about her talk with God and asking for His help in allowing her to get over her own butterflies.

Of all the names Callie could call her, had ever called her, _Mariposa_ had always been her favorite.

She brought her head up and met Callie's steady gaze. The other woman's eyes were dark and deep and shining with unwavering support for her. She could see Terri in her periphery.

"Arizona, do you remember what you asked me in the chapel shortly after we'd started dating?" Callie asked softly.

The blonde's lips curled into a small smile as she thought back on that day fondly. It hadn't been a happy time, but Callie had opened up to her that day. She'd let her guard down and spoken of her fears and her guilt over wishing that Izzie Stevens was dead. It had been a bonding moment between the two women.

Nodding her head slowly, she continued to keep her eyes locked on her girlfriend.

Callie rubbed the back of her neck in a comforting manner before speaking again.

"I was in the chapel that day praying for Izzie to live just like I imagine you did when Hannah was sick. I know you're not a very religious person, Ari but I'd bet you prayed and begged and pleaded with whatever greater power would listen back then."

Arizona allowed her eyes to fall to the floor as she listened to her girlfriend's words. She had prayed. She had begged. She had pleaded. She had done all those things and more. All she had wanted was for her little girl to be whole again. She'd been willing to do anything, believe anything, if it meant her daughter's condition would make a turn for the better.

Terri leaned forward and placed her glass of wine on the table. Her eyes studied the two women next to her and she smiled. This was the moment she'd waited for. Arizona's emotions, all of her emotions, had finally broken through the surface and were now laid bare before her. After two years, the blue eyed blonde was now ready to start the healing process. Everything was out. The road to recovery had been paved and now Terri hoped that her ex would finally walk it.

"Arizona, I'm sorry for how I went about things. It's my nature, you know that. You also know that it's better for the mind to discover things for itself. I couldn't just tell you everything like you wanted me to. I had to give you the chance to connect the dots. You needed to feel all of the emotions you denied yourself when Hannah died. I know they aren't all happy ones, but you needed to allow yourself to feel them in any regard." Terri said.

The blonde swallowed painfully and looked back up. Her eyes found Terri's and she held them a moment. After everything they'd been through together, after all of the years they'd invested in one another, Arizona still found herself amazed by her ex. Terri had risked her own emotions in order to help her. Even though she still loved her, the brunette had put everything else aside so that she could bring order to her chaotic mind.

"All the items you put together, you did so hoping I'd discover everything on my own?" she asked in halting tones.

"Yes. The swaddle so you could remember the joy. The dvds so that you could connect with her again. The birth certificate so you could remember the bond only a mother can have. The obit I added because I knew you most likely didn't remember that time. I had hopes that it would shock your system into remembering, thus opening the flood gate to your suppressed emotions. And, well, the death certificate so you could see that you were not, absolutely were not, the cause of her death, Zona."

Callie released a sigh and gently squeezed the back of the blonde's neck. She'd known there was a connection between the death certificate and the Traver's, but she'd had no idea the other reasons Terri had had in adding it to the box. She had to admit that the green eyed woman was good. She did her job well and despite herself, Callie found herself impressed with her.

"How did you know I wanted kids?" she asked breaking the uneasy quiet of the room.

Terri's raptor like gaze switched to her and she smirked but said nothing.

"Terri has an uncanny ability to read a person's body language. She listens to different inflections in a person's tone of speech and translates every evasive change in conversation into something she can use and understand. She's a behaviorist. You most likely did something, something you didn't even notice, and she picked up on it. It's frustrating, really." Arizona said in answer to her girlfriend's question.

Callie raised her eyebrows and opened her mouth slightly in an 'Oh' gesture. She suddenly felt very exposed and found herself wanting nothing more than to leave the other woman's presence.

"Look, my plane leaves early tomorrow. I, uh, I have some things I'd like to take care of before then and I know the two of you are probably sleep deprived." Terri said as she stood from her position on the couch.

Turning to look back at her ex, she said "Her room is still the way you left it. I haven't even gone inside or opened the door since you left. I couldn't. I just always figured you'd be back and we'd go through her things together."

The tall and slender woman's eyes fell and her voice faltered slightly but she continued.

"If you'd like, you're welcome to come by anytime. You could go through her things, take anything you'd like. I-I just...I just wanted to give you the opportunity, Zona."

Raising her eyes once more, she noticed the blonde smiling sadly. Arizona's fingers grasped Callie's for support.

"You still live in our old house?" she asked, slightly dumbfounded.

Terri laughed and nodded her head in the affirmative.

"Yeah, like I said, I always expected you to come home. Anyway," her eyes landed on Callie's for a moment, "You'd be welcome too, of course, Dr. Torres."

The Latina raised a brow and offered a half smile in response. She was feeling more and more uneasy with the direction of Terri's words. Standing quickly, she glanced back down to her girlfriend.

Arizona stood as well and released an unsteady breath. Stepping away from Callie embrace, she walked over to stand in front of Terri. The green eyed woman inhaled and looked at her with unsure eyes.

"I'd love to go through her things, Terri. I can't believe you kept everything after all this time."

The brunette said nothing but her eyes continued to search the blonde's face.

"I think we're going to go. I...I need time to think about everything. I need time to process it all. Thank you for..."

Arizona found that her words failed her. She wasn't sure what she should be thanking her ex for. Her mind was still jumping from one thought to the next, but she realized that there was a sense of inner calm within her that had not been present before.

At long last, she truly felt as if she had it inside of her to overcome her profound grief and guilt. Things were far from being 100%, but for the first time in two years, she was left with a sense of understanding. Terri had been right. Callie had been right. Now all that was left for her to do was to heal. To face forward. To remember Hannah and celebrate her life.

Startling herself and the other two women in the room, Arizona stepped closer to Terri and wrapped her arms around her. Hugging her ex fiercely, she hoped to convey everything she was feeling in the quaint gesture.

"Thank-you" she said simply. She wasn't just thanking the brown haired woman for making her see the situation for how it really was. She was thanking her for seven years of love. She was thanking her for Hannah. She was thanking her for her support and her respect. She was thanking her for being a part of her life.

Terri had taught her about love. Had it not been for Terri, Arizona wasn't sure if she would have been ready for the great love story of her life. She would have missed out on experiencing Calliope Torres. Terri had been an important step, a vital chapter, in the tale of her life and she had led her to her true love, to Callie.

Thanking her seemed the least that she could offer.

The green-eyed woman rubbed her back softly, and sniffed back her own emotions.

"You're welcome, Zona. Go be happy. Live life. Call me if you ever need anything, okay?" she said stepping away from the blonde's embrace.

Nodding her head, Arizona walked back to Callie and took her hand. She noticed her girlfriend's eyes on her ex and the two of them seemed to be communicating without words.

"Come on, let's go home. I'm tired." she said as she started pulling the taller woman towards the door.

"Remember what I said, Callie." Terri said from behind them.

Reaching the door, Callie opened it and turned to face Terri. Arizona's brow was lowered in question.

"I will, don't worry. Thanks for helping her. I'll always be indebted to you."

With that, the two women quickly left. There was nothing else that needed to be said...with Terri anyhow. The next conversation belonged only to Callie and Arizona. It was up to them to decide how best to handle the recent flux of information they'd received.

It was up to them to decide how best to move forward with each other.


	30. Chapter 30

**Chapter 30:**

_"Are you coming to bed, Zona?"_

_The thick voice drifted to her ears and caused her to jump slightly. She breathed in heavily through her nose and turned to greet the poser of the whispered question. Terri was standing at the end of the hallway in a dark pair of boxers and an oversized t-shirt. Her hair was in a messy heap about her shoulders and it was obvious to Arizona that she'd been deeply asleep only moments before._

_The blonde blinked to clear her vision and glanced down at the small body sleeping soundly on her chest. Hannah's curly light brown hair was soft against her chin and she could feel the child's steady heartbeat against her breast. A tiny hand was grasping her shirt in a tight fist and she could just barely make out the sound of her one year olds light snoring._

_Dipping her head lower, she let her nose run through her daughter's hair while her hands scratched up and down a small back. She realized that she must have dozed off some time ago. Hannah had awakened her in the middle of the night and so she'd gotten up to rock the child back to sleep._

_Holding Terri's penetrating gaze, Arizona said "No, go back to sleep, Ter. I'm going to sit with her and make sure she sleeps okay."_

_Terri smiled as she continued to stare at her two favorite people in all the world. Hannah was snuggled up on Arizona's chest as her tiny hands securely held her mother's body to her own._

_"Are you sure? You know you have to be at the hospital early in the morning."_

_The blonde placed a gentle kiss on her daughter's brow and allowed her cheek to rest lightly on the child's forehead. She could feel the warmth of Hannah's body as her right hand rubbed along her back. She wasn't ready to lose the simple, but rewarding contact._

_"Yeah, honey, I'm sure. Just go back to sleep."_

_Terri walked the length of the hallway and entered the living room. Stopping briefly behind the couch, she pulled a thick fleece blanket from the cushions and walked over to her girlfriend._

_The blonde was lying in their recliner with her feet propped up in front of her on the foot rest. Her eyes followed Terri's movements as she moved around the room._

_The green eyed woman kneeled next to mother and child before placing he blanket over their bodies. Arizona smiled gratefully as the warmth engulfed her._

_"Thank-you." she said quietly, so as not to disturb Hannah._

_Smiling back with her perfect smile, Terri kissed her softly and placed her hand on top of Arizona's. She could feel Hannah's body beneath her fingertips._

_"Sleep well, Zona. I'll keep the door open just in case you decide to come to bed."_

_The blonde yawned and settled down in the recliner more fully. Hannah stirred and her hand, that had been grasping Arizona's shirt, spastically twitched. Arizona brought her left hand up and gently grabbed her daughter's. Upon feeling her mother's soothing touch, Hannah's fingers wrapped around the blonde's fingers and she was motionless once more._

_Terri smiled one final time and pushed herself off the floor. Silently, she left the room and walked back down the hall._

_Arizona watched her until she disappeared into their bedroom. Her eyes felt heavy and Hannah's steady breathing only served to lull her into a peaceful sleep. The ticking of the clock behind her and the occasional tightening of tiny fingers around her own all came together to send her into a blissful state of unconsciousness._

After leaving Terri's hotel, Arizona and Callie had returned to the blonde's apartment. Callie had tried to talk with the smaller woman about what they had learned, but Arizona had told her she needed time to allow everything to settle. She'd promised the dark skinned woman that they would talk when the pace of things slowed down. The two of them had managed to catch a couple of hours of sleep before they'd returned to the hospital for their last overnight shift.

Mark had greeted Callie at the start of her shift at the surgical board.

"So, you wanna share on supermodel chick or am I gonna have to make something up to satisfy my curiosity?"

Callie had scoffed at him as she'd continued to look at the board in front of her.

"God, you're like a girl sometimes, Mark."

When he'd raised an eyebrow, she'd continued, "Fine, here's your gossip: 'Supermodel chick' is someone Arizona and I had a threesome with. We decided to expand our sexual horizons and get a little freaky. Next week, we're going to look into bondage and sex toys."

She'd turned and walked away from him before her smile could overtake her features. She loved Mark and he really was a great friend, but there had been no way she could have told him the truth of who Terri was. He would have asked too many questions and the answers those questions would have required weren't Callie's to give.

She'd grabbed a patient's chart and headed to the elevator when Mark's voice had stopped her.

"You're kidding, right? Torres?"

The elevator doors closing had been all that was needed for her to break into a fit of laughter. Mark was always wanting the "dirty details" of her sex life. Telling him what he'd wanted to hear had bought her some time and a good laugh.

The rest of her shift had passed with relative ease. Routine surgeries, rounds, and catching up on paperwork allowed for her night to pass quickly and before she, or Arizona, had known it their time at the hospital had come to an end.

She'd met the the blonde in the locker room and had decided to just let things play out as they normally would. Arizona had been quiet since they'd left Terri's hotel and Callie had been trying to respect her need for space. A lot had happened to the two of them in a very short span of time and she'd known they both needed to let the air settle, so to speak.

Arizona had greeted her with a bright smile and a lingering kiss. The two surgeons had said goodbye to their colleagues and left the hospital. They were both scheduled to be off the following two days and Callie had known they'd have plenty of time to put things into perspective. They'd come through the storm intact and stronger than before.

They just needed to decide where their lives were going to take them next.

_"Hannah Marie! Don't put that in your mouth! Hannah!"_

_Arizona's stern voice cut through the easy peace of a sunny summer afternoon. She and Hannah were in the backyard and the blonde had been sitting in a large wooden swing watching her daughter play in her sandbox._

_The sun was warm and the wind in the trees sang of beautiful tidings as it passed her by. She'd dropped her head back onto her shoulders as she let the warmth of the day wash over her face. When she'd glanced back at her daughter, she'd been horrified to see that the small girl had somehow managed to grab a snail on the outside of her sandbox._

_Hannah's small, clumsy fingers were holding the mollusk and heading for her open mouth._

_Arizona watched as her words caused her daughter a moments pause._

_"Hannah, put that down." she said. Standing from the swing, she started to walk towards the sandbox when her daughter giggled at her and placed the snail in her mouth._

_"Dims! No!" the blonde screeched as she dove into the sand pit. Hannah's face was scrunched into a look of distaste but despite that, she moved away from her mother and clamped her mouth shut._

_"Hannah, open your mouth...right now. Spit that out, Dims."_

_Arizona shoved her fingers into her child's mouth as Hannah continued to move her head away from her. Feeling the slimy wetness of the snail mixed with its hard shell made the small woman nauseous. Hannah coughed at the intrusion and the gesture allowed the blonde to grab the confused snail and remove it from her daughter's mouth._

_Tossing the invertebrate into the yard, Arizona returned her attention to her two year old. Hannah's tongue was sticking out of her mouth and she was smacking her lips in an effort to remove the taste of the snail._

_"Nassy" Hannah said._

_The blonde could only look at the small girl. Mere moments before, she'd been enjoying the summer sun and now she was covered in sand and the fingers of her right hand were damp and sticky from removing a snail from her daughter's mouth._

_"Nasty?" she said, raising an eyebrow at her daughter._

_Hannah nodded her head enthusiastically and smacked her lips again. Blowing a strand of hair away from her face, Arizona plopped down onto her back heavily in the sand. Her face was soon shaded from the harsh glare of the sun as a small body loomed over her own._

_"Mommy...mommy...we eat now?" her daughter asked innocently as she patted her arm to get her attention._

_All the blonde could do was laugh. Terrible Twos indeed._

"You want me to make us something to eat?" Callie asked as they entered Arizona's apartment.

She had to admit she was rather enjoying the domesticity of the past week. Coming to the blonde's apartment after work, falling asleep with her at night, awaking to her warm body in the morning, sharing a meal with her when time allowed; all of those things left the Latina with a sense of serenity. She'd not felt that way the brief time she and George had lived together. His mind always seemed to have been far away. As hard as she tried, she'd never felt that the two of them were anything more than roommates with benefits.

With Arizona, things were easy. They had been so from the start. She didn't have to try with the smaller woman. Everything seemed to have a way of falling into place without either one of them noticing it. What had started out as an acrimonious dispute had resulted in a rather surprising and rewarding outcome. She realized, as she dropped her purse on the couch, that she could get used to sharing her life with the other woman. All aspects of her life.

Arizona shrugged her shoulders out of her jacket and hung the garment on the hall tree coat rack to the right of the front door.

"Yeah, baby, I'm starving. Hospital food makes me sad." she said with a pout and followed Callie into the kitchen.

The taller woman smiled at her and rounded the corner to enter the kitchen. Opening the refrigerator, she eyed its contents and turned back to her girlfriend who was sitting on a stool behind the island.

"Ari, you have nothing in here." she said, continuing to hold the door to the refrigerator open so the blonde could verify the truth of her statement.

Arizona ducked her eyes and laughed shyly. "Yeah, well, I...I save tiny humans, Calliope. I'm an awesome surgeon who-"

"Doesn't know how to go shopping, apparently." Callie finished for her, a humorous glint in her eyes.

The blonde laughed before sighing and sliding off the stool she'd been sitting on.

"Okay, you win. But, in my defense, I wasn't really spending much time here before...you know."

Callie smiled sadly and walked over to stand in front of the shorter woman. Placing her hands on Arizona's slender hips, she let her fingers slide into the belt loops of her pants and pulled her closer.

The blonde let her own hands wrap around Callie's back while her head fell forward to rest on a tanned chest.

"How about this," the dark haired woman started, "you go take a bath and relax and I'll run to the store and grab some things so I can make us breakfast?"

Callie's nose was buried in Arizona's hair and was nudging along the rim of her left ear. Despite having worked all night, the blonde still smelled like cherry blossoms and the subtle scent was causing Callie's stomach to flutter.

Arizona sighed happily and planted a quick kiss on her girlfriend's sternum before pulling back to stare into her eyes.

"That sounds like a great idea. Hurry back, though."

Callie extracted herself from the smaller body in front of her and smiled as she headed to the front door. Picking up her purse on the way, she turned back towards the blonde before opening the door.

Arizona was smiling at her in simple joy. Her arms were wrapped around herself in an effort to keep the raven haired woman's warmth surrounding her.

"Be back soon." Callie said. With that, she turned back to the door and left the apartment.

* * *

Arizona stood in the kitchen for several long moments after Callie had left. She knew her girlfriend would be gone for a while. The dark skinned woman loved to shop, especially for food. Standing in her kitchen, the small woman let her shoulders sag as she released a breath.

Everything was out. Her secrets, her demons were no longer chasing after her. They'd caught up with her and she'd faced them. She'd looked them square in the eye and, finally, she'd conquered them.

Things were going to be okay. Arizona felt as if she and Callie had grown closer through out the experience. She'd known from the beginning that the other woman had a huge heart, but the past few weeks had shown her just how big that heart truly was. Callie had been phenomenal, outstanding and awe inspiring after finding out about Hannah and Terri.

Though the two of them had had their share of fights and near misses, they'd come out on top and were now stronger than before. For that, the blonde was eternally thankful.

Stepping out of the kitchen and into the living room, Arizona looked around the room as her mind traveled back to all the things that had happened so recently. She wondered what her apartment would say if the walls could talk.

_"You want to know who they are? You want to know who Hannah is?"_

_"YES!" Callie yelled._

_The blonde stepped back and looked into the dark haired woman's eyes. Her hands were steepled together in front of her face while her fingers were pressed into her top lip. Callie noticed that Arizona was shaking. Her hands were trembling and she was pacing a short path in front of her._

_The blonde removed her hands from in front of her face and they came to rest on her hips. She continued to stare at Callie._

_"I love you." she said softly. "You are my reason for existing. You're my sanity, Calliope. I'm...fragmented without you. I'm-I-I'm not me when I'm not with you. I'm not able to function in your absence."_

_"Ari-"_

_"You want to know who Terri is? Who H-hannah is? Fine, but you will not stand there and doubt that I'm in love with you. You'll not come into my apartment at two in the morning and accuse me of cheating on you. You don't get to attack me because you know nothing, Calliope. You know nothing. But, you will."_

Arizona trailed her hand along the back of the couch. The memory had flashed before her eyes so suddenly and so vividly, she felt as though she'd been transported to that night. That was the night when everything had come into the brightness of the light. Callie had been unaware of what she was asking for and when the blonde had told her, it had spiraled into a series of ups and downs for the both of them. Squeezing the back of the couch, her mind jumped forward to another time.

_"You smell good" Callie whispered as she nuzzled the soft skin of Arizona's neck. She was leaning against the arm rest of the blonde's couch with the smaller woman resting against her. Arizona's back was to her front and Callie's arms were holding her in a tight embrace. The blonde ran her fingers down the latina's arms and reveled in the feel of her skin._

_"I probably smell like the inside of an operating room" she joked. She felt Callie laugh against her ear and it sent electricity down the length of her body._

_"Well, the O.R does get me hot so I think it works."_

Smiling as she looked down at the couch, she remembered she and Callie lying on the cushions after work. It had felt so good to have Callie's body wrapped against her own. She remembered the gentle beating of the other woman's heart as it thudded against her back. They'd been happy. That morning had been the start of Arizona's healing process. It had been one step, one small step among many, that had led her to where she now was. One step, one simple moment of letting her guard down, had allowed for more profound steps to be taken.

_Kissing Callie's lips fully, she pulled away and moved her head so that her mouth could find the other woman's ear._

_Voice heavy with emotion and ragged with her efforts, Arizona whispered, "Is this how you want me to touch you, Calliope?"_

_Her hips picked up their pace and she heard, as well as felt, her lover moan at the sensation._

_"Yesss." Callie hissed through clenched teeth. "You're amazing...don't stop...don't stop, Ari."_

_Callie's hands moved slowly from the blonde's face down her neck and finally to her shoulders. Her nails dug into creamy white shoulder blades as she felt the onset of her orgasm approaching._

_"I love you...I love you...you feel so good, Calliope."_

Arizona's face flushed hotly as she recalled their most recent lovemaking session. It had been sudden and, slightly, unexpected but it had been beyond fulfilling. Hearing her lover moan and beg for her body was the ultimate source of pleasure for the blonde. She was in control of those moments, of Callie's reactions. It wasn't control in a 'power play' sense of the word. It wasn't about having the upper hand over the taller woman. It was about love, release, trust, honesty and wonder.

In those moments, Arizona was in control. Callie trusted her in those moments. She trusted her with her body, her love, her soul. They were pure and honest and both awed by the experience. The control came from a mutual understanding that they both were in the moment together and they both were safe with each other. The control Arizona coveted so, she also relinquished when Callie made love to her.

Where before, Arizona had always held back and not fully given herself to her girlfriend, the recent past had shown her how much more satisfying making love with Callie could be if she let the other woman have control. Never before had the smaller woman given so much of herself to another person. She'd never let her guard down completely or allowed her emotions to display themselves so freely before Calliope.

Turning from the couch and walking towards her bedroom, she realized rather quickly that her apartment, if the walls could talk, would gossip ceaselessly about Callie. Memories and recollections of the woman were everywhere.

_"I'm close, come with me." she said raggedly. She brought her face up to greedily kiss Callie's lips before pulling away. Their breaths were skating across each other's faces in heavy pants. Arizona noticed that Callie's lips were pulled back against her teeth in an expression of unadulterated joy. Her eyes were hooded as she moved her hips and her sex against the blonde's._

_"I'm with you, baby. Keep your eyes open. I want to see you when you come." Callie managed to breathe out between her heavy intakes of air. Arizona leaned her forehead against Callie's and opened her eyes. They both thrust their hips forward at an ever increasing pace and before long, they both pulled their heads back as their orgasms knocked and thrashed and rolled through their bodies. Arizona's eyes remained open and focused on Callie's for only so long. Her mouth opened in silent appreciation as her legs and arms grasped painfully around the latina's wet body._

_Callie watched as the blonde's face changed to mirror her body's reaction to her orgasm. She was beautiful to the ortho surgeon. She was free and unhindered in this one moment. She was in ecstasy and she was Callie's. She felt the pulsations shock their bodies as they continued to gently roll their hips together. She couldn't believe how good this position felt. Feeling Arizona come against her own center was pure and absolute perfection. They were one. They were united. She couldn't imagine ever feeling closer to anybody than she did in this one snippet of time._

_She let herself fall backwards and her body came to rest at the foot of Arizona's bed. The blonde had moved backwards with her, her own body still wrapped around Callie's, and she laid fully along Callie's frame._

_"Oh my god. I can't move or think or...god, I can barely breathe." Arizona's words were slurring as she tried to get air into her lungs. She felt Callie's throaty laugh as it vibrated through her body. They were both slick with sweat and other bodily fluids and their hair was plastered to their faces and necks. Callie ran her hands down the blonde's back and laughed again._

_"You're burning up." she said in a near silent voice._

_"So are you." Arizona replied before kissing Callie's chest. They remained in that position for nearly twenty minutes as they both recuperated. The blonde turned her head so that her ear was directly over her girlfriend's heart. The gentle sound reverberated through her skull as she laced her fingers with Callie's._

_"I love you, Calliope. So much."_

_Callie squeezed her hand firmly. "Hmm, I love you, too baby. Especially after tonight." The two of them laughed. They were together. They were perfect. They were made for each other._

"You're my great love story, Calliope Torres." Arizona said quietly to the silence of the room. She looked around the space before walking into her bathroom. Turning the water on in her bathtub, she at on the edge of the basin and smiled to herself. Though she and Callie had been through a lot recently, she couldn't help but feel grateful for the experience. The dark haired woman was everything to her. Everything. She'd brought her back to life, breathed joy into her being, nurtured her soul and kept her from falling into a deeper depression.

The past few weeks, the two of them had done practically everything together. They'd gone to work together, come home together, eaten their meals together, slept together, cried together, laughed together...lived together. They'd accreted. Arizona couldn't imagine going back to their previous arrangement. She knew Callie's apartment was closer to the hospital, but the idea of sharing space with Cristina and Owen once again was unfathomable to her.

She wanted to spend every minute with Callie. She wanted them to start a life together a...a family? The thought gave her a moment's pause as she toyed with the idea in her mind. Couldn't the two of them be a family? A family didn't have to mean children, did it? Was she ready to take that step? Would she ever be? What would happen if their child died? Would she pull away from Callie just as she had done with Terri?

Shaking her head, she slipped out of her clothes and eased her tired body into the warm comfort of her garden tub. She didn't have to think about children right now. All she knew with absolute certainty was that she wanted she and Callie to live together. She wanted to have the rest of her life to get to know the other woman. She wanted every day to be about Calliope...learning new ways to make her laugh, finding new ways to excite her body, seeking out new ways of seeing the same person; of seeing Callie.

As she settled herself fully in the water, she sighed and smiled. The storm had passed. The clouds were clearing and the sun was cresting against the break of a new day.

* * *

"Hey, you gonna stay in there until you look like a prune or what?"

The rich voice caused her to jerk and she opened her eyes to meet dark orbs gazing at her in amusement.

"Calliope, when did you get back?" Arizona asked sitting up in the, now cooling, water.

Callie walked over to sit on the edge of the bathtub and smiled down at her.

"About ten minutes ago. I put everything away and called for you, but you didn't answer."

The blonde lowered her brows. She must have dozed off shortly before Callie had come back. Standing quickly, she met her lover's eyes and replied, "Yeah, I guess I was more exhausted than I thought. Hand me a towel, will you?"

Callie looked up at Arizona looming over her, water cascading down her perfect body, hair wet and slick, and felt her mouth go dry. Reaching out, she trailed the fingers of her right hand across the blonde's stomach. She felt the gentle muscles underneath her fingertips flinch at the contact and she smiled.

"Calliope, if you keep that up, we're never going to eat breakfast." Arizona protested. She allowed her left hand to land lightly atop her girlfriend's questing fingers. Callie was no longer looking at her, instead choosing to allow her eyes to follow the path her fingers were undertaking. Her touch was light, almost nonexistent, but utterly reverent in its application.

The dark haired woman remained silent. She wanted to say so many things to Arizona, but the enormity, the scope of everything seemed too much to fit inside her head. The woman standing nude before her was her life. Arizona was her knight in shining armor, her good man in a storm. She was positive and upbeat and perky and cute and strong willed. She was understanding and sympathetic. Though she possessed an easy going personality, she also came with an unwavering sense of right and wrong. She had strong convictions and she stood by those to a fault.

Arizona was her soul mate and her one true love. She couldn't see herself ever being as supportive as she'd been the past several days with anyone else. Arizona Robbins was the fire that burned in her heart and pumped blood throughout her body. The stunning, complicated, adorable woman before her was her best friend, her truest confidante, her greatest love. As her fingers traced a path down her stomach and met her navel, she couldn't stop herself from leaning forward and placing a feather light kiss below her belly button.

The woman before her was a mother. The woman before her had carried a tiny little human within her and given birth to that life. She found herself wishing that she could have seen her girlfriend during her pregnancy. How she wished she could experience that joy.

"Calliope?" Arizona asked suddenly, her hands cupping the other woman's face.

Looking up, Callie realized she'd allowed her lips to linger on her girlfriend's midsection for several moments.

"Are you okay?"

The dark haired woman smiled weakly and stood from her seated position. Reaching behind her, she grabbed a plush towel from the blonde's towel rack and turned back to face the blue eyed woman.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Just...you, naked, wet..." she let the rest of the sentence hang between them and opened the large towel to present it to Arizona.

The smaller woman stepped out of the bathtub and into the warm softness of the towel being held open for her.

"You're sure? You seem...preoccupied." she asked.

Callie smiled fully at her and wrapped the towel around the blonde woman. Pulling her closer, she used the towel to help dry Arizona's body. She didn't want to start a conversation about her own aching womb. She was past ready for the two of them to move on and put all the recent drama behind them. There would be time, later, for them both to discuss what lay ahead for them.

"I'm super." Callie said in a teasing tone. "If I'm preoccupied, it's because I'm starving and I can't wait to cook for you."

* * *

A few hours later, both Callie and Arizona were clean, refreshed, and well fed. They were both cuddled up together in the blonde's bed fighting off an inevitable sleep.

Arizona's adroit fingers were burning a comfortable trail down Callie's sides as she held her close to her body. The dark skinned woman's head was lying on her shoulder while her left arm was flung across her stomach. She was toying lightly with the fabric of the blonde's shirt.

"What are you thinking about?" Arizona asked quietly.

Callie sighed and splayed her fingers, palm open, on her girlfriend's stomach.

"Just about everything that's happened. I can't...I don't understand how you could blame yourself, Arizona."

The blue eyed woman lowered her eyes and continued to stroke the soft skin along Callie's hip. She knew the time had come for them to talk. About everything. Taking a calming breath, she allowed herself a moment to order her thoughts. This conversation had the potential to change everything for them.

"You can't understand, Calliope. When you're a parent, a mother, you feel responsible for everything that happens to your child. You brought them into the world, you gave them life. When you're carrying them those nine months, they're safe because they're with you every minute of every day. After they're born, anything can happen. You quickly realize how little control you have over things, you know? Hannah was my heart. My perfection. She was more than a vital part of me. She was...she was the meaning of everything. She affirmed what it was to be human. She affirmed what it was to be a woman, a mother."

Callie remained silent as she listened. A lot of what her lover was saying, she'd heard before, but a lot was also new information, new insight for her.

"I protected her from everything, Calliope. I protected her from monsters under her bed, sleepless nights, bugs, heartache, cruelty...everything. I made sure she had a nice home to live in, plenty of food, the best clothing and toys. She wanted for nothing because I made sure she had everything. She went to every check-up, took every vitamin...I did everything right. In the end, it didn't matter because I couldn't save her from becoming a statistic. Even when her chances were better than most, I still lost her. How could I not blame myself? How?"

The taller woman pushed herself up onto her elbow and looked down at her girlfriend. Arizona's gaze was focused on the door in front of her bed. Callie grasped her chin softly and forced her to meet her eyes.

"Hey, listen to me." she sad in a gentle tone. " You are not responsible for what happened. Do you hear me?"

When Arizona attempted to pull her head away, Callie tightened her hold on her chin and kept their eyes locked.

"I mean it, Arizona. You know that sometimes bad things are just going to happen, despite our best efforts to keep them away. That doesn't mean that everything you did for Hannah was meaningless. You gave her a wonderful life, Ari. I'm sure she loved you as much as you loved her. You were her hero. You allowed her to experience all the good things the world has to offer. That's NOT meaningless."

Arizona smiled sadly and grabbed the hand that was holding her chin. Squeezing her girlfriend's wrist tenderly, she said, "You really think so? You really think I gave her a good life?"

Instead of responding right away, Callie chose to kiss the tip of the blonde's nose. Lowering her mouth, she brushed her lips across her girlfriends before giving her a chaste kiss.

"I know so. You make everyone's life better, Ari. I speak from experience so don't bother arguing with me."

The blonde laughed out loud and looked upon the woman above her with open adulation. Callie's words, though simple, caused a burden to lift from her soul. She felt her guilt, her heavy and suffocating guilt exit her body as she laughed. She had given Hannah a beautiful life. They'd laughed and experienced new things every day they'd shared together. Looking back, she could see now that she had indeed been Hannah's hero. The little girl had worshiped her.

_"Terri! Have you seen my stethoscope?"_

_Terri looked up from the book she'd been reading and lowered her glasses to the bridge of her nose._

_"Shouldn't it be in your locker at the hospital, Zona?"_

_Arizona sighed, obviously annoyed, and continued to look around the living room for her missing instrument._

_"Yes, Terri, it should be but it's not. It's lost and I need to find it yesterday."_

_Looking under a cushion and growing more agitated by the minute, the blonde woman failed to notice a new addition to the room. Terri's snort of laughter caused her to give up her frivolous search and turn around._

_"I think I found your stethoscope, Z." Terri said in amused tones._

_Arizona followed her girlfriend's gaze and her eyes landed on her two year daughter across the room. Hannah was holding a small stuffed teddy bear to her chest with one hand. In the other hand, she was pressing a circular piece of metal to the bear's middle. When she saw her mother looking at her, she screwed her face up into one of confusion._

_"Mommy, I tink my bear is ick. He no have a thump thump." she said plainly._

_Terri looked over her shoulder and pulled her glasses from her nose. Eyes bright and smile full blown, she caught Arizona's eyes and said, "You have a patient, Dr. Robbins."_

_Arizona smirked at the brunette and walked across the room to kneel before her daughter. Hannah's small hand was holding the end of her stethoscope and a concerned look was dancing across her face._

_"Well, let's see what's wrong with Mr. Cuddles." she said. Hannah handed her the bear and watched as her mother placed her hand over her smaller one._

_"Mr. Cuddle's thump thump is up here, Dims." Arizona said, guiding Hannah's hand to the top left of the bear's chest._

_"Now, put these in your ears," she instructed, indicating the earpieces of the stethoscope, "and close your eyes."_

_When Hannah's baby blues were hidden behind her eye lids, the blonde tapped the metal disk of the instrument in a quick pattern._

_"Thump thump!" Hannah squeeled suddenly, opening her eyes._

_Arizona laughed and picked the small girl up from the floor. Resting her weight on her hip, she slid her stethoscope from Hannah's neck and placed it around her own._

_"You 'thave' him, Mommy!" Hannah said, happily as she threw her arms around her mother's neck._

"Where did you go?"

"Hmm?"

"Where did you go, just now?" Callie asked again.

Arizona smiled as she remembered Hannah's excitement over Mr. Cuddles 'thump thump'. The young girl had been amazed that her bear wasn't actually sick.

"Just remembering Hannah. I'd like to watch some of those dvds later...if you're up for it."

Callie smiled at her and gave her a soft kiss. "I'd love to do that, Arizona."

Silence engulfed the two of them as they both settled back down in the bed. Callie tossed her left leg across Arizona's body and tugged her closer to her. Her fingers found the hem of the blonde's shirt and she slipped her fingers past it to get full access to the blonde's soft skin.

"Calliope?" the smaller woman asked in a timid voice.

Fingers gliding along smooth, soft muscles, Callie replied with a simple, "Hm?"

"About what I said earlier, about wanting to be a mother again...I-I'm sorry for how I reacted to everything. To the baby question and you and...everything."

Callie's fingers were rubbing lightly along the underside of the blonde's ribcage and she released a breath before choosing her words.

"You don't have to apologize for anything, Ari. If I'd known about Hannah, I never would have brought up children. I never would have tried to press the issue-"

"No, don't. You want a baby, Calliope. That hasn't changed. You've always seen a large family in your future. I don't want you giving those things, those dreams up for me."

Callie's throat constricted and she felt her heart fall into the deep pit of her stomach. Her fingers stopped their lazy movements.

"What are you saying? I told you I choose you, Ari. Don't you dare-"

"Calliope," the smaller woman silenced her with soft fingers to her lips, "I'm saying we'll talk about it."

The Latina extracted her body from her lover's and sat up fully in the bed. Looking down at the blonde, she found that she couldn't quite read the other woman's expression.

"We'll talk about it? About...about us having kids?" Callie asked uncertainly. She wasn't sure if she was hearing Arizona correctly.

Biting her lip, the blue eyed surgeon nodded slowly and held Callie's eyes.

"Yeah. I'm not saying yes and I'm not saying no-"

"Then what are you saying?"

"I'm saying we'll sit down and really talk about things. You didn't have all the facts before and I was still running from the past. So, I'm saying that we'll sit down and both keep an open mind when we do. I don't know if I could be the one to carry our child, Calliope. Not after Hannah, but when we're ready and at that point in our lives, then...we'll talk about it."

The raven haired woman smiled, lips pulling back to reveal a radiant show of teeth. Her bottom lip was trembling and her eyes were filling with tears. Her emotions were taking over control of her body and she did little to fight them.

Arizona sat up and pulled her into a tight hug. Her arms wrapped around Callie's back and neck in a strong embrace and she buried her nose in the crook of the other woman's neck.

"I love you. I love you so much." the blonde whispered into her ear. Her breath was warm and sent the taller woman's nerve endings into a frenzy.

Callie couldn't believe that they'd come so far. A week ago, they'd been fighting, breaking up, making up, making love, being confused, being hurt, and walking through the shadows. Now, they'd come through the darkness, together, and were both looking at their future with hope. She didn't know if she and Arizona would would one day have children of their own, but at that single moment, she didn't care. She had the woman she loved more than anything else in her arms, in her life, and that was more than adequate.

"Oh, baby, I love you too." she replied raggedly. She pulled back and captured the blonde's lips. When she felt Arizona open her mouth to respond, she quickly slipped her tongue inside and massaged the other woman's tongue with her own.

"Thank-you. Thank-you" she said in between kisses.

Pulling back, Arizona rested her forehead against her lover's and rubbed their noses together playfully.

"You're welcome. You know the talk is good."

Callie laughed and pulled Arizona towards her. Landing on her back, she looked up into the face of her smiling girlfriend and sighed. The blonde's left hand was supporting her weight next to the dark skinned woman's head and her hair was falling over her shoulders.

"So, talk is good?" Callie asked humorously.

Tracing the contours of the other woman's honey toned face, the blonde nodded.

"We're okay, Ari, right?"

The question was spoken softly and it changed the mood of the room. Before Arizona could respond, Callie elaborated.

"With all the talk, I mean. We're okay? We've talked about Terri. We've talked about Hannah. We've talk about our future-"

"Not all of it." the blonde interrupted her.

Laughing to hide her anxiety, Callie asked "Not all of it? There's more?"

Arizona's smile remained in place, but Callie could tell she was nervous about something. Placing her hands on her girlfriend's shoulders, she rubbed gently in an attempt to ease her mind.

"Ari?"

"I love you, Calliope Torres." the smaller woman said suddenly. "This experience has brought us closer than I ever could have hoped. You're my best friend. You're my home. I've really enjoyed you being here with me. I've enjoyed us being here together. We've been a family. I don't want to have to share you with Cristina and Owen."

Callie lowered her eyebrows and tried to follow what the blonde was telling her. She was speaking so quickly that Callie had to strain to understand her.

"I know you and Yang have some weird, twisty roommate thing and your place is so much closer to the hospital than mine, and maybe I'm being presumptuous here, but I don't want to just see you sometimes. I don't want to have to arrange sleepovers at your place and worry about bringing a change of clothes with me. I don't want our make out sessions to be interrupted by Owen and Cristina grunting and going at it. I want you to be with me. I want-"

"Are you asking me to move in with you?"

Stopping her tangent and releasing a heavy breath, Arizona swallowed back her apprehension and said, "Yes...if-if you wanted to. I mean, we don't have to live here, per se. We could buy a house, rent an apartment, whatever you wanted to do. I just-you make me happy, Calliope. I want us to start a life together. I want to take the next step. I want to be with you." she finished in soft tones and lowered her eyes.

Callie's heart swelled with love and adoration for the woman above her. It was insane at times how in sync they were with one another.

Arizona's nervousness over the issue only endeared her to the Mexican woman all the more. After everything they'd been through together, the blonde was still scared that Callie didn't feel the same way she did.

"Are you trying to make me fall in love with you all over again?" she asked happily.

The blonde's eyes met hers once more so she continued. "First, you tell me we'll discuss the idea of kids and now you're asking me to move in with you? How did you become so perfect?"

Turning her head, a dimpled smile graced the smaller woman's features. "Is that a yes?"

"That's a big yes. I'd live in a box if you asked me to, Arizona."

Arizona leaned down and kissed Callie fully and without reservation. Straddling supple hips, she tangled her hands in a thick mess of black hair and moaned into the body beneath her.

Two years ago, she'd felt as if her world had ended. Happiness, love, joy, hope, excitement, and peace were all things of the past. In that time, Arizona had resigned herself to the fact that she was nothing more than an empty vessel, destined to continue through life devoid of anything good. She'd left her home, her job, her girlfriend, her life.

Everyday had been a struggle. Everyday had been just about getting through the hours so she could repeat the same routine all over again the following day. Life had held no meaning for her. She'd lost her way, her will to live. On the outside, she'd smiled and tossed her head of curly hair. She'd laughed and given every one of the children she'd worked with a dimpled smile. On the outside, she'd shown the world what it had needed to see. But, on the inside, she'd fought with herself for every breath she'd taken.

On the inside, she'd battled her emotions for every beat of her heart. She'd been drowning, falling, and no one had been none the wiser. Two years ago, Arizona Robbins had lost her reason to verify her own existence. Until Calliope Torres.

Air had come rushing into her lungs at such speed, she'd been barely able to draw at breath when first she'd seen the other woman.

Her heart, that had been beating in an overly erratic pattern for months, had pounded so painfully in her chest, she'd been sure a heart attack was imminent.

Life had coursed through her viens when she'd meet Callie. Joy had had sent its blissful vibrations into her fingertips and peace had been bestowed upon her once again when she'd finally introduced herself to the broken woman. Where before she'd felt like a shadow of her former self, Callie had brought her back into her own body. The tall, sultry, smoldering latina had helped her to reestablish her own equilibrium.

She'd given her reason to dream, to breathe, to love, to laugh, to face forward.

Moving against her body and trailing her fingers down over soft skin, Arizona knew that anything was possible for her so long as Callie was by her side. She'd lost her daughter and run from her demons, but the other woman's support and love had enabled her to finally close the door on that chapter of her life.

She knew the two of them still had things to discuss, but making the plans and looking to the future no longer scared her as it once had. They had plenty of time to talk, plenty of time to make love, plenty of time to build their life together.

Arizona could look to the future with nothing but hope and now, thanks to Callie, she could remember her past with nothing but fondess and gratitude.

Feeling her lover's body tighten around her fingers and her hands tangle in her hair, the blonde peppered her face with butterfly kisses while she eased her body from its high.

Her lips found Callie's ear and she whispered, "Marry me."


	31. Epilogue

**Control-Epilogue:**

"Spread your legs." she said as she grabbed and squeezed at the thighs on either side of her head. Her girlfriend's scent was overwhelming and its heady aroma was causing her to almost take leave of her senses. No, not her girlfriend. Her fiance. The woman whose hands were pushing her face lower to her core, who was bucking her hips for her touch, who was moaning and breathing heavily, was her fiance.

It had been more than a month since Arizona had whispered the words that she'd secretly always dreamed of hearing. Her blood had been rushing through her body and her pulse had been pounding behind her eyes. The blonde's words had seemed to have come from far away. Callie had not been able to process them at the time.

As she lowered her lips to Arizona's heated sex, she couldn't help herself from remembering that day.

_"Marry me."_

_The slender woman on top of her placed several soft kisses along her ear and nuzzled her nose in her hair. She could still feel Arizona's fingers buried deep within her and the aftershocks of her orgasm were still reverberating along her body's frame._

_Opening her eyes, she let her vision focus on the ceiling above her. Her mind was convinced that her ears were playing tricks on her. She could not have heard the words she thought she had just heard. Was her life playing out before her like one of the great tales of all consuming passion? Was it truly possible for her to be anymore in awe, anymore in love, with the woman on top of her than she was just moments before?_

_Her hands trailed down the blonde's spine and came to rest in the curve of her back. Her breathing was heavy and she knew Arizona could, most likely, feel the steady beating of her heart in her chest._

_"What?" she asked in a hoarse voice. The simple word, the simple question, seemed too small to take on the enormity of what her heart was feeling._

_Arizona pulled away from her, just far enough to be able to peer down into her face, and said again, just as simply, "Marry me."_

_In a shaky tone, Callie replied "Are you serious?"_

_She suddenly felt the fingers, still inside her body, start to move and curl within her. Rolling her eyes at the sensation, she couldn't stop her hips from moving to obtain deeper contact._

_"Arizona..." she whispered as her eyes closed._

_"I want to spend the rest of my life doing this, Calliope. I want everyday to be about you. I want to wake you up in the middle of the night and make your body cry its release for me. I want to sleep in on our days off and watch those reality t.v shows you love so much."_

_The blonde was speaking to her in a soft whisper. Her voice was low and thick with her love and her own arousal. Callie could feel Arizona's breath on her lips as she continued to tell her what she wanted._

_"I want to see you win the Harper Avery. I want to buy a house with you and fill that house with memories of all the ways I make you happy. I want to feel you against me every night when I go to sleep. I want to make love to you everyday so you'll never forget how strongly I feel about you."_

_Callie's hips were meeting the fingers inside of her at a steady pace. Her body was tired and sore from her previous orgasm, but she couldn't stop her reaction to the blue eyed woman. Arizona's words were only adding fuel to the fire ravaging her insides. Her dreams were coming true and she was almost too shocked to fully appreciate the moment._

_She felt a soft, wet tongue running along the bottom lip of her open mouth and she gasped. Opening her eyes again, she saw her lover watching her intently._

_"I'm serious, Calliope." the woman above her said before leaning down to kiss her lips. A moment later, a thumb brushing across her clit in rough circles sent her over the edge for the second time that morning._

_As before, the woman covering her body with her own leaned close to her ear and whispered, "Marry me."_

_Laughing with nothing but unadulterated joy, Callie hugged the woman on top of her fiercely and turned her head so she could capture Arizona in a heated kiss._

_"Yes, yes I'll marry you Arizona. I'll do anything you ask. God, I love you so much. Yes, yes..."_

_Her words were spoken quickly and in broken sentences as she continued to kiss her, new, fiance. Their wide and bright smiles made more than a few of their kisses awkward, but neither of them seemed to care. They were in love. They were engaged._

Recalling the emotions that had exploded inside her body on that day, Callie smiled and hummed as her mouth continued to suck the throbbing center of her lover. The taste of the other woman was coating her tongue and the wild buck of hips, coupled with deep and carnal moans, was nothing but music to the dance the dark haired woman found herself in.

Arizona was pushing her face harder and harder into her sex and the hands in her hair were threatening to leave her bald in places. Callie loved every second of it. She felt the blonde trail her right leg up her body. Arizona was trying, with desperate attempts, to draw Callie's mouth, her lips, her tongue closer to her. Her foot trailed over the back of Callie's left thigh and over her buttocks, finally settling alongside the curve of her hip.

Sweat glistened across both of their bodies;it's glowing sheen a testament to their lovemaking.

"Fuck...oh god...Callie..." Arizona managed only the simplest of sentences. Her heart was racing, her head was pounding as blood rushed through her frame, her muscles were taut and every nerve in her body was aflame.

Callie was doing absolutely amazing things to her with her tongue. How she ever could have thought of the other woman as a newborn was beyond her now. The copious amounts of wetness between her legs and the, almost unbearable, amounts of pleasure Callie was evoking should have been a sin.

Arizona felt as if she had been riding the pulsing sensations for eternity. Her release was well within her reach, but Callie kept her from attaining it with each new stroke of her tongue. She changed the pressure or the rhythm just enough to start the process all over again. As much as the blonde was enjoying the feeling, and it was such a beautiful feeling, she wanted nothing more than to spiral into blissful oblivion. She wanted her release, her end, her timeless moment of perfection.

Callie flattened her tongue over her clit suddenly and started to roll it into the tender flesh. Undulating her tongue, the Latina worked to give her girlfriend what she knew she had withheld long enough.

"Calliope...oh shit...baby...fuck..."

The blonde wasn't normally one to give into her base desires, but the feelings she was currently experiencing left her hot with need and a profound desire to give in to what her body wanted. Not too long ago, Arizona Robbins would not have been so free with her lover. Once upon a time, she would never have shown such feral lust to another. Her control issues, her need to be ahead of everything, had left her unwilling to be so vocal, so uninhibited.

That was all in the past. Though the peds surgeon was very much still a type A personality, recent events had shown her the joy of being completely free, completely devoted to her girlfriend. Giving Callie the reins to her passion, allowing her to drive her to the heights of human sensation, were both new avenues for the blonde. Every time Callie touched her, made love to her, spoke to her, it was new and exciting and deeply moving.

Since the events that had led them closer to one another, both women had discovered a deeper connection with each other. They kissed longer, made love slower, appreciated the simple moments, spoke at greater length, and found new reasons to fall in love again.

Gripping the pillow underneath her head with both hands, Arizona threw her head back as her body lifted off the bed. At long last, Callie had brought her to the edge and she was spiraling through her pleasure at a dizzying rate. She felt a hand sliding up her body, over a stomach tight with the throes of release, and up to her chest.

Her head was thrown back into the pillow supporting her body's weight, while her arms had somehow moved to the bed at her sides and were currently gripping the sheets. The hand on her chest pushed, ever so lightly, and she felt herself being brought back down to earth. Callie's mouth was still on her and she could feel her soft lips on her overly sensitive body.

Finally relaxing as the last throbbing pulsations left her soul, Arizona sagged, limp, on the bed beneath her and smiled lazily. Callie's lips left her center and a moment later she was rewarded with gentle, light kisses on her midsection. A soft tongue dipped into her navel before continuing its path to her rib cage. She wound her hands into the other woman's thick, lush head of hair and breathed heavily as air returned to her body.

Her throat was dry and she couldn't remember ever feeling so sated. So at peace. Callie's tongue teasingly traced along the underside of her ribs and the blonde jerked slightly. A moment later, her lover's lips found her nipples and softly kissed each one before planting several quick kisses up her neck and finally capturing her lips.

Arizona was utterly spent and the effort that was required to concentrate on kissing her fiance was almost too much. The passionate kiss was all tongues and lips and a battle for some form of rhythm. Sighing into Callie's mouth, the blonde pulled away after a time and opened her eyes.

Staring back at her was the face she enjoyed looking upon more than any other. Messy dark waves of raven hued hair framed Callie's deeply tanned skin and her soul searching brown eyes were alight with love and admiration. Tracing the taller woman's features with her eyes, Arizona's gaze fell on her lips and she smiled. The evidence of the blonde's orgasm was still plainly visible on Callie's full lips. Her mouth was pulled back in a smirk and a smug expression was slowly making itself known.

"What are you looking so smug about?" Arizona whispered playfully. She placed a hand on her girlfriend's cheek and cupped her face.

Callie smiled fully at the question and licked her lips, subconsciously, before answering. Tasting the other woman, she closed her eyes and a soft, appreciative moan escaped her lips.

"That was some language, Ari." she replied, smile still gracing her face. "I don' think I've ever heard you be quite so...sexy."

"Sexy? My cursing is sexy to you?"

Callie laughed and placed her hand over the one on her face. Tracing Arizona's skin, she said, "It is when I'm making love to you. I like seeing you like that."

"Really?" the blonde asked, slight disbelief coloring her words. She allowed her thumb to run lightly along Callie's bottom lip and smiled when the other woman's eyes fluttered at the sensation.

"Yeah, it's a big turn on."

Primal lust flared within her body anew at the Latina's words. Strength she thought long since depleted pumped through her veins and she laughed.

Dropping her hand from Callie's face, suddenly, Arizona quickly shoved it between their bodies and between the other woman's thighs.

Not expecting the hot contact, Callie gasped, almost painfully, and moaned. Her hips moved forward without her consent and she gripped the side of the blonde's neck with her right hand.

"Fuck..." she managed to say in a thick voice.

Laughing, Arizona continued to move her fingers through her lover's wetness and said, "You're right, it is a big turn on."

* * *

"So, what do you think?" the blonde asked spreading her arms out to her sides. Walking backwards, so she could keep her eyes on Callie's reaction, Arizona gestured to the wide, open space surrounding them.

"Arizona, this is...it's, wow." Callie replied. She swept her gaze around the large foyer of the house she'd recently entered and let out a heavy breath. Deep cherry wood and elegant hardwood floors came together to create a masterpiece of beautiful proportions. High ceilings, tall windows, and gentle corners only added to the wonder of the house.

"Where did you find this place?" the dark haired woman asked.

Seeing that she held her lover's full attention, Arizona clasped her hands over her lips and smiled shyly.

"Oh, I can't give away all of my secrets, Calliope. I take it that you approve?"

Callie raised her eyebrows at the blonde's words and walked past her. A winding staircase sat snuggled against the back wall directly in front of her and appeared to lead to another level of the colossal structure.

"Approve? Arizona, this place is awesome! It's gorgeous. It's huge and ritzy and-"

"Ours." the smaller woman finished for her.

Turning away from the staircase, Callie locked her eyes with her fiance's and opened her mouth in shock.

"Wh-what? Ours? When did you-I mean, what do we need with a house this big?"

Arizona laughed at the half sentences that poured from Callie's lips. She was so cute when she found herself flabbergasted.

"This house is ours, Calliope. If you want it to be. I've been looking around and talking with some people for a few weeks and this place sounded perfect. Apart from some last minute paperwork, it's ours. I wanted to surprise you."

Still in shock, but feeling her heart beating faster with every word the blonde spoke, Callie said "I am surprised.

"That's super! Now, to answer your last question as to why we'd need a house this big?"

Callie nodded and an apprehensive expression ghosted her features.

"I know I said before that we'd talk about having kids one day, but I don't want to miss out on anything, Calliope. I'm still dealing with accepting Hannah's death, but everyday I spend with you allows me to remember her without so much pain. I loved taking care of her. I loved being the one who made her laugh and smile. She was my joy, but I was her happiness."

Callie felt tears stinging at the corners of her eyes and she smiled and listened to Arizona.

The two of them had talked several times over the past month about Hannah. Arizona had spent hours telling Callie everything she could recall about the small child. The two of them had watched and rewatched the home videos that Terri had given them and Callie had found a whole new appreciation for the blonde.

Seeing Hannah in the videos had blown the latina away. She had been such a beautiful child. Her expressions were so much like Arizona's, that Callie felt as if she knew the young girl. In several of the videos, Hannah would smile and jump and grab at the camera. She had been so happy, so jovial. So full of life.

The most profound and soul grabbing moments for Callie had been the parts of the dvds that showed Arizona with her daughter. Whether the two of them were playing games, laughing, eating cake at a birthday celebration or sleeping together...seeing Arizona with Hannah had warmed and saddened her heart at the same time.

The blonde was wonderful with her daughter. She was patient and calm and loving and supportive and playful. Callie had fallen in love with Arizona just a tiny bit more upon watching the dvds.

Standing now in the large house her lover was telling her could be their home, Callie fought to catch up with the blue eyed woman's words.

"You're that for me now, Calliope. You're my joy. I want to be your happiness, baby. I like taking care of you. I like being the one that makes you smile. I love being the reason for your stunned expressions and your babbling and the look I'm currently receiving." Arizona finished with a small laugh.

Callie shook her head and stared back at the blonde. The sun was streaming through the wide, open windows and was cutting slants of light across the floor at their feet. It was happening again. She felt the same sensations she'd experienced when Arizona had asked her to marry her. Shock. Disbelief. Love. Happiness. Joy. Gratitude. Peace.

"I'm sorry, Ari. This is all so...so much. Are you saying what I think you're saying?"

Arizona gently placed her hands in Callie's and ran her thumb along the taller woman's.

"I'm saying yes, Calliope. We'll have kids. All kinds of kids. This is a four bedroom house. We'll be prepared. I don't want to be the one that keeps you from having everything you want. I want to be around for it all. You'll be an amazing mother, Callie. You'll be amazing." she said the last in a barely audible whisper. Her voice was no longer as strong as she'd tried to keep it.

"Arizona, I don't want you saying yes for me. Let's take more time for everything to-"

"Calliope, I'm not saying yes for you. I'm saying yes for us. I told you before that I didn't think I'd be able to carry our child and I still feel that way. But, I'd love to be around for your pregnancy. God, you'd be so beautiful."

Callie smiled and stepped closer to the woman she loved. Everything she'd ever wanted was hers for the taking. She was engaged to be married to the absolute love of her life. She was standing in a gorgeous new home that could be hers and her future family's. She was being told yes to her dream of children.

"Are you sure? I won't feel any differently if you change your mind, Ari."

The blonde met her eyes evenly and traced her cheek bones with her fingertips.

"Calliope, I want this. Well, not this second. I mean, I'd like for us to get married or as close as we can get, settle into this new home and get used to a routine together. But, when we're ready to take that next step, I'm saying yes."

The taller woman was overcome with emotion. She was happy, more happy than she could ever remember being. A new door to her life was opening in front of her and she was more than ready to cross over into its unknown expanse.

Remembering her failed marriage to George, her disastrous relationship with Erica, her sexual tryst with Mark and her confusion over Sadie, Callie realized that none of those bumps in the road of her life mattered now. She had never been meant to succeed at those past relationships. All of those people had given her something she'd needed and when she'd finally met Arizona Robbins, those pieces had fallen into place and set the mold for the story of her life.

Helping the blonde woman recover from her horrible past and mend the wounds that had cut her so deeply had been the final test to the powers that be that had proven she was ready for an adult relationship. No longer did Calliope Torres have to sleep with person after person in some mad attempt at finding a connection. Gone were the days where she would flirt with anyone if it meant she could receive attention from them. She had matured, both as a doctor and as a woman.

Her life was perfect and the thought of the future was just as wonderful.

"You're amazing, baby. I love you." she said between her tears of happiness. Arizona smiled at her and kissed her cheeks and her lips softly, slowly.

"I love you, too, Calliope. More than anything else."

"This house is really ours?" Callie asked looking, once again, around the spacious area she was standing in.

"If you want it to be, I'll make it happen." Arizona answered. Her eyes were light and her smile was bright as she continued to stare at her fiance. The look of complete happiness, of utter contentment on Callie's face was one the blonde always wanted to see.

She knew she wasn't ready for them to have children anytime soon, but standing in their new home, looking at the perfection that was her lover, Arizona knew that day wasn't far off. If she could make Callie happy, she'd do whatever the other woman wanted.

"Oh my God, Arizona. Yes, yes make it ours."

Smiling more brightly than before, the blonde kissed Callie fully on the lips and brought her body into closer contact with her own. The sun's rays were bathing them both in lustrous light as they danced along the golden hued floors.

Arizona pulled back, briefly, and caught Callie's eyes. Looking serious for a moment, she said, "Calliope?"

Catching the change in mood, the other woman lowered her eyebrows and waited for her lover to continue.

"When we have children, if it's a girl, can we name her after Hannah? Even if it's just her middle name, it would mean so-"

Silencing the other woman with a finger to her soft lips, Callie interrupted, "Of course, Ari. I'd actually thought doing the same thing, but I didn't know how you'd feel about it. We can name Hannah's little sister whatever you want, baby."

The words caught the blonde in her chest and she took in a deep breath in an effort to control her emotions. For the first time in a long time, Arizona truly felt as though her daughter was still with her. She'd kept her memories of the child suppressed along with her own feelings, that she'd been on the verge of burying her forever. Through Calliope, she'd been able to bring Hannah back to life, in a sense.

"Thank-you."

Callie smiled at wiped a stray tear from the blonde's face. Nodding her head, she turned back to the stairs that had caught her attention earlier.

"Wanna show me the rest of this place or what? I'm dying to see our new bedroom!" she squealed in excitement.

Arizona grabbed her hand and led her towards the staircase. Walking backward up the first few steps, she held Callie's hands in front of her and smirked.

"Oh, you're gonna love our bedroom, Calliope. We're going to make so many awesome memories in it. Let's go make one right now!"

With that, she released Callie's hands and skipped up the stairs. Callie laughed at the child like display and raced up after her.

They were home. Together. Forever.


End file.
